Breathless (5 page)

“You don’t have
to sugar-coat it for me, Eli. I read people for a living,
remember?”

“Just give it
time. You’ll find common ground.” Eli couldn’t imagine what that
might be though. If he were being honest, he’d admit
he
didn’t have all that much in common with Belinda. She didn’t like
sports any more than she liked to sweat. She didn’t like
convertibles because they messed up her hair, and according to her,
pets were a noisy, messy inconvenience.

“You really
think so?”

“That depends.
Do you want to?” He didn’t know how she felt about him. They hadn’t
been intimate, which was unusual for him. He told himself he was
taking it slow because he could imagine a future with Belinda, but
after seeing her interact with his family, he wasn’t so sure.

Family meant
everything to him. Their opinion was important, but it wasn’t the
deciding factor. If he wanted a relationship with Belinda, he would
go to the mat to defend her. But there was only one person he felt
that strongly about: Jamie
.

“There’s my
ride,” Belinda said when a car pulled into the drive.

“You’re
leaving?” Eli knew he should feel guilty, not relieved, to see her
go.

“Yeah, I’m
really not feeling very well. I hope your family will understand. I
can go in and explain--”

“No, it’s okay.
You didn’t have to call a friend.” He glanced at the attractive
blonde behind the wheel of the compact, late-model car. “If you
wanted to go home, I could have taken you.”

“No sense
ruining your dinner.” She kissed his cheek before stepping off the
porch. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”
Eli watched her walk away and tried to collect his thoughts. Would
it always be that way? Would every woman remind him of his
connection with Jamie? As the car spun dirt down the long private
drive, Eli heard the door close behind him.

“I was just
coming out to tell you dinner was ready,” Casey said, touching his
back. “Where’d your friend go?”

“She went home.
She wasn’t feeling well.” He didn’t know if that was true. Maybe
she couldn’t stand the thought of sitting down with his family.
Either way, she was gone.

“I’m sorry if
you feel we drove her away, E. That wasn’t our intent.” Casey sat
on the porch swing and patted the striped cushion. “Sit down.
Telling me what’s going on with you.”

Eli didn’t know
where to start. He was trying to fill a void by finding a
relationship that made sense. “I met Belinda through a dating
service.” He sat beside his sister. He needed to unburden himself
with someone who knew him well enough to help him.

“That doesn’t
sound like you,” she said quietly, patting his knee.

“I thought it
was time to try something different.” He sighed. “When Jamie came
back to town, I really thought it was our time, ya know?”

“I know you
did.”

“But the more
time I spent with her, the more I realized that time’s passed, but
nothing’s really changed. She’s still punishing herself for not
being faithful to Brent or being the fiancée she thought he
deserved.”

“So you decided
to give up and move on with your life. Is that why you went to the
dating service?”

“No, not
really. Brent’s fiancée, Ava, owns the dating service. I was kind
of curious about her. They’d just started seeing each other when I
went to
Lasting Connections
. She and I developed a
friendship after Brent beat the hell out of me that night at
Jimmy’s.” Eli smiled when his sister giggled. Time had healed his
wounds, and he and Brent had finally found a way to tolerate each
other. It was easier since they were no longer in love with the
same woman.

“So Ava
suggested you give her service a try?”

“I made the
decision.” He tipped his head back and looked at the cloudless sky.
When he was a kid, he used to waste summer days looking up at the
clouds and daydreaming about how different his life would be when
he became a professional hockey player. He’d have everything: fame,
respect, money, and a job he loved more than anything. His dream of
being a professional athlete came true, but it wasn’t enough.
Without someone to share his success, something was still
missing.

“Have you met
anyone other than Belinda through the service?”

His sister was
trying to be diplomatic, but Eli knew exactly what she was
thinking. “I like Belinda. I know she’s different than the women I
usually go for, but I think she’s different in a good way.” He’d
never brought any of his dates home for Sunday dinner, but they’d
often hook up with Adam and Casey at Jimmy’s, so she knew his
type.

