Camp Payback (28 page)

“Anyone else?”

Jackie hugged her scabbed knees. “Don’t let others intimidate you or push you around. Stand up for what you believe and don’t stop until you reach your goals.”

“Oh, I love that!” Trinity exclaimed.

“Writing it down.” I scribbled. Yasmine was right. I should have been listening all along.

“My advice is to go after what you want. You’ll never know if you’ll get it unless you try.” Siobhan’s bright cheeks left no doubt she was talking about Rafael.

I reached across and gave her arm a quick rub. Siobhan had, just last summer, lectured our old cabin mate Lauren about boys being a distraction. But here she was, keeping up with her summer school by studying with Rafael.

“Thanks, Siobhan. Anyone else?”

“Be open-minded to change because you’ll go through a lot. The universe has a plan, and there’s no rush to figure it out,” Trinity mumbled over a mouthful of kettle corn.

“Yep.”

“So true.”

“Definitely.”

The girls each took a handful when the bag was passed their way. I munched on the salty sweetness, thinking life was like that. Sugar and spice. There were good times and challenging times, but in the end, you always wanted more. I hated that Javier and I hadn’t worked out, but I still got to spend a summer with my friends. If only there was something nice I could do for him.

The slanting afternoon sun glittered on the letter “A” hanging from my bunk. For so long it stood for everything I’d wanted in life: appreciation, attention, control. Most of all, it stood for me. A glittery A for Alex because I needed to stand out in a good way—separate from my parents. It practically shouted “MINE” wherever I nailed it.

But none of that mattered anymore. I didn’t need to be noticed and have people like me. So what if the world thought I was the problem child and now troubled teen? What counted is what I believed. I’d let other opinions affect me too much.

Suddenly, I knew someone else who should have the sparkling “A.”

Javier.

I paid no attention to the “Where are you going?” and “Swim starts in ten minutes!” shouted behind me as I grabbed the letter and bolted from the cabin. In less than a minute, I was on the Warriors’ Warden porch. I bent over, my sides aching, chest heaving. Luckily, all was dim and hushed inside. Knowing Rob, he’d used the free time to take them on a run. Knowing Javier, he was in the kitchen.

The door swung open with a small tug, and I strode to Javier’s bunk. Like me, he had a top one. Unlike mine, his was neatly made with no frills to perk up the sad-looking navy comforter he’d tucked in the corners. I grinned down at my final Secret Camp Angel gift. Time to change that.

I found some paper and used my new pen to write him this note.

Javier
,

I’m sorry for what’s happened this summer. But I wouldn’t change a moment we spent together since it meant everything to me. I won’t forget you, and I hope you won’t forget me. But just in case, here’s something to remind you of the crazy summer you met an even crazier girl named Alex. P.S. The “A” now stands for amazing—as in our amazing summer. It was short, but I hope you’ll remember it for the rest of your life. I know I will
.

xo, A

I tucked the note under the “A” and put both on his pillow. Hopefully he’d understand it wasn’t goodbye. It was forever.

Javier

“You have everything you need?” Bam-Bam asked me before we walked into the mess hall.

I checked my watch again. I didn’t want to miss any of Alex’s speech.

“Yeah.” I pointed to the video camera I’d borrowed from Mr. Woodrow. The camp director had actually helped me out with a few things in my last days at camp, so I couldn’t really think of him as Gollum anymore.

Camp Juniper Point had been good to me. Mostly because it had given me Alex, if only for a little while. But I’d met more people here who gave a crap about what happened to me than I’d ever met anywhere else.

“Good.” The counselor nodded, jaw flexing. “But I mean for your trip across state. Do you need anything?”

I wasn’t ready to share my plans about that just yet. But I knew Bam-Bam meant well.

“Yeah. I’m good.” I had my head screwed on straighter than it had been in a long time. “Thanks.”

Inside the mess hall, applause made me wonder if it was time for Alex to go on yet. I’d gotten special permission to slide into the back of the room, even though Alex’s talk was geared toward the girls. When I’d told Emily I wanted to record footage of Alex, she’d turned cartwheels.

Literally.

