Broken Spell (11 page)

Boulder is critical. Like, in a coma, breathing through respirators, critical.

I was talking to him a few hours ago. He was opening up, maybe for the first time in his life. I know he never spoke to Sean so candidly.

Sean. He’s taking the news worse than anyone. He cannot stop pacing the room, running his hands through his hair, and biting his knuckles.

Priscilla has cried herself out. She just stares numbly at the wall. Skye has her arms around her, but Pri doesn’t seem to notice it.

Sean continues his restless routine. He looks like he’s having a panic attack. They just gave Boulder’s mother a sedative. Maybe I should ask for some for Sean, too.

I’m trying to come to terms with the situation. I’m on the verge of losing my best friend.

Being back in a hospital is torture. I’m starting to hate these places with a passion.

Something comes over me, and I punch the wall.

A nurse comes over and whispers, “Please don’t do that. It upsets everyone. Are you hurt?”

I shake my head. The truth is, my hand is on fire. Something may be broken.

The nurse casts a long glance at me
, but leaves.

Skye comes over. “Is your hand okay?”

“Yes,” I say, gritting my teeth. The throbbing pain is intense, but I welcome it. It distracts me from everybody else’s pain.

“I’m so sorry about Boulder.” Skye hugs me.

With my head buried in her hair, I say in a low voice, “I’ve been so worried about witches and magic hurting one of you that I’ve never thought… I’ve never expected that
life
would end up screwing us.”

She runs her fingers through my hair. “Me neither.”

“Sorry I snapped at you.”

“No worries.”

We keep hugging, not uttering another word.

It’s going to be a long night.

***

The next day, the doctors finally allow visits. We’re given a few pointers: we can only be there for a short while, no more than two at a time. They warn us to not be distressed by his condition. Boulder’s injuries are mostly internal, but the stitches on his face and arms might upset a visitor.

“Can we talk to him?” I ask.

“Sure,” the doctor says. “Please do.”

While Boulder’s parents go in, I ask Priscilla, “Do you want to come with me?”

She shakes her head. “I’ll go tomorrow, by myself.”

“I’ll go with you,” Sean says.

Boulder’s parents come back. His mother, Diana, has her head buried in her husband’s chest. Jeff, a mountain of a man, has the distant, unfocused stare of someone beaten.

I look away. I don’t want to intrude on their pain.

Everybody feels guilty about Boulder: me, Sean, Pri, his parents for giving him permission to have the party. I bet even the
keymaster feels rotten.

When it’s our turn, we cross the double automatic doors and enter a world of machines humming and whiteness. It feels like heaven’s waiting room. I shake off the thought.

We find Boulder’s room. Seeing him, even with all the warnings, is still a shock. His eyes are closed. A tube goes into his mouth, and another into his nose. His arm is connected to the IV.

Sean just stares at him, his lips quivering.

Boulder’s face is pale, making the wounds, red and black, even more distinctive. He looks lifeless. He, who was so much larger than life.

Is
, Drake. Not
was
. Is.

He’s smaller, somehow. Not only smaller. Small. Fragile, weak. I’d never thought someone would use these words to describe Boulder.

I can’t stand staring at him. I look out of the window. On the streets, lights move. Cars move, people move. How can they keep moving as if nothing had happened? Don’t they know Boulder is fighting for his life?

The never-ending rain streaks the window. The steady beep
, beep of the machines unnerves me. I take short breaths. I need to do something.

“Hey, big man.” My voice sounds different. Alien. “Can you hear me?” Some part of me expects him to open his eyes right away. But he doesn’t.

“Listen. Everything’s fixed now. You can come back. We’re waiting for you.”

Sean nods and moves to grasp Boulder’s forearm in a brotherly gesture.

I just can’t make myself touch him. It would make it real. As long as it feels like a dream, it’s going to be all right. I can wake up, and everything will be fine.

Sean turns to me. “Is it okay if I talk to him alone?”

