Broken Lion (21 page)

Silence.

Shit.

This was not the way you went about a relationship. Not that this was a relationship, because I knew it wasn’t. It was “just friends” with secret benefits. I was cool with that. Or so I thought when this started. After Minka, I was never in a rush to jump into things with anybody, but Brigid had sucked me right in. I didn’t think she meant to, but it happened. For me, anyway. I wasn’t so sure about her. I knew there was a reason I hadn’t told her I loved her. This was it. The least you expected from someone you were fucking was that they were okay with being seen with you in public. Did that make me sound like a chick? Yes. Did I care? No, because I never cared what other people thought.

It’s not about you, Lion!
Minka’s voice, pissed.
You have to learn to take life as it comes, not control every single moment of it. Sometimes you don’t get what you want. If you can’t make peace with that, you’ll go nuts and you’ll never be happy.

When she’d said that, I was used to having everything always go my way. When I went after something, I got it. Being undefeated in the cage added to that sense of entitlement. But that didn’t stop the hurt when Minka left me. She was my biggest defeat in life. Her leaving had hurt a thousand times more then tearing my ACL. I didn’t want to go through that shit again with anybody, and I didn’t want to set myself up for a fall with Brigid. I was ready to pull out and end this. But there was one last thing to ask.

Carefully, I said, “Is it because of the doctor patient thing?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “You know I can’t be seen with you now that we’re…”

A confusion of emotions bounced through my body. Why did I feel like a loser when she confirmed what I already suspected? I grunted, finishing her sentence for her, “Fucking,” I wasn’t going to say making love or some sappy shit like that. Not now. I was closing down. Time to bail out of this before it got any worse.

“That’s right,” she snorted and not in a happy way, “fucking.”

I squished my palm against my face and cringed. I was glad we were doing this on the phone. “This is my fault, Brigid. I’m sorry. We should have… I mean, I never should have—”

“I’m an adult, Lion. I made my own choices. They may not have been wise ones, but I made them.”

That stung. “Do you regret them?” I shouldn’t have asked that. I didn’t want to know.

“No.” Her voice was flat.

I couldn’t read her. Not over the phone. “Do you not want to do this anymore?”

“I don’t know.”

Fuuuuuuuuck.

I leaned back on the couch and shook my head. All I’d wanted to do when I called was take her to dinner. Could I get a do over?

I was about ready to end the call when inspiration hit. I was going to put everything on the line because sometimes you had to put up or shut up. “Do you want to end this, Brigid? Yes or no? If you do, I’ll hang up right now and you’ll never see me again.”

“What? No! I mean yes! I mean, I don’t want to end this! Why are you even asking?!”

“Just making sure we’re on the same page.” My hands were shaking like crazy. I knew things were still on the knife edge of ending, like she might change her mind the second she got off the phone and thought about it. I had to act fast. “Would you have dinner out with me if nobody knew it was us?”

“If you’re suggesting we go to a masked ball or something equally Shakespearean, I suppose so.” There was humor in her voice and it was a huge relief for me. “But I don’t know of any masked balls coming up.” She paused. “And don’t make any jokes about
your
balls wearing one of those lace masquerade masks.”

“One? I would need two. One for each,” I chuckled. I loved her sense of humor and I loved she was making jokes. That was a good sign.

“I refuse to picture the image of laughing and crying theater masks on your balls when you pull your pants off.” She laughed happily. It was damn good to hear.

“I won’t picture it either. But that wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“That’s a surprise.”

“You have to at least tell me what to wear.”

“Irish, you can wear any damn thing and you will always be the hottest woman I’ve ever seen.”

“What if I wear a wooden barrel?”

“Smokin’ hot.”

“A bear costume?”

“Twice as hot.”

“Don’t tell me you’re one of those furries into costumed animal sex.”

“No. I like you
au naturel
. But seeing you in a bear costume would be totally worth it.”

She laughed loud and long, totally relaxed.

I was too.

What a relief.

Chapter 24

BRIGID

It was Tuesday night, the night of our secret surprise date.

Thankfully, I wasn’t on call. Donald had Daniel, so I was free and clear for the evening. If I so chose, I could spend the night with Lion. I had never done it, but I liked the idea. Maybe tonight was the night.

