Breathless (The Breathe Series) (9 page)

Surprise one
down. Time for the next surprise.

“You ready for surprise number two?”

Sav nodded and slid off my lap.

Leaning down, I grabbed the laptop off the floor and logged in with shaky hands. The first part seemed to have gone well
—
now for the next part. I tapped in my password for my emails and waited for what seemed like forever for the screen to load. Sav’s eyes were beaming at me but I wouldn’t look at her. I couldn’t yet. Scrolling through my inbox, I clicked on the email I needed and opened the attached photo. My secret project.

“What do you think? If it’s not what you want then I totally understand. I just needed to do this.” I spun the laptop towards her and took a deep breath.

On the screen was a photo of my crib from when I was a baby. The deep mahogany and grand nature of the crib was unseen these days. It was one of those big fancy cribs seen on the television shows from the ‘80s. My time spent at Mom’s had involved restoring it to its original glory. My mom had cried when I told her my plans, and she sobbed as she told me that she had always hoped Tanzi and I would use them for our children.

Finally allowing my eyes to move, I locked onto Sav, who was staring at the screen. She was taking deep breaths. Talk about dropping two bombshells on her. Her hand rose and she traced the photo on the screen with one of her fingertips. I panicked as I saw her eyes glisten over. Her eyes shimmered between me and the screen in front of her.

“It’s already in our apartment,” I whispered. Hearing myself say
our apartment
was indescribable.

Grabbing the laptop from its place on my lap, she placed it on the floor beside the couch, sat back on her heels, and wouldn’t take her eyes from me. Her gaze made me swallow hard. I had no idea how to read her.

“Tate, you’ve got to realize I’ve never had this. I haven’t had an adult relationship. I haven’t had a guy do anything like this for me before.” She shifted towards me, pushing me back hard on the couch. I fell against the softness of the cushions and looked up at her as she spoke and moved her body over mine. “You, us... This is real to me, Tate.”

Savs lips crushed into mine without a moments warning. Her tongue traced the length of my bottom lip, probing and teasing with the demand of entrance. I would never deny her. Once connected, our tongues met each other in an intimate battle for ownership, to take dominance over the other. This was us. With soft hands, Sav lifted the shirt I was wearing, and the feeling of her nails running along the ridges of my chest and down to my stomach ignited every inch of my body. Raising my hips from the confines of the couch, I ground into her with fierce intensity, desperate to show her exactly how she made my body react. My body slid against hers, fuelling the fire that burned aggressively between us. Feeling her smile against my lips encouraged a deep groan to escape from deep within me, and my hands demanded that her body be closer to mine. Cupping her ass, I massaged and kneaded her delicious skin. Sav moaned with every contact our bodies made. I slipped my thumbs into the elastic band of her panties, and without hesitation, Sav lifted herself from my lap, allowing me to slide them hastily down over her gorgeous hips.

“I need to be with you. I need to feel you inside me. I need to feel everything there is between us. Show me.” Her words were short, her breathing shattering with every word. I would do exactly what she wanted.

Sav pulled away from me, allowing my hands to trail up her sides and slip her shirt over her head. She shook her head softly and her hair swished around her face like a goddess. My goddess.
You cannot fuck this up, Tate
. I wiggled my hips, struggling to remove my pants without breaking any contact with her body. Freedom was mine and my cock sprung to life out of my pants. I was aching for her. Sav’s hooded eyes travelled down my body and her tongue dove out to lick those deliciously plump lips as she took me in. Fuck, I was about ready to explode.

“I need you, Sav. I am going to come right here if I am not in you soon. I want to come inside you.”

Sav’s hooded eyes smiled at me as she slid her body down mine, finally sitting delicately on my knees. I shuddered the moment her hand grasped my cock. She looked up at me and a smirk filtered over her lips. Her hands swirled and stroked the length of my cock, squeezing me tenderly while her thumb swept over the tip. This girl could do no wrong. My breath hitched in my throat while my eyes fluttered shut as pleasure soared through every inch of my heated body. She dropped her head, her hair sweeping across my stomach as she encased me with those perfect lips. Holy shit. She ran her tongue up my length, and my eyes closed at the sensation. Her lips swallowed me whole, her throat constricting around me in a way I had never felt, and my body erupted into a thousand tingles.

“Jesus,” I moaned at the contact.

Sav’s nails ran over my stomach, digging into my flesh and adding to the intensity of the reaction my body was having to her. I brushed her hair to the side
—
I needed to see her face. Feeling my eyes on her, Sav looked up and smiled against me while her eyes flooded me with heat. Her tongue and lips
danced in perfect rhythm
as they unleashed a pleasure upon me that I never thought existed. As she ran her teeth gently up my length, I let out a deep moan knowing that she was destroying every part of me. My stomach muscles tightened at the familiar feeling of my release coming on. I could not come in her mouth.

