Cause For Alarm (13 page)

S
aturday morning the phone rang, just as Richard was leaving for the gym. “Could you get that, Kate?” he asked. “I forgot my gym bag upstairs, and I'm already running late.”

“Sure, hon.” She shut off the kitchen faucet and grabbed the dish towel, drying her hands as she crossed to the phone.

“And if it's my mother, she's missed me. I'll call her back later.”

Kate nodded and picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

Not waiting to see who it was, Richard hurried from the kitchen. He had a 9:00 a.m. session with his personal trainer, and the man did not appreciate waiting. Nor did he refund lost minutes if a client was late.

Richard grabbed the gym bag from his walk-in closet, quickly checked its contents, then jogged downstairs. He popped his head into the kitchen. “I'll be back after…Kate? What is it? What's wrong?”

Pale, visibly shaking, Kate met his gaze. She opened her mouth as if to reply, but no sound came out.

He crossed to her, heart in his throat. He cupped her elbows and shook her lightly. “Has there been an accident? Kate, has one of our parents—”

“That was Ellen,” she whispered, eyes flooding with tears. “We've been…a birth mother…” The tears choked her, and she struggled to clear her throat. “A birth mother…she picked…us.”

Richard took a step back, stunned. It couldn't be. They couldn't have been chosen so soon.

Richard searched his wife's gaze, looking for amusement, laughter at having successfully pulled one over on him. He saw neither.

But he wasn't ready.

He fought for composure, for the cool that rarely escaped him. “You're sure we've been chosen? I mean, you're certain it's not that we're just being considered, seriously considered, but not—”

“No, I'm sure. Positive. Ellen wants to meet early next week to go over what to expect.”

“But…” Richard dragged a hand through his hair, shocked to realize it shook. “But we only signed on with Citywide, not even two months ago. It's not supposed to happen this fast. They said a year, maybe more. They said—”

“I know.” Kate brought her hands to her mouth. “The baby's due soon. Early May. That's less than three months away.”

Early May?

Dear God, what did he do now?

Kate put her arms around him and pressed her cheek to his chest. “We're going to be parents, Richard. We're going to have a baby.”

He held her to him tightly. He could feel her happiness, her complete and utter joy, in the way she trembled, in the way she clung to him. He saw it in her eyes and heard it in her voice.

So, why did he feel nothing but trapped?

She tilted her head back to meet his eyes. “How do you feel?” she asked, as if reading his thoughts.

The truth would never do. He couldn't hurt her that way. He wouldn't, no matter what it cost him. “Happy, I guess.”

She laughed. “You guess?”

“Yes, definitely happy.” He searched her gaze looking for a hint of hesitation, of the weakness and fear that milked him dry. He saw none. “It's just…I can't believe this is happening.”

“Me, either. It's a dream come true.”

A dream come true. For her.

Hating his thoughts, he drew her against him once more. He was happy, he was. He just wasn't as starry-eyed as Kate. He wasn't as adventurous. As trusting. He was a lawyer, for God's sake. He saw possible complications, legal entanglements.

This could blow up in their faces. Kate could have her heart broken.

“You're quiet,” she murmured.

“I'm thinking.”

“Uh-oh.” Again she tipped her head back and laughed up at him. “Stop that. Stop looking for problems. You're going to be a great daddy, Richard Patrick Ryan.”

He smiled, drawn into Kate's joy. “What makes you think so?”

“I just know so.” She cupped his face in her palms and gazed into his eyes. “You're going to be the best daddy ever.”

K
ate and Richard met with Ellen at the Citywide offices first thing Monday morning. The meeting fulfilled a two-fold purpose: it was an opportunity for them to discuss their pending adoption; and it would serve as their first home study interview. The law in Louisiana required that a home study be completed before a child could be placed in an adoptive home. Due to the circumstances, Kate and Richard's would have to be rushed through.

Richard shifted in his seat, anxious for the interview to begin. He had a luncheon meeting scheduled with a potential campaign contributor, a midafternoon powwow with his law partners, and he was due to go to trial next week with a defense that had more holes in it than a block of aged Swiss cheese.

None of those weighed as heavily on him at that moment as the reason they were in Ellen's office.

Since the call from Ellen, Kate had talked of little but the fact that a birth mother had chosen them. She had hardly slept; she had called both their families, had even browsed through a couple of baby stores.

Her excitement concerned him. His lawyer's instinct found the whole thing damn suspicious. He reviewed the facts. Some woman they didn't know had chosen them to be her child's parents. A stranger was asking them to make a lifetime commitment to her offspring. He and Kate knew nothing about the woman, not her life-style or her genetic history. It wasn't safe. Or smart.

He had tried to present his concerns to Kate; she had laughed them off. All she could see was the carrot, not the string attached.

Richard passed a hand across his forehead. The fact was, he had agreed to adopt to please Kate. Because he had wanted to give her the one thing she desired more than any other. He had felt guilty; it had seemed simple enough, the idea of having a child rather pleasant.

Now, it didn't seem simple at all. Now, he saw the string. He saw the monster attached to the end of it.

He wasn't sure he could go through with this.

If he backed out now Kate would never forgive him.

“Good morning.” Ellen hurried into the conference room, balancing a cup of coffee and a sweet roll on top of several file folders. “Sorry I'm late. One of our mothers went into labor just before midnight.”

She set her breakfast on the table, pulled out a chair and sank onto it with a sigh. “Finally.” She took a swallow of her coffee, sighed again, then looked at them, smiling widely. “I bet you two had a good weekend.”

