Cartography for Beginners

Cartography for Beginners

Copyright © 2012 by Jenna Jones

All rights reserved. No part of this eBook may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information address Torquere Press, PO Box 2545, Round Rock, TX 78680

ISBN: 978-1-61040-356-6

Printed in the United States of America.

Torquere Press: electronic edition August 2012

Torquere Press eBooks are published by Torquere Press, PO Box 2545, Round Rock, TX 78680

Cartography for Beginners, a novel

By Jenna Jones

Chapter One

The moment Leo Bellamy finished introducing the band, the music began and the crowd leapt to life. Music pumped through the speakers set high in the ceiling of the theater, making the old chandeliers quiver. The amphitheater-style seats shook under the weight of the audience, and the walls echoed back the audience's voices as they sang along.

Leo moved out the way of the bassist and went backstage. He wove through roadies, Teamsters, groupies and fans as he looked for familiar faces, and wondered if he could leave now or if he should wait until intermission. He never used to leave concerts early. He used to stay all through them, through encores, through meet-and-greets and after-parties.

I'm old,
he thought.
When did I get old?

"Dad!" his son Dune called. He and his boyfriend stood by the craft services table, Micah with a plate full of little sandwiches and cut vegetables. Leo made his way through the all the people milling around to join them.

"Dunie," Leo said.  He hugged Dune quickly, and when Micah smiled angelically at him, Leo hugged him, too. "And Micah. Are you enjoying the show?"

"It's a lot of fun back here," said Dune, hanging an arm over Micah's shoulders. "The parade of humanity is fascinating."

"Thank you so much for the tickets, Dad," Micah added. Leo blinked at him.

"Oh. You're calling me Dad now. Okay." He supposed after a year together it was only right.

"Told you," Micah said to Dune.  Micah sighed, took out his wallet and gave Micah a five.

"What just happened?" Leo said.

Dune hung his arm over Micah's shoulders again. "Micah thought you'd mind if he called you Dad, I thought you wouldn't, so--"

"But you did mind, so I'll go on calling you Leo," Micah finished for him. He fed Dune a slice of celery without looking back to find Dune's mouth, and Dune kissed Micah's temple as he chewed.

"Micah, sweetheart," Leo said, "you can call me anything you want, including Dad. Excuse me, boys. I'm going out for some air."

Dune called after him, "Don't get lost. You've got the car keys."

Leo turned back long enough to wave, indicating he would not get lost and would not disappear with the car keys, and made his way out of the theater to the loading dock in the back. Roadies were loitering around the band's equipment trucks, sharing cigarettes and laughing. One of them offered Leo a smoke, but Leo shook his head and sat on the edge of the loading dock, facing away from the trucks.

The band was too loud for his eardrums, the crowd looked younger than his own son, and he didn't have anyone to cuddle and feed like Dune and Micah had each other. He supposed he could have asked someone for a date, but he hadn't met anyone he wanted to date in months. Worse, even if he still had the same someone he'd had for the last twenty-eight years, that someone hadn't liked concerts much anyway unless tuxedos, champagne and classical composers were involved.

Leo leaned his chin on his hands, and then looked up when someone groaned and lowered himself down beside him on the edge of the dock.

"You would choose the most uncomfortable place on the block," Malcolm Hughes said and handed Leo a bottle of beer.

"Thank you. I assumed it meant no one would bother me." He twisted off the cap and drank a long swallow.

"Should I leave?"

"No, you're already here." Malcolm, longtime owner of the theater, was one of the first friends Leo had made when he'd moved to San Francisco thirty-three years ago. Normally, the theater hosted productions of Shakespeare and pre-Lloyd Webber-era musicals; but four or five times a year, between play runs, Malcolm booked a concert in partnership with the radio station where Leo was the program director. For fifteen years it had been a productive and beneficial relationship, and Leo was grateful for more than the cold beer tonight. "Did Jack come?"

"Jack is here," Malcolm said with a nod. "He's dancing somewhere in the audience, I assume. I saw your boy backstage," he added. "Who was the kid with him?"

Leo swallowed his latest mouthful. "That is Micah. Dune's... significant other."

Malcolm laughed. "Significant other. Oh, my. I remember," he said, holding out his beer bottle to give his words emphasis, "when Dune was four years old and you had to watch him during a rehearsal, and he climbed onto the stage because he wanted to be an actor like Daddy."

Leo laughed. "I remember that, too. Emily recited some Hamlet soliloquies for story time and got him to take his nap in the costume storage room."

"She was always good with kids, no matter whose kids they were," Malcolm said, looking away, and Leo bit his lip.

"How is Emily doing?" he said, not sure how else to end the subject.

"Oh, you know. Hates me forever and living in style on alimony." Malcolm squinted up at the night sky, and then glanced back at the theater as a particularly loud cheer came spilling out. "Thank God I've got Jack or I'd go insane." He winced, glanced at Leo, and hastily drank some beer.

"It's fine," Leo said. "I'm fine."

"You're better off without him," Malcolm said.

"People keep saying that."

"You don't believe it?"

Leo inhaled slowly. "I believe... I don't know," he admitted. "I miss him. I was twenty-one years old when I met him. He's seen me through everything, every stage of my life, every stage of Dune's life--"

"And he still left you," Malcolm said.

