Burned (Beautiful Mess) (8 page)

“So I have been upgraded from a ‘girl’ to a ‘woman’?” I teased. Great, that didn’t sound right again. I should just stare and say nothing.

Ethan finally laughed. “I was going to say something that will definitely make you blush, Dana,” he smirked. “But I will let this one slid.”

“Ah, I didn’t know you are such a nice guy,” I made a funny face. I moved my knight to take one of his castles. It really didn’t matter what move I make now. Ethan already had a checkmate lineup on me.

“I’d like to think I am a nice guy,” Ethan mused. “How about we call it a draw, Dana?”

“What?” I blinked. “Giving up so soon? You could have won,” I hinted.

“Yes, but you could have won, too, Dana,” he expended his hand to me for a handshake. “Both win?” he asked, smiling. 

“Okay,” I shook his hand across the table. Did he suspect I intentionally made a wrong move or he was simply being nice? I thought this chess game would let me get to know him but it created another myth instead. My exploration in dating just found a new depth, as if my skull hadn’t been scratched enough.

“Good game, Miss proper,” Ethan gave me a firm handshake.

I nodded at him. I did not realize that my hands were cold until I shook his. The warmth transferring from his hand relived the tension in my body. I felt good to connect us even though this handshake, after sitting on the opposite side of the table and going against each other on the chessboard. I wanted to be on the same side with Ethan, to sit next to him, to be close to him.

Ethan held my hand a few seconds longer. Slowly, he turned his palm and slid his hand until his fingertips were lifting mine. He leaned in with the swift of a graceful snow leopard and he kissed the back of my hand.

I opened my mouth to scream silently the moment his lips connected the skin on the back of my head. A heat wave sent through my arm to all the nerve endings in my body. I felt twitchy, warm and alive. The woman part of me was demanding Ethan to keep kissing each inch of my skin all the way up to my sensitive neck. The book worm part of me was totally amazed by the sensation causing by Ethan’s lips. It didn’t make sense. The back of my hand touched a zillion things throughout my life but I had never ever felt this way. It was like a dragon of desire was awakened in me. No way could I explain this scientifically.

“Would you like to take a walk outside with me, Lady Dana?” Ethan lifted up his head. His lips broke the contact with my skin. I almost grasped for air. Oh, he was just trying to play a gentleman in the old days. I hope he didn’t notice the effect of his little playful gesture had on my body.

“I would love to,” I smiled tightly and stood up to give him a courtesy.  The “medieval and virgin” dress was perfect for this situation.

Ethan held the door of the study room for me and we walked out the room. Ethan’s hand reached out for mine and I held on to it. We were finally side by side. I leaned closer to him. I looked up and took a peak at his face. His features were clear and defined from this angle. A small smile shaped his mouth. And I wondered if it was odd for me to admire the shape of his nose.

“Where are we going, Ethan?” I asked. I was getting obsessed with matching his footsteps while we were walking. I nearly forgot which way was north-not that I actually knew it when I was saner.

“To the garden by the Square,” Ethan said. “The flowers are nice, even at nighttime. I thought you might like it.”

“Ah, I do like flowers,” I giggled. “So you are nice, and romantic, too?” I teased.

“In case you can’t tell,” Ethan said playfully. “I am a hopeless romantic.”

“No way, really?” I narrowed my eyes and made a funny face. “I can’t tell at all.”

Ethan shrugged and led the way. The spring air at the Square was cool and fresh. Although the Square was located in the center of the university, not many students were out there at night during the weekdays. I smelled the fragrance of flowers and the scent was caressing away the stress in my body. I saw the newly bloomed cherry trees and they match my mood at this moment perfectly. I always thought that spring was the best time to meet a guy. At this time of the year, everything was growing-so full of life, full of hope. Colors returned to the world after winter and the birds started to sing new songs. And after a long wait through so many springs, I was with Ethan-a smart and gorgeous man walking under the cherry bloom together, enjoying this view. It felt like dream I never want to wake up to. I held Ethan’s hand a bit tighter.