“Sav, I need to be in you.”

She drew away from me, licking her lips, swallowing any remains of my pre-release that lingered, and I swear to God I nearly exploded. Without hesitation, Sav raised her hips and lowered herself on to me, allowing the two of us to join in one swift movement. Her head threw back as pleasure engulfed her body and the tiniest of moan escaped her lips.

“We are one,” she whispered, her body filling with everything I was.

She rose and plummeted back on me as we both breathed in unison, showing me that she was ready for me. Working my hips against her, I thrust into her, pushing as far as I could, teasing and testing her limits. Her moans echoed through the room, matching my heavy breathing. I fucking loved this. Our bodies knew each other perfectly, in a way that allowed us to synchronize knowing what it took to unleash an attack on each other’s buttons. The sweat from her chest beaded and mixed with mine as we traveled to the point of no return.

My hands gripped her ass, sliding her body onto mine and pushing into her as deep as she would let me. This was sheer lust. Moving her body on top of mine, Sav shifted, letting me completely fill her. She cried out and stilled as she adjusted to the new sensation. She was absolute fucking perfection. My eyes focused on the beautiful peak of her nipple that that was an inch from my mouth. Hesitantly, I dropped my mouth and encased her nipple with my lips, remembering her conversation on pregnancy making them ache. I licked and sucked the delicate flesh, providing a soothing massage with the pillows of my lips.

“Tate, that is… Oh shit.”

My release rumbled inside me, but I wouldn’t come before her. She slid down and her mouth met mine. It was my turn to own her mouth. My tongue thrust in and found hers. While we were moving together in pure delight, I tasted every inch of her mouth. My hands wrapped around her body and pulled her flush against me while my mouth continued its attack. Her moans against my lips were just the right aphrodisiac. Our bodies connected in a way that was heavenly, and my sweat became hers and her body became mine. Sav rocked against me for a final time and I felt her body contract and tighten against mine. Her release came in a rush of breath and raised heartbeats. My released filled her seconds later, and I had never been more alive.

As we
lay back in the oversized bed, my body was completely riddled with exhaustion and still suffering the effects of an intense sex session with Savannah. After our rendezvous on the couch last night, I’d carried her to bed and watched as she fell into a content slumber. There was no denying that our sex life was incredible
—
the best I’d ever had
—
but what started out as just sex had developed into perfection.

Perfection wasn’t even close to describing Sav though; I don’t think there would ever be a word that would do her justice. My heavy eyes landed on her standing across the room, her perfect little body on full display while happiness radiated from her. The fact that she loved me with every part of who she was completely left me breathless. How in the hell did I deserve her?

Resting my hands behind my head I stretched my weary body, allowing a groan of pure satisfaction to escape from deep within the confines of my chest.

“You sound happy with yourself!” Savannah cooed from across the room. My eyes burned into her body, running over her lace panties and a sheer bra and I couldn’t help but gaze in awe at her tan stomach that was offering protection to our most prized cargo.

“You have absolutely no clue how sexy you are, do you?” I growled. Her eyes dropped from mine and the taint flush of embarrassment flashed over her cheeks causing my ego to soar. “And still after everything we have said and done to each other, I can still make you blush.”

Savannah stalked across the room looking at me with eyes on fire and slid onto the bed straddling my hips. “Stop teasing me.”

My arms snaked around her waist resting on the bare skin of the small of her back. I knew my fingertips caressing her back always set her on fire and today was no different. Her eyes fluttered shut while her fingertips started tracing lines over my bare chest. My breath caught in the back of my throat at the sensation, at the intimacy of what was us. My eyes never left her. It was moments like this when she left me completely breathless that I felt most alive.

“Have I told you today that I love you?” she purred, resting her hand over my heart and opening her eyes to gaze at me.

“I love you both.” I removed my hand from the small of her back and rested it on her lower stomach. Sav wasn’t showing too much, but I could see the changes. The rounding of her stomach made everything so much more real. I ran my hand over her bare skin and sighed as her lips curved to a smile.

“Hearing you say that means more than you could ever imagine.”

“We are doing this together, Sav. I am going to be here the whole way, every single step of the way. I reacted like an ass when you first told me.” I placed my hands on her cheeks and moved her face to look at me. “I was petrified but I forgot one massive thing. I have the strongest, most resilient and amazing person by my side, and because of that, I feel like I can do anything. You make me happy. Jellybean makes me happy. We are a family, and if I have to tell you that every day, I will”

“Stop being so swoony.”

“Swoony?” I laughed. “You need to stop reading those romance books.”

“Whatever.” She smirked. “Did I tell you how much I love the crib?” She leaned down and kissed my lips softly, completely changing the subject.

