Camp Payback (27 page)

Mom shook her head, then let go of my hand to grab a tissue and blow her nose. I rested my head on her shoulder, and we both stared out at the lake, watching the rising moon mirrored on its inky, calm surface. Pretty on the outside with unpredictable currents lurking below. I felt one begin to drag me under.

After a long sigh, Mom twisted around to face me. “My problems with your dad aren’t about you, Alex. If anything, you kept us together longer than we would have made it on our own. The blog gave us a common purpose. But it was a partnership more about business than love.”

My chest felt heavy. Like I had slipped under those placid waters and swallowed a mouthful of pain. “But you two have always been so tight. A team.”

Mom nodded, the lines around her mouth deeper than I remembered them. “A team, yes. A couple, not in the real sense. This summer we argued a lot about what to do with you this fall.”

And here I thought Javier had suffered the most because of me. At least he’d be out of the group home in six months. My problems could ruin my parents’ marriage forever.

“Why would you argue about that? It’s already done. I saw the application filled out. I know I’m going to boarding school.” I brushed a moth away from my cheek and realized, when my hand came away damp, that I was crying, too. “I know you and Dad are ready to get rid of me. I just…hadn’t understood how many problems I was causing until now.”

But now? I got it. Seeing Javier’s life fall apart because of me had spelled it out perfectly. I was trouble.

Soft fingers wiped away my tears, then smoothed a damp strand of hair behind my ears. It was a familiar gesture, one that brought back memories of Mom soothing me when I’d woken from a childhood nightmare or fallen off a bike or gotten in school trouble. Always Mom.

Where had Dad been all those times? He’d been quick to jump on the computer to blog about things that happened to me but not to actually help. I guess that was a difference between my parents. Here was Mom, facing me with this harsh news, soothing me as best she could, while Dad stayed behind for more photo ops and blog posts.

“Alex, I never wanted you to leave us. I don’t want to speak poorly of your father. No matter what, he’s still your dad. But we couldn’t see eye to eye on your schooling, and when it came to fighting for my daughter, I couldn’t back down.” She squeezed my hand. “It’s too important. You’re too important.”

Wonder filled me that Mom loved me as more than a career booster, more than a publicity opportunity. She loved me for real. My heart pounded, and I put my hand across my chest, marveling that this was real and the fake-life I’d lived for so long might finally be over. But what would happen to Mom without
Wholesome Home?
Without my dad?

“I don’t want to cause all of this, Mom.” I clutched her arm tight, needing her to listen to me. “I’ve done a lot of thinking at camp, and I know the boarding school will be fine.
I’m
fine. Please don’t end things because of me. I—I couldn’t take it if you did.”

Javier said I’d be all right if I went away to school, and I believed in him like I’d never believed in anyone else. But more importantly, I’d come to believe in myself.

“Oh, sweetie.” My mother gathered me in her arms. “This is between your father and me. We both love you very much. We just don’t love each other. I’m not leaving until tomorrow, but I want you to think about what you want to do and who you’d like to live with when you’ve finished camp.”

Everything else fell away when she mentioned camp. My mouth opened and closed like a creature under that placid lake. “Aren’t I leaving with you?”

Mom’s lips twisted upward in a small smile. “After watching you with your friends, how well you managed the skit, I don’t want you to leave when you’re happy and thriving. Juniper Point is good for you, and if you help Emily, you’ll be able to do some good for other people, too.”

Relief rolled through me like a wave on the shore. I wasn’t leaving. I had another month before boarding school. Time to make sense about how I felt about the divorce. Most of all, it was a second chance to be the person I’d finally learned I could become.

I kissed her cheek, tasting the salt of her tears—or mine—and gave her a bear hug. “Thank you, Mom. I won’t mess up again before going to boarding school.” Oh my God. I was really going to get to stay here.

If only Javier wasn’t leaving…

“Mistakes are how you grow, sweetie. Even at my age,” Mom whispered in the near dark. Something small and darker than the air swooped overhead, and we both ducked. Mom scrambled to duck as she shrieked.