“You’ll do fine, kid. Good luck.” Bam-Bam clapped me on the shoulder while some giggling girls wearing face paint ran past us into the mess hall, whispering to one another about seeing the
Wholesome Home
star speak.

Alex must have a following with younger girls. I wondered if she knew her parents’ blog had won her fans.

“Thanks. I know you did everything you could to help me.” This was awkward for me, but the guy deserved the words. “I appreciate it.”

Bam-Bam stared down at the water, his expression guarded. “You helped me out quite a bit with the Vijay thing. I should have seen the signs he was using.”

“Rafael gets most of the credit.” I tightened my grip on the video camera. I needed to get inside and start filming, but it wasn’t often that anyone stood up for me. I wouldn’t walk away from someone who’d believed in me even before I did. “And it’s not your fault you didn’t know. That’s not exactly the stuff you expect at a place like this.”

People sent their kids to Camp Juniper Point to get away from drugs and bullying and all the crap kids faced every day at school. Kids here still sang “B-I-N-G-O,” for crying out loud. Sure, some of it was corny. But it was special, too.

“All the more reason it should have stood out. Vijay was never a bad kid before.” Bam-Bam held the door open. “Come on. I’ll find us seats.”

We slid into a back row just as Emily introduced Alex. I hurried to get the video camera going because I had big plans for this footage. Alex might not need her glittery letter “A” anymore, but she still deserved some time to shine. I’d talked to her for a few minutes during breakfast, and she’d told me her parents were splitting and that she might be able to study at a performing arts school in New York. But Alex didn’t know about the plans her mother had in mind for
me
. Mrs. Martineau had approached me this afternoon with enough ideas for my future to make my head spin.

For now, I messed with the zoom feature on the camera and tried to get the best possible footage in case it would help Alex get into that acting school. I walked closer to the stage, careful not to distract her or anyone in the audience. I took some crowd shots while Alex held up a bottle of ear drops and a mirror, talking about her Camp Angel gifts. I snagged an image of her mom watching with teary eyes.

That made me start listening. Keeping the camera balanced on a folded table off to one side of the room, I tuned into what Alex was saying.

“…I’d been so focused on getting payback for what someone else did to me, I was making myself miserable.” She held up the mirror to all the girls watching her. “Guess I should have taken a good look in here instead.” She put her hand on one hip. “And I don’t mean to check out my eyeliner.”

That got a laugh from her audience, and I could see how she brought her acting skills into play. Sure, she spoke from the heart, but she used that big personality to work the crowd.

Light up the room.

“I should have realized you don’t look backward. I hurt someone I cared about this summer because I wanted the wrong kind of attention.” She blinked. Paused.

My gut clenched, and I knew damn well she wasn’t acting now. I felt bad for all the times I’d pushed her away. I wished I could have every last one of those moments back.

She cleared her throat. “What I learned this summer is that you pay it forward.” She set down her prop on a stool beside her. “It makes you happy inside to do nice things for other people, like what Emily did with the Camp Angel bracelets.”

She held up hers to show it off and waved Emily to stand and take a bow. While the girls cheered, Alex hollered the loudest.

“My Camp Angel taught me a lot, even though I was
not
always a gracious learner.” She turned to stare at someone in the audience, her green eyes shining with tears. “Yasmine, I’m sorry and thank you.”

More applause. I picked up the camera to shoot the crowd again, my heart in my throat. Alex was freaking magnificent up there, and these girls really responded to her. She’d be like her mom one day, helping out people who didn’t have their lives together. I’d had a chance to talk to Mrs. Martineau earlier and she was…awesome. I understood where Alex got her generous spirit, even though her star-power was all her own.

“So if you want to learn how to deal with negative situations or if you just want to become a stronger, better, more kick-butt girl, you should take the Growth and Development workshop with Emily. You won’t regret it.”

The cheers were louder now than they’d ever been. I had to put the camera down, actually, so I could make some noise. Alex was more than just a hot girl. She was funny, smart, and talented. And yeah, I’d say she definitely fell into the “kick-butt” category.

I’d been an idiot not to see it sooner. Or not to help
her
see it. But then, I’d had problems of my own this summer. Still, it wasn’t too late to change. To offer Alex something to prove that I’d never, ever forget her.

