Broken (The Outsiders Series) (14 page)

15

When I get back to school on
Monday, I find out that I have no classes with Anne Marie. At least, not in the morning. And by the time lunch rolls around, I have to play it cool for Vani. She made me promise not to do anything stupid. And I’m going to keep that promise – but only while she’s there to make me keep it.

“So
, who are Anne Marie’s new friends?” I ask Lane when Vani gets up to grab some ketchup.

Lane finishes chewing on her fry. “I think they’re a couple of sophomores or something. Whoever they are, they’re desperate enough to want to be important. They’re lame if you ask me,” she says with an eye roll.

“Did anything happen to you today?” I ask her.

She shakes her head. “Brooke and Ryan came up to me. They told me that I was on the list for social suicide. I can see it. People don’t really talk to me in classes anymore, but that’s fine with me.”

“But Anne Marie hasn’t tried anything.”

“I don’t think Brooke would let her. But if it came down to it, Brooke would shove me under the bus for
the sake of her popularity.”

“I don’t understand the importance of all of it,” I say.

“The importance of what?” Vani asks as she sits back down.

“Sine and Cosine,” Lane says
with fake enthusiasm.

Vani laughs. “He’s so much easier in the fall. I feel bad for both of you.”

We talk about our new classes until the bell rings. Then, we head off to our third block classes. Vani and I have Spanish while Lane has French. Her classroom is right next to ours so we walk together. Lane pulls Vani in the girl’s bathroom and I’m forced to stand by the lockers to wait. I’m not bored, though, because Anne Marie walks by me.

“Carter,” she says when she stops for a moment, “I promise you that I will bring you down. You came here and
ruined everything for me. That little PowerPoint photo stunt was just the beginning. Believe me. I have so much more.”

“Good, Anne Marie. It’ll give you something to focus on. I know that academics are just too much for your little brain,” I say as I wave goodbye. I turn my head, hoping that the girls will come out shortly.

But Anne Marie’s not finished because Todd walks over. He pushes me against the lockers and people begin to stop. “Don’t talk to her like that, loser. She’s better than you’ll ever be. And have you done it with Vandelya yet, Carter? I bet she’s a virgin too. Nice and...”

He doesn’t get to finish because Mr. Preston pulls him off of me. Todd takes a couple steps back and runs into a few
guys.

“Todd, you’ve been in one fight this year. It almost cost you that C in my class. Think before you try it again. This time, you might not be able to pull up your grade, Todd.” He turns to me and stares me down. “Don’t let their words change you, Carter. You’re a brave soul, and one that deserves the respect that people like him are trying to take away.
Now get to class,” he says.

Just then, the girls come o
ut, and I can nod respectfully. I didn’t really want to tell him that I had to wait here, not when he just saved me from kicking Todd’s ass.

Immediately, both girls ask me what happened. When I tell them, they’re mad, of course, but they’re also happy that I didn’t have to hit Todd. Neither of them wants to be left alone.

And Spanish class is worthless to me. I’d been decently fluent for a while, because there were a lot of Spanish people in my neighborhood. The only way I was going to have friends out there was to hang out with them. They were the guys that helped me deal with a lot of the crap that I was going through. And sitting here, analyzing the parts of speech while trying to write proper sentences wasn’t doing it for me. Part of me wanted to switch to Italian or something so that I would have some difficulty. But Vani was here and I could help her when she needed me.

After Spanish i
s finished, we walk to SAT Prep. I have to admit. I’m pretty excited about this class. Before, I didn’t really plan on going to college. I felt like I had to stay home and take care of my mom, watch out for her. But I’m free of all of that junk now. And college is one of the things I’m thinking about. That and my future with Vani. Because she’s definitely a part of it now.

When we walk in, I come face-to-face with Mr. Preston. This is definitely familiar. And when other people start walking in the room, including Anne Marie and Ryan, I realize that these are the same students
that were in English.

“Why does it feel like we’re in fourth period all over again, Vani?”

She looks up at me. “SAT Prep is the second half of junior English. I guess you didn’t seem surprised that we had it together. I thought you knew.”

I sigh and move to take my seat at the back of the room. “I guess I’ll see you later,” I say as I walk away from her.
When I sit down, I move my desk over so that I can see her sitting there.

