Broken (The Outsiders Series) (15 page)

“They found something in the investigation,” Mrs. Tucker whispers to us. But she’s really just talking to Vani. And suddenly, I realize that I shouldn’t be here. I step back, letting go of Vani’s too warm hand. She turns to look at me, reaching back out to pull me back
into her world. Because I know it’s shattering around her right now.

“What is it, Mom?” Vani’s voice is small and scared.

“They think that your father did it on purpose.”

Vani collapses in front of me. She’s shaking her head, mumbling. And then, the truth comes tumbling out of Mrs. Tucker’s mouth. And I realize that I’m sitting in the middle of some insane soap opera. This town has more drama than an episode of any show on
Bravo
or
MTV
. And I’m in the middle of the whole thing.

Colton
is Vani’s half-brother. Mrs. Tucker had known it all along. Vani’s dad had been with Colton’s mom before Mrs. Tucker, and he unknowingly got her pregnant before leaving her. He left because she cheated on him with Colton’s “father”. Colton’s mom, Mrs. Hudson, confessed this to the police earlier this week. Turns out, they were seeing each other again. The whole time that he was living with Vani and Mrs. Tucker. All the way until right before the accident.

And Mrs.
Hudson believed he was jealous. She claims he was jealous because she was still sleeping with Mr. Hudson. She just didn’t say it until now.

I bend down and pull Vani on my lap. I shoot Mrs. Tucker a look. She could have kept this to herself
until something definite happened. Vani was just a kid. She shouldn’t be dealing with crap like this. She shouldn’t be worried about her dead father right now. And her memories of him shouldn’t be ruined like this.

“Yo
u don’t understand the importance of this,” Jeb says quietly. And I hold on to Vani to keep from snapping. No, I don’t understand the importance of telling Vani. No, I don’t understand why this small Georgia town has to be so messed up and dramatic. No, I don’t understand why Mrs. Hudson had to bring this shit up. Because it’s done. She’s just spiteful and wants people to feel sorry for her. But I don’t feel sorry for her, because she slept with him too. And there’s no way of finding out the truth. Not now.

So
I scoop Vani up and carry her upstairs. I open the door to her small room, ignoring how special the moment is, and set her down on her small, twin bed. She lies down and I move her over so that I can lie down next to her. I pull her shaking body in my arms and let her cry until she can’t anymore. Then, I let her fall asleep to the beating of my heart. I hum to her and keep her company until I fall asleep too. And then, I dream of nothing but blackness.

17

I wake up, tangled in Vani’s sheets. It takes me a moment to realize where I am, because she’
s not next to me anymore.

I sit up and find her immediately. She’s sitting on the floor in the corner, doing her hair and makeup. She seems pretty calm, and it’s freaking me out.

“You should go before my mom finds you, Carter.” That’s all she says to me. She doesn’t say good morning or I love you. She just tells me to leave her.

I stand up, ready to tell her that I’m not going anywhere. She surprises me by turning around.

“Don’t push me right now, Carter. I can’t deal with you and the bullying and stuff right now. Something inside of me is breaking or dying. I can’t tell which one it is. But I know that Anne Marie is going to push me over the edge today, and I just can’t do it anymore, Carter.”

“I won’t let her,” I protest. But she doesn’t believe me. I can see it in her eyes. I haven’t been able to stop Anne Marie so far. I haven’t succeeded in taking her down or ruining her life. I’ve only been there to pick up the pieces of Vani’s shattered heart. And now, she doesn’t want me to. Because I’m part of the problem.

“Vani, we’ve been together for three weeks. And we’ve been through a lot together. I’m not going to leave you. Not now. Not ever.”

She stands up. “Then we aren’t together anymore. Please leave.”
And that’s all she says before looking at the ground. She’s just waiting.

My jaw falls open. I didn’t expect this. This was the last thing I saw her doing. I saw her yelling at me, blaming me. But I didn’t see this. I didn’t see her leaving me because she couldn’t deal with
everything.

I step forward and she s
teps back. She shakes her head, and my heart aches. I feel bruised and torn. She’s breaking my heart right now, and there’s nothing I can do to hold on to her.

So
I do what she asks of me. Again. I leave, just like I did before she let me in. Just like I did before I let her in.

Finding my way out of her small house is easy. I just follow the hallway to the front door. I don’t bother slamming it to get my point across. I just close it like I normally do. I walk down the steps calmly. When I hit the ground, I grab my bike and ride away. For some reason, I pass my apartment. I just keep going.

The small main street that rides through Mason is the same street that leads away from it, and I follow it until I can’t pedal anymore. I stop at a small gas station and buy some water and a honey bun. Then, I sit on the side of the road.

