Burning Attraction (13 page)

             
"I don't want to be claimed. I can't explain what is going on with Avery and I. We were best friends as kids, he moved back to be with me, but didn't tell me until it was too late. But I don't think he loves me as much as he says he does, and he hardly talks to me anymore. In fact, it's been almost a week. And before that, it had been several weeks." I shrug like it's no big deal, and in some ways, maybe it's not. I do want to be part of Avery's life, but not in a relationship. I thought a lot about it over the past week, and it just wouldn't be smart to date him. I just want to be friends with him.

             
"Well, he is still an idiot. Any guy would be lucky to have a girl like you." He sounds genuine, not his normal cocky way. It makes me think that maybe Pierce isn't such a bad guy. We keep starring at each other, both smiling at one another.

             
"Thank you Pierce. That was nice to hear. I don't believe it, but still, it does make me feel better. Why don't you have a girlfriend?" I'm not sure why I ask him, but having conversation with him actually feels like the right thing to do right now.

             
He snorts out a small laugh. "Had one for six years. She left me the end of school year last year when she graduated. Said she needed to grow up and get a life. It hurt like hell. I came to San Diego just for her, we had plans for building a home, having kids, the works. I said fuck it after that. My only love is fighting. But even that is going to end this year."

             
"Oh, wow. Why would you end fighting?" I'm surprised by all his words, but when he talked about his ex, I could hear the hurt in his voice. It’s weird knowing a man his size, with his strength and endurance, can have a heart break too. I can't imagine putting six years into a relationship to have it thrown away for no real reason.

             
"Why would I continue it? I love it, I'll still go to the gym or whatever, but my dad owns his own business and I'm taking it over in a few years. I want to get started on it immediately after graduating, put all my time and effort into that. And maybe one day down the road I'll find someone new to love, who actually loves me back."

             
"You're different than I thought."

             
He pulls me closer into him. "You're different than I thought too."

             
Pierce and I remain on the floor, sitting and talking about our love lives, well the lack of. We talked a little about careers and families as well. I found out so much about him that I would have never known. He grew up in a wealthy family, very similar to the way I did, and hates cocktail dinners as much as I do. He has one brother who is older and a niece that he spoils rotten.

             
By the time our conversation comes to an end, I am in shock by how much I enjoyed our talk. I can be so open and honest with him, it feels like a new best friend. Like a male version of Aubrey. Plus, he gives me a real point of view from a guy’s perspective. He claims that Avery is head over heels for me, but doesn't want to hurt me, so that is why he keeps a distance. And that Carson probably didn't call because he is still confused by his love for me, but my love for another man. It makes sense to me, and I'm happy to hear him to explain it the way he does.

             
"Alright, I'm going to miss another class if I don't get out of here," Pierce says, standing up. He reaches down and grabs my hand, helping me back onto my feet.

             
"Shit, I just missed that test!" I laugh, because that is not like me. I work hard for good grades, not to miss any classes or assignment, and certainly never tests. But it honestly felt worth it, between the sex and the long talk with Pierce.

             
He looks sorry. "Oh, I didn't mean for you to miss that."

             
"It was my fault, it's okay." I smile at him to reassure him that I'm not that upset.

             
"Yeah, you naughty girl you," he says, slapping my ass. I squeal out a giggle, then rub my ass because it hurt.

             
"Shhh, don't tell. You're my dirty little secret." I wink at Pierce and his eyes grow wide.

             
"I actually like the sound of that," he says, clearly amused. Then he asks for my phone number and I'm not hesitant on giving it to him. "See you later Rosie," he says, kissing my forehead before walking out of the classroom. I wait several minutes before I walk out, hoping no one sees, and since there is no one in the hall way, I'm safe. I think.

Chapter 9: Surprises

             
Friday night I decide that I am not going anywhere. I have too much to think about, too much to process. I'm sitting on the couch, sulking in self misery with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, my sweats, and reality television. Tonight I'm going to be all alone because Aubrey is going on a date with Mason. Their second one so far. There is a knock on the door, which means that Mason is here to pick Aubrey up. She yells from the bedroom, so I get up and make my way to the door.

             
I open it up and swing my arm out, telling Mason he can enter, then I shut the door behind him and make my way back to the couch. I hear Mason laugh as he takes the recliner. "You look like you're ready for a night out partying."

             
"Ha, ha, you're so funny," I say sarcastically, not even looking in his direction.

             
"So word is you're single," Mason states.

             
I look over at him, glaring, not impressed by his matter-of-fact statement. "Seriously? Screw off Mason."

             
He puts his hands up innocently. "Whoa, whoa, I'm not being a dick. Was just going to state that you should give Avery a call. He ain't doing much tonight."

             
"Oh, so he isn't out fucking some slut again?" I look back at the TV and hope that Mason doesn't get the hint of how jealous I really am.

             
"Um, I don't think so," he says with humor in his voice. I don't bother looking at him again, and Aubrey makes her way out just minutes later.

