Captured Miracle (16 page)

My body trembled without control as I shrugged the sweater from my shoulders. Letting it fall to the floor, I tried to ignore the heat of Calix’s eyes on my body as I acted his bidding. I’d never undressed so slowly, but I feared that if I moved any faster my heart would explode.

Calix didn’t seem to mind. He stood, his arms folded over his chest as he watched me bare myself to him. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t feel anything but fear - and anticipation. I had no clue what he planned on doing to me - to my body. All I knew was that I really wasn’t ready. Not mentally or physically.

Stepping out of the last article of clothing, I folded my arms over my chest to hide myself from his penetrating gaze. Pulling in a deep breath, I spoke. “What now?”

His lips curled and his command was husky. “Undress me.”

“What?” I asked in surprise. Eyeing him uncertainly, I frowned. “You want me to undress you?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Oh,” I nodded as though to convince myself I could. “Kay,”

Stepping toward him uncertainly, I lifted my hand before letting it fall back to my waist. I’d never undressed a man. Where was I supposed to begin? I had no freaking clue. Uncertainty turned to frustration that bled into doubt. I nibbled my lip and looked up at him.

He cocked his head. “You really haven’t done this, have you?”

I shook my head. “No,” my tone was soft, nearly inaudible. “You should know that already.”

“You’re right, I should know that.” He nodded. “There were so many signs.”

I didn’t bother asking what
signs
he was talking about. I had a feeling no matter how many questions I asked I would never understand Calix.

I shifted, still nibbling my lip when Calix took pity on me. “Start with my shirt.”

I nodded, happy to be told what to do. The irony of that was not lost on me. Here I was fighting tooth and nail for freedom, and yet when given what I wanted, I found I
needed
direction.

Shaking the imposing thought from my head, I reached for the top button of his shirt. My fingers were shaking so badly, I had a difficult time pushing the button through the stitched hole. Exposing inch by golden inch of toned male chest, I forgot to breathe. By the time I had reached the last button, my lungs were burning. Pulling in deep breaths of air, I looked up into his blue eyes and then forgot how to breathe all over again.

Tearing my eyes away from his, I fastened my attention back on his chiseled stomach. There was just so much of him to look at. He was considerably larger than me and he was so devastatingly beautiful. I didn’t want to continue. I wanted to stare at him for the rest of the night because I was living in an illusion where he was beautiful and this was right. When in reality, he was a monster and this was so very wrong.

“Continue, love.” Calix urged gently.

Trailing my eyes up his chest, I tucked my fingers beneath the collar of his shirt. Standing on my tiptoes, I pushed the material from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor behind him. As I leaned forward, my breasts grazed his chest and he hissed sharply. I don’t know if it was his sound, or the feel of his warmth against my sensitive flesh, but my nipples hardened and my skin pebbled as a shiver rolled through me.

Startled, I jumped away from him quickly covering my breasts. Peeking up into his face, I tried to guage what his reaction would be. His jaw twitched and I knew he was clenching his teeth the way he tended to do so often, but he remained standing still.

“Sorry,” I breathed.

He frowned. “For what?”

“T-touching you.” I whispered.

“Never apologize for touching me.” His tone was hard and from the corner of my eye, I saw his large hand fist.

Nodding obediently, I asked. “What now?”

I didn’t see it from where my gaze was trained on the floor, but I heard his smirk. “My belt.”

My heart leapt at the thought of doing anything to his belt. His belt would lead to the button of his pants that would lead to the zipper that would lead to no pants at all. And then where would I be?

Oh yes, his boxers. I would have to remove those and then there would be nothing...

“Nova?” Calix’s voice shattered my thoughts and I blinked.

“Hmm?”

“Where did you go?”

“Um, nowhere.” I murmured and he chuckled.

“My belt, love.” Calix reminded me gently. “Remove it.”

