Casa Parisi (7 page)

"Not at all," Lucia said. "Technically, I own this winery. Luke works for me and he shares in the profits." Lucia sat forward and spread her hands on the desk. "Why don't you sit tight while I go talk to him? I won't be long."

"Take your time. I need to use the ladies' room."

NO MORE THAN ten minutes went by before Lucia came through the door of her office. She sat in her chair and faced Juliet. "We want you to come and work for us. If you need a day or two to think things over, go ahead and do that. I'm not going to bring anyone else in for an interview until I hear from you."

"I don't need any more time. I'd love to work for you."

"Great. That's great." Lucia got out of her chair and shook Juliet's hand as if to seal the deal. "You're our new winemaker. When can you start?"

"Would you mind if I started a week from next Monday? I have to finish out the rest of this week at my current job and then I'd like to take a week off."

"I'll put you on the payroll beginning a week from next Monday, but don't come in until Tuesday. We're closed on Mondays and since it would be your first day it wouldn't make any sense for you to come in. Luke is sometimes here on a Monday if he has to do something, but he may not do that and I may or may not be here."

"What time should I come in on Tuesday?"

"I'll have Luke meet you in the barn around eight o'clock.'

"I'll be there."

"I'm going to have him show you around and help you with whatever you need. It will take you weeks to get familiarized with the winery and the two of you can arrange to do that however you want to."

"That sounds fine," Juliet said.

"Where do you live?"

"I have an apartment in Ithaca. My address is on my résumé."

"Do you live alone or with someone?" Lucia reached for Juliet's résumé and grabbed a pen. "In case there's an emergency or something."

"I live alone except for my cat, Sabrina Star, and I told her never to answer the phone or the door if I'm not at home."

"Cute." Lucia glanced up, briefly. "Do you have any phone numbers in addition to your cell phone?"

"I only have a cell phone. Feel free to call me whenever you need to."

"The same goes for you." Lucia handed her a card. "Here's all our numbers."

"Just so you know, I'll be out of town the week of my vacation."

"Thanks for telling me, but I'm sure I won't need to reach you." Lucia stood up. "I guess we're done for now unless you have any questions."

"None I can think of." Juliet gathered her things.

"I know I speak for Luke when I say we're both overjoyed that you've decided to join us. We'll see you a week from next Tuesday."

"Thank you for choosing me. I can't wait to get started."

"We can't wait until you get started, either, but first enjoy your vacation," Lucia said. She took Juliet's hand in hers and shook it gently. "Let me walk you out."

"No need to. I can find my way."

Juliet left Lucia's office. She didn't know whether she should go over to Luke and say something before she left, so she merely paused to give him a wave when she passed by the tasting bar.

He signaled her to stay where she was and rushed over. "Well? What do you think? Did you come to a decision?"

"Yes I did. Your sister said yes and I said yes."

"Yes!" Luke hissed, pumping his fist.

TWO DAYS LATER, Lucia's friend Carolyn came to visit her at the winery. Lucia took her on a tour and when that was over, she brought her back to the barn for a wine tasting and light lunch. She had called Carolyn a pitiable two times since moving back from Atlanta, a fact she was deeply ashamed of. Adding to her shame was how she had turned Carolyn down twice, once when Carolyn had offered to meet her for dinner and then again when Carolyn invited her to her home. To her way of thinking it was a shabby way to have treated the woman who had been one of her best friends for so many years.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to invite you here," Lucia said. "I can't tell you how awful I feel about it."

"I understand. You weren't ready."

"It's kind of you to say that," Lucia said, knowing she'd been a coward. She hadn't been able to summon the courage to face someone from her past because of what it might stir up inside of her. "But I'm not sure I can let myself off the hook that easily."

"Why not be good to yourself and give it a try?"

"I will, but I need to get this out. You know what else I feel bad about?"

"You feel bad about enough if you ask me," Carolyn said gently.