“Can I ask you a question, Dana?” Ethan woke me up from my daydreaming.

“Yes?” I tensed. What was the question? It must be a serious one if he had to ask permission for it.

“Have you ever been in a relationship?” Ethan was not teasing this time. His tone was attentive.

“Well, what do you think?” I asked him to buy myself sometime. The answer was simple: my relationship history was non-existence. It was the honest answer but it was almost unconvincing. All of my friends had at least one or two relationships even before college. I didn’t want Ethan to think I was the chick that got left out from the bunch.

“Judging from how beautiful you are, I would say you must have several relationships in the past,” Ethan turned toward me. He brushed my hair gently over my shoulder. “But judging from the amount of blush you have been having, I would say none,” he chuckled.

“You are making fun of me,” I was happy to hear the first part but when he finished the sentence I was modified. I pouted and turned away.

“Hey, no,” he tapped my shoulder. “I just think it’s cute!”

“Okay, my turn to ask you a question!” I turned around and looked straight into his eyes. It’s not fair he just found out one of my “shady secrets” and I didn’t dig up some of his.

“Oh wow, a question for a question, huh?” Ethan pretended to be scared. “Ask away, Miss Proper.”

“That dating ad you posted,” I had been thinking about this for days. I had to get it out of my mind. “I am sure there were other girls responded to it? Are you seeing them too?” I didn’t know what kind of things I had going on with Ethan. But I was tired of guessing. I had to ask.

“To be honest?” Ethan raised his eyebrows. “I did meet up with some of them. But most girls I went out with were just boring. They didn’t understand half of the things I say. But you are different, Dana. You are smart, elegant and…interesting. Of course you are beautiful too, and that helps but that’s not the most important...”

Ethan’s confession struck me. I took a step back and tried to steady myself. Did all people in law school talk so smoothly? I wouldn’t use those nice words Ethan used to describe me. If he really thought I was that good, I would have a hard time to live up to his expectation.

Ethan stepped closer. He held my hand again and I instantly got reminded how good it felt to be connected with him. My doubts vanished and I just I wanted to hold his hand and walk through the spring. His gaze locked on mine. “Now, Dana, I have another question.”

“What is it?” I whispered. I didn’t want to look away. His eyes were so captivating in the dark. I was mesmerized.

“Would you consider being my girlfriend, Miss Proper?” He said in a low voice. He squeezed my hand a little, making his point.

I felt fainted.  I might actually faint! Breathe! I told myself. I totally didn’t see that question coming. Why would he ask me so soon? But that’s what I was looking for, right? I had been searching for a boyfriend for months. This was just too good to be true.

I waited too long to answer. Ethan dropped his gaze and shifted his feet. “It doesn’t have to be something serious for now if that’s what you’d like,” he said softly. He sounded discouraged, like a wounded puppy. The light went out in him and something was emerging in the shadow. He always appeared to be confident. I could never imagine he could be suddenly so disheartened.

“No, no, no,” I exclaimed before the air went completely chill. “I was just surprised,” I laughed nervously. I still couldn’t believe this was happening. I hope Ethan wasn’t joking or change his mind the next second. “Of course, I would love to!” I caught up my breath. I took Ethan’s other hand and squeezed both of his hand, expressing my enthusiasm.

“I am glad,” Ethan smiled. “I know this might be a little bit too soon. But I hope you understand…” He stopped the sentence.

I narrowed my eyes. Understand what?
Now I really don’t understand.
  My brained had no room for puzzles right now. It was filled with excitement and anticipation. Now we can watch movies, go kayaking, visit museums and hold hands! Wait, we had already been doing that last item. Oh, there was another thing! We haven’t kissed yet!
Now I really don’t understand.

“I have to go back to the library to finish up my project,” Ethan said quickly before I could ask anything. “May I walk you to the dorm, girlfriend?” He emphasized the word “girlfriend” as if I needed to be reminded.