Gulping down my insecurities, I stepped forward to remove his belt. His arousal strained against the fabric of his jeans and I knew, instinctively, that I was standing on dangerous territory. Beneath my fingers, the leather of his belt was warm. Probably from being so close to this unbearably hot man all day long. Working the belt free from the loops of his jeans, I tried to ignore the pounding of my heart in my eardrums. It was so loud I could barely hear my own breathing. And I knew that was loud too. I was filled with so many nerves and all of them were strung on high. It was a horribly torturous sensation.

Dropping the belt to the floor, it clanged against the wood. “Now my jeans,” Calix said tensely as though knowing instinctively that I needed his direction.

I didn’t look up at him. Instead, I went to work at the button of his jeans. Twisting my hand, my knuckle grazed against the hard skin of his lower belly. Popping the button free, I then tugged down on the zipper. As the jean split, his imposing erection pressed forward against the black fabric of his boxers and I gasped.

Shakily, I stepped back and glanced up into his eyes. “I can’t,”

Tensely, he nodded. His hand moved forward and I stared at it as though it were a body in and of itself. I feared it separately from Calix. I feared what it would do to me - what it would make me do to him.

Gently, he closed his hand around my wrist. Looking up, I caught his eyes with my own and I knew he felt my pulse quicken beneath his fingers. His eyes widened and he breathed a slow breath from between beautiful lips. “Nova, you don’t have to fear me.”

“But I do,” I replied breathlessly.

For a moment, he looked sad. Then he shook it off and turned, pulling me behind him to the bathroom. I stood in the center of the large room as Calix turned to close the door behind him.

As he moved around the room, I couldn’t help but think
wow
. This man was gorgeous. He was magnificent, actually. And with his jeans undone the way they were - hanging from his sculpted hips - he looked devilish. The man was pure sin.

Even in under the harsh light of the bathroom he looked amazing. While I looked washed out and exposed. My every flaw was out on display for Calix to scrutinize and that only added to my discomfort in regard to this situation.

“Stop hiding from me.” He pulled my arms away from my breasts and I felt my belly flutter in fear. “Never hide from me, love.”

Searching his eyes, I tried to find compassion. Surely, he wouldn’t continue with this charade. Surely he knew this was wrong. But if it was wrong, why was there a part of me that felt accepting of this? Why did my body flutter at his touch, heat beneath his gaze, and melt from his words?

“Can you,” I paused, looking down. “I don’t know,” Calix lifted my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his again.

“Can I what?” He asked curiously.

“Can you light a candle or something?”

He straightened. “You’re uncomfortable with the light?”

I nodded shyly. “I am.”

“Why?”

Seriously? He was going to make me explain the basics of being born with an X chromosome? Basically every female on the planet was insecure her first time being naked in a mans presence - and Calix wasn’t just a man. He was my captor. My very arousing, very daunting captor. In every way, I was inferior to him. Would it hurt him so much to dim the lighting and give me even an ounce of peace?

“Because I’m naked.” I admitted sullenly. “Because you’re looking at me.”

“And you’re uncomfortable with my looking at you, why?”

“I,” Was he daft? “I’ve never had anyone look at me - like this.”

His eyes gleamed. “Do you think I don’t like what I see?”

Wide eyed, I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I hated how mousey I sounded, but I mean, seriously. These questions were ridiculous. Was he
trying
to humiliate me? Was he into that - humiliation?

Taking my hand in his, Calix guided it to his cock. I locked my fingers straight and concentrated on not passing out from nerves. “Do you feel that?” He asked, rubbing my palm over the hardness beneath his boxers. “My cocks so fucking hard for you, love.”

“Calix,” I whispered his name, trying futilely to pull my hand away from him.

“If you’re still uncomfortable after seeing what you do to me, I’ll dim the lighting.”

“After?” I frowned and he released my hand.

Calix wasted no time in shedding his jeans. When his thumbs hooked into the waistband of his boxers, I nearly had a heart attack. Instead, I forced my eyes to look up at the roof. I felt a little as though I looked like I was praying. And in a way, I kind of was. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to be here. But more than that - I prayed to remain unaffected by him.

“Look at me, Nova.” Calix commanded and I knew he had removed his last article of clothing. “See the way you affect me. I fucking pulse for you.”