Alex

“You were wonderful, sweetheart,” my mom gushed.

I’d been mobbed after my talk, and it was really strange feeling, like a rock star at camp. But sheesh. I guess the younger girls all knew the
Wholesome Home
blog—they’d been following my “issues” with the same devotion their parents followed my parents. Weird, right?

I’d been so isolated from pop culture, I had no clue there were kids in the world who wanted to hear my side of the story.

“I was so nervous.” My backpack containing my props quavered in my hand. I could feel it moving against my leg where I held it like a purse. “I worried the whole time—”

“You were amazing.” Javier appeared at my side to whisper the words in my ear. “Emphasis on
amazing.”

“Thank you.” I met his deep brown eyes and wanted to fall into them. “This is my mom—”

“Mrs. Martineau.” Javier turned to her with a smile as if they’d met a hundred times before. “Nice to see you.”

I frowned. Since when was Javier so at ease talking to parents? He’d been worried about meeting my folks since he first found out I was the
Wholesome Home
girl.

Before I could ask about it, he was passing off my backpack to Emily and taking me by the hand. “Would it be okay if I stole Alex for a little while? We don’t have much time left—”

“Of course!” my mother and Emily said at the same time before my mom kissed me on the check. “Go right ahead. I have a few things to see Mr. Woodrow about anyway.”

Should that sound ominous? Would Gollum try to talk her out of leaving me at camp? And most of all, did my mother just agree to let me hang out, alone, with a guy she knew I’d made out with? I didn’t have much time to think about it though, as Javier whisked me out of the mess hall and toward the kitchen.

“Are we cooking?” I asked, confused and overwhelmed by the reception to my talk. I hadn’t expected it to be such a big deal, but it had felt really good.

Really right.

“Not now, though I did make Julian some apple-cinnamon empanadas earlier today. They’re my second Secret Camp Angel gift to him. I’ll mail him my third gift from wherever I am next week.” He led me past the food prep area and the sink where we’d gotten into our first fight. “I thought we’d find some quiet back here.” He shoved open the door in back, the one that brought us into the kitchen garden.

The dirt path through the main row was visible in the deepening twilight, but the plants were taller than the last time I’d been here. My eyes searched for the oregano flowers he’d picked for me that day I’d cried, but I couldn’t tell one plant from another.

“Here.” He pointed toward a new bench off to one side, a few simple planks bolted onto two posts. “I made a spot for Helena to sit when she comes out into the garden for some fresh air. I just finished sanding it today.”

He brushed it off with his hand and gestured for me to take a seat.

“Weren’t you supposed to be doing camper things during your last week?” I sat beside him and pictured him alone out here today while I’d been surrounded by my friends.

“Hate to tell you, Alexandra—” He drew out the “x” into a soft, rolling “s” that made my name sound like a song. “—but I’ll never be Mr. Social.”

“But you were so great during
West Side Scary.”
Everyone liked Javier now that Vijay was gone. They’d probably liked him before.

“I’m learning,” he admitted, taking my hand and folding it in his. “And I got Rafe to help me on the bench, so we hung out for a while and he told me more about Puerto Rico where he’s from. I’ve been thinking I’d like to go to Venezuela one day and see the sights, even if I don’t find my dad.”

“Really?” I remembered the cookbook I’d given him and the photos of Venezuelan dishes from around the country. “You could test your cooking skills against the locals and see how you do.”

“Maybe.” He stared down at my knee where my hand rested on my leg. He didn’t take it, but he traced the backs of my fingers—one by one—until I shivered from the gentle touch.

All my life I fought so hard for positive attention, but with Javier, I always felt like I had it without having to do a thing. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to be with him.

God, I was going to miss him. The knowledge that he’d be leaving in the morning socked me in the gut so hard I could have doubled over with the hurt.

“I can’t believe you’re going.” It sounded like someone else was speaking, my voice high and desperate. “I mean, I know that’s selfish because I’m thinking about how much I’m going to miss you instead of how awful this is for you, but sitting here right now reminds me so much of that first day you talked to me and we came out here.”