“Of course,” I said. What I really wanted to ask was that “
aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend supposed to kiss?
”  But I was too timid and scared to ask that. Knowing Ethan, he probably would kiss me right away. It would be so easy for him. But I wanted my first kiss to be memorable, not the Prince Charming bring Snow White back to life that kind of kiss, but at least it would make me have some butterflies when I recall it in the future.  

“So, my parents are going to attend a performance of the Royal Ballet this weekend. I would like to invite you to join us,” Ethan said as we walked back toward my dorm.

“Really?” I would get to watch the world famous Royal Ballet? That’s beyond exciting to me. But Ethan’s parents would be there. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Now I got the idea of Ethan saying “a little bit too soon.” Of course I would love to meet Ethan’s parents. They were part of Ethan’s life and I was dying to know anything more about Ethan. But what if they wouldn’t like me?

“Will you be free, Dana?” Ethan nuzzled me. His tone was a bit concerned, maybe even anxious. I didn’t expect him to be so serious about us and going into the “meet-the-parents” already. Did I really matter that much to him at this point?

“Yeah,” I nodded. Ethan was a gift. A gift I couldn’t even dream of. I intended to keep it no matter what.
I would push through, I can do it
, I encouraged myself. “I would love to,” I looked at Ethan with determination.

“Wonderful,” he smiled.

The walk was pretty short. We walked for a few minutes and we could already see my dorm. I leaned closer to Ethan, linger on his warmth. I didn’t want to say bye again. I didn’t want to be alone. I got so used to the feeling of holding Ethan’s hand. I didn’t know what to do with my hand without holding his now. Just a little bit longer, I thought. I slowed down my pace and hoped Ethan would slow down with me a little. At least this time I wouldn’t worry too much about Ethan disappearing again. He did ask me to be his girlfriend and I was meeting his parents. Everything would go well from now on, right? I comforted myself, trying to shake away the tight feeling in my chest.

“Well, we are here,” I stopped at the door. No one was around the dorm. I was relieved that I could have a few more seconds alone with Ethan.

“Yeah,” Ethan nodded. “I had a good time with you tonight, Dana.”

“I had a good time, too,” I smiled at him. I looked up at him and met his gaze. We were staring at each other now, communicating the truthfulness of our words. My heart suddenly beat like a running rabbit. Oh, this was the scene in the movies where the guy kissed the girl as she was about to enter her house. Was Ethan planning on doing that? I tensed and broke eye contact. I wanted him to kiss me but I chickened out when it could happen. Why? What the heck was wrong with me? When I peaked at Ethan’s face under my eyelashes, he already dropped his gaze. The moment was gone.

“Feel free to call or text me anytime, Okay Dana?” Ethan said. His hand was up on my shoulder and massaging it gently again. I felt so good I almost purr like a cat. Did he found my magic button? Or I had more “magic button” to be discovered? Oh, I needed to stop thinking!

“Okay,” I nodded. So being Ethan’s girlfriend got unlimited access to his phone. Not bad at all.

Ethan lifted my hand and kissed it quickly. I was pretty sure I blushed again as his smile soon turned to a smirk. He opened the heavy door for me and said good night.

I said good night quickly before the door closed again and stayed for while just to peak at Ethan’s sexy back moving away.     

Chapter 11

My heart was still beating rapidly when I almost reached the door of my room. Did Ethan really ask me to be his girlfriend? It’s unreal. What have I done to be worthy of the rank of his girlfriend? I hadn’t done anything with Ethan. Anything in
that
area. Why was I even thinking about that area? My Gosh, I just couldn’t warp my head around this. I had a boyfriend now. I should be celebrating happily-ever-after-now. But why was I still worried?

“Dana! I saw a sexy shadow walked you back!” Vicky opened the door before I turned the doorknob. She had been waiting for my return and ambushed me. As she hoped, I startled and nearly jumped out of my skin. “Now tell me everything!” She exclaimed.

“What? You are my mother now?” I walked passed into the room. “You spy on my date by the window?”  I glared at her. I actually sort of wanted Vicky to be my Mom on the dating battlefield. The only dating advice my Mom gave me was:
Just be yourself, Dana. You never know you might find your true love by dropping a food tray.