Chaos (11 page)

“Point taken and I’ll think about it. I still say I’m more
right than you are but we’ll just have to wait and see.”

They continued to chat about various things until Shane and
Jesse rejoined them on the porch. “I’m all done here for today. You two ready
to head home?” Jesse asked.

On the ride back to the city, Shane seemed lost in thought.
The other three spent the time teasing each other mercilessly. Pulling up in
front of Alyssa’s building, Brett met her eyes, clearly begging her to tread
lightly with his friend.

When Jesse drove off, leaving Shane and Alyssa standing next
to his truck, Alyssa was surprised by the uncertainty on his face. “Why don’t
you come in with me?” she asked tentatively.

“I’m not very good company today. You don’t have to pretend
otherwise. I should probably just go home.”

“McKade, if I was looking for charming company I never would
have gone home with you after the reception. I’m surprised that you’re accusing
me of pretending after the big deal you made out of saying I don’t have to do
that with you. And when have you ever known me to do anything other than what I
wanted to do? I know you’ve got things on your mind and that’s fine with me.
You can talk or not, that’s up to you. If you really want to be alone, okay, go
home. I’m ordering a pizza and going to try to find a movie to watch that’s not
entirely stupid. You’re welcome to join me. I’m not being polite and I’m not
trying to force you into anything.”

“Campini, are you sure you want me around like this? It’s not
that I don’t believe what you just said but I can’t promise that I’m not going
to be worse in an hour.” He spun around and slammed his fist onto the edge of
his truck bed. “Damn if I don’t hate being like this!”

“Whoa, chill, McKade. The last thing you need to do is break
your hand or dent your truck. Come with me. I’ll leave you to your thoughts as
soon as you tell me what you like on your pizza. Now don’t think that means I’m
not going to order what I want anyway. I’m currently undecided and your answer
might help me make up my mind.” When he hesitated, she added, “I’ll let you
turn off the lights later if you’ll let me hold on to you again.”

“How can I resist an offer like that?” He managed to smile
as she slid her hand into his and tugged him toward the door.

Shane woke with a jolt, his senses on high alert. Remaining
motionless, he listened to the silence. Suddenly it dawned on him that it was
the change in Alyssa that jarred him from his slumber. She was next lying next
to him, pretending to be asleep but he could feel her fear. He heard how rapid
and shallow her breathing was and could tell she’d been awake for some time.

Hoping not to frighten her even more, he stretched first to
remind her that she wasn’t alone. Rolling to face her, he whispered, “I told
you to wake me.” When Alyssa didn’t respond he sat up and turned on the light.
Instantly he took in how pale she was. Her teeth were clenched. Her eyes were
held tightly shut and her hands were in fists.

Shane slid so he was sitting and pulled her to his lap,
holding her securely against his chest. “What are you doing, Pixie Queen? We
had a deal.”

“I’m fine,” she said in a small voice, refusing to raise her
head.

Shane let one hand gently stroke her back, trying to relax
some of the tremendous tension he felt. “I’m so sorry for this, Campini. I
should have just given you those lights and kept my mouth shut about the rest.
I never should have asked you to sit in the dark with me yesterday.”

She was surprised by the tenderness in his voice. “McKade.”

“Sh, don’t say anything. I was being my usual selfish, macho
jerk. I pushed you to give it a try even though I could tell you didn’t want
to. I thought I could be a hero and make everything better for you just by
declaring that I’d keep you safe. I overlooked the fact that you’ve been living
with this for years. I had no right to assume that I could fix it for you in an
instant. I was wrong. I am truly sorry and most of all, I hope I haven’t made
it worse for you. I don’t deserve it but I’ll ask anyway. Can you forgive me?”

“Shut up, McKade. For God’s sake, don’t start beating
yourself up about this.” She sounded angry, just as he had been hoping for. “I
woke up and went to the bathroom in the dark for the first time since I was
four. I thought I’d be bold and not touch you when I got back into bed. It was
okay for a little while but then I started listening for Marines who I know
aren’t going to pop out from under the bed and I got spooked. I could have
switched on the light or I could have moved a foot and snuggled back against
you. I would have been fine if I had done either and I knew you wouldn’t mind
if I woke you. I decided to see it I could tough it out. I wanted to be able to
tell myself that I had nothing to be afraid of and I pushed myself. I really
was fine for the first five minutes I was awake and I felt free in a totally
new way. You gave me that so don’t you dare act condescending and take that
away from me.”

“You got up and walked around in the dark?” His voice was
full of wonder.

“Yeah. I did.” He could hear that she was smiling.

“Wow.” He put so much meaning into that one word that she
had to look at him. “You amaze me, Campini. I think you might be the fearless
cousin after all.”