Kate beamed at the woman. “I've been too excited to sleep. It's all so amazing.”

“I'm very happy for you.” She smiled again, moved the sweet roll and flipped open the top folder. “And how about you, Richard? Stunned or what?”

“It came up awfully fast, that's for sure.”

“It happens sometimes,” Ellen replied. “We call them ‘fall out of the sky' babies.”

He frowned at the description. “I don't imagine falling out of the sky is all that healthy for an infant.”

She started to laugh, then realized he might not be making a joke. She drew her eyebrows together in question. “I'm sorry, I don't get your meaning.”

“I'll speak plainly, then. Is there something wrong with this baby?”

Ellen straightened slightly. “Not that I know of.”

Kate made a sound of shock; Richard ignored her. “So there's a possibility?”

Color crept up the woman's cheeks. “The mother and child have been thoroughly examined by a doctor and will continue to have the best medical care. Everything looks normal, the mother is young and healthy. Of course, something could have gone wrong in utero, something all the exams and ultrasounds in the world couldn't pick up. The same as if Kate were pregnant. Babies are a crap shoot, Richard. A game of Russian roulette.”

“This game of roulette is our lives, Ellen. I don't take that lightly.”

“Nor do I,” she said stiffly. “If I could promise you this baby will be perfect, I would. If I could promise you that this birth mother won't change her mind, I would. But I can't. The best I can do is assure you that I believe those things to be the case.”

“Of course that's all you can do,” Kate murmured, looking at Richard, a frown marring her brow. “We're thrilled at having been chosen. Aren't we, Richard?”

“Yes, thrilled.” Richard shifted in his seat. “Though I do have one last question before we move on. Why didn't this birth mother pick one of the other couples? One who had been in the program for some time?”

Ellen looked from one to the other of them. “Am I hearing some hesitation on your part, Richard? If so—”

“No!” Kate covered his hand with hers. “Of course not.”

“Richard?” Ellen persisted, shifting her gaze to him, not looking at Kate. “Just as I wouldn't place a baby in a home if I thought the birth mother had doubts, I won't place a baby in a home where the parents aren't totally committed to adoption. It wouldn't be fair, not to the child, the birth mother, or the dozen other couples on our list.”

Kate's fingers were cold; they trembled. He understood how much this meant to her. He curled his fingers around his wife's. “I'm a lawyer. I'm suspicious by nature, and I ask a lot of questions. It's what I do.” He forced a laugh. “I do wonder though, why us?”

“Yes.” Kate leaned forward, the relief in her voice audible. “Did she say why? I'd love to know.”

Ellen hesitated, then inclined her head. “She said she'd fallen in love with you. Her words.”

“In love with us?” Kate repeated. She looked at Richard, and he grinned.

“I always said we were lovable. This confirms it.”

Ellen laughed. “I know that probably sounds odd to you, she's a complete stranger, after all. But you have to understand, the process for these girls is intensely emotional. I'm sure what she meant is that she's fallen in love with your lives. With the picture she has of the life you will give her child.”

Ellen folded her hands on the desk in front of her. “Many of these young women are desperately lonely. Or coming from a really bad situation. Some of them have been deserted by a lover, some kicked out of the house by their parents, some are bucking intense family disapproval of their decision to place the child for adoption. Add to that a fear of making the wrong decision. Believing in the adoptive couple she's chosen is more than important for her. It's essential. And this birth mother believes in you, simple as that.”

“When will we meet her?” Kate asked, her voice thick with tears. “I want to thank her for this.”

The woman glanced away, then back. “At this point, you won't be meeting her. She wants the adoption to be completely closed.”

“Completely closed,” Kate repeated, making a sound of distress. “But I…I'd really hoped we could at least meet her. And all the literature on the subject says it's best for everyone, especially the baby.”

“We do prefer it.” Ellen looked from one to the other of them. “But ultimately, it's the birth mother's choice.”

“I don't understand,” Richard murmured, frowning. “Why does she get to choose? It seems to me we're a fifty-percent partner in this deal.”

“Quite simply, because she has something you, and thousands of other couples like you, want. She's in the driver's seat, Richard. Like it or not, that's the facts.”

Richard looked at Kate, then back at Ellen, frown deepening. “This doesn't feel right to me. Is there something she's trying to hide? Some reason she prefers not to meet us?”

Ellen flushed. “She has nothing to
hide.
And if she did, we would discover it and ask her to leave the program. We screen everyone involved in this process very carefully. Nothing gets by us.”

“We have complete confidence in you and the program.” Kate squeezed his fingers in warning. “Don't we, sweetheart?”

“Complete confidence, of course. We're simply disappointed with her choice of a closed adoption.”

Ellen inclined her head. “As I said before, this is an intensely emotional experience for these women. Some choose to distance themselves from it any way they can. Depersonalize it. Some change their minds when they realize the tactic doesn't work.”

“Can you at least tell us her first name?” Kate asked. “What she looks like or how old she is?”

“At this point, she doesn't wish for you to know even her first name. I can tell you, however, that she's nineteen and quite attractive. In fact, her coloring and build is similar to yours, Kate. I know that doesn't quell your curiosity, but it's the best I can do right now.”

Kate looked at Richard, then back at Ellen. “Could you talk to her? Tell her how eager we are to meet her?”

“I'll try,” Ellen murmured, “but I don't think it'll do much good. She's a very determined young woman. From what I've observed about her, when she sets her mind on something, she can't be dissuaded.”

“What she wants, she gets,” Richard murmured.

Ellen smiled. “And in this case, she wants you.”