Breathless (7 page)

“Don’t look so
worried,” Ava laughed.

“Sorry.”
Jasmine covered her face. She was being silly. Ava was too classy
to ask her a question that would embarrass either of them. “Ask
away.”

“You and Eli
have been friends a long time. You dated in high school,
right?”

“We did.”

“Do you mind if
I ask why y’all broke up?”

Jasmine had
asked herself that question dozens of times, including every time
Eli had called her from half way around the country and she longed
to feel his arms around her. She’d been too blind to realize what
she couldn’t ignore anymore. She was
in
love with him. “We
were just kids. You know how it is. You want to get out and explore
the world a bit. You don’t want to get tied down right out of high
school or even college.”

“But you didn’t
mind committing to Brent right out of college?” Ava took a bite of
her sandwich.

“That was
different. Brent was different. I knew if I didn’t--” She almost
said “convinced him to marry me.” In hindsight, that’s exactly what
she’d tried to do. She was embarrassed by her actions. She should
have had enough self-respect to wait for a man who couldn’t wait to
marry her instead of trying to coerce a man who clearly wasn’t
ready. “I thought if we didn’t get married then, we probably
wouldn’t.”

“You can tell
me to mind my own business--” Ava smiled “--I probably would if I
were you, but why did you sleep with Eli if you were so in love
with Brent?”

“By then, I
knew Brent and I were over. We’d been fighting constantly. He
didn’t love me the way I needed him to, and I got tired of waiting
for him to come around. I stormed out of the apartment that night
and told him I was done with him.”

Ava frowned.
“So you’d already broken up with him when you slept with Eli? I’m
confused. I thought you cheated on him.”

“Technically, I
guess I didn’t.” Jasmine hated thinking about that night. She’d
been so angry at Brent. She went to Eli’s for comfort and found it
in his arms. When she came on to him, he told her he wouldn’t take
advantage of her vulnerability, but she didn’t give him a choice.
She wanted to wipe Brent out of her mind. She wanted to forget
every tear she’d ever shed over him, every day he’d stolen from
her. “But we’d had so many of those fights. I don’t think he took
me seriously. After all, I didn’t even throw my ring at him that
time.”

Ava grinned.
“You’d thrown the ring at him before?”

“Plenty of
times.” Jasmine cringed just thinking about some of the explosive
fights they’d had. “I don’t think I realized things were different
that night until Eli and I made love.” She pushed her half-eaten
sandwich away. “I couldn’t go back to Brent after what happened
with Eli.”

Ava asked,
“That’s when you decided to move to L.A.?” Jasmine nodded. “Why
didn’t you stay and try and figure out whether you and Eli had a
future together?”

“I felt too
guilty. I knew Eli had feelings for me, and I took advantage of
that. If I’d stayed, it could have cost me my friendship with him.
I wasn’t willing to risk that.”

“Why’d you
decide to come back?” Ava shook her head, looking embarrassed. “I’m
sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just--”

Jasmine held up
her hand. “It’s okay, I know what you meant. My agent, the guy who
convinced me I had a shot in the business, was a real loser. When
he said I could make a lot of money, he had nude modeling in
mind.”

Ava’s mouth
dropped open. “Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately.” Admitting she’d been taken in by a guy like that
was still embarrassing, but at least she hadn’t been stupid enough
to let it go too far.

“You said he
was the one who suggested you change your name?”

“Yeah, he said
Jasmine was sexier than Jamie.” She popped a potato chip in her
mouth and chewed carefully. “He was right. It does make me feel
sexier, more powerful somehow. I started tackling things I wouldn’t
have had the courage to before.”

When Jasmine
held the bag out to Ava, she took a potato chip. “Such as?”

“I’d always
wanted to be an architect, but I got off course in college. I
thought Brent and I were going to get married. I wanted to work
with him, so I changed majors and took business and finance courses
instead.”

“Well, I
seriously applaud you for going back to school. You’ve obviously
found your calling. The house you designed for us is beyond
anything I ever could have imagined.”