If everything went well.

I would have to wait and see.

The restaurant was all the way over in West Hollywood, which was quite a drive in traffic. It was tucked away on a side street in an old brick building between a dentist office and an auto mechanic. Odd, but not unusual for this part of town. Red vested valets waited on the sidewalk. One opened my door and I handed him my valet key. He climbed in and drove off. That’s when I noticed the name of the restaurant. It was written on the front door in hard to read thin gold script:

Naked Sensations.

What?

When we’d made plans, Lion had only given me the address. When I plugged it into my GPS, it didn’t bring up a business name. Just the map location.

Naked Sensations sounded like a sex club.

Was this the sort of thing that would
not
get us noticed together? When the police raided the place and arrested everybody, our mugshots would be all over the internet. The headline would read:

LION MAXWELL ARRESTED IN SEX CLUB WITH DR. BRIGID FLANAGAN!! WHIPS, CHAINS, RED BALL GAG AND SEX SWING INVOLVED! REPORTS OF ASS HAMSTERING UNCONFIRMED. DON’T WORRY FOLKS, HER MEDICAL LICENSE HAS BEEN REVOKED!!

Now I knew why Lion told me to wear something that was easy access. My flowy ruffled Georgette dress with a deep V-neck definitely qualified. It was minty green to match my eyes. I had just bought it this morning at bebe. Now Lion was never going to see it. I couldn’t believe he invited me to a sex club!

What was Lion thinking?

What was I thinking?

I needed to get out of here!

I waved at the valet, trying to stop him before he drove off with my car. Too late. He was long gone. I slumped. I’d have to wait until he came back. I folded my arms across my chest.

Did I really want to be standing in front of a sex club where anyone could see me? Nope. I turned to walk up the sidewalk. At least I wore my movie star sunglasses. Hopefully no one would recognize me.

“Brigid? Is that you?”

I cringed and froze in place. I didn’t have to turn to recognize the smarmy British accent. Dr. Ivan Hackett.

He walked up behind me. “Brigid?”

I didn’t turn around. I wanted to run but I was paralyzed with guilt.

He stepped around in front of me. “It is you. Fancy meeting you here. What brought you round to West Hollywood?”

“Nothing!”
I’m not here for the sex! Or the club!
“Just passing by!”

“I saw you give your car to the valet.”

I was a deer caught in headlights. “I’m going to the dentist next door?”

“In that dress?”

“Yes! I always dress up for the dentist! Don’t you?”

“Not really.” His disbelief was palpable.

“Ha ha ha! Everyone in America dresses up for the dentist! You Brits and your casual ways!”

“Mmm, not so much.”

“How would you know? You weren’t born here!”

“Lived here ten years.”

“Ha ha ha! That doesn’t count!” I was insane. Insanely guilty. I needed to run for it before Lion showed up and Ivan caught us together red handed and red faced.

“You’re certainly acting very odd this afternoon, Brigid. Is everything all right?”

I shrugged like an insane mime, which meant every mime, because they were all insane. Like me. If you can’t picture it, I was slowly tipping sideways like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Any second I was going to topple to the ground and shatter into a million pieces.

He smirked, “You aren’t really going to the dentist, are you?”

Terrible liar that I was, I was in such conflict that I shook my head and nodded it at the same time, making a wobbling circle, all while smiling guiltily.

“So you
did
come for the dentist.”

Wobble, wobble, circle, circle.

“Naked Sensations?”

Wobble, circle.

“The dentist.”

Wobble.

“Naked Sensations?”

Circle.

“Brigid, are you being cheeky with me?”

Was he talking about my cheeks? Because they ached like crazy from maintaining this goofy guilty smile.

Circle, circle, wobble, wobble.

He chuckled, “Which is it, Brigid?”

“Okay, fine! I’m here for Naked Sensations!” That felt so much better. Guilt hurt and was best avoided. The truth will set you free.

“Shall I presume you’re meeting someone? Or going it alone?”

