Breathless Promises (Alluring Promises Series Book 3) (17 page)

I drank until I felt completely numb.

I drank until the fear of possibly seeing my uncle again dissipated to nothing but a fuzzy memory.

His hands were all over me. His hand shoved in my mouth as he pounded into me violently. The words ensued like a wrath, making sure I knew how little my worth was. The sweat poured from me, drenching me as if I were being held down in a swamp. The stench of his cigar breath permeated my thoughts as I tried to wrestle myself free from the hold he had on me.

“Nooo!” It seemed as if someone else had just screamed, but knew it came from me.

I sat up. Dazed, I quickly realized it was just another nightmare as I pulled the sheets to my body, hoping to conceal myself from him. I couldn’t stop my quick breaths as I closed my eyes, my body trembling from the nightmare.

I’m in my room. He’s not here. It’s all okay.
I repeated the mantra to myself in hopes to calm my beating heart. The tears were real as I touched my face and felt the wetness on my fingertips.

Nausea accompanied my fear and I realized drinking so much had only added to how tense I felt this time. Not only that, but I also felt an odd presence in my room. I swallowed hard, scared to see someone there. A small scream escaped me as I startled seeing Clark in my doorway. His brows pulled together and his whole face showed the same concern and worry that Vanessa’s had when she’s caught me having one of my nightmares.

“What are you doing? How long have you been standing there?” I tried to cover my fear with annoyance. Especially knowing by the look on his face that he had stood there long enough to see me in the midst of my nightmares. My head throbbed as I glanced at my nightstand, seeing all the mini-bottles I drank last night to help me sleep.

“Do you always toss around like that? Do you have nightmares all the time?” He took a step in further. His hands clenched as if he wanted to beat someone up. I couldn’t imagine who he could be upset with. It was my hell to deal with.

“Usually,” I slowly answered as Clark came around and sat at the foot of my bed. I wasn’t about to reveal why I had them, but since he obviously saw my usual restlessness, I knew he’d want an answer.

I could feel his eyes on me and I shivered, unsure if it was from his gaze or because I was still drenched in cold sweat.

“What are they about?”

I shrugged, hoping to seem indifferent. Everyone has nightmares, right? “Different things. It’s probably from the stupid scary movies I watch all the time. I watched one the other night. It must have just stuck with me,” I lied. I gave him a small smile as I tried to stand up. I felt his eyes sweep my body like he always does, except this time when I met his eyes, it wasn’t desire shining in them; it was concern. I rolled my eyes to play it off.  “It’s not that big of a deal, Clark.” I told him as I tried to make my way to my bathroom.

My arm was seized by his grip, stopping me in my tracks. “It seems to be a big deal. You barely sleep and when you do, it’s like that? You workout all the time as if you’re trying to exhaust yourself, you barely eat and I can’t figure out if you really have a job anymore. And then last night you drank until you passed out. Tell me what’s going on.”

I made sure to hide my emotions and forced a laugh, unsure if he actually cared. “Oooh Clark. Is this your new mission in life now? To find out your roommate’s secrets? Here’s a newsflash for you—there’s no secret. I work for a hotel. They work me too hard and don’t pay me enough. I can’t sleep because I tend to internalize movies and I exercise so I can attract guys so I can have sex. Exactly like you do with women.” I held out my arms and faked my best smirk. “Nothing else to see here, Clark. I’m sorry to disappoint you.” I leaned forward and whispered, “I’m a regular ol’ girl.” I jerked my arm from his hold and started to the bathroom. I glanced at the reflection in my dresser mirror to see Clark staring after me. I couldn’t tell if he bought it or not. But I sure as hell hoped so.

There was no way I wanted Clark to know this part of me. Hell, my best friend didn’t even know about Uncle Chad.

The memories of what Uncle Chad did to me were my nightmares to deal with.

I have to get out of going to Mom’s birthday party.

Clark

“You okay, Aub?” I asked, trying to keep my tone calm and sincere, which should have came across, because at this point it was too late to fake that.

Drunk.
That’s what my roommate was for the past week. Stumbling in every night and sometimes not until early morning. It was both annoying and heartbreaking, mostly because it’s just not her personality. That cool, confident chick that was so attractive to me was nowhere to be found. I knew she was depressed over her break up with that Greg guy, but it’s been over a week now.

Vanessa even talked to me, which is also strange. I guess Aub hasn’t talked to her or texted her. Vanessa thinks Aub’s been avoiding her for some reason. Remembering I wasn’t supposed to mention that Greg guy, I told Vanessa I’d keep an eye on her.

“Yeah. Great,” she practically grunted. I finished tying my sneaker and stood up, having no patience for any more of her crap. It was almost two in the afternoon on a Saturday and she was just coming out of her room for the first time today. She was probably still drunk too.

I looked up and glanced over to see her walking to the kitchen. I studied her outfit for a moment. Dressed in a heavy black sweatshirt that swallowed her entire body and black yoga pants—it was like the dressed down version of what she wore when she went to visit Greg that one time. “Going to a funeral?” I didn’t bother trying to hide my sarcasm since she still hadn’t answered me from before. Again, no response as she continued walking back to her room, drinking from her glass of water.