“Of course.” To Boulder, I say, “Hang in there, big man.”

I leave my best friends alone.

Night has fallen a long time ago. The quietness of the hospital is almost eerie.

Earlier tonight, Sean’s parents and Drake’s father came to check on Jeff and Diana. Fremont’s principal and Greenwood’s football coach visited, and a bunch of students from both schools stopped by or called. The Weird Sisters came, and Greta wept in a corner.

Now most of them have gone home. In the ICU waiting room, Priscilla and I stayed. In silence. Jeff sits on the other side of the large room, staring at the wall. Diana and a friend of hers went downstairs to the cafeteria to bring Jeff something to eat.

I’m relieved that Brianna is in another hospital, in another ICU. It would be awkward to explain my presence (and Greta’s and Yara’s) to the Sisters guarding Brianna. Not to mention I’d feel suffocated by so many energy signatures in one place.

Priscilla hasn’t talked since she saw Boulder this afternoon. I don’t know what to say to her. I’m starving, and I’m sure Priscilla must be too. We haven’t slept for a long time either. But none of this matters to me. I just want to make sure she’s well.

But she doesn’t look well.

At first, the staff would ask us if we needed something and made sure we knew visiting time was over. Now the nurses come and go, barely looking at us. Jeff remains undisturbed as well. Maybe they realize we need space. They must have seen this many times before.

After half an hour, Priscilla stands up and walks into the hallway, away from the waiting room. There she finds another waiting area. She sits down on a couch. I walk behind her and sit by her side.

She rests her head on my shoulder. In a tentative gesture, I brush her hair with my fingers, like Mum used to do to me when I was sick or sad. Priscilla doesn’t complain, so I keep doing it.

But I can hear her breathing harder and harder, and after a few minutes a sob escapes her.

“He’ll…die. And it’s my fault.”

“Oh, no, Pri. That’s not true!”

She buries her head in my chest. “It is. He saw us. Sean and me.”

“It was an accident.”

“He saw us. And…I wanted him to see.” She cries freely now, and I let her.

“Pri…”

“I did! I wanted to hurt him. And I have no idea why.”

I try to choose my words carefully. “Of course you do, Pri. You like him.”

Her sobs stop at last. She finally raises her head and faces me, tears streaking down her face. “I hurt him because I like him? That’s not how it works.”

I remove a strand of hair stuck to her cheek. “That’s exactly how it works, Pri. He pissed you off. You wanted to piss him off right back. Because you care.”

She just stares at me. Her crying comes back, softer this time.

“He likes you too, you know?” I say.

Her nod is so subtle I almost miss it. “Skye, this is no better. Did I play with his feelings? Is that why he is there now?”

“No, no. Stop blaming yourself. Boulder is great, but he’s unpredictable too. He overreacted, as always. It was an accident.”

“That I caused.”

“No!” My voice is louder than hospital etiquette allows. I whisper to her. “Look at me. Repeat: it was an accident.”

She shakes her head.
Pri’s face is naked. No eye shadow, eyeliner, lipstick, mascara. Maybe I’m seeing her as Drake saw me when Jane stole my Allure: still herself, but reduced to her essence. Sometimes we hide behind masks, clothes, and attitudes; other times we conceal emotions. Priscilla today looks genuine in appearance and behavior. I like this truer version of her. Even though she’s hurting.

“Say it,” I whisper, but my tone is stern.

“It was an accident,” she says, looking guilty for having said it.

“There. It’ll pass. He likes you, and you like him. When he gets out, you can bicker or you can date. Or both.”

“If—”

“
When
he gets out. I’m not just saying it. He’s the strongest guy I know,” I say.

She nods. It’s a lie, but at this moment we both need to believe it.

I offer her a box of tissues from the side table.

Priscilla wipes her face. Her breathing is steadier now. “Maybe I knew it; I just didn’t want to admit it.”

“He gave you very non-subtle hints.” My tone is lighter.