She’s taking out her pencils and stuff, and I start taking mine out too. Mr. Preston is just beginning to pass out our syllabus when he’s interrupted by a knock on the door. He opens it to find Lane. She’s breathing hard and holding up her schedule so that he can see it.

“You’re going to have to go to the stock room to grab another desk, Ms. Prescott. And can I ask you before you go, why did your English class change to this one?”

Lane makes a come here motion with her finger and stands on her toes to whisper the answer to him. He nods and calls one of the kids in the front up. He tells them to go with Lane so that she can grab a desk. When they leave, he starts
talking again.

Vani looks back at me with a questioning
look. What could be the reason for Lane switching classes this soon? And then it hits me. Brooke.

And w
hen class is over, Vani and I practically corner Lane.

“What did she do to you?” I ask Lane.

Lane swallows and shrugs. She kicks the locker that we’re standing by. “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” she asks us.

Vani sighs. “I know a place where we can go,” she says. And together, we make the long walk to Jeb’s house. He grabs us some chips and sweet tea. Then, he leaves us alone to talk.

“She threatened me,” Lane says. She blushes, somehow ashamed of what happened. “She caught me in the halls when I ran an errand for Madame Franconia, and she told me not to show up in SAT Prep…or else. I didn’t want to find out what the ‘or else’ was.”

Vani reaches out. “I’m sorry that Anne Marie has turned your best friend against you,” she says.

“I can’t believe you had to deal with me all those years,” Lane says before she bursts into tears. Next thing I know, they’re both crying and hugging and apologizing.

When they’re done, I confide in them. I tell them about how I’ve been planning on ending Anne Marie’s rule over the school.
They seem to be hesitant about it at first, but I tell them that it will be a long process, especially since she’s already recruited more evil and stupid employees. Lane’s feelings get hurt when I say that, but she knows it’s true. She was under Anne Marie’s popularity spell once too.

“So what are we going to do?” she asks.

“Expose her true nature so that they can all see what she’s like.”

“How do we do that?” Vani adds.

“Wait patiently for her to screw something up,” I state.

Lane chews the inside of her cheek. “She doesn’t screw up, Carter. She gets her girls to do most of it.”

“We’ll figure it out,” I say.

---

The next afternoon, Vani and I escape. I let her take me into the woods. Her hand is in mine, pulling me to her favorite place. And I follow her willingly. Because just being there with her makes me happier. Because the place doesn’t just belong to her anymore. The pond and field belong to us now.

We walk over the dead grass, and I can’t wait until it warms up. I want to see it in the spring. Vani described it to me once. She said that there are hundreds of wildflowers
growing in grass that comes up to your thighs. She said it was the tallest grass she’s ever seen.

Around the pond, moss and clover fill in the spots where there’s now dirt. Dandelions grow around the log. And sometimes, she’s seen deer.

“I think that spring will come early this year,” she says as we get closer to the log. She sits down and pats the spot next to her before turning to look over the pond. A few fish splash around. It’s kind of like they’re welcoming her back.

“I hope so,” I say as I sit next to her. I pull her over so that she’s leaning against me. We sit like that for a while. Silent and free out here.

“I never told you about my brother,” Vani says sometime later. “His name was Tanner, and he was two years older than me.”

I turn and look into her eyes. She sits up and looks at me. Her green eyes are serious and stormy. I lift my hand and push her hair behind her ear, like I always do.

“Tanner and my dad were close,” she starts. “He couldn’t take it. After my dad’s death, he quit football and high school. He dropped out. And then, he started drinking. He was out one night, drunk like my dad had been, and he lost control. He ran into a tree. And he was gone, just like that.”

Wow. This is just too much for one person to handle. How does she do this?

Vani looks up at me. “It took me a long time to cry about it. I felt like there was something wrong with me. It was the lowest part of my life, and I welcomed the bullying. It made me feel something, and feeling was better than the emptiness that held me.”

I wipe the tears that fall down her cheeks. “Vani,” I start to say.

“I’m not finished, Carter.” She offers me a weak smile, and I nod once. She pulls in a deep breath before continuing.

“
Jeb helped me. He woke me up, snapped me out of the spell I was in. He took care of me, and one day, when I was walking through the woods after an especially bad day at school, I found the pond. Something about it healed me, and I felt whole.”

“No wonder why you love it so much,” I muse.

She laughs. “And now,” she says, “I have you.”

I look down at her. “No,” I say. “I have you.”