Ignoring another odd behavior from her, I checked my phone to see if anyone else had answered about meeting down at the park for some football. Matt replied that he’d meet me down there instead of walking over with me. Figures. He’s probably going at it with Vanessa.

I checked my watch and knew everyone was probably waiting for me down at the park, so I headed out the door, quickly forgetting about the whole situation.

I went to grab my keys and overheard Aub talking in her bedroom. She’s been odd, so I hoped she wasn’t talking to herself. I stood still a moment just to listen to her conversation. Hell, I hadn’t abandoned my vampire theory. And she is dressed in all black today.

“Yeah, I’m sorry.”…“No, I know it’s your birthday.”…“Yes, I just found out
Uncle Chad
will be there.”…“I’m
not
bringing that up again, Mom.”…“No, that’s not the reason. I have to work.”…“I’m sorry you’re hurt. I wasn’t trying to…” I listened to her huff and could have sworn I heard her stifle a sob.

I shrugged and realized I was eavesdropping on a conversation with her mom. Feeling like some weird creeper, I turned and left.

Walking down the hall, I replayed the conversation bits I heard. I had no idea she has an Uncle Chad. I couldn’t help but wonder if she has the same type of close relationship Ari and I do. The way she spit out her uncle’s name, it sounded like they were fighting or something.

It had to be that. I’d hate for my niece, Ari, to feel that way when she talked about me. It’s not like Ari and I haven’t disagreed on anything. I thought back to her birthday party not long ago and how embarrassed she was and how much I’d upset her asking about some boy she liked.

I patted my shorts and realized I forgot my wallet. I turned around to head back to the apartment, laughing that I was so pre-occupied listening in on Aub’s conversation.

Just as I opened the door, I heard a barrage of screaming. Adrenaline spiked through me as I tried to assess the situation.

“Fuck
you
,
Uncle Chad
,” Aub screamed. “You think you’re so fucking great? You think you can get away with it? You won’t!”

I rushed to her door and threw it open expecting to see someone in there with her. I stared at Aub who immediately stopped pacing. Her face and eyes were red with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her whole body was tense and fists clenched.

“What the…? Aub, are you okay?”

“I…just.” Her eyes darted around the room as I stood there wondering what the hell was going on. “Get. Out.” She screamed and then sniffled.

“Aub, I thought you were being attacked or something. You were screaming like a crazy lady. I…”

She stormed over to me and shoved me back out of her doorway. “It’s none of your business,” she cried as she slammed the door in my face.

What the…?
I swallowed not knowing what to think. Actually, I was pretty fucking pissed that she treated me that way, but my anger was also overthrown by a shit load of confusion about what I just witnessed.

I stood there staring at the white door wondering what the hell had I come back here for. That’s right.
My wallet
. I ran to my room, grabbed it and then started for the door. My roommate is crazy! I needed to get out of there.

I held my hand over the silver knob as I heard sobbing from Aub’s room. It’s one of those weird quandaries. I knew I should try to comfort my friend. But then again, she kicked me out.

Just as I was about to knock on her door, she popped the door open. Surprise was written on both our faces, not expecting to see each other standing there. Her eyes were still red from crying and she had some weird expression of determination written on her face.

“Aub, I didn’t mean to…”

“Save it. I was loud. No big deal.” She walked around me, reached down and grabbed her purse. Before I knew what was happening, she was out the door and I was standing there scratching my head as to what the hell just occurred.

******

I crashed down to the ground after playing a game of football with all the guys. It was our usual gang and then some guys from the bar and Matt’s work. The chicks had a picnic lunch waiting for us, which was really cool. Izzy was more than proud of her gourmet style sandwiches, which I had to admit tasted amazing. Of course, I’d have been happy throwing together just some meat on bread.

“What’s Aubrey up to today?” Vanessa shielded the sun from her eyes when she asked me.

“I’m not sure, actually,” I told her. “Do you know anything about her Uncle Chad?” I asked as I bit into my sandwich. Chewing, I glanced up and noticed her curious expression.

“Uncle? She has an uncle? She never mentioned him before.”

“Really?” I finished chewing and swallowed before continuing, “I overheard her mention his name when she was talking on the phone.” I wasn’t sure about adding how nutso she went right after, but I wanted to see if Vanessa had any input about her relationship with her uncle.

I took another bite and then looked up to see Vanessa’s confused expression hadn’t changed.

“Is she mad at me, Clark? I…I can’t get her to even text me lately.” She bit her lip as she looked down at her sandwich and Matt started to rub her back. “She’s never avoided me before. It’s just a little weird.”

I swallowed my food as I realized the two of them were really close and everything Aub’s been doing the past couple of weeks has been so out of character. It had to be because of her breakup, but I didn’t want to tell Vanessa if Aub wasn’t disclosing that to her. “She, umm,” I decided to let her in a little hoping she could help me snap Aub out of her funk. “She hasn’t really been acting herself lately. She’s been drinking a lot lately too,” I admitted to everyone.

“Maybe it’s that guy she liked down in Atlanta,” Izzy suggested.