“Was that a—”

“Bat? Yep.” I shuddered at how close it had come, but we were facing something so much more sinister than this that I couldn’t, wouldn’t be afraid of flying rats. “For a minute, I thought it was BLISS Network surprising us with a TV crew. Now that would have been scary.”

A ghost of a smile flitted across Mom’s face. “I cancelled them before I got here. No family, no show.”

“So what are you going to do?” I covered her twisting hands and pulled them onto my lap.

A short laugh escaped her. “Write a final post on the
Wholesome Home
blog, then shut it down or sign my share of the rights over to your father for a small fee.” She winked at me. “I’ll find a job, a place to live…actually, it’s kind of a long list.”

“Oh, Mom.” I hated hearing her sound so uncertain. I watched a small group of younger campers trek out onto the

dock to stargaze and remembered when the Munchies did that once. It felt like another lifetime ago.

“Honey, it’s fine. Better than fine. It’s good and long overdue.”

“At least you won’t have to worry about where to put me.” Suddenly going away for school, which I’d come to accept, seemed like a decent alternative after all. With so much changing, it’d help my mom to have me settled. I would focus on that instead of how
I
felt about it. “I’ll be away at boarding school.”

I stared up at the sky, wondering if the campers would see any shooting stars so they could make wishes. Mine would be for Mom. And Javier, too.

“About school…”

I leaned forward. “Yes?”

“After we spoke, I contacted the assistant director of
Mine Forever.”

So much had happened since my angry phone call to Mom, I’d forgotten I even mentioned it to her. What was more surprising? She’d actually been listening.

“You did?”

“She spoke very highly of you and strongly recommended you spend your last year of high school at the performing arts school she graduated from in New York.” Her eyebrows lifted. She smiled. “Alex, she said you showed great passion for the small role you were given. That you reminded her of herself when she was starting out. I had no idea you were so talented.”

My face heated at the compliment, and I traced patterns in the beach sand with my toe. It was one thing to hear kind words from a stranger, but to know that my mother believed it, too. Wow.

“The director promised to contact the school and get back to me. There aren’t any guarantees, of course. But there’s a chance she can help you get in if you would like to attend.”

The words blew me away. The idea floored me. But Mom’s strained face yanked me back to reality. If I didn’t go to the boarding school, then I should stay with her. “I want to be with you. Help you.”

Mom stroked my hair absently. Tonight was the most we’d touched since our obligatory Christmas photos last December. I’d missed this contact. Hadn’t realized how much until now. “Alex, seeing you happy does help me. And besides, one of the jobs I’ve applied for is in Manhattan working to match disadvantaged women with careers.”

I pulled back and studied her. “Isn’t that your charity?”

Her mouth quirked. “Yep.”

“So you’d be hiring yourself?”

“If the board agrees.”

The joy of new possibilities streaked through me. “We’ll make them. You’ve done a lot for them. And if I get into the performing arts school, we can get an apartment. Personally, I like SoHo, but I heard the Meat Packing District is really trendy and—”

Mom held up a hand. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Lots to figure out before then. I’m glad you’re staying here for the second half of the summer while I get things settled. I just feel bad that Javier can’t stay, too.”

I startled, stunned she’d remembered him and his situation. So much had changed in my life, but everything was the same for him. He’d still leave camp the day after tomorrow to start over in a group foster home.

“It’s not fair. Javier’s tried so hard to be there for his mom. And he’s smart and a really good cook, and now he’ll be stuck in a group home without his family. With no options.”

Mom pulled my head down to her shoulder and rested her chin on top of it. “Maybe there’s more in store for him than you think.”

Alex

Free period the next day felt like a death sentence. I lay on my back with my feet propped on the wall behind Jackie’s bunk, my hair dangling over the edge of her mattress. In just a few hours, I’d deliver my speech to the girls who’d signed up for Emily’s class, and I still had no clue what to say.

“Hey, isn’t that another Secret Camp Angel gift?” Yasmine pointed to a small, tissue-wrapped object peeking out from my pillow. She sprayed something floral around her neck, transforming our musty cabin into a tropical garden.