"I feel bad that I've never met your partner," Lucia went on, not needing to confirm the truth of Carolyn's comment. "Why don't you bring her here for lunch? I've heard so much about her and I'm anxious to meet her."

"She'd like that." Carolyn let her pleasure show. "And you'd like her."

"Tell me more about her."

"She's beautiful. She's wonderful. And she teaches courses in food and wine pairing, special event planning and catering. She has a web site called
Through the Grapevine
and she's a regular columnist for several magazines and wine tabloids."

"What's her last name?"

"Richards. Lisa Richards."

"The name sounds familiar. I might have read something by her."

"You probably have. She's written a lot of articles about the wineries."

"I never even asked you how you met her," Lucia said.

"We met at a wine conference. We were both scheduled to speak on the first day and on the second day we were on a panel together." Carolyn's expression changed.

"You're crazy about her, aren't you?" Lucia was no stranger to the feelings that had produced the look on Carolyn's face. She'd never seen her own face whenever she talked lovingly about Devin, but from the way she'd felt inside, it had to have been the same as Carolyn's. Her mind flashed some of the other faces she had shown to Devin, distorted faces, stressed and impatient, faces with glaring eyes and tight lips. Faces she regretted to this day.

"Completely. I was attracted to her from the start and she didn't hide the fact that the feeling was mutual. The conference was about to end when it dawned on me that she'd get away if I didn't do something fast, so I asked her out on a date and here we are. She's the love of my life and I was very lucky to have found her."

"I'd know that if I had bothered to keep in touch." Lucia frowned as their eyes met. "I wanted to see you, but I couldn't handle being around anyone from my past. It didn't have a damn thing to do with you, I swear to God."

"I never thought it did and there's no need for you to be sorry, Lucia. Why don't you let it go and why don't we just continue where we left off?"

"Why don't we? I can't change what I've done, but I'll do better, I promise," Lucia replied. "Now, let me get the tray of cheese, crackers and fruit I made earlier. I want you to eat something so you can try a few of our wines."

"This is the most beautiful bar I've seen anywhere around." Carolyn said when Lucia returned with the food. She ran her hands over the glossy wooden surface and then helped herself to a cracker and a piece of cheese. "The top of it is as smooth as glass."

"Almost everything in here is made of rough old barn wood, except for the top of this bar. It's made out of natural cherry and I insisted it be very smooth and polished. "I told the carpenter we couldn't have our customers getting splinters." Lucia ate a wedge of apple and followed it with a cube of cheddar.

"No you certainly can't. No splinters." Carolyn reached for another cracker. "I have to say, Lucia, this is a beautiful winery. I can hardly believe you own it."

"Sometimes I can't believe it myself." Lucia had never thought that the events in her life would ultimately lead her to this place.

"I'm happy for you and I'm happy for myself, for selfish reasons. I like having you back in the area even though I wish it had been due to happier circumstances." Carolyn carefully selected a slice of pear. "Casa Parisi. I like the name."

"It's my home now and I wanted to name it The House of Parisi, only in Italian. The literal translation would have been
la casa di Parisi
, but I didn't want the name to sound pretentious and I didn't want it to be too hard to remember."

"Or pronounce," Carolyn said. "Most people know casa means house so they should be able to put it together." She paused and then said, "You know something? I suddenly realized that I have no idea where you actually live."

"I live in the white cottage at the bottom of the hill. It came with the winery and land purchase. It's right on the lake and I love it, although it feels quite strange to live alone after being with someone for so many years."

"Now that I have Lisa, I don't know how I lived alone for so long."

"You get used to having someone around," Lucia said.

"And all that comes with it." Carolyn paused while they shared a moment of silent understanding. "You've got a great spot up here on the hill. The gardens, the vineyards and the views of the lake--it's like your little slice of paradise."

"Devin would have loved this. I wish she were here to share it with me and at the same time I'm aware that we wouldn't be here at all if she were still alive." Lucia felt herself fading away into her private cache of memories. She and Devin dreamed about coming back to the Finger Lakes to live one day. They kept the crazy idea tucked away and pulled it out whenever their fast-paced life in Atlanta became too much for them.

