Change of Heart (2 page)

“Excuse me?” a voice shrills from behind me. Jeez, can’t she just talk about us behind our backs like all the rest and leave us out of it? I want to keep ignoring her, but then I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around. It’s one of the popular girls, a cheerleader if the high ponytail, spanky shorts and sports bra—at seven-thirty in the morning—are any indication. Carrie something or other. She’d transferred into our school late last year, so I’m not too familiar with her—not that her kind would ever be caught with my kind anyway. She’s of average height, thin, tan, with blonde hair and blue eyes. She’s gorgeous, just not in a memorable way.

“Yes?”

“Did I see you ride here with Decker Abrams today?”

I sigh. Of course it’s about Decker. It’s always about Decker with the popular, pretty girls. We’ve been best friends for nearly all of the twelve years we’ve known each other and it still seems to surprise people. I take a deep breath and remind myself that Carrie is new, so she probably doesn’t get the dynamic. Heck, some days I don’t get it.

“Yes.” Decker has been driving me to school since we turned fifteen and our parents took us to the DMV to get our beginner’s permits. His parents even got him an old truck to drive. It’s big and red and old but he loves it, so I love it, too.

The brunette beside Carrie nudges her, and Carrie gives her a sharp glare. “Y’all aren’t an item, are you?” she directs at me.

An item? Seriously? Who says that anymore?

“No, we’re not.” I quickly glance at Decker. He is across the yard talking with his baseball friends. He laughs and his whole face lights up. Then he meets my eyes and winks. I feel the heat rush up to my face, but it turns from a blush to anger as soon as Carrie opens her mouth.

“I didn’t think so,” she smirks, briefly looking between me and Decker, before turning to walk away with her friends.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I might not be as pretty as Carrie Whatsherface, but I don’t appreciate snide remarks about my friendship with Decker.

“Casey,” Jane urges me to shut up. She knows the routine: do not engage.

“No, I want to know what she meant by that,” I snap.

I know what people think of me. I’m a plain Jane, no offense to Jane, of course. But outwardly, I’m nothing special. I know that. My appearance isn’t terrible, but I’m ordinary. My blonde hair and brown eyes are plain, boring, normal. On the inside I am a total nerd…on the path to being the valedictorian of our class, even though graduation is ten long months away. There is nothing extraordinary about me. At least nothing the other kids in school had ever found interesting enough. Anyone other than Decker. And maybe Jane.

Regardless, it still ticks me off that someone would assume I’m not good enough for someone like Decker. Especially someone who knows nothing about me, and she probably doesn’t know anything about Decker either.

Sure, he’s the most popular guy in our class. He’s athletic and smart—a double threat. Then there’s his dark auburn hair styled into a short buzz cut and his startling green eyes you can get lost in. Quite contrary to my fairly bland appearance.

But none of that matters to us. Decker is my best friend, has been since we were six years old. We’d been inseparable through all our grade school years and every summer. We’d even celebrated every single birthday together once we’d realized we were born on the exact same day—Valentine’s Day.

I bet these girls would never guess that I have a standing Valentine’s date every year with Decker Abrams. What would they say to that?

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” Carrie passes on an artificial smile and continues on her path.

“Bitch,” I mutter under my breath once Carrie is far enough out of earshot.

“What was that?” I jump as I feel his hands on my shoulders.

“Decker, you scared the hell outta me!” I turn and swat at him.

“Was she giving you a hard time?” he asks, nodding his head at where Carrie is standing with her friends. I look over just in time to see her give Decker a little wave and fight the urge to vomit.

“No, she was just asking about tutoring.” I catch Jane shaking her head at my blatant lie, but she knows I’d never tell Decker what I go through on a somewhat daily basis. And other people are smart enough not to do it in front of him—or tell him and witness his wrath. The whole redhead temper thing apparently applies to guys, too.

He eyes me for a minute, clearly trying to determine if I am telling the truth. He finally sighs in resignation and breaks eye contact with me. “Okay. You still good for a ride home?”

“Yep, Jane’s taking me home after debate.”