“Ha! Wrong, but thanks for saying so.” She relaxed back
against him, absently running her hand over his shoulder. “I’m glad you woke up
but why did you?”

“Something felt out of place.”

“Is that a cop thing?”

“Maybe. Or it could be a leftover big brother reaction. I
don’t know really.”

“Hmm, you’ll have to be sure to include that ability on your
resume for your career woman hunt. If they doubt you, have them call me. I’ll
vouch for you.”

“Gee thanks, Pix.” He laughed softly at the thought of that
conversation. “You gonna vouch for my other attributes too?”

She giggled as she shifted to face him. “I’m sure that would
go over well. They’d be thrilled to hear your former lover going on and on
about how talented you are.”

“Why thank you. I’m honored that you noticed.” He winked at
her. “Perhaps I should show you again, just to make sure you don’t forget.”

“Like I could. Then again,” she wiggled in his lap, “I’d
hate to leave out the one thing that might tip the scales in your favor, so
maybe you should. I suggest you start with one of those deceptively lazy kisses
of yours that sneaks up on me and makes me feel it all the way down to my
toes.”

“You think so? They’re better than the kisses where I tease
the corners of your mouth and make you wait for full lip action?”

Alyssa pretended to give his question serious thought.
“Maybe I need some of each so I can compare them again.”

“Absolutely. I want you to be fair. I’d hate you to
misrepresent me when the time comes.” He was glad she was back to teasing him,
all traces of her tension gone. Too bad she chose the idea of him with someone
else as their topic. The thought of any other woman in his arms had no appeal
whatsoever while he was with her.

* * * * *

“If you’re trying to aggravate the hell out of me, Campini,
you’re doing a damn good job of it!” Shane couldn’t believe how stubborn she
was being.

“Me!” She sounded so mad that Shane half expected her to
take a swing at him. “Go to hell, McKade! What was I thinking these past few
weeks? I’ve lost my fucking mind! Well that’s it. Get out!”

Shane took a step back and held up his hands in surrender.
“Truce. Please.” He waited, hoping she would calm down. “I don’t understand why
you’re so furious at me. All I did was offer to let you use my truck while I’m
at work. I thought you might come up with some last minute things you need for
your trip. I didn’t want you to be stranded. Will you please explain why my
trying to be helpful pisses you off like this?”

Alyssa stared for a minute before she stalked around the
room, her glare never leaving him. Unexpectedly, she flopped into a chair,
facing away from him. “I don’t know why. It just does, okay? Are you
satisfied?”

“Well, as long as you have such a good reason.” He shrugged,
giving her an innocent look when she peered at him.

Shane saw her shoulders shaking and realized that she was
fighting not to laugh. Soon she was unable to contain herself. She laughed so
hard that tears were streaming down her cheeks. “I think it’s good that I’m
leaving in two days. If I wasn’t we’d probably kill each other before the
weekend.”

“We wouldn’t if you were capable of being reasonable.”

“Don’t push me, McKade.”

“Sorry.” He sat down across from her, leaning his elbows on
his knees and studying her. “I really was trying to be nice. It’s only for one
day. I don’t get why my offer set you off.”

“I don’t like being dependent. Ever. For any reason.”

“Christ, Campini, using my truck for a day doesn’t make you
dependent. I know you’re entirely self-sufficient and more than capable of
taking a cab if you need something. I just thought you might not want to spend
time waiting around for one. I thought last minute needs were more spontaneous
and I wanted you to not be frustrated and rushed. Just forget I offered.”

“Actually it was kind of nice of you. Sorry I took it the
wrong way. If you don’t mind I will borrow it, even though I really think I
have everything I’m going to need. Thanks.” She flashed him the sweetest smile.
“What time do you want me to pick you up?”

“Five? I’ll call you if I get tied up and won’t be ready.”
Shane looked as if he was waiting for her to start yelling again.

“Relax, stud. I’m over it.”

“For now.”

“Yeah, for now so don’t start anything.”

“I’ll try but, since I didn’t think I was starting anything
in the first place, that may be a little difficult.” Shane watched her
shoulders slump ever so slightly and moved to sit next to her. Taking her hand
in both of his, he asked, “You okay, Pix? This is me here so don’t try to be
tough about something if you’re not.”

She sighed and surprised him by crawling onto his lap,
clearly wanting to be held. “I guess I’m a little nervous. I don’t know why I
agreed to do this. I’ve never been particularly fond of thunderstorms so why am
I about to spend maybe the next two months surrounded by them? What the hell
was I thinking? I can’t do this.”

