Broken (4 page)

After  a quick call to Bernard, Cameron now has 5 days worth of clothes for anything he may need while in Miami, even thou he whined like a spoiled child he now wears a grin. And Gus has Beauty tied to the end of the pier. We walk hand in hand down the grass towards the hill and to prove my earlier point I let go of Cam he is looking down at me head tilted with question in his eyes. “Watch” I whisper.. I run full throttle towards the pier I hit it hard pulling out about 4 cartwheels before ending in a fabulous round off and when I land my legs are spread wide hands straight up and I squeal “TADAHHH” laughing so hard I can’t even breathe I fill liberated to show him I AM NOT JUST TALK “ See I can walk the walk” ekkkkkkkk whoa WTH  the sky is spinning, what tha oh gah ooo haaa “CAMMMM put me down haha you scared me I was off kilter haa”  “WOW Lexi you just blow my mind at every corner! More water sports?” I can’t get a grip why am I laughing like a crazy hyena? “Oh I can’t breathe goofy you scared me and tickled me all at once” doubled over I let out a long giggle half sigh and upright myself, (GET A GRIP ALEXA) “yes more water sports it’s what we do in MAIMI BITCH. Gus is going with today because we will need a driver. Now vest up and make sure it’s tight. We are going to soar above the world.”

We spend hours strapped in our harness and soaring freely in the beautiful sky, free of our wonders and fears.
The enormous pink and black sail above us. We are hauling ass but up here it feels like time almost stands still.  The wind in our face and the only noises that reach us are the small hums of the boat motor. I hold my arms out like I have wings and close my eyes to enjoy the moment, and I feel Cam wrap his fingers around mine. I open my eyes just in time to see him coping my action and closing his eyes. He has the sweetest, kindest, most heavenly smile I’ve ever seen. After a long day in the sun we are drained. I’m thinking snack, nap, and RAVE. Tonight I want to give Cameron a real dose of my life.

We’re back inside this time at the formal dining table being anything but! Cameron’s sitting in a high back chair looking like a half naked king while I sit Indian style on the table right in front of him eating some fresh fruit from the same plate and downing water like it’s no one’s business. The sun was bright and the salt water drained us. My bed is screaming my name, we should be able to get at least a3-4 hour nap before getting ready to go out. “Val we are going to take a nap I should be up by 8, we’re going out so nothing heavy.” She nods in acknowledgement and up the stairs I drag Cameron. Man my bed is the best ever. Fresh satin sheets in bright red and zebra room smells of cashmere and freezing just the way I like it. Nothing better than lounging all weekend in a dark cold room snuggled up under heavy blankets!
  After pulling the dark curtains to the room went from mid afternoon to midnight. I turned on the radio which was on a slow jam station and I opted to leave it, why not start off with something sweet because after tonight he will likely run away from me and never look back. I still can’t get over the fun filled days & lazy nights feeding each other ice cream while watching old rerun nights we have shared, and to think it’s all about to end. Taking him back to the sky to end this the same way we started it was perfect.  Everything about him has been perfect.

Sliding my hand across the screen for my closet I am at a loss on what I want to wear,
Cam walks in AND gesh the boy is golden! His skin is glowing like a mummy’s tomb filled with jewels and right there on top is the genies lamp! He has on some dark distressed designer jeans, a pair of rugged leather flip flops, a long sleeved deep pink button up shirt (all from his new wardrobe) with the sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows & those EYES burning with lust and desire. Well if I can pick my tongue up off the ground my color choice for tonight was just made easier… typing in “leather” after a few clicks I open the door. He is ready and my hairs still in a towel uh I’m such a chick right now!

After digging around the leather I settle on a black skin tight leather skirt and a black/pink
mix  leather halter top that pretty much covers my boobs in a crisscross style and that’s it. Pairing it with a pair of thigh high HOT PINK leather boots , I make my way to the bathroom to flat iron my hair and jerk it into a  ponytail with a sparkly pink holder. THIS NIGHTS GONNA BE FUN! Now its Cams turn to drop his panties… we march to the garage I can’t help but smile.