His throaty words echoed in my brain, signaling the wrong message to my body. Liquid heat moved through my veins and I tried desperately to cool myself. I couldn’t believe I was so affected by him - by this monster of a man.

Slowly, I lowered my eyes to meet his. He was watching me intently, eager to see me take in his arousal - his desire for me. I however, was not so eager.

I was
flipping
terrified.

“Look down, Nova.” He voice was encouraging rather than commanding and I found I was grateful for it. However, I knew that if I were to fight it, he would force the issue the way he tended to do.

I barely breathed as I glanced down. And when I did, I gasped. He was huge. His arousal was long and hard and he had been telling the truth - it was
pulsing
. He literally throbbed as though it had a heartbeat of its own. The skin stretched over his shaft was darker than the rest of him and he looked so impossibly heavy. I wondered how it was possible for something so large to be standing up so high without help. It jutted out at me dauntingly and I swallowed.

If Calix thought I was ever having sex with him - he was one delusional man. Showing me how large he was only solidified my decision to ensure sex never occurred between us. The man would freaking tear me in two.

That thing would
never
fit inside me.

He stepped toward me and I flinched. Every muscle in my body tightened, coiling. I debated on bolting for the door.

“Do you still want me to dim the lights?” He asked softly.

Blinking, I nodded. I would take all the comfort I could get. And maybe being unable to see him so clearly would help me quell the sudden fear building inside me of his anatomy. “Yes.”

He looked almost disappointed, but he turned away from me. I watched as he walked to the door before slipping out into the bedroom. When the fireplace flamed to life, I closed my eyes in relief. I kept my eyes closed even after I heard Calix come back into the room. When he flicked off the light I knew even though my eyes were closed. Relief flooded me at the knowledge, but I still didn’t open my eyes. With them closed, I could pretend I wasn’t here. I could envision myself somewhere else. Anywhere else.

I could feel Calix standing in front of me before he spoke. The man radiated warmth like a furnace and his scent was just as hot. Everything about my captor affected me. No matter how miniscule the attribute, I never failed to be touched.

“Open your eyes, Nova.”

I obeyed. The thought wasn’t conscious. I simply acted on instinct. I was so far out of my element that the need to submit to him was visceral. Primal. Holding onto a broken thread of control was useless.

“Better?” Calix asked. I knew he was talking about the light.

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“I told you I wanted to bring you pleasure.” He moved another inch closer. The little space between us was charged - electrified. I could barely breathe.

Taking a large step back, I replied. “If you want me to find pleasure, you could release me.”

He shook his head. “Never, love.” And he took a step forward.

His hand moved quickly as I jumped to take another step away from him. Catching my wrist, he pulled me forward. Slowly, Calix tugged my body flat against his. At the feel of him against me, my blood sizzled. His hand moved to my lower back, pressing my front hard against his. The swell of his shaft throbbed against my stomach and my breasts squished against him.

“Calix,” I protested his nearness. Placing my hands on his hard pecks, I pushed myself back. “I thought you wanted a shower.”

“I do.” He smirked down at me. “But I wanted to feel you against me.”

“Let go.”

Blue eyes glimmered as he dropped his hand from the small of my back, releasing me. Surprised at his willingness to act on my command, I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him.

He said nothing as he moved across the room to the shower. I watched as he turned on the water, fixing the temperature before looking back at me. His expression was one I found difficult to trust. There was a mischievous light in his eyes I wanted to run from, but I didn’t. Because I couldn’t.

He crooked his finger at me. “Come here.”

My heart felt as though it was about to rip through my chest. Somehow, I managed to put one foot in front of the other. And then I was standing before him.

He looked pleased by my obedience. “Step in,” he placed his hand against my waist to guide me into the shower and my entire body tingled at the touch of his hand on my bare skin.

I don’t know if I stepped into the shower because he told me to, or because I wanted to step out from under his touch. I’d accepted long ago that there were some things I would never know the answer to. Some things held no rhyme or reason. I figured this scenario as one of those things.