He looks over to her and gives his signature smirk. “Thanks, Jane. I owe you one.”

Jane flushes and looked down, quickly collecting her books. “I’m going to head to class,” she quietly says to no one in particular as she hurries off.

I bump Decker with my shoulder. “You’re terrible.”

He laughs. “What?”

“You do that on purpose,” I gesture towards Jane’s retreating form.

“I can’t help that the ladies love me.” I shake my head. Decker is just as cocky and confident today as he’d been the day we first met.

I grab my bag off the wooden bench and Decker takes it from me, slinging it over his shoulder. We walk side-by-side to the front entrance of the school. “You better be careful, Abrams, or your head might not fit through the door.”

“Ha-ha.” As he’s done since we started junior high, Decker walks me to my first period class. I know our routine will eventually change when he finds himself a girlfriend, and that’s okay. For now I’ll just enjoy every second I can get with my best friend.

“Thanks, Deck.” I smile and turn to walk into class.

“Case, wait.”

I look back at him, “What’s up?”

“You’d tell me if anyone was giving you a hard time, right?”

Ugh. Why does he have to be so stubborn?

“Of course,” I lie. “Look, I actually want to get a seat in the back in this class and they’re going to fill up fast. Anderson’s a spitter.”

He nods, accepting what I’ve told him, but I can tell he doesn’t completely believe me. “I’ll see you later, Case.”

“Bye, Deck.”

I settle into the last remaining seat in the back corner of Mr. Anderson’s classroom, surrounded by a handful of some of the smarter, popular kids. They all pause in their conversations as I walk past, then proceed to whisper to one another. I hear mine and Decker’s names more than once and sink deeper into my chair.

I can never tell Decker what I go through on a regular basis—that people tease me and talk about me behind my back. Especially since half the reason they do it is because of my friendship with him. Not only will he get angry and call them all out, but he’ll also never forgive himself for being the cause of it.

What Decker doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.

Chapter Two

Casey

Graduation

My nerves are causing my entire body to vibrate with tension and my stomach to roil. And it’s not my imminent valedictorian speech that’s causing it. I still haven’t told Decker about my plans for next year, and I hate that I’ve kept something this big from him. It’s the most life-altering thing we’ll probably ever experience together, and I’m terrified. I’m terrified I’m going to lose my best friend. The physical distance while we’re away at school will be hard enough, I just can’t handle the emotional distance he might put between us once he finds out.

Is it wrong to want to live in the now with my best friend? My best friend with benefits?

Yeah…so that’s a recent development. Recent as in it’s only been seven months—nine months since our first kiss—seven months since…you know. They’ve been pretty amazing months, too. I’m so glad we’d picked each other for our firsts. I can’t imagine any other guy I’d want to share those things with.

“Places, everyone!” Dr. Dean, our school principal, calls out.

I’m separated from my classmates—the irony of that is not lost on me—because I am sitting on the stage until I give my speech. I get in line with the faculty and guest speaker and patiently wait until we get the cue to file in. After my speech, I can sit with the rest of the class in first few rows of the auditorium.

Most high schools in the area have such large class sizes that they rent a local convention center for the graduation ceremony, but our school is smaller, more private, so our entire graduating class and our guests can fit comfortably in the school’s auditorium. If the May weather in Charleston wasn’t so unpredictable, we probably could have used our football stadium.

Finally given the cue, we file onto the stage and take our seats on the uncomfortable and ice cold metal folding chairs. I neatly cross my legs at the ankle and look out into the crowd. I know I’ll never be able to spot my parents in the large hall, but I do know exactly where Decker should be sitting. I find him easily on the far left side of the first row—alphabetically he’s second in our class, right after Julia Abernathy. I wish I could have seen him up close in his robe—I bet the dark green of our school colors really brings out the green in his eyes. He glances up at the stage and catches me looking at him. He breaks out his usual smirk and winks. I smile back and feel the heat hit my face…I’m sure I just turned eight shades of red right in front of my entire class and their families. I can’t help it though, Decker just has that effect on me.

***

“There’s my sweet girl!”