She smiles and looks at me through her lashes. A faint blush crosses her cheeks before she takes a deep breath. “I think I’m falling in love with you, Carter. And I’m not scared.” She looks back up, with her green eyes shimmering and her lips smiling.

My heart races and I can’t hold back anymore. I take her face in my hands and press my lips against hers. She’s frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. So I run my thumb along her jaw in an attempt to relax her. I want this first kiss to be perfect for both of us. And when I pull back, she looks up at me. I smile before bending down to kiss her one more time. She smiles, accepting my kiss, but pushes me back
afterward.

“Sorry,” I say.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that, Vani.”

“Was I okay at it?” she asks
quietly.

I watch her cheeks flush. “
You have no idea how good you were, do you?” And I have to stop myself from telling her how soft her lips are, how sweet they taste, and how they fit perfectly against mine. Instead, I just run my fingers through her hair. There’s no way I’m going to scare her off now.

“You need to know that I’ve never been with a guy in any way,” she whispers a little while afterward.

“I don’t care about that, Vani.”

She throws a sideways glance my way. I can almost hear her saying ‘yeah, right’.
So, to make her believe me, I tell her the truth about me.

“I’ve never been with a girl. I’ve only ever made out with girls.”

She looks over at me this time. Her eyes are large and disbelieving.

“Think about it, Vani. Why would I ever want to be with a girl? I have only ever seen violence and hatred come from love.”

She sighs and leans her head on my shoulder. “Sorry,” she says. “You didn’t have to tell me all that stuff. I know it’s your personal business.”

“It’s your business too, you know.”

“I’ll remember it for later,” she says jokingly. But the later part has got my mind buzzing. That means that she thinks we’ll be together that long. And it means that she sees herself really falling in love. At least, she sees herself falling in love enough for something more than kissing. And I’m not really disgusted by the idea right now. In fact, it’s all I can think about. Because, let’s face it, Vani’s hot.

16

We spend the next several weeks searching for a way to take Anne Marie down. I keep thinking that it’ll happen soon, but it doesn’t. And even though Lane has an in, since she knew Anne Marie pretty well, there’s no way we can figure out what she’s going to do next. Or even to which one of the three of us.

One time, pictures of Lane and I hooking up – both times – were posted all over the internet. A few of them were posted in the locker rooms and bathrooms, but we were able to pull them down quickly. Anne Marie was just trying to hurt Vani, and it worked a little bit, but she got over it fast. Especially when she thought about why they were posted around school and all.

I mean, we did fight about it. Neither of us told Vani about our hook ups. But it was my responsibility to tell her. I think she was just embarrassed because she wasn’t prepared for it. At all.

Another time, a lunch tray fell on Lane. Vani made sure
Lane held her tears in until they snuck off campus to clean up. But after that, Lane wasn’t the same girl. She walks around in jeans and shirts. She’s not wearing those skirts and dresses anymore. She doesn’t want the attention anymore. In fact, she kind of dresses like Vani does.

When they tried again – since they knew how much it affected her – I was there to stop it. The tray went smashing back into some random kid’s chest. He wasn’t smart enough to hold the tears in.

And the girls were still pushing Vani around. They stopped her in the locker rooms during PE. They tried to lock her in the bathrooms during class breaks and stuff. And they even vandalized her locker with pictures of onions and crap.

Turns out, that was the wrong thing to do. Because a couple kids took them out of the trash and taped them up on Anne Marie’s locker. That was her almost screw up. But people still thought it was funny. No one really started to take Vani’s side. No, they were still scared it would happen to them. And they just kept on watching it.

Other than all of the school crap, work and Vani were going just fine. Vani and I spent every afternoon in the field. We were getting it ready for spring by pulling weeds and tilling the soil. We even brought out some birdseed and stuff. And each day, I fell more and more in love with her. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her that I loved her. Something inside of me wanted to wait until this epic moment. But we never had one with our first kiss or first date. And both ended up perfect.

The day after we put the birdseed out, I lost it. And I mean big time.

When I walk in SAT Prep that afternoon, I notice that Vani’s not there. She was supposed to go to the bathroom with Lane. Some girl emergency. It freaked me out so I left them to their own devices.

I look around the room.
I notice that Lane isn’t in the classroom either. And up in the front, Anne Marie and a couple of her friends are whispering about something excitedly.

Something is wrong.