“No! I mean yes!” So much for the truth. It was a nuisance. But that didn’t stop me from wanting to shout:
I am meeting my former patient Lion Maxwell at a sex club! Can you guess why? Ha ha ha ha!!!!
Wait, was Hackett here for the sex club too? If he was, then that meant I had some dirt on him. That gave me some relief. Confidently, I said, “I came alone. Alllll alone. Just me. Coming alone.” I cringed. Why had I said coming? Or alone? Would he now assume I came here to watch other people while I masturbated? People like him? Gross! Or was I expected to join in the fun? Was that how these sex clubs worked?

“Oh that’s bold,” he chuckled.

“Is it?” I tittered.

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.” He smiled indulgently. “What they do here is… well, it’s indescribable.”

“HAHAHA!!”
I’m sure it is!

He frowned.

“Sorry.”

“Anyway, I’ve been telling my sister about this place for months. Finally convinced her to come and share the experience with me.”

Your sister?!?!

Shut the front door!!!!

A beautiful woman walked up in a white lace dress that left nothing to the imagination. She was obviously Ivan’s sister based on her eyes and the shape of her face. “There you are, Ivan.”

“Nadya, this is my colleague Dr. Brigid Flanagan.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Nadya smiled at me. Like Ivan, she was tall, slender, and had dark hair, but his was short and thick while hers was long and luxuriant. Also like him, she belonged on a calendar. In her case, a swimsuit calendar. She would be
Get Freaky with your Sister February.
“Have you been to Naked Sensations before, Brigid?”

“NO!!”
And I’m never going to either!
I sounded insane. “Hahaha. Ha. Ha.” My laugh puttered out. “Ha.”

Nadya looked slightly confused. “Ivan has been telling me about Naked Sensations for months. Said I simply must try it. I’ve heard the food is to die for.” She hooked her arm around Ivan’s elbow. It looked absolutely wrong. In most states, illegal. Most, but not all. Which ones, I wasn’t sure, but definitely here in California.

He patted her hand and smiled at her. “Shall we, sis?”

Sis? Oh, goodness. They sure did things differently in the UK!

Nadya smiled seductively, “We shall.”

Ivan winked at me, “Make sure you have the dessert. It’s the best part.”

Dessert? What was dessert? Cherry pie? Cream muff? Cum filled éclairs? Or the old standby: a banana hammock split?

They strolled into Naked Sensations without looking back.

Where was that damn valet?! I needed to leave pronto!

My phone buzzed in my purse.

Lion: Are you there?

I furiously texted back:
Are you crazy?

Lion: Crazy for you.

Me: What were you thinking inviting me to a sex club?

Lion: It’s not a sex club.

Me: The hell it isn’t!

Lion: Trust me. It’s not a sex club. Go inside like we agreed. I’m parked a few blocks away. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Make sure you’re inside before I arrive.

Me: I’m not going anywhere near that place!

Lion: It’s not a sex club. I promise.

Me: What is it then?

Lion: Would you quit worrying and trust me? I would never do anything bad to you. I promise.

I didn’t respond. I needed time to process. I hadn’t told Lion that I really liked him. I had told him the sex was incredible. But I hadn’t gone on to say it was all I could ever want or hope for from sex. And I wanted to have it again and again with him and him alone for a long, long time. But this whole doctor patient thing was a serious problem. We couldn’t be seen in public. Certainly not where my boss could see me with my patient!

Me: I can’t do this.

Lion: Why not?

Me: Dr. Hackett is here. Your doctor. Remember him?

Lion: I think we’ll be okay.

Me: You think?

Lion: Do you want to do this another night? We can if you want.

Me: I don’t want to do a sex club any night!

Lion: Irish, it ain’t a sex club. And I’m 99% sure you won’t have to worry about Hackett. But we can always do this some other time.

How about in six months or a year? When this didn’t look nearly as bad? I sighed. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to be trapped in secrecy with the man I… had strong feelings for.

Me: Do they have private booths?

Lion: Better.

Me: What could be better? Is ours on the moon?

Lion: No. Trust me.

Me: Fine. I’ll go inside. But if I see Hackett, I’m leaving.

Lion: Deal. See you in 15.

I stuffed my phone in my purse and took my ladyballs in hand. Nobody was going to tell me how to live my life.