Captive (23 page)

“I disagree,” Marcy said, smiling at Carlos when he handed her a tissue to wipe her eyes. “For the first time in ten months, I don’t feel alone.”

She sobbed quietly and Rose got up and embraced her, holding her for more than a minute.

“You guys, it felt good to say that out loud,” I said, sighing deeply. “How about if I take us all out to dinner at the diner across the street? We can keep talking there.”

“You don’t need to buy,” Marcy said.

“Let her do it, she’s rich,” Carlos told her as we all headed for the door of the conference room.

I laughed at his frankness. “Carlos, Ryke wants you to come to a home game when you can.”

“Really? Man, that’d be awesome.”

“Oh!” I said loudly, making everyone turn back toward me when I was about to turn the lights off. “I also need to tell you guys that Ryke and I are going to have a daughter!”

“It’s a girl?” Rose exclaimed. “Oh, Kate!”

“Oh, no. I mean, it might be, but we’re not finding out. What I mean is, we’re adopting a little girl who’s five. It’ll be final in a couple weeks. And we’re looking for a house in the suburbs since we need more room.”

“The suburbs?” Rose furrowed her brows with concern. “But you’ll still lead the group sometimes, won’t you?”

“Of course I will. You guys are like family to me.”

“We’ve got some celebrating to do,” Carlos said, laying a hand on my shoulder. “Congrats.”

I turned off the switch on the wall, filled with light from the support of friends who didn’t judge me.

I was giddy when I glanced down at my purple painted nails. It was the most imperfect manicure I’d ever gotten, but I wouldn’t be removing the polish anytime soon.

Melody was eating a frosted doughnut across the kitchen table from me, and her nails were the same sparkly shade. She’d spent the night before with us, and tonight we were taking her to her first hockey game. This ice breaker weekend was supposed to help us decide if she was right for us, but I already knew.

“You guys really like yellow,” Melody said, using both hands to tip her large glass of milk to her mouth.

“Does it make you feel calm and happy?” Ryke asked, looking up from the newspaper’s sports section.

“I guess so.”

“What color of room would you like best?” I asked.

“I don’t have my own room. I share with Julia, and it’s just white.”

“But if you did, what would you like?”

Melody took a bite of her doughnut and considered as she chewed. “Pink.”

I took a deep breath. Melody’s caseworker had told me she could talk to Melody about us adopting her if I preferred that. But I wanted to see how she felt about it for myself.

“So.” I brushed some crumbs into my hand and onto a plate, trying to think of the best words to use. “You know how Diane told you that you’ll have a forever family eventually?”

Melody nodded.

“Well, Ryke and I are wondering what you’d think about us being your forever family.”

She smiled and looked from me to him. “I could stay here every night?”

“Every night and every day. We want you to be our daughter.”

“You do?”

I looked at Ryke, urging him with my eyes to back me up.

“Yeah, we do,” he said. “If you say yes, we promise to always take care of you. We want you to feel safe and happy here.”

She reached for her third doughnut. Diane was strict about a healthy diet, and Melody always indulged when she was with me. I’d have to start encouraging her to eat healthy foods, too.

“You don’t have to decide right now,” I said. “You can think about it. Spend some more time with us if you want to, maybe.”

“I want to,” she said. “You guys are nice. But where will I go if you guys die?”

I sighed and reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear. “That won’t happen, sweetie. Please don’t worry about that, okay?”

She nodded, but I could tell she wasn’t convinced. It would take time for us to earn her trust, and I knew that even then, she’d never be as carefree as children usually were.

“I’m really happy you want to be in our family,” I said, smiling.

“Me, too,” Ryke said, winking at her.

“And if you change your mind, that’s okay,” I said. “It’ll take a few weeks for this to happen.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “So I’m not staying?”

“Well, not quite yet, but we still have the rest of the weekend. What should we do today? Ryke has to leave for work soon, but you and me can keep busy until we go to the game later.”

“We could watch a movie,” she said. “Or play Barbies.”

“Let’s do both.”

She turned her attention back to her doughnut and I grinned at Ryke when he caught my eye. I’d been nervous about bringing up the adoption, and now I wanted to jump up and down and celebrate. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom. But it wasn’t time yet. Today my only focus was Melody.

The drive home from the courthouse was surreal. I kept turning around from the passenger seat of the Land Rover to make sure she was still there. She was. My daughter was still there.

She was officially ours when we signed the papers this morning, and we were planning a huge party with family and friends tomorrow night to celebrate. I was also secretly marking another occasion: I’d made it to 20 weeks with this pregnancy – halfway through. I was past the point when I’d lost my first baby. It was bittersweet, sometimes making me hopeful and other times making me sure I was pushing my luck.

But today was about Melody. I still couldn’t believe her caseworker had been able to expedite the adoption process for us so much. She was ours now, and I wanted her to know she was safe and loved.