Knowing Carolyn was waiting, Lucia pushed her thoughts aside. "I never thought I'd be coming back here at all, let alone without her. This whole horrible mess has been like one big cosmic joke."

"A tragic joke," Carolyn said. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost Lisa."

"I used to say the same thing."

"We all say that when we really love someone, don't we?"

"Yes we do and we all hope it's something we never have to find out." Lucia found it hard to move her mouth. She heard the thickness in her voice, the unsteadiness of her words. "Cherish every minute you have with Lisa. I don't have to tell you it can end just like that." Lucia snapped her fingers.

"No you don't." Carolyn placed her hand on Lucia's.

"All I have left of my life with Devin are my memories and they're beginning to fade a little more with each passing day." Lucia stared at their joined hands while she said that and then she lifted her eyes to meet Carolyn's.

"I didn't come here to upset you," Carolyn said. "I can see why you avoided seeing me for so long. It stirs up too much pain, doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does." Lucia let Carolyn's hand go. "But I need to talk about his. Luke says I should see a professional and I told him I don't want to do that. I'd much rather talk to a good friend like you."

"I'm right here," Carolyn said. "Any time you need me."

Lucia shook her head. "I'm not getting over this as well as I should. After Devin died I was totally devastated. I tried to be strong. I let Luke bring me home and I started a new life for myself. I went through the motions of living that life every day and yet I couldn't move on emotionally. I know I need to do that and I know that's what Devin would want me to do. She left me everything she had and I didn't deserve any of it."

"Why do you say that?" Carolyn asked.

"I took her for granted so many times. I'd get so wrapped up in that fucking job I had I'd forget to show her much I loved her. That's something I should have done every day we were together. I should have treated her as if each day might have been our last."

"She knew you loved her, Lucia. I'm sure she did," Carolyn said.

"I'm not," Lucia clutched her fist against her chest. She knew what she'd just said was a lie, but she couldn't seem to stop punishing herself, being hard on herself. "I don't know if I can continue to live this way." The frank bleakness of that declaration took her by surprise. She hadn't expected to say such a thing out loud. Having thoughts like those prowling around in the dark corners of her psyche was bad enough, but to verbalize them to someone else was even worse.

Carolyn held Lucia's hand again. "Promise me you'll call whenever things get that bad for you. Please, promise me you will."

"I promise," Lucia whispered. "It's just so hard for me to talk about it and most of the time I have no idea what I need."

"That doesn't matter. I only want to be there for you and spend time with you. I want you to be a part of my life--of our life. We haven't seen each other for quite a while, but we were close friends once and I hope we'll be close again."

"We will be. For a while there I was a total wreck and I didn't want to inflict myself on anyone. I've been hard to get along with and I've been told I've been a bitch."

"Really? I've never thought of you as a bitch. You were always one of the nicest people I've ever known."

"You remember me as I used to be."

"You're still you, Lucia. You haven't changed."

"I think I have. I've done things I would never have done before just to get through this and keep my head above water. I've been drinking a lot."

"You've done what you had to do," Carolyn said. "I don't know how you get over something like that, how anyone does."

"You don't get over it, not ever. You become someone else, a stranger who finds a way out of the darkness, a way to survive."

"What else can you do?"

"There are other choices, you know."

Carolyn took a second. "If you're talking about suicide, it's not a good one."

"I know. Otherwise I would have opted out a long time ago."

"I'm glad you didn't," Carolyn said. "No one wants to lose you."

"I know and I don't want to die anymore. I want to live," Lucia said. "I just want to feel better while I'm doing it." Lucia faced her friend. Carolyn's eyes were moist with tears and overflowing with compassion.

"You need to be with people who care about you. We'll make plans before I leave today." Carolyn sniffed. "Now hand me a tissue and let's get on with this wine tasting. You did promise I could try them all."