Cam
is looking around the garage I assume for Gus. “Where’s the driver?” I let out a laugh laced in a sexy kitten purr. “Oh honey we aren’t in need of Gus tonight, I plan to stay sober to drive home so I thought we would take one of my favorite rides” I open the key box get the tiny key on a hot pink chain. As we start to trail past all the vehicles his eyes bug out as soon as he sees it. In the far corner sets my custom painted black Suzuki GSX1300 HayaBusa Bike. It’s trimmed in chrome and thin pink pin stripes. I fight myself to hold on because I HAVE to be in control but just seeing his eyes it’s like Christmas for the first time in an orphanage. HE has never seen anything like it! So I do what’s right & hand him the key. “O NOOO LEXI I AM NOT DRIVING THAT!!!”  I giggle and point out “1 yes you are, 2 your to big for the back and 3 I’m still the boss and I say YOU ARE besides if I sit in the front in a skirt my whooha will be plastered all over the internet before we reach the club” with almost zero push he grabs the keys jumps on kicks the stand up drags me over the bike by my arm and out of nowhere he is kissing me a fast but sweet kiss. “Lexi everything about you wows me, WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH do you need with a bike like this?”  Stunned I jerk back and look at him like he has a skinned cat on his head “Excuse me Cam? A bike like this? Opposed to what? A MIATA or maybe a MOPED!!!  Honey this BIKE runs up to 193 miles per hour and I told you once before I RIDE HARD & FAST! So why don’t you kick this bike in gear before I kick you in your ass ok thanks!!!” he looks at me for a second and I see the twinkle in his eyes “whatever you say baby. Hold on tight.” And he’s revving to life and sliding out into the air  CLUB DELSAYO here we come ….

Slinking across the dance floor with a neon glowing glass I am gyrating and sweating within minutes Cams face still glowing from the ride, where I decided to hold on probably didn’t help either, I couldn’t help it, no sex in days needless to say I am a little tight strung right now. I am so glad to be here ready to rave till the sun comes up. Cams not the best dancer BLESS HIM, he is a country boy and I don’t see any cowboy
boots insight. “Don’t worry cowboy, I’ll make you look good, we don’t line dance in Miami” his hands are around my neck and before I know it I’m struggling to keep from dropping my glass. I rub my body up and down him, grinding on his leg, with my head hung back. We couldn’t get any closer unless I possessed his body like Swayze did whoopee in ghost!  As I watch Cam jump around with his hands in the air, sweat dripping off his face I can’t help but feel pleased, an inner calm, whole even. It’s like he is just suppose to be near me, a part of me. We dance thru the night, a few times I’m lifted through the air and set back down uhh I know not to wear leather to  rave but I had to do it up  to show Cam the whole package!  Then the thought comes and I can’t push it out of my head. It’s time to take him home to show him the life you truly live the not so pleasant side; you have to set him free. And with these thoughts running through my head I can’t help but fight back tears because those things aren’t things I want to do to Cam. I can’t see chaining him to a board and clawing at his skin till he bleeds or begs me to stop, I can’t see caning him or whipping him, I can’t imagine the look in his eyes if I cussed him like the dog he is for being a man. It’s not his fault and yet I always want to hurt them. I know I can’t blame my past on the ideas but I wasn’t always like this I didn’t always get pleasure from a man’s pain. Cam has been nothing but perfect to me. Sweet, caring, and bringing out the best in me, things I haven’t done or felt in years. But I have to show him who I am and why he can leave soon and go home to Mississippi without ever blinking an eye. Now I am at the brink of tears just thinking about him leaving me. He has lit a fire in me that burnt out so long ago.

Walking out of the club I feel an unfamiliar hand reach around my waist from behind rubbing me against his raging hard on. I turn with a quickness with my right hand pulled in tight against my waist, palm up, fingers curled about to uppercut this shithead right in the nose and when I get fully turned I see it’s not necessary because Cam has him in a choke hold from behind “Apologize to my girl ass hole” he spits at the sweaty looking idiot. After the guy tries to jerk free a few times he struggles out a “So
..so..sorry” he is drunk his words are all jumbled but he is sober enough to know in one jerk Cam could rip his head off. The glint in his eye almost scares me. He chunks to guy to the side “Get out of here you piece of shit” grabbing my hand he pulls me through the door towards the bike. Still looking back at the guy crumpled on the ground I smile and hurry off with Cameron. I didn’t know my southern charmed love muffin had such a caveman complex. “Sorry Lexi but no man should ever put his hands on a woman without her permission. Especially mine.”

The ride home is extreme
Cam revs it up and we take off on the back wheel, I scream but as soon as it levels I giggle and tell him “Do it again!” Apparently Cam can drive anything on wheels, he manages with zero problems even thou it’s not really made for 2 riders.  As the house rolls into view I’ve pretty much made myself sick knowing what’s coming. But I have to do this. I have to stay strong I have to push him away I have to give us both a life we deserve. He has to go home and love a girl who deserves him, who can love him without all the underlined hate for his gender. I have to give him that much. I have to punish him and prove to myself these things I feel are nothing. It’s been just a few days with Cam and my whole world has been shifted. He has been the rainbow in my colorless world.