Jasmine was
surprised by how much Ava’s praise meant to her. She could
understand why Brent had fallen in love with her and why Eli seemed
proud to call her a friend. Ava was obviously a very special
person. “Thank you for saying that.”

“I mean
it.”

“I know you
do.” Jasmine was good at detecting lies, and she would bet her last
dollar that Ava’s compliment was heartfelt.

Ava crumpled up
her napkin and tossed it on the plastic tray. “But do you still
have feelings for Eli? I mean, I know you care about him, but is
there a chance you think of him as more than a friend?”

“Why do you
ask?” Despite the strides toward friendship they’d made, Jasmine
didn’t know if she was willing to confide in Ava about Eli.

“I can’t say
too much--”

“I already know
you set him up with Belinda.”

Ava sighed
heavily. “Good, I’m glad he told you. I wasn’t sure he would.”

“Eli and I
don’t keep secrets from each other.” That wasn’t entirely true,
given how long he’d waited to tell her about Belinda, but Ava
didn’t need to know
everything.

“I want Eli to
find someone who makes him happy,” Ava said, sitting up straighter.
“I believe I can help him find that special someone, but I can’t do
that as long as you’re in the picture.”

Jasmine was
stunned. Perhaps she’d been wrong to let her guard down. She could
still use the opportunity to find out more about her competition
though. “And you believe Belinda is the right person for him?”

“I think she
could be.”

“How do you
know that? You don’t even know him!” Jasmine lowered her voice when
the couple at the table beside them glanced over. “I know him
better than anyone. If you want to know what kind of woman would be
perfect for him, try asking me.”

Ava sat back
and folded her arms. “Okay, why don’t you tell me what kind of
woman you think would be right for him?”

Feeling a bit
like a bug in a jar, Jasmine said, “She’d have to be strong. Eli
doesn’t like weak women.” She crossed her legs and smoothed her
hand over her silk nylons. “He may seem to, because of the
brainless puck bunnies he dates, but he’s only passing time with
those girls. It would take someone really special to capture his
attention for the duration.”

Ava slid her
finger along the plastic tray as a smile teased her lips. “Go on,
I’m listening.”

“Well, they’d
have to share the same values and interests.”

“Uh huh.”

“She’d have to
be passionate about her work, since Eli’s so passionate about
hockey. I don’t think he could relate to a woman who didn’t have a
career of her own.”

“Interesting.”

Jasmine was on
a roll, and she couldn’t seem to stop herself. “She’d have to be
smart too. Eli’s really smart. I know a lot of people stereotype
him as a dumb jock, but did you know he had the highest I.Q. in our
senior class?”

“No, I didn’t
know that.”

“It’s true.
He’s a little sensitive about the fact he didn’t go to college--you
know, because he played hockey right away--but he could have easily
gotten a scholarship. He was a straight-A student and--” Jasmine
stopped when she realized Ava was staring at her a little too
intently. “What?”

“You really are
his biggest fan, aren’t you?”

“Sure, he’s one
of my best friends. I know better than anyone how great he is.”

Ava stood and
reached for her purse. “If I were you, I’d tell him that before
your time runs out, my friend.”

***

Eli was tired
after a five-mile jog, but he’d promised to go over to Belinda’s.
Since they hadn’t seen each other since the fiasco at his parents’
house, he felt obligated to go and reassure her they were still on
the same page. She’d called him every day and night, looking for
assurance that he was still interested in her despite the fact his
family didn’t like her. Her insecurity grated on his nerves, but
since he was partially responsible for planting that seed of doubt,
he felt obligated to put her mind at ease. He knew how it felt to
question where you stood in a relationship, and he didn’t want to
put someone else through that.

As he jogged up
his street, he spotted a familiar form in one of the iron chairs on
his front porch.
Jamie
. He wondered if that tightness in his
stomach at the sight of her would ever dissipate. “Hey, what are
you doing here?” he asked, trying to sound casual. His heart was
pounding harder than it had been during the peak of his run.

“I thought we
should talk.” She looked uncomfortable as she watched him stick the
key into his lock. “If now’s not a good time, I can come back.”