“Can I get a female volunteer to go find out where our two girls are?” Mr. Preston asks as he checks roll.

Anne Marie’s hand shoots up first, and he sends her.
I have to force myself not to walk out or cuss Mr. Preston out – and I don’t cuss…almost ever.

I sit there, ignoring everything that Mr. Preston says. My fingers tap on the desk while I wait for them.

Anne Marie bursts into the room dramatically. “Mr. Preston!” she nearly screams. “I found Lane and Vani. They locked themselves in the Janitor’s closet on accident. I wonder what they were trying to do in there!”

Mr. Preston sends Anne Marie to h
er seat and he moves to go pick up the phone. But it doesn’t matter. I jump over the desks and run out of the room. He hangs up the phone and calls after me, but I’m too far gone to hear his order.

Running down the hall, I stop at each closet to open them. They’re all locked but no one’s hitting the door or screaming. It doesn’t take me long to find them, though. They’re at the
far corner of the science wing.

“Vani!” I scream as I bang on the door. “Lane! Can you hear me?”

Both girls begin hitting the door, and I can hear their fear and desperation. I know they’re crying from embarrassment and much worse.

I pull on the doorknob. Nothing happens. So I keep trying. Eventually, I press my foot against the door frame and pull on the door with all my strength. The door pops open, and as the girls tumble out, I see that I’ve bent the frame. And I look up just in time to see Mr. Preston and th
e class walking down the silent hall.

Anne Marie can’t win.

I pick up both Lane and Vani and walk to the nearest bathroom. I open the door, set them both down on their feet, and tell them that no one will come in. Then, I turn around and stand in front of the door with my arms crossed over my chest.

Anne Marie tries me right away. “Mr. Preston, can I go in and make sure the girls are okay? I’m sure they’d like some comfort right about now.” She looks up at him and bats her eyelashes like the slut she is.

He shrugs and turns back around to speak to Principal Wiggins.

Anne Marie starts to walk over.

“Don’t you dare,” I say.

She stops and sticks out her bottom lip in an attempt at a pout. She just looks like an orangutan.

Principal Wiggins holds his arm out to me even though he isn’t paying attention. “Let the girl in, Mr. Daniels,” he says.

Anne Marie makes an annoyingly high-pitched sound. She smiles and begins walking toward me again.

“No way in hell,” I growl.

She keeps walking this time. She wants me to push her or something. I
can hear her plan, almost like she’s speaking it out loud.

“Get out of my way, Carter.” She starts to squeeze in beside me.

I step back, making sure not to touch her ugly ass body.

“I’m not going to lose this, Carter.” Her voice is low and dangerous. “Don’t make me play dirty with you.”

I hold my hands out, showing her that I’ve got nothing to lose. “Go ahead, Anne Marie. Do what you want. You’re not fooling me anymore.”

By this time, the whole class is staring at us. And she can’t do a thing. So she just stalks off, huffing and puffing the whole time. Some of the kids, like Jeremy, are laughing at her. Others are just quietly watching. I wonder what they’re thinking right now. Because it’s them, the quiet mass of people, that need to see who she really is.

But this whole closet thing isn’t the end. In fact, it’s just the beginning. And one look at Anne Marie’s smug face proves this. She isn’t the loser today.

And the next day, I find myself staring at Photoshopped pictures of two girls kissing. They made it look like Lane and Vani were making out.
This time, it’s not just pictures that I can tear from walls. It’s postcards that all the guys are carrying around. They first show up after first block. And when I finally figure out what all the new laughs and whispers are about, I make it my mission to find the creator.

Todd. Of course it’s Todd.

I walk down the hallway toward the lunchroom. I was lucky to find out right before then. If I hadn’t, I would’ve had to knock on every classroom door to find his sorry ass. Because he doesn’t deserve any time. He tried to do this with me before, and he was about to find out that his wrestling crap wouldn’t help.

When I get to the lunchroom, I walk straight to my old table. He looks up at me. He knows why I’m here, and he stands up. He holds his arms out like he’s tough or something. Then, he screams to announce this to the whole school.

“So you’re here to kick my ass, Carter? Think you can stand up for your bi girlfriend or something? Tell me, Carter, what was it like to tap that sweet ass? Good?”

I push him. Hard.