“I am pretty sure you showed me your thanks last night.” I scratched the stubble gracing my chin and smirked as her eyes darted away from mine. “But I am glad you love it.”

This beautiful girl sitting on me, looking at me with so much love and devotion was changing me. She was making me consider things that no one had before, and she was influencing every part of my life. What should have had me running for the hills and finding the next easy lay to destroy our relationship hadn’t done that at all. Here I was, in a hotel room in the middle of Manhattan, deciding that I was going to face my past head on, that I was going to confront every one of my fears and face my reality. My past was destroying any chance of a future. The skeletons of my past could destroy everything that we were, but it was a risk I had to take.

“Tate.”

I was pulled from my thoughts and looked at her amused eyes. “Huh?”

“I lost you there for a minute.”

“Why do you have to go to work on a Saturday? I leave on Monday, and I want every second of the day with you,” I said quickly.

“I promise I’ll be finished by lunchtime, and we can hang out all afternoon and night. Remember we are having dinner with Tanzi and Jack.”

The
one thing I hated more than anything was the feeling of being vulnerable but when it came to Sav and Jellybean I would do anything. I needed to be vulnerable. I needed to smash down the walls that held out my fears, and my biggest fear was the unknown. The unknown of why I was a twenty-five-year-old man who still had daddy issues and still felt like he didn’t deserve any happiness. I hated that my insecurities ruled my life and that I always had the feeling that everyone would end up leaving me. I was in a loving relationship but still I was waiting for it to crumble around me, expecting it to implode when Sav finally decided to leave me. What kind of screwed up brain did I have? It was clear to anyone that I was happy but still I had the nagging voice in the back of my head, taunting and screaming that I didn’t deserve any of it, encouraging me to fuck it up before I was the one to get hurt.

Groaning loudly, I mentally gave myself an uppercut and pulled myself out of bed. Savannah had been gone for only an hour and I was already bored out of my brain. I connected the laptop and sat at the desk by the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Manhattan.

I checked my emails, called Ali in LA, and mindlessly searched the internet for an hour. It was when I found myself looking at a celebrity baby name generator website that I knew it was time for a distraction. I was not allowing my kid to have one of those crazy mind-fuck names. Closing down the laptop, I decided to call Tanzi in search of a different distraction until Sav finished work. I walked through the hotel room in search of my phone and tapped out a text.

Me: What are you up to?

Tanzi: I am giving Jack the best fuck of his life.

Me: Dickhead! Give Tanzi her phone.

Tanzi: Hey twinnie, we just had breakfast and now I’m bored.

Me: Wanna hang out with me? I need to tell you something.

Tanzi: Holy shit, did you propose?

Me: No, Tanzi, I didn’t propose.

Tanzi: Yet. You haven’t proposed yet. I’ll be there in ten.

Throwing my phone on the couch, I stood to stretch, every bone of my body cracking. I rushed to the bedroom, slid on my jeans, and threw on a tee.

Now would be the perfect time to tell Tanzi my thoughts. It was just her and me. I paced through the hotel room in tormented anxiety at the conversation I was about to have. Just hearing Tanzi assume I had proposed made me feel fan-fucking-tastic. I couldn’t wait until Sav was known as Savannah Connors, but I knew now wasn’t the time. I had to confront the past before I could focus on the future. I had to grow a set of balls and tell Tanzi my crazy thoughts and then drop yet another bombshell on Sav. Tomorrow was a date that Savannah feared most in her life so I knew the bombshell would have to wait. I wasn’t sure if she realized that I knew what tomorrow was. Sav had been trying so hard to be strong, but I’d heard the late-night sniffles and felt her clutch my body as her memories swarmed her.

A loud knock on the front door brought me back to what I knew I had to do. Tanzi’s opinion counted towards every decision I’d made in my life. I had broken up with girls because of her. I had moved to Los Angeles because of her. I had even bought Red Velvet because of her. I loved that Sav always said I had the Tate Connors Effect, but when it came to my twin, it was always about the Tanzi Connors Effect.

I swung open the door to a beaming Tanzi. “What’s cracking, baby brother?” Tanzi said as she pulled me in for a hug. I pushed her away gently only to be greeted by a smirk the size of Mount Everest taking over her face.

Tanzi was two minutes older than me and that provided the ammunition she needed to constantly taunt me of being her baby brother. Even now at the age of twenty five, she still introduced me as Tate, my baby brother.

“You’re an idiot.” I laughed, motioning for her to come in. “You might have the age on me, but I have the good looks and charm.”

“You are so conceited,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“And you aren’t denying my good looks.”

Tanzi followed me through the vast space of Sav’s hotel room and whistled her approval. Her head swung around like a twister, looking in every direction, trying to take in the space around her.

“Shit, if this is what I get from taking on business trips, sign me up.”