             
"You two have fun," I say as they start to leave. Then I turn the volume up louder the second the door latches. I'm half way through an episode of Jersey Shore when there is another knock on the door. I wasn't expecting anyone, and quite frankly, I don't want to see anyone. I look like hell!

             
I get up anyways and make my way towards the door, throwing it open. Avery is standing there with a giant smile and I'm instantly even angrier. I slam the door and walk back to the couch without saying anything. But, since I don't lock the door, Avery opens it up and walks in after me. "I didn't say you could enter."

             
"I know," he says. He plops down on the couch next to me and doesn't say another word.

             
We both finish watching Jersey Shore together in silence. When it finally ends, I grab the remote and go through my DVR list, trying to figure out which reality show is next. Avery reaches over and grabs the remote from my hand. "What are you doing?" I ask him.

             
He looks me up and down and smiles. "I should be asking you the same."

             
"What does that mean?" I snap.

             
Avery grins at me in that boyish way that causes my heart to pump faster and faster. "You kind of look like shit," he laughs.

             
"Screw you Avery, I'm not in the mood." I grab the remote back and just click on the first show I see, which happens to be True Blood. And of course, since I had started this episode earlier, it happens to be dead smack in the middle of an erotic scene.

             
My face burns bright red with embarrassment as Avery bursts into laughter. I hurry up and just turn off the TV. "What the fuck was that? Do you record porn? Vampire porn?" he asks between laughs.

             
I grab the blanket behind me and put it over my face, too embarrassed to even look at him right now. Avery pulls the blanket off me and shakes his head slightly, still laughing at me. "Stop laughing! It's not porn, it's True Blood you ass. I didn't know it'd be in the middle of that scene!"

             
"I'm watching it," he grabs the remote off the coffee table and clicks the TV back on. The scene continues and I'm mortified, but continue to watch anyways. I love this show and wanted to finish this episode, just not with Avery next to me. I pretend it isn't, but right now, it's so awkward. It's hard for me not to notice the way he keeps glancing at me.

             
I look back at him. "Why do you keep looking at me?"

             
He winks at me, "because it's hot seeing you watch this shit. I'm pretty sure this is a fantasy coming true."

             
My face warms up again. "You're not funny."

             
"I'm not joking."

             
"Whatever," I mumble, looking back at the show.

             
Avery grabs at my shirt and pulls me towards him, causing my head to fall into his chest. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and we watch the show in silence. When the show is done I look up to Avery, his green eyes staring down at me. "You're so beautiful," he says so quietly I almost don't hear him.

             
"I thought I looked like shit," I state back.

             
He smiles with amusement. "You kind of do. But only because you look miserable, like you're over thinking things. You're still without a doubt the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on. And Carson is a fuckin idiot for letting you go." He kisses my forehead and gives me a questioning look. "Can I ask why you guys broke up?"

             
"You."

             
His eyes widen, more in fear than anything else. "What is that supposed to mean?"

             
I sigh before responding, "he asked if I loved you, I said yes. He asked if I kissed you, I said yes. And he said he needed a break. I tried to talk to him, but he doesn't want to talk to me. I didn't know we were broken up, I thought it was a temporary thing, but apparently not."

             
"You love me?" he asks, his eyes suddenly darkening with lust.

             
I nod my head yes, swallowing down a lump that has suddenly formed in my throat. Avery leans down and kisses my lips softly, his hand pushing my bangs out of my face, and some of my hair behind my ear as he pulls away. His eyes look back and forth between my two, causing me to feel admired.

             
"Avery," I whisper, "it can't work."

             
"Not right now it can't, but in time. I'll give you time Cassandra, but one day, you will be mine."

             
"I know," I say, finally realizing I've been wrong. I am in love with Avery, I've just been pretending the best I can that I'm not, because I didn't want to lose Carson. But I have lost him, he is gone. He won't talk to me, he won't look at me. He is the one who has told everyone that we split. But I can't just jump into anything with Avery right now, because I'm already confused and too recently heart broken.

             
Avery holds me a little tighter and changes the channel to King of the Hill. We used to watch this show together a lot when we were little, so it feels right watching it with him now. We just cuddle on the couch and watch a marathon of this show for hours.

             
I wake up, still on the couch and I feel an arm around my waist. Looking behind me, I see Avery is passed out, cuddling close to me. Trying not to wake him up, I reach over and grab the remote, check the time on the TV, which says 3:28 in the morning, then I turn the TV off. I roll so that I'm now facing towards Avery, and I give him a small kiss on the lips before snuggling close to him. Sleep takes back over just minutes later, and I dream of heaven all night long.

             
When I wake up again, it's to the smell of bacon. I stretch out and notice immediately I'm alone on the couch, so I sit up and look around. I spot Avery in the kitchen, still in his clothes from yesterday, standing over my stove. I get up from the couch and run into the bathroom before he can see me. I brush my teeth and comb through my hair before throwing it into a pony tail. I add a little deodorant and change into a tighter tee-shirt. Walking back into the kitchen, I watch as Avery puts eggs, bacon, toast and slices of oranges onto two plates. Then he walks over to the fridge and pours two glasses of apple juice.