He stumbles back and laughs a little bit. “You’re a crazy son of a…”

And he doesn’t finish, because Ryan punches him in the nose. For the second time. This time, Ryan gets him so good that he doesn’t get back up. He shakes his hand while he turns around and offers me a smile. Then, Principal Wiggins comes to get them out of the lunchroom. He gives me a disapproving look but leaves me here.

And I go back to Vani and Lane’s table.

“I can’t believe you almost did that,” Lane says. She’s looking over at me. Tears are about to spill over her cheeks. She reaches out and squeezes my hand in thanks. Then, she pulls Vani in a side-hug. “You two are the best people I know,” she confesses.

I smile and look across at Vani, who’s holding onto Lane’s hand. When Lane’s got control of her emotions, Vani lets go. And we finish our lunch.

---

That afternoon, Vani and I rush to the field. Flowers are starting to bloom with the early spring. I see small buds and a few dandelions near the log. We walk over there and sit next to each other. As usual, Vani leans on my shoulder and I throw my arm over hers.

We sit there for a few moments before she sits up. She leans into me, kissing me like she’s never kissed me before. Her lips press against mine with a need that makes me moan. This new discovery seems to excite her. She pushes her fingers in my short hair and pulls the ends.
And she lets me open her mouth with my tongue. She rarely lets me really kiss her. She tends to be afraid that I’ll take it too far. This time, though, she seems a little more eager.

I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her body closer to me. Her breathing is getting faster, and I really like the way her body is pushing against mine. So I take a chance. I pull her on top of my lap.
She seems stiff at first, but grows comfortable almost immediately. Her legs tighten over mine as she lifts herself up. And I take the opportunity to move my mouth until it settles on her neck.

She gasps. And I let out a low moan. But she lets me kiss her. And I move down until I get to the soft part of her neck. I move back up, alternating between short, simple kisses and ones where I flick my tongue across her warm skin.

I make my way back up to her mouth. And when we kiss, I feel a firework blast through my body. Something about it changes us. It changes who we are. It heals who we were and what we’ve been through. And it’s all because of the need and desire of that moment, that kiss.

When I pull away, we’re both breathless. I pull her forehead onto mine. We sit like that for a moment.
And in that moment, I’m in love.

“Vani,” I whisper.

She answers by pulling back and looking into my eyes.

“Vani, I’m in love with you,” I confess.

Her green eyes grow large with surprise, but she smiles a moment later. She leans in and kisses my lips sweetly. Then, she pulls back and looks at me while she squints.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Seeing if you look different to me,” she says with a laugh. “My mom told me that men have this look about them. It tells you that they love you.”

I laugh. But then I grow nervous. She hasn’t said it back to me. But I can’t push her or ask her. That would be insecure. So, I pull her forehead to mine and close my eyes.

“Do I look any different?” she asks a second later.

I shake my head.

She pulls back and tilts her head to the side. “I should,” she offers.

I move my hands until they rest on her upper thighs. “And why is that?”

She blushes. “Because I love you, too. So much.”

I pull her back into one of those earth-shattering kisses.
That moment didn’t consist of a huge production or plan. It was natural, with just us two. And it was better than I could have imagined. Better, because I’m with her.

“You know,” I start to say, “you’re an amazing person, Vani. You’re so strong, even after all you’ve been through. You inspire me.”

Vani squeezes my hand and looks up at me. “You’re brave too, Carter. You had the strength to walk away. And now, you have the strength to fight Anne Marie. You’re risking everything for me.”

“It’s because I love you, Vani. I love the little things you do, the way you say my name, the way you let me in when I didn’t deserve it.”

“You deserve it. My past affects the people I let in, the decisions I make. It had nothing to do with you.” She stretches to kiss the tip of my nose. Then, she smiles and leans her head on my shoulder. I pull her close and look out over the water. I’m so happy right now. And I don’t think it could get any better than this.

We stay there for a while. And I take her home later than usual. When we get there, Jeb and her mom are sitting on the porch. Something’s up.
And I don’t like it either.

Vani rushes forward and stops in front of them. “What’s wrong, Mom? Jeb?” she asks the two of them.

Mrs. Tucker bites her lip and a tear falls down her cheek. Jeb is just staring into nothing. They’re starting to scare me a little. And I step up and grab Vani’s wrist so that I can calm her down if I need to.

“What is it?” I ask. My voice almost sounds too high-pitched, like I’m going through puberty again or something.
And the anxiety in my chest is getting worse. I feel it pressing in on me like a metal anchor or something.