Shaking my head at my sister’s blatant disrespect of her job, I collapsed onto the couch. Tanzi walked through every inch of the hotel room, running her fingers along every surface and standing by the windows to take in the view. The longer she took, the more nervous I became. I rubbed my temples and closed my eyes as I felt a tension headache rolling in. As soon as my eyes closed, they flung open at the feeling of the couch moving beside me. Tanzi looked at me with suspicious yet concerned eyes.

“Tate, what’s wrong?” She scooted over and put her hand on my arm. Damn twin-tuition
—
one wrong move and Tanzi was on to me like a bloodhound.

Breathing in deeply, I frantically tried to squash the nerves soaring through me. “I am going to try and make contact with Dad.”

Silence.

You could have heard a pin drop. Her eyes had transformed in color the moment the words escaped my mouth, and now they were dark like midnight blue. Fuck. She was pissed.

“What the fuck? Why now?” Tanzi shot up from the couch like she had a firecracker up her ass and stormed through the apartment like a woman on a mission.

I dropped my head into my hands and groaned in frustration. Fighting with Tanzi was the worst, and by the look on her face, she was ready to fight. I raised my head slowly and peered at my twin, who was staring out of the window, watching the city below. We had never spoken about Dad, but now, all of a sudden, he was inching his way back into our lives whether we liked it or not.

Walking towards Tanzi, I stood behind her and grabbed her hand, swinging her around to face me. Holding both of her hands within mine, she finally looked up at me and her eyes crushed me. They were brimming with unshed tears.

“Tanzi, I have to do this. If I want to be any kind of man, I need to deal with this shit. It almost made me lose Savannah once and I can’t risk that again. I need to be happy, Tanzi, and with this hanging over me, I will never be happy.”

The single tear that ran over Tanzi’s cheek nearly killed me. “You are going to get hurt, Tate. You know I can’t handle it when you get hurt. I don’t have a good feeling about this. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?”

The scene was set, the opponents had arrived, and a world-famous Tate and Tanzi Connors standoff was about to unfold. One quality we shared was our fierce stubbornness. We were determined, and neither of us ever wanted to lose. I had scars on my body from our battles in the past. God, I had no idea how Mom had put up with us. Everything was a competition with us. I knew I needed to do this, and Tanzi didn’t want me to.

“Tanzi, I can’t do this without you.” I knew I was asking too much of her but it was true; I couldn’t face anything without her. She was like the ultimate sidekick, the ultimate wing woman. She was the left to my right, the night to my day. Without Tanzi, I was nothing, and I knew I couldn’t face the past without her.

“What’s going to happen when it blows up in your face and you are shattered into a thousand pieces? He isn’t a nice man, Tate. You have nothing to prove. You are not him.”

“Tanzi, I have to see it for myself.”

“I can’t deal with this shit. I will talk to you later. Do what you want, Tate. You are going to do whatever the hell you want anyway. Look at Sav. You knew I always had issues with you going near my friends and you go and knock her up. Tate does what Tate wants so why change now.”

She spun on her heel to leave but stopped dead in her tracks. Her gasp floated through the air. Sav had slipped into the room without either of us hearing, and by the look shadowing her face, she had heard Tanzi’s words. Placing a bag of groceries on the kitchen counter, Sav looked back at Tanzi with a look of hurt, confusion, and shock plastered all over her face. My heart raced at the words Tanzi had spat at me. I had no idea where they had come from. I’d thought she was happy about Sav and me. I’d thought she was the one who’d supported us the most.

“Tanzi, what do you mean by that?” Sav choked, her eyes darting between me and Tanzi while her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly. “I asked you if you had any issues with me and Tate. I would never have done anything with him if you weren’t happy about it.”

“I don’t have a problem with you, Sav. I have a problem with the whole issue.”

“Do not call our baby an issue, Tanzi. Think about what you are saying before you fire out shit like that.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Jellybean isn’t the issue., This whole fucked up thing is.”

“I am going to leave you two alone.” Sav’s words echoed through the room. I pulled my eyes from Tanzi and found Sav looking at the point of tears.

“I am leaving, Sav.”

“To hell you are, Tanzi. You need to sort whatever this is out. You two are my rocks and I can’t handle my two rocks colliding. I’ll go and hang out with Jack or go for a walk in the park. Please sort this is out. I want to have dinner tonight
—
the four of us.” Sav smiled weakly at both of us, and I could tell by the look on her face that her mind was racing. I rushed towards her and her eyes dropped to the floor. I hated when she lost her sassiness, and now, as I searched her face, it was running for the hills.

Pulling her towards me, I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist, trying so hard to provide her with comfort. “This is okay. I love you and I will see you when you get back,” I whispered into her hair. Sav nodded against me, and I leaned in to place a light kiss on her lips. Her eyes flickered between Tanzi and me briefly, and the feeling of regret flushed through me.