“True. Subtlety is not his strength. I just didn’t want to mess it up. Do you know how sometimes…the possibility is better than the real thing?”

“What do you mean?”

Her hands make a helpless gesture. “If we tried to date and we screwed it up—that’d be gone. I preferred not to know. Do you understand?”

“I do,” I say. I really do.

“I was too hard on him.”

“No. You did what you thought was right. You were true to yourself. At the spa, you said to me you didn’t want to be attached, remember? That’s the real you. Don’t apologize for being yourself.”

After a while, she goes to the restroom. She comes back with a clean face and red but calm eyes. She sits by my side.

“Thanks,” she says.

I shrug.

“No, I mean it. To listen to me like that—”

“Come on, you were there for me when I was humiliated at school, when Mum had the heart attack, when I screwed up with Drake… I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you. But in a way I’m glad I can pay you back.”

She says, “You do have much more drama in your life, don’t you?”

I’m glad to see her out of her funk. “Want to go home now?”

“Can we stay just for a little while? I’m too tired to drive.”

She leans her head on my shoulder again. I go back to brushing her hair with my fingers. My eyes are heavy. Soon she’s breathing deeply.

I wake up a little after four in the morning. I make a pillow with my jacket and let Priscilla’s head slide over it. I find a comfortable chair and go back to sleep.

***

“But Drake, I want to stay,” I plead.

He shakes his head. “Boulder’s condition hasn’t changed for a week. You’ve been here with me—”

“And me,” Priscilla interrupts.

“—every day,” Drake finishes. “I mean, what’s the point in Pri and I taking turns if you stay with all of us?
You
are not taking a break. It’s not fair.”

“Come on, that’s the least I can do. Boulder and I are not close, but he’s my friend too.”

Pri puts her hand on my shoulder. “We’re here. His parents too. And Sean. You’ve been doing enough. More than enough. I wish Boulder could see you.” Her mouth smiles, but her eyes don’t follow suit. She struggles to contain tears.

“Do me a favor,” I say. “You tell him that when he wakes up. I want all the credit.”

Priscilla gives a subdued chuckle, more out of sympathy than anything, but at least she doesn’t cry again.

Drake squeezes Priscilla’s hand. “So it’s settled. Pri, Sean, and I will keep coming here after school, and you’ll support us from home.”

They’ve been doing it every day. I’ve heard whispers that they are doing it out of guilt more than anything, but it’s just not true. They really love the big guy.

***

Before I leave the hospital, Priscilla grabs me by the arm. “Let’s have a coffee,” she says.

We buy our beverages at the Starbucks stand next to the cafeteria and walk outside to one of the secluded benches in the garden.

“We didn’t finish our conversation at the party,” she says.

I’m glad that we have this moment for ourselves. I need to get something off my chest.

“Pri, sorry I haven’t been there for you,” I say.

She looks at me, puzzled. “You’re helping me a lot.”

“But before… Pri, with the new school and dating Drake, I was overwhelmed. I’m not looking for excuses. What I’m trying to say is that I should have handled everything better.”

“No, no. I get it, really. You have a new boyfriend. That is time-consuming.” She tries to smile, but still has a down expression.

“I was just an idiot. I had a boyfriend before, but then I didn’t have friends. I messed up. Sorry.”

“Well, you did find time for the Weird Sisters.” She looks away.

“Oh, Pri. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ve been an ass, haven’t I?”

“What do you see in them, anyway?”

I cannot tell Pri they’re witches. I go with yet another lie. “I’m just trying to make friends. I don’t have many, you know. And they like the same new age stuff I’m into…”

She takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I’ll make up for it, I promise.”

She hugs me all of a sudden. “You already did. You got me through these last few days.”

“But you just said—”

“I just told you how I felt because we’re okay again. You made it okay. I just thought you should know how I was feeling.”

“It’ll never happen again. We’re BFFs, remember?” I hug her tight.

I hear a chuckle. I hope it’s a sign that everything will be all right between us.