Leo lightly tapped the tip of the bottle against Malcolm's forehead. "Thank you for your solace and comfort."

Malcolm chuckled and batted the bottle away. "When I figured out why I wasn't happy in my marriage I was open with Emily about it. Of course, she and my children have never forgiven me, but at least I was honest. Adam couldn't even give you that, and I can't forgive him for it. No one who cares about you can." He sipped and said, "And none of us understand why you can."

"We have so much history."

"Which he betrayed."

"He was my partner. I've been in love with him for over half my life. I can't ignore that."

"Why not? He is."

"Malcolm..." Leo sighed, frustrated. "You're not helping."

"I have no intention of helping, except to encourage you to let him go. Move on. Start dating again. Do something so your friends can stop worrying about you."

"Date who?" Leo said. "Kids Dune's age? Men my age, who are either looking to cheat on longtime partners or who are too seedy to consider?"

"Seedy," Malcolm murmured with a chuckle.

"You know what I mean."

"I know what you mean. And I am here to say if I can find love at my advanced age, so can you, you whippersnapper."

"There's only one Jack in the world," Leo muttered.

"So we find you your own Jack." There were footsteps behind them and Malcolm turned back to welcome their new companion as Dune knelt down behind Leo and draped his arms over his neck. "And good evening to you, young man."

"You remember Malcolm Hughes, don't you?" Leo said.

"Of course I do. Hello, Malcolm," Dune said cheerfully as Malcolm nodded hello, and said to Leo, "Micah and I are going out into the audience. Micah wants to dance and the groupies are laughing at him."

"All right," Leo said, patting Dune's arm as they swayed to the echoing bass beat. "Where shall we meet?"

"At the car?" He tucked his chin against Leo's neck a moment. "How late are you going to be, do you think?"

"I was actually thinking of leaving early."

"How about when you're ready to go you call my cell and we'll meet wherever. Don't you like the band?"

"I'm old," Leo said plaintively.

"No, you're not. You're my daddy. It's entirely different." Dune kissed Leo's head and got to his feet. "Come out and dance with us. It'll make you feel young."

"I'll break a hip," Leo said and waved Dune along. "Go. Dance. Have fun. Don't let your spastic boyfriend kick somebody."

"Yes, sir," Dune said, smiling. "Nice to see you again, Malcolm." He waved and went back into the theater. Leo watched him go, then sighed and drained the bottle.

"I should stay for the meet'n'greet afterward."

"Yes," said Malcolm. "It's tradition." He held out his hand for Leo's empty bottle, which Leo handed over, and got groaningly to his feet. "I usually watch the plays on the closed-circuit TV with my head of security -- want to come watch the concert with us?"

"No, I should be backstage, I think. Sponsoring station liaison and all." He waved a hand in resignation and Malcolm rubbed his head in sympathy.

"We'll talk later. Good night, Leo." He went back into the theater, humming to the music.

Leo turned to look out at the city -- his city, his first love, the first place he'd come to know himself and friendship and family and the truth about love.

And the truth about love,
he thought,
is that it's fragile, no matter how strong you thought it was.

He got laboriously to his feet, waved good night to the roadies, and went back into the theater to finish watching the show.

***

The next day was Saturday, and Leo had one of the more pleasant obligations of his life to attend. A year before, Dune's friends Laird and Tristan Marcus had had a baby girl, and today was her first birthday party.

There was a sign on the gate directing guests to come right into the back garden, where there was a long table set with finger sandwiches and mimosas, and the big pink and white cake. Pink and white balloons and paper streamers were tied to the corners and hung from the trellis surrounding the porch, and the rose bushes had bloomed with red, yellow and pink flowers. A banner reading "Happy birthday, Thomasina!" hung across the trellis with more balloons.

Leo dropped his gift on the table set up for them -- most of them wrapped in pink paper -- and went to kiss Tristan hello and shake Laird's hand. Tristan had the baby in her arms, and Thomasina patted Leo's cheeks when he said, "Hello, Tommy. You hardly look a day over ten months."

"It's hard to believe, isn't it?" said Tristan and gave Leo a quick squeeze around the waist. "My baby's getting bigger."

"They never stop being your baby, no matter how big they get." He spotted Micah and Dune talking to their friends near the rose bushes, kissed Thomasina one more time and went to join them.

"You can't keep her to yourself all afternoon," Jamie Makepeace was telling Ben Gallagher as Leo approached. "She may be your goddaughter but everybody here loves her, so allow for equal time. Her grandmother would like to play with her sometimes, too."

"Yes, Jamie," said Ben in a henpecked tone, and then they grinned at each other.

"Dad!" said Dune and hugged Leo.

"Hi, kid." He left his arm around Dune's shoulders as he asked, "What's this about equal time?"

"At Tommy's christening," said Jamie and Ben looked up at the sky, "Ben held the baby pretty much the whole time."

"I took her to everybody and introduced them to my girl," Ben said. "It wasn't like I locked her up in a tower."

"Plenty of time for that when she's a teenager," Jamie said, and he and Leo exchanged playful smiles.

"With all these uncles?" Dune said. "The poor girl will never date."

"I want to hold her," Micah said.

"Do you know how to hold a baby?" Jamie asked him, and Micah looked offended.

"Of course I do. I have a niece, you know."

Dune put an arm around Micah and kissed his temple. "And you're a very good uncle, sweetheart."