I watch some kids walk by on their way to school. They dress more like I do: plain shirts and ripped jeans. It makes me feel like I belong with them.
Because I never belonged in Mason. I wasn’t one of those polo wearing, perfect preps. I wasn’t good enough for someone like Vani, and I wasn’t good for her either.

Anne Marie had been right. I came in and changed everything. Lane was getting bullied now. Ryan fought Todd…twice. And Vani’s chances of surviving high school were diminishing because of me.

I was probably the reason why Mrs. Hudson told her story.

I was the reason why Jack hit my mom.

I was the cause of Vani’s current pain.

I caused the unbalance in that small town. They couldn’t handle another mess. They couldn’t take a liar and a coward. And I can’t play the hero.
I wasn’t meant to be Vani’s knight in shining armor. That’s what she deserves. She deserves some well-bred, preppy kid with a good home life. Someone that can show her that not all things are bad.

And I deserve nothing.

Emptiness is my only comfort. Because at least I won’t feel pain or longing. I won’t feel broken.

And I will never look for friends again. Because I hurt them or worse. I change their fates. I bring the whole world down with me and my misery. I am the reason that things are damaged.

And I should break.

“Carter?” comes the sound of someone’s voice.

I look up and see Ryan walking towards me.
He’s got on a plain shirt and some ripped up jeans. He’s wearing a baseball cap over his short hair. It’s red. And it looks horrible with his orange sneakers.

“What are you doing?” he asks me as he sits down on the curb beside me.

I shrug.

“Don’t give me some lame ass answer, Carter. You aren’t doing anyone any favors by sitting here like this. You aren’t some runaway.”

“Yes I am,” I say to him. Then, I tell him the truth about who I am. When I’m finished, he sits back.

“So what?” he says. “So you lied. Who hasn’t? And Mason is the worst town for liars.
Take Mrs. Hudson, for example. I know she’s lying about Vani’s dad, for instance.”

I look up. “What are you talking about?” I ask.

Ryan sighs. “No one knows but me. But Mrs. Hudson left Colton’s dad when Carter died. She hasn’t been in Mason in years. Everyone thinks she’s some recluse that can’t handle the thought of her dead son.”

I blink. What the hell?

“Colton came to me yesterday. The cops say it was a phone call. They say that she won’t come back to testify in person or anything. And he doesn’t think it’s her, Carter. He doesn’t think she called.”

“Then who did, Ryan? Who would have done something like that?” I ask him desperately. When he doesn’t answer immediately, I freak out on him. I turn
to him and shake his shoulders. He doesn’t do much. Just lets me. When I finally let him go, he looks into my eyes and says, “Who do you think?”

And then I’m up. I’m running toward my bike. I have to get to school on time. Anne Marie has something big planned for Vani and I’m not there to stop it this time. I’m not there to get her out of this one.

“Shove that bike in my dad’s truck bed,” Ryan calls out as he runs to his truck to start it. I do as he says and jump in the passenger seat. Ryan speeds down the road, ignoring red lights and all.

When we finally reach the school, I know that the first bell just rang. A few kids are running from their cars and into the building.
I thank Ryan and jump out while he parks. He meets me in the hall almost immediately. I look back and see that he parked in Principal Wiggins’ spot. He must be late.

“I’ll go to the right,” he says.

I nod and run to the left. We run around the entire school, checking in the bathrooms and closets, searching for signs.

When we meet back at the front, Ryan tells me that neither Brooke nor Anne Marie are in their classes.

He pulls out his phone and texts someone.

“Let’s check out the gym and cafeteria,” he says when he puts it up.

We run down the halls and out
the side doors that lead to the other buildings. We run in the cafeteria first, since it’s the first one we get to. The workers stare at us like we’re stupid. We run out. Then, we run to the gym, where Vani has PE right now. We push through the heavy doors and find that it’s empty. They must be by the track this morning. And they’re already there so there was no dressing out. It happens when they just walk or something. No sweating, no changing is what the coaches say.

I sit on the floor
and put my head in my hands. What the hell is going on right now? Where is Vani? What’s going on?

And then, I hear it. A soft cry for help.
And it’s Vani’s voice too. She needs me right now, and I stand up. Immediately, something in my heart aches. This time, I couldn’t stop her pain because I let her push me away. And I will never forgive myself for this. Never.

I rush forward and Ryan follows me. Without hesitation, I push the door to the girl’s locker room open. What I find shatters my body and soul.

Anne Marie leans against the lockers in her jeans and pink shirt. Her perfect curls shake while she laughs at something. She shoves a piece of popcorn in her mouth and takes a look at her black fingernails.