“I made our guest room into your bedroom,” I said. “But we’ll start fresh when we move to our new house and decorate your room any way you want. I got you a Hello Kitty bedspread since you like kittens.”

“And about a dozen pillows,” Ryke said with a smile, looking at Melody in the rearview mirror. “You’ll never be without a pillow.”

“They look pretty,” I said. “You don’t sleep with them. I mean, you can if you want to, Melody.”

She was quiet in the backseat. Probably overwhelmed. I needed to dial back my excitement, but it was hard. I’d been looking forward to this day for so long.

“I got you some books and toys,” I said. “We can play Barbies when we get home if you want.”

“I want to!” Ryke said. Melody giggled at his excitement.

“He can be our Ken,” I said. “And I’m making spaghetti for dinner since you said it’s your favorite.”

When we parked in the garage and got out of the car, Melody slipped her small hand into mine. She clutched the teddy bear I’d brought to the courthouse for her in her other hand. She was silent throughout the trip across the lobby and up to our apartment.

She came through the front door and her eyes rounded when she took in the lake view offered by our two living room walls that were all windows. Even though she’d been here several times, she still seemed awestruck.

I was glad we put off the party until tomorrow. She needed a day to adjust. We played games, baked cookies and she fell asleep early. Watching Ryke carry her into bed was another of those moments I didn’t take for granted. I’d wanted this so badly.

We were all laughing over breakfast the next morning when Ryke jumped up to answer a knock on the door.

“Who’s that?” I asked.

“I think it’s Luke.”

“Oh.” I hadn’t known he was coming over. When Ryke pulled open the door, Luke entered with his trademark smile, carrying a tiny white puppy in his arms.

“Oh! I love your puppy!” Melody said, her face lighting up. “Can I hold it?”

Ryke was beaming. “The puppy’s a present for you.”

She spun her head up to look at him. “For me?”

“Yep. This is my friend Luke. The puppy stayed with him last night so you could get settled.”

I gave Ryke a puzzled grin and he winked at me. Luke bent down and let Melody take the tiny bundle from his arms.

“Aww! Oh my gosh!” She cradled the puppy and nuzzled it against her cheek. “Thank you!”

My eyes watered while I watched her. I could already see how it was going to be. My husband planned to spoil our daughter rotten. But if any kid deserved it, she did.

“You’re my puppy,” she said softly.

“Is it a girl or a boy?” I asked Ryke.

“It’s a boy, and he’s a hockey player.”

Melody and I both laughed.

“How do you figure?” I asked.

“Look at his eyes.”

Melody held him up and we both admired the patch of black hair surrounding one of the pup’s eyes. He was pure white otherwise.

“Luke and I saw him and figured if he’s got a black eye, he must play hockey,” Ryke said. “You’ll have to think of a good name for him, Mel.”

“I think we should name him Stanley, after that one cup you told me about.”

“That one cup? That’s the only cup, sweetheart,” Ryke said. “And that’s a great name.”

I saw love in his eyes when he gazed at her, and my heart swelled. This sense of completion was so much more than I’d ever thought it would be. I wondered if there was a chance we’d end up a family of four, but the hope flickered for just a second before I dismissed it. My dream had come true when we signed the papers at the courthouse yesterday. I didn’t dare ask fate for anything more.

My chocolate ice cream cone dipped in chocolate candy coating was dripping all the way down to my fingers, and I licked it quickly to save a mess.

“I’ve never seen you like this over chocolate,” my mom said, her brows arched with amusement. She was walking with Mel and I to a downtown park on a hot summer day, with the promise of sunset still far away though it was already evening.

“I think it’s a pregnancy craving thing. I’ve been willing to maim for chocolate the entire past five months. Even in the beginning, when I was sick. I’d puke and then eat a candy bar.”

“Well, you’re doing something right, because you haven’t gained much weight outside your belly.” She popped the last of her much smaller ice cream cone into her mouth.

“Have you seen my boobs?” I gave her a pointed glare.

“I’ve seen them!” Melody stopped skipping in front of us and turned to yell loudly. “When you were getting in the shower and I came in the bathroom that one time!”

“Melody, inside voice, please,” I said, my cheeks warming.

“But we’re outside!”

We’d caught up to her now, and I put an arm around her shoulder. “Remember how there are some things we don’t talk about in public?”

“Like when people stink?”

“Right. It’s the same with … boobs, which are really called breasts,” I said. “They’re part of the personal parts that I told you no one should touch or talk about with you. Except … well, it’s okay to talk about it with me, at home.”

“Oh. Why don’t I have boobs?” She looked up at me with wide eyes and I smiled at my mom.

“You will, sweetheart,” I said. “When you get older. How’s your ice cream?”

“Good. Can I go now?”

We were almost to the playground we were walking to, and she was eyeing the other kids with longing. “You can, but remember that I need to be able to see you at all times. And no talking to strangers.”