“I’m not
arguing that you need to step out of your comfort zone.” She
laughed when Eli frowned. “Come on, you know you’ve just been
biding your time with those girls.”

“I guess.”

They were
silent for a few minutes, watching two squirrels chase each other
up and down one of many old oaks in the front yard.

“Trying to find
the polar opposite of Jamie won’t help you get over her.”

He wondered if
that’s what he was doing. “They’re not that different. They’re both
successful professionals--”

“They’re as
different as night and day, and you know it. Belinda backed away as
soon as poor old Shep got within a few feet of her. She said she
had allergies.”

Shep was the
old Border collie his parents got the year Eli moved away. His
mother had been missing him like crazy, so Eli’s dad brought the
puppy home. He said one of the neighbors was trying to place some
puppies he’d found. Since his mother couldn’t turn away a stray,
she took him in and showered him with love. Shep had been a part of
their family ever since.

“When Caroline
invited her upstairs to see her doll collection, she said,
maybe
later
.”

Eli sighed. “I
don’t want to be alone forever, sis.” He wanted what Casey and Adam
had, what his parents had: a partner he could count on.

“You won’t be.”
She moved the swing with her foot and twisted the plain gold band
on her finger. “But you’ll be sorry if you rush into something just
because it’s easier to be part of a couple than it is to be
alone.”

Something in
her voice troubled him. “Are things okay with you and Adam? You
guys aren’t having trouble, are you?”

She shrugged.
“Every couple has trouble from time to time, little brother. But
don’t worry, we’ll get through it.”

“You want to
talk about it?”

“If I do, I
know where to come.” She smiled as she covered his hand with hers.
“The important thing to remember is that you’ll get through the
tough times if and only if you’re married to your best friend.”

Eli thought
about that. “What if your best friend doesn’t want to marry
you?”

“Don’t give up
on Jamie just yet. Maybe she just needs a little more time to
figure things out. It would be a damn shame if you quit on her
before she was ready to quit on you.”

“What’s that
supposed to mean?”

Casey squeezed
his hand before pulling away to pull her ponytail loose. She
scraped her nails over her scalp. “Sometimes it’s much easier for
outsiders to see the obvious. I’ve seen you and Jamie together
since y’all were kids. I knew the day you fell in love with
her.”

“You did?” Eli
closed his eyes and remembered the night everything changed. He and
Jamie had snuck out to go to a drive-in movie. They were lying in
the cab of his buddy’s truck on a blanket, staring up at the stars.
They weren’t paying attention to the movie; talking was more fun.
He’d had a moment of clarity that night. He didn’t care about the
big-busted cheerleaders willing to put out in the backseat of his
old car or the popular girls who asked him to be their date to
Homecoming because he was a star athlete. He cared about spending
time with his best friend, because there was nowhere else he’d
rather be and no one else he’d rather be with.

“I was at the
kitchen table when you snuck in, remember?” Casey laughed. “Daddy
had taken away the keys to your car because you’d failed that
algebra test and the coach was threatening to bench you because
you’d skipped school to hang out with Jamie.”

“I
remember.”

Jamie’s brother
had been in a car accident. It wasn’t too serious, but he’d spent
the night in the hospital. When she heard what happened, Jamie
didn’t want to wait until the end of the school day to go to the
hospital, so Eli did what any good friend would do: he ditched
class to drive her to the hospital.

“Your sophomore
year was all about Jamie. You guys spent all your time together,
but that was the night you realized how you felt about her. Am I
right?”

“Yeah, that was
the first time we kissed.” After that, they became a couple and
were inseparable for two years until he left to play hockey. She
told him he needed to focus on his career and she needed to focus
on college. When he came back at the end of his first season, she’d
been dating someone else. It had nearly killed him, but he
convinced himself they could still be friends. And they had been,
until she came to him looking for comfort because her relationship
with Brent was falling apart. That night, he couldn’t deny how he
felt any longer.