Brooke stands next to her. She’s watching too, but she’s also biting her cheek and looking away every so often. It is her that sees us first. And her eyes grow large as she takes it in.

But that isn’t the worse part. Because the worst part is what they’re watching. They’re watching their new so-called friends punch, kick, and hit Vani. Vani’s curled up in a ball on the floor, listening to the girls call her names. They laugh at her about her father and what he supposedly did to Carter. They laugh at her pain and tears. They joke about her looks, calling her fat and ugly.

And that’s it. One millisecond of this shit brings out a part of me that I kept locked up. That part is Jack. And I start with the few girls hurting Vani.

I rush forward and pull one of them off. I toss her to the side, not caring where she lands. All I can hear is how her body hits the floor.

And I’m shocked when Todd kicks me in the back before I can grab another girl. He laughs and cheers the other girls on while he holds me in a headlock. I turn to find Ryan. He’s in the arms of two of Todd’s new friends. One of them is the one that tried to dump food on Lane. The one that I ended up getting the better of. He laughs at me.

I struggle in Todd’s arms. And I watch, helplessly, as the girls hurt Vani some more. The girl that I threw off gets up and walks over to Vani. She bends down and slaps Vani across the face before she punches her nose. Blood begins to drip onto the floor.

And I keep struggling.

“Looks like you lost, Carter. I told you that I’d get the biggest prize.” Anne Marie walks over to me and smiles brightly, like she’s won some kind of award for this cruelty. “And you get to watch it happen. I’ll say, it’s better than I imagined. I’m glad I invited Todd. If he and his friends hadn’t have been here, I wouldn’t be enjoying the show right now.” She pops another piece of popcorn in her mouth.

“I had to hurt Colton to do this, though. He cares about Vani too much, and when I found out that Mr. Tucker had signed the birth certificate, I had to call in.”

From off to the right, I hear Vani’s small intake of breath.

“Why are you doing this to her?” I ask. I have to let Vani hear it before I break Todd’s arms, wrists, anything.

Anne Marie laughs. Her laugh is pure evil. It rings with the desire of her power. The power that she wants.

“To be honest, Carter, I don’t remember how it started. But it won’t end. Not now. Not ever. She is worthless. She doesn’t deserve love and kindness, because she’s nothing in this world, Carter.”

“Who lets you decide who’s worth it?” I say with a growl.

“Popularity. Cunning and misguided followers. Manipulation and deception. All of it, Carter.
And I could, because no one ever stopped me. And it’s great.”

“You’re nothing but a power-seeking bitch. You’re cruel.”

“Good, because that’s the only thing that will get you anywhere in life. You don’t win anything with kindness and sweet words.”

“Yes you do.”

She laughs in my face. “Coming from someone that knows nothing about pain. You don’t know what you’re talking about, Carter.”

I laugh. “I never told you the truth about who I was,” I say. And I keep going, because the girls are leaving Vani alone. They like the conversation more than the action. And I’m keeping Anne Marie busy so that Vani can crawl away.

Anne Marie’s eyes grow large as she listens. But I don’t care about her thoughts or opinions. I care about Vani.

And just like she knew what was going on, Anne Marie turns around and finds that Vani is lifting herself up
off the ground. She walks over there and slaps her across the face. Hard. And it doesn’t take me long to pull out of Todd’s arms. I run, but I’m not fast enough to stop Anne Marie from hitting Vani one more time. But it’s all I needed. Because when Anne Marie looks up, I see the shock in her icy, blue eyes. Everyone saw what she did.

Principal Wiggins barges in the room. Videos are bei
ng shared with friends. Girls of all shapes and sizes are moving in on Anne Marie. Big football players – and they really do look like they’re on steroids – are closing in on Todd and his little friends. Within moments the bullies are pressed against lockers. Principal Wiggins calls for an ambulance and the police.

And I pull a broken Vani on my lap. I’m crying as she winces from the pain. And when Colton sits down in front of me with tears in his eyes, I nod.
We sit there for a while, and our friends begin to close in around us, shielding us from Brooke, Anne Marie, Todd, and their brainless employees.

Lane is hyperventilating and Ryan puts his arm around her as he wipes awa
y her tears. Colton is now holding Vani’s hand while he apologizes for being too blind to see the true Anne Marie. And Vani, sweet Vani, is accepting his apology in her rattled voice. She cries too, from the pain and the fact that she was saved.

And when I look up, I know it was Ryan. He texted Colton or Lane or someone. He saved us. He saved Vani.
And I will never be able to make it up to him.