“Sure you can and the results will be unbelievable. I’ll
tell you why too.” He paused until she nodded. “You accepted this challenge,
knowing full well that at times your personal comfort will be severely
compromised, because the results you achieve are going to outweigh that beyond
belief. You know that by seeing your photographs more than one inexperienced
storm chaser wannabe will change their minds and stay home, thus remaining
alive. What you do will make a difference, somewhere, somehow and you know it.
That’s why you’re going to spend tomorrow packing and repacking, frantically
obsessing and ending up with your original choices in your bag when you notice
that you only have eight minutes before you’re supposed to meet me to take me
home.”

“Shut up, smart ass.”

“Does that mean I’m right?”

“Close enough and if you tell anyone I’ll come back here and
hurt you in ways you can’t begin to imagine.”

“I just love it when you get fierce, Pixie Queen. Don’t
worry, this secret is safe with me too.”

“It better be or I’ll tell everyone you work with that you
take bubble baths.”

He pretended to be horrified. “No! Please. I promise. Not
one word about any of it.” He hesitated before continuing. “You probably don’t
believe me but it means a lot that you trust me enough to tell me these
things.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, well. I could say the same to you so I
guess we’re even.” This was entirely too serious. She had to change the
subject. “I like this, McKade.”

“You lost me again. What do you like?”

“The way you make it feel okay that I’m shorter than the
rest of the world. Every time I changed schools the town kids teased me about
being an army brat. They didn’t even know the difference between the army and
the Marines most of the time, not that it mattered. I was always put in the position
of needing to defend myself, even though I was a girl.”

“Ah. Another reason you always want to appear tougher than
the rest of the world.”

“You got it. Kids can be so cruel. No wonder the world is so
screwed up. All the natives who tormented me by saying that there was no way my
dad could ever fight anyone when he couldn’t even make a normal-sized kid. It
didn’t even change when I got older because I fought instead of putting out. I
got the reputation of being so openly hostile that the other kids from the base
avoided me most of the time too.”

“Campini,” Shane said, tightening his grip on her. “I don’t
suppose you ever told anyone about this either.”

“I just told you, didn’t I? Anyway, what I was trying to say
is that it’s nice that you cuddle me like this. It makes being short not so
bad.”

“I’m honored that you feel that way but I should tell you
something. I think, Pixie Queen, that you are the perfect size. Anyone who
can’t see that is either incredibly dense or just plain jealous. I should also
mention that it thrills me to hear you say that you like this because I love
it. Face it. We fit together in more ways than I thought possible.”

“Watch it, McKade. You’re starting to sound like you really
are going to miss me.”

“You know what? I am going to miss you and I don’t even mind
admitting that to you.” Shane had to laugh at the stunned expression on her
face. “Speechless, Campini? I never thought I’d see that.”

“Don’t wreck that admission you just made by turning back
into a jerk. You’re making me forget that I was trying to make up for going
ballistic earlier. Before you totally blow it why don’t we go eat?”

“Sure thing. How are you going to survive the next few
months? On the specials I’ve seen, it never seemed that food was a high
priority.”

“You should know the answer to that. Cookies, McKade,
cookies. You can survive indefinitely as long as you have a couple of packs of
cookies.”

“You’re right. I should have known. In that case, I’m going
to have to insist on making sure you have something well balanced and
nutritious tonight. For that matter, I’m going to feed you tomorrow too so
don’t make any plans for dinner.”

“That’s awfully presumptuous of you. What if I want to say
goodbye to some of my friends since it’s my last night in town for a little while?”
She hopped off his lap and began pacing around the room.

“I’m your friend and I need to be said goodbye to so I’ll be
happy to come with you.”

“Maybe that’s not the sort of friend I meant.”

Surprising her with his speed, Shane trapped her against the
wall. “If you had that sort of friend at the moment we wouldn’t have spent the
last three weekends indulging our bodies the way we have. We both know it so
stop messing with me. I’m not going to let you provoke me again before you go
so please, don’t waste our time trying.” He lowered his head and kissed her
thoroughly. “If you want to spend time with your friends then do. You should
have said something before. I didn’t mean to monopolize you.”

“You gotta stop being so agreeable. It’s just too weird.
Besides, I wasn’t totally serious. I’d like to stop and see Max, if you have
time. I have those pictures for his parents and I wanted to make sure they have
them before I go just in case…”

“Good idea. I’m sure Max wants to see them too.”

“Actually, I made him an album just for him with things I
thought he’d like to have. Do you think that’ll be okay?”

“I’m sure that’ll be fine. He’s going to love it. You know
how proud he was, being Jordan’s best man. I bet he takes it with him to show
all the nurses when he has his next doctor’s appointment.”

“McKade?” She frowned just before she rested her cheek
against his chest. “If Max…” She took a deep breath. “If Max dies while I’m
away, will you call me? I want to be here for the funeral if I can and his mom
told me that he won’t last that much longer.” She tried to swallow the tears
that welled from her question.