He’d never sent
her away before. It might be a good time to let her know their
relationship was changing, that he didn’t intend to drop everything
when she beckoned anymore. “I have a date in a bit.” Her face fell,
and he felt worse than he had the one time he’d accidentally
stepped on Shep’s paw. “You can come in if you don’t mind waiting
while I have a quick shower.”

“I don’t mind
waiting, but…” She started fidgeting with her ring. “I get the
feeling you’re not in the mood to talk.”

He pushed the
door open and gestured for her to enter. She was right. He wasn’t
in the mood to talk. The chatter in his head was already driving
him crazy. He didn’t need to add anyone else’s opinions to the mix,
but she wasn’t just anyone. No matter how often he tried to
convince himself things had to change, he would always make time
for Jamie.

She looked
hesitant as she entered and stood in the foyer, waiting for him to
make the next move.

“Come on in.
Can I get you a drink?”

“No, thanks,
I’m fine.”

He inclined his
head toward the family room. “Make yourself at home. I’ll be back
in a few.” Eli took the stairs two at a time, chastising himself
for being so cold. She hadn’t done anything to deserve that. It
wasn’t her fault she didn’t share his feelings. He just had to find
a way to deal with it. Eli showered quickly, towel-dried his hair,
and threw on a pair of faded jeans before running downstairs. He
planned to grab a clean T-shirt from the basket in the laundry
room, but when Jamie gaped at his chest, he decided the shirt could
wait. She’d seen it all before, but for some reason, she seemed to
be looking at him differently. Unless his imagination was playing
tricks on him again.

“Um, if you
need to grab a shirt--” she licked her lips and looked away “--I
don’t mind waiting.”

Eli smirked and
sank into the deep leather armchair, kicking his feet up on the
ottoman. “No, I’m good.”

“E, this isn’t
the kind of conversation I want to have when you’re
half-naked.”

Her eyes
flicked back to his abs, and he tightened them instinctively. He
wanted her to look… and touch. “It’s not like we haven’t been naked
together before. More times than I can count.” They shared a look,
and he knew they were both recalling some of the best times,
anywhere and everywhere they could steal a few minutes alone.

“That’s not
what I came here to talk about.”

Once again, she
was shutting him down. He was getting tired of playing cat and
mouse. If she didn’t want him, plenty of other women did. One of
whom was waiting on him. He glanced at his watch. “I have to be at
Belinda’s in half an hour. Whatever you came to say, you’d better
make it fast.” It wasn’t like him to be so short with her, and the
hurt look in her eyes made him feel guilty. He reminded himself
that if he didn’t toughen up, he was going to get hurt yet
again.

“Actually,
that’s what I came to talk to you about… Belinda.”

“What about
her?” He didn’t feel like talking to Jamie about Belinda any more
than he’d enjoyed hearing about Brent. After being intimate with a
woman as many times as he and Jamie had, talking about other lovers
just seemed wrong. Not that he and Belinda were lovers.

“How did things
go when she met your family?”

“Fine.” He
wasn’t going to confide in her about how the drama made him miss
her even more. Jamie fit in with his family as though she was one
of them. But she wasn’t. She’d said it a hundred times: she just
wanted to be his friend. “Look, Jamie, I don’t know why you’re so
interested in Belinda.”

“I just want
you to be happy,” she said in a timid voice.

“I am happy.”
That may be a stretch, but she didn’t need to know that. “I have my
dream job, a great family, friends, money in the bank, and a woman
in my life who wants to be more than just friends. What more could
I ask for, right?”

She looked at
him a long time. “If you’re so happy, why do you sound so
angry?”

“I’m not
angry.” He raked his hands through his hair, heaving a sigh. “I
don’t know what the hell you want from me. You told me you just
wanna be friends. I get that. I’ve kept my distance so you could
get on with your life. I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“It is.” She
stared at the blank TV screen. “I do.”

“Then why are
you here pumping me for information about Belinda? Are you jealous?
You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me,
either?”

Her face
tightened into a veil of fury. “I love you! Can’t you see
that?”

“You sure as
hell have a funny way of showing it,” he muttered.