“Hey, Daddy!” I say as I finally spot my parents. I’m immediately pulled into my father’s arms, then passed off to my mother.

“We’re so proud of you,” my mom tells me as she pulls back and cups my face in her hands. “Your speech was excellent.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I look around, outside of the school is a madhouse. “Where are the Abrams?”

“They’re speaking to the Trents,” my father says. “Should be right back.”

I nod that I heard him. Mr. and Mrs. Trent are Sam Trent’s parents.  Sam and Decker are good friends and play baseball together. Sam is the only friend of Decker’s who is actually nice to me.

“Yes, Melinda and I need to take pictures of you and Decker together in your gowns since we didn’t get any this morning.”

I roll my eyes at my mom. She and Decker’s mom have been taking our pictures together for every single event and milestone since we met all those years ago. I know one day I’m going to love and cherish those pictures—especially when we’re far apart, but to do this right now, in front of my entire class, is kind of embarrassing.

“I’m gonna go look for Deck,” I tell my parents and quickly step away. I had caught sight of him talking with a couple of the guys on his team, so I make my way in that direction. As I’m walking towards where I last saw Decker, it’s not surprising that I hear Decker’s name followed by an unattractive feminine cackle. Girls are always after him, talking about him, and drooling over him.

“It’s going to happen tonight. Decker is finally going to see what he’s been missing.” The girl says, and I stop dead in my tracks.

“You sound so sure,” another girl says.

“Oh, I’m positive. It’ll make next year at USC that much more fun.”

I look around for the culprit—the girl who is certain Decker is a sure thing tonight—and my eyes land on Carrie Miller and one of her clones.

“We got this close,” she continues, holding her thumb and index finger close together, “at the last party.” Carrie and her clone break out into a fit of giggles, and my stomach turns.

She’s got to be lying. The last party Decker had gone to was last weekend. He spent the night with me after that party. He wouldn’t have messed around with some girl—with Carrie—and then came over to my house. Would he?

I turn away from Carrie and head back to where I’d left my parents. I feel nauseated and confused and I’m not so sure I want to see Decker anymore. But I know the obligatory photos are unavoidable.

“Did you find him, sweetie?” my mom asks once I reach them.

I shake my head in response, not completely trusting my voice.

“You okay?” she asks. Damn mom radar.

“I’m fine. Just a long day. I’m kind of tired.” I’ve always been honest with my parents about everything, so they have no reason to believe I’d be lying now.

“Well, you have time to rest up for the big party tonight,” she says with a smile.

“I don’t think I’m gonna go,” I tell her, looking anywhere but at her face. She reads me way too well.

“Casey Evans. This is your last high school party. You never went to any while you were in school, heck, you never went out at all except with Decker. You’re going to the party.”

Why do I have to be the only teenager in the world whose parent encourages her to go to a party where there will undoubtedly be lots of underage drinking and other shenanigans? Especially one I really don’t want to go to—not if Decker actually entertains his harem of women at them.

“There he is,” my dad says, announcing Decker’s approach. Decker is like the son my dad never had. He probably loves Decker as much as he loves me, if not more since they can do guy stuff together like fish, work on their trucks, belch, and beat on their chests. I do like to fish, but not to the degree that these two—three if you include Decker’s dad—do, they’re out on the boat nearly every weekend.

Decker throws his arm around my neck and pulls me in for a side hug. I wiggle in an attempt to get away, which is the norm, so he doesn’t suspect anything is amiss. “Great speech, Case!”

“Thanks, Deck.” I give him a small smile. I’m just shy enough that I get away with it since we’re around so many people. If it was just us and my parents, Decker would have been all over me wondering what’s wrong. He reads me too well sometimes, other times he’s completely oblivious. “Can we get these pictures over with? I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, yeah,” my mom says.

Decker and I pose just as his mom and dad walk back over. For the next twenty minutes, our moms take one picture after another. Here, there, and everywhere. Me and Decker. Me and my parents. Decker and his parents. Shots of us individually. As a group. By the time we’re done, I’m certain more than one hundred pictures have been taken with various backdrops.