“Probably.” I rolled over on my stomach and dropped my head in my hands. My after-dinner talk was going to be an epic fail. What did I have to say to girls about growing up and becoming mature? Like my parents had written, I was the cautionary tale, the girl who wandered into the witch’s candy house or fell asleep in bears’ beds. Sure I’d learned a lot lately. But with Javier leaving, it felt like too little, too late.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Jackie’s bunk squeaked when Piper jumped on beside me.

Something weighty dropped in my lap. Would this be an insult masquerading as a gift? Or had my Not-So-Secret Camp Angel decided to take it easy on me?

Yasmine’s expression gave nothing away.

“Come on, Alex. Open it.” Jackie scrubbed a towel across her damp head and joined us on her bunk. She’d showered after playing some pick-up basketball.

Bracing myself, I hoped for the best. The tissue paper came free, and a smooth silver pen lay in my hands.

“Ohhh,” the group chorused.

“It’s pretty.” I held up the pen and inspected every angle. Was it booby-trapped or something? Would ink squirt out when I uncapped it? “I guess I could use it to write Javier.”

“You should use it to write your speech.” Yasmine gave me a knowing look, and I couldn’t keep her secret to myself any longer.

“Thank you, Yasmine.” I pointed a finger. “You wouldn’t admit it the other night, but you’re my Secret Camp Angel.”

She smiled and shrugged. “Guilty.”

Emily strolled in, her neon yellow biker shorts brilliant in the sunshine streaming through our screens. “Where did you get that awesome pen?”

I handed it to Emily. She turned it over in her hand, a small smile playing on her fuchsia-coated mouth. “That’s a Waterman pen. My father only used these. They’re French.”

“I gave it to her.” Yasmine smiled. “I’m her Secret Camp Angel.”

Emily handed the pen back. “No wonder Alex’s gifts were so awesome.” She held out a fist to Yasmine. “Way to get in the spirit, home girl.”

“Thanks.” Yasmine fist-bumped her, then made an exploding sound that was so lame even Emily laughed.

“Yeah, thanks, Yasmine.” When I really thought about it, she meant well. “But I still don’t see how it will help me with my speech. I don’t have a clue what to write about.”

“What about the other gifts? You could use them, too.” Siobhan hurried across to my desk area and held up my first gift—
A Girl’s Guide to Growing Up
. “There are actually plenty of good facts in here.”

She handed it to me, and I flipped a few pages, loving the smell of a new book. I stopped on a chapter entitled “Self-Esteem” and scanned a few paragraphs. It wasn’t all that different than the things my folks wrote about on
Wholesome Home
, but the tone was less…know-it-all.

Or maybe it just helped that it hadn’t been written by…a
parent
.

“You’re right. Thanks, Siobhan.” There was a lot of good stuff in here that would help me get a speech started. If only I’d thought to read the darn book before I caused Javier so many problems.

“What about this gift?” Trinity left the bunk and returned with the mirror I’d tossed near my laundry bag.

I peered over her shoulder and caught both of our reflections. Her calm expression didn’t do much to slow my bumping heart. “You don’t need a third eye to see the truth.”

“No,” I sighed and wiped off a mascara smudge with shaking fingers. “Maybe I just needed to open the ones I have.”

A warm hand rubbed my back. “Now that you see,” Yasmine held up the bottle of ear drops she’d given me, “it’s time to listen. We’ll all help with your speech.”

I looked at the circle of smiles surrounding me and felt the first twinge of happiness in days. No matter how much I’d messed up, camp friends were friends for life and would always have my back.

Heart squeezing tight, I leaped into the cluster of my friends, trying to hug everyone at once. We collapsed in a squealing heap. “I owe you guys, big time.”

Piper swiped her hair off her face and straightened. “Can I start?”

I nodded, my heart bursting that they wanted to help me.

She strode over to her bed to retrieve a friendship bracelet she’d been braiding from material scraps she’d found in the arts and crafts room. “My advice is never to be wasteful.”

We all groaned. Of course Piper would say that.

“What?” She flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Is there something wrong with not wasting yourself on things that don’t matter—like boys who don’t treat you with respect or friend drama or obsessing over your looks?”

That shut us up. In fact, I used the pen and took notes in the margin of the book. It was actually really good advice. I clicked off the pen and glanced up. My ears were definitely working now.

The swimmer’s drops must have kicked in.