He’d told her
he loved her, that he’d always be there for her. He made love to
her the way he had so many times before, and his world was finally
back in focus. Until she left in tears the next morning because
she’d betrayed the man she’d promised to marry.

“You guys have
so much history,” Casey said.

“Yeah, most of
it as friends. She claims that’s all she wants, and I can’t waste
my life loving a woman who’ll never love me back the way I need her
to.”

“You’re right,”
Casey said, kissing his cheek. “I would never want you to. Just
don’t make the mistake of cutting and running when it’s really time
to dig in your heels and fight for what you want.”

“What if I’m
tired of fighting for Jamie?”

“When you get
tired of fighting… it really is time to move on.”

Jasmine tried to put
on a happy face for her parents, but it wasn’t easy. She was
distracted by thoughts of Eli’s family entertaining his new
lady.

As if her
mother could read her mind, she said, “I saw Jill at church today.
Course, you’d know that if you’d come with me like I asked you
to.”

Apparently her
mother wasn’t finished making her feel guilty, but she didn’t want
to talk about Eli or his family. “That’s nice.”

“Jill said he
was bringing some girl to dinner tonight. You wouldn’t know
anything about that, would you?”

Jasmine folded
the paper napkins her mother passed her, grateful to have something
to do. “I just know she’s a lawyer and she’s divorced. I guess
they’ve been seeing each other for a while.”

“She got any
kids?” Rita asked, pulling the roast pan out of the oven.

“Not that I
know of.”

“Hmm.”

“What does the
mean?” Jasmine knew she should let it go, but if her mother knew
something she didn’t, she wanted in on the secret.

“I know Jill
and Glenn would love more grandbabies.” She took a pitcher of sweet
tea out of the stainless steel fridge and closed the door with her
hip. “Course, I told her she should be grateful she has two. I’m
beginning to think your daddy and I’ll never have the chance to
spoil any of our own.”

Jasmine was
tired of having that conversation. She’d told her parents she’d
settle down when she found the right person, but they routinely
pushed her until she got frustrated and stormed out of the house.
“Mama, I don’t want to argue with you today. Please, can we just
have a nice dinner and--”

“Who’s arguing?
I’m just trying to tell you that you missed your chance with Eli,
so you’d best be looking elsewhere.”

Jasmine gripped
the edge of the counter. “You know Eli and I are just friends. If
he’s found someone who makes him happy, I’m happy for him.”

“Girl, when are
you gonna get your head out of your--”

“Mama! On
Sunday? Really?”

Rita pursed her
lips as she set the table. “I’m just worried about you. Men like
Eli don’t come along very often, and when they do, smart girls
don’t waste any time snapping them up.” She pointed to the mashed
potatoes on the stovetop. “Dish those up, would ya?”

Jasmine tried
to pretend spooning potatoes into a bowl required all of her
attention, but she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone. Her mother came
up beside Jasmine and stared at her intently.

Rita brushed
her daughter’s hair over her shoulder and asked, “What’s wrong with
you, honey? You’ve wasted too much time loving a man who never
loved you half as much as Eli does. Can’t you see that?”

Jasmine bit her
lip, determined not to cry. Ever since last night, she’d felt as
though she might break down if the wind blew the wrong way. “I see
a lot things more clearly now, but that doesn’t change
anything.”

“Does that mean
you’re finally willing to admit you have feelings for Eli?”

“I’ve never
denied that I love Eli, Mama.”

“Don’t give me
that.” Rita reached for the bowl and set it aside so Jasmine
wouldn’t have an excuse not to look at her. “There’s a difference
between loving him as a friend and loving him the way he needs you
to. He’s been waiting for you for a long time, honey. You can’t
expect him to wait forever.”

“I have a
feeling it may already be too late.” She lost her battle to
suppress the tears as one slid down her cheek. “I’m going to lose
him. Things must be getting serious with this woman if he brought
her home to meet his family. She’s not going to want him to
continue being friends with me, and could you blame her?”