“Yeah, she hasn’t really been the same since she got back from Atlanta, I’m pretty sure it might be something to do with him. Like I said, she’s been drinking pretty heavily. I mean today she didn’t come out of her room until right before I came over here.” Vanessa was looking up at Matt. “Did she used to drink a lot? Is she an alcoholic or something?” I asked, pressing Vanessa for some sort of answer.

“No. I mean, she drinks sometimes, but not that much. What do you mean drunk? As in fall down drunk? Every night?” She shook her head as I nodded my answer. Biting her lip she took a deep breath as Izzy reached over to touch Vanessa’s hand.

“Maybe she’s just going through a phase or something to get over this guy,” Izzy said.

Vanessa glanced over to Iz. “But she’s always talked to me.” Then her eyes flicked over to mine as she leaned in and whispered, “Or she would lie down with me to talk sometimes. Has she done that with you lately?”

“Well, no, but that could also be because I’ve been locking my door.” Vanessa slumped, her face falling in disappointment. I knew she was worried about her friend and I also knew with her pregnancy she shouldn’t have any stress. “Hey.” I bumped her with my shoulder. “I’ll keep an eye on her. I’ll try to find out what’s going and suggest that she talks to you.” She gave me a faint smile; this was probably the closest her and I have ever been. I really can’t have that. “Maybe I’ll get her to open up when I get her back in the sack.”

Vanessa’s head popped up, full of her usual distaste for me. I chuckled and shook my head. “God, Vanessa, you’re way too easy to tease.” I glanced over at Matt as he shook his head. I still noticed his smirk though.

Aside from the couple of chicks that came over to chat with me at Allure, I kept my eye on the door wondering where Aub was. I had no idea where she went, but I assumed she’d show up here sometime tonight. I shot Aub a text letting her know we were at the bar, but never received a reply.

By the time I got home it was around one, so I was thinking she should be home. She seemed so upset earlier today, so I was hoping to at least talk to her. I made sure my door was cracked when I went to bed in case she wanted to “watch” me sleep whenever she finally rolled in.

The next morning, I sat at our dining room table, watching the rain fall outside. It didn’t help my mood or anxiety since Aub still wasn’t home. I had checked her bedroom when I first woke up and found it just the same as last night.

I was about to send her another text asking where she was, when the front door slowly opened. My eyes took in her whole drowned rat appearance. She was dripping wet—as if she just stood out there under the pouring rain. Her hair was a mess, the clothes she wore yesterday were crumpled and she looked like she was crying.

I jumped up from my seat. “Aub, are you all right?” I asked as I walked over to her. She avoided my eyes and dropped her purse to the ground. I searched her face for any other signs that would clue me in about what happened to her. Mascara streaked down her blotchy face. Something was definitely different than all the other times she’s come home after her drinking binges. The fact that this was after her outburst about her uncle, didn’t escape me, but I couldn’t figure out what could have happened. They had to have had a fight for her to be so upset.

I reached out to touch her arm. Immediately, her whole body stiffened. I quickly retracted my hand hoping that I wasn’t the reason for that. She seemed to shake off whatever thoughts she had as her expression changed, giving me a small smile.

“Just a rough night. I’m a little tired, that’s all.”

“You look like you’ve been crying. Do you wanna talk or something?” At that point, I wasn’t sure what to think or how to handle this. Maybe some girl time is what she needs. I considered running across the hall to grab Vanessa so they could chat. I just wanted her to tell me what happened.

She shook her head, dismissing my question immediately. “I, uh, I went out and, um, found someone for the night,” she stumbled over her words and I tried to look into her eyes to see if she was still drunk.

“And the guy let you walk home like this?” I couldn’t contain my annoyance. Nothing was making any sense. Hell, her whole demeanor, since this Greg thing happened, didn’t add up.

“I took a cab. I mean, I walked. I just…,” she huffed after trying to get out her sentence. “I’m tired, Clark. I’m gonna go take a bath and sleep a little.”

I nodded while I tried to read her expression. Was she still drunk? Had she spoken with her mom again? Or maybe she called her uncle about Greg? I would hope Ari would tell me if she were heartbroken. Maybe she had and that was why she got drunk again? I watched her stumble to her room and close the door. I stared at the white wood as questions peppered my mind.

Who did she meet and where? Who was she with that let her walk home like this? Although, I probably have no room to talk as I let girls walk out of here without me escorting them home. Sometimes I grab them a cab, but not always. I felt shitty thinking they might walk in looking like Aub just did.

My thoughts were broken when I heard her crying in her room. Picturing her sobbing with only a piece of wood in between us, stabbed at my heart. The cold metal of her doorknob shot a chill through me as I hoped it wasn’t locked. I started to turn it, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Aub?” I asked through the door and gave it a light rap with my knuckles.

There was a long pause before she finally sniffled. Her muffled voice responded, “Yeah?”

I rested my head on the door and hoped she’d let me in. My stomach twisted knowing my friend was on the other side of that door and was in tears. Aub was always such a confident woman, so seeing her this way and hearing her break down wasn’t adding up.

“Are you…do you want to talk?” My voice felt foreign even to me. I couldn’t imagine what it sounded like to Aub through the door.