Man his body is BANGING. He is toned in all the right places. Muscles rippling at the skin as he hangs with his hands chained above his head. I can tell he is embarrassed hanging there with nothing on but a black blind fold. He is excited thou I can tell well actually I can see that he is, and man he is set like I want to rock
yo body  SET. I can’t help but run my hand up and down his length squeezing a few times for good measure. But as the man he is he holds his head high, planning to keep me happy.  I run my hands around his torso barely touching him with my nails but he moves quickly to the side when my nail dig deep he lets out a grunt. “ALEXA I trust you baby, Do your worst!”  And that my heart shatters, its already hard enough without him TRUSTING ME.. Seriously I’m barely able to do this as it is. “SHUT UP CAMERON, YOUR ONLY TO SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO, AND IN YOUR POSITION YOU’D DO WELL TO REMEMBER IT’S MISS CRUZ” I crack the whip jerking it back at the last second. Only the tip of the whip catches him but its enough to make him suck a deep breathe through his teeth. And a tear escapes the corner of my eye, it’s the same noise he makes when is sees me come in to the room. It’s his suddenly stunned noise.  The same sound I dream he would make when entering my body. It’s this exact moment I realize me and Cam have slept side by side off and on all week and he has never tried anything more than to just hold me. “OH FUCK MY LIFE, I CANT DO THIS” I scream. I jerk his blindfold off leaving him hanging. He sees me for the first time in my black leather cat suit. Whip in hand looking like Halle Berry in cat woman. My hair is in a long braid and I have on spiked stilettos that would castrate a man on contact.  His eyes pop out of his head as his eyes travel from head to toe and stopped dead in his tracks when he reaches my eyes. “Lexi baby let me down I need to touch you” I can’t hold it back anymore the thoughts are ripping at my brain, my limbs are numb, and I just want to scream ……… so……. I do. I lash out like a child refused their favorite candy, twisting violently with my head hung back screaming at him and the sky in unison.

“CAM YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM SO TIRED OF TRYING TO RUN YOU OFF, MY BODY ACHES AND MY HEAD SCREAMS, NOTHING MAKE SINCE WITH YOU HERE, YOU FUCK ME ALL UP. I WAS FINE WITHOUT YOU THEN YOU SHOW UP ACTTING ALL HAPPY AND DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT, AND HERE I HAVE YOU STRUNG UP ABOUT TO RIP YOU FULL OF SCARS FROM THE INSIDE OUT ALL YOU CAN SAY IS I TRUST YOU.. REALLY
CAM YOU TRUST ME? IM ABOUT TO SHRED YOUR CHEST TO THE POINT YOU CAN’T GO WITHOUT A SHIRT. THEN ONCE YOUR BODY IS IN SO MUCH PAIN I’D DROP THE CHAINS LET YOU FALL TO THE FLOOR AND HAVE MAY WAY WITH YOU ALL THE WHILE MAKING YOU PRETEND LIKE YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME.” I release the chains and his knees hit the floor almost as loud as the chains do. “Just get dressed and get the fuck out of my house, and don’t bother calling, texting, or anything else just live your life. Take the clothes and go I’m done” my body has deflated and I can’t think. I turn to leave; grabbing my cell I buzz Gus “Can you please see Mr. Thompson home Gus. And Gus this chapter is over.” A brief very gruff yes ma’am sounds and I hear a click. “Cam, Gus will be in the garage in about 5 minutes make sure you have everything,  don’t leave your wallet again or its going in the trash” he has his jeans on but not buttoned, shirt on but also not buttoned. He is so amazing to look at (I want to run my tongue up and down his firm stomach) and his eyes are glazed with pain. He is so confused, he is too innocent for this life he doesn’t deserve the abuse I would give him if he stayed, it couldn’t be all rainbows and unicorns forever. “Alexa..” he tries but my temper flares and I let out a nutcase ban chi scream punch the wall, flipping my hair, eyes bugging out, shaking from head to toe  “GO CAMERON I’M DONE CHAPTER IS FUCKIN OVER GET THAT…. DONE….THE END” after a minute that lasted about a decade he turns to leave.. Dragging his feet & then turns quick but I shoot him a death stare stopping him. He sees its over. “Good Bye Miss Cruz” & turns again, I hear from the hall way he mumbles “no wonder she’s alone, she’s so afraid” and like that he is gone. I hear the door click with finality and I crumble to the floor, broken again. Whatever was mending in my heart just ripped open again. When I wake up later I am covered in a blanket sprawled right where I fell. Valeria must have seen me, who knows what time it is, psht who fucking cares ….