Chaos (3 page)

Tracie

I’m cleaning up the bar and taking inventory when Lucy walks, or more like waddles in. She’s six months pregnant but the girl is all belly.

“Hey! Where’s your shadow?” I laugh knowing that where Lucy is Whip won’t be far behind. Aside from the fact that she’s pregnant, the boys aren’t any closer to figuring out who broke into the club.

“He’s outside talking to yours.” She smiles at me.

My mood drops. Damn, Torch has been a thorn in my side. Every time I turn around he is there. “That boy needs to get a life.”

“I think he’s trying to, but you’re making it difficult for him.”

I stop wiping the bar. “Seriously, Luce? I told you I want nothing to do with him. I actually have another date with Randy tonight.” I thought he would have never called after dinner a couple nights ago, but he has.

She tilts her head at me. “Come on, Trace. You aren’t serious about him.”

“Why wouldn't I be?” I throw my hands in the air. “He has a good job, a house, and doesn’t have to worry about looking over his shoulder or having people watch out for his family when there is a threat. He’s safe.”

“There it is.” She slams her hands on the bar. “I get that you’re scared, but that’s no reason to settle.” The door opens and the boys walk in. “This is so not over.”

“Yeah, whatever you say. You ready to go get our dresses?” Lucy’s wedding is in two weeks and today she is picking up her dress, while Nikki, Lily, and I are getting ours. As long as I’ve been in the club I don’t know that we have ever had a wedding like this. Sure members have gotten married, but we’ve never done the whole, bridesmaids, church, reception thing. I told Luce she better make sure the church is made of brick because with all the people we are bringing in the shit might crumble to the ground.

“Yes!” She practically jumps off her chair in excitement.

We walk toward the door and I catch Torch following us. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m following you girls. Whip can’t because Luce freaked out about him seeing her dress.” He smiles at me before walking by.

“Twisted will be there, we don’t need you.” I place my hands on my hips, knowing I’ve found a way out.

“Sorry, princess. He’s got a meeting. He’s just dropping Nikki and Lily off.” Goddammit. He disappears out of the door as I look over at Lucy.

She mouths the word sorry to me before walking outside. I get into my car and drive off knowing before I even look in the mirror that Torch is there.

“Why are you so against him, babe?”

I look over at my friend. “Not today. Let’s just have a good time. Plus, you are already getting me to put on some girly crap, I think you’ve done enough for today.”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t like them.” The dresses Lucy picked out are a shade of violet and floor length. They are halter cut and hug our forms before becoming looser at the bottom. They’re pretty, but I’ll never tell her that.  I enjoy giving her shit too much.

Lucy and I first met when she was fourteen and I was twenty-one. She found the club by accident and had begged for protection from her crazy ass family. It’s how she and Whip met, he was assigned to watch over her till she was legal, and the rest is history. I used to give her so much shit but that’s the way I am. Honestly if I’m nice to you that’s when you should really watch out. We pull up to the shop and I see Twisted standing outside with Nikki and Lily.

Those two are a whole other story. He fought tooth and nail for that girl, literally. Lily is the spitting image of her dad but with her mother’s personality in every way. I used to think he would never find anyone until I met Nikki. The girl had no filter and as much grit to her as Twisted. They are perfect for each other.

We get out of the car and Lily comes running up to me jumping into my arms. “Aunt Race!” I pick her up laughing. She’s called me that since she was too little to pronounce my name and now she just sticks with it.

“Hey, babe. You being good?” I put her down.

“Always!” She winks at me with a smile before running back to Nikki.

“All right, babe, I gotta get out of here. Torch is gonna make sure you get home and if I’m not done I’ll have someone come by the house.” He gives Nikki a kiss before giving the rest of us a wave goodbye.

“Why we still standin’ out here? Dresses are inside!” Lily runs into the store and I look over at Nikki with a smile.

“God help me.” She follows her daughter in the store.

We’re all dressed and are waiting on Lucy to come out in hers. She’s been nervous about how it will fit with how fast her stomach has been growing, but I know that it will look great on her.

She comes out and I swear the girl has never looked better. It’s a long, white, flowing dress. She chose empire waist because it would work best with her growing belly. The straps are jeweled and the place where the dress cinches under her chest is also jeweled. Standing next to my best friend I couldn’t be happier for her. If anyone deserves this happiness it’s Lucy.

“Aunt Luce?” Lily tugs on the side of Lucy’s dress and we look over at her. “Maybe I should sit under your dress during the wedding.” All of us are completely speechless not really knowing what to say.

“Lily, why would you do that?” Nikki asks.

“In case the baby falls out I could catch it.”

The room erupts in laughter.

“You guys decide on a name yet? I still vote for Mary.” Lucy gives me a dirty look. Mary is the nickname I gave her when she came to the club because she was so pure and innocent.

“I already told you there is no way in hell I would name the baby Mary.” She nudges my shoulder making me teeter in the heels I’m wearing.

“I still think you and Uncle Whip should call her Princess. Aunt Race likes it too!” Lily smiles.

I laugh “Oh I do?”

She nods quickly. “Yeah, whenever Uncle Torch calls you Princess, your cheeks get red.”

Everyone gets quiet and all eyes are on me. Kid is too damn perceptive.

“Oh really?” That voice. Torch would choose now to walk in. “You noticed that too, huh, little mama?”

Kill me now. Right here.

I refuse to turn around. Lucy is smiling at me and Nikki can’t help but laugh. They’re all goddamn traitors. I walk into the dressing room.

Stupid dress.

Stupid Torch.

When I walk out everyone else is getting undressed and it is just me and Torch. I walk up to the register to pay for the dress.

I can feel him watching me.

“You know you’re only delaying the inevitable right?” His breath is hot on my neck.

“If by the inevitable you mean me shoving my knee into your balls, then I could stop delaying it if you want.” The girl ringing me up gasps as her eyes grow wide.

“Keep up this little act all you want. Eventually you’ll give into me and it’ll make all this back and forth worth it.”

I turn to respond but he's no longer standing behind me.

Avoiding that man is like a full time job and sometimes I just want to quit.

I imagine what it would be like to be with him.

Every time I do though I imagine myself on that road, the rain pouring down, the life slowly draining from my body like the water draining off the road.

I don’t know which option is worse.

Being with him.

Or being without him.

Tracie

I got a text from Twisted asking if I could babysit Lily so that he could take Nikki away for the night. I told him no problem, it’s not like I have a life or anything. I saw Randy again last night but it was the same thing as always. Dinner, dull conversation, going home to take care of myself.

Of course since I’ll be there tonight so will Torch. My nerves are running high knowing that we will both be in the same house all night long with each other. Sure we are both at the clubhouse a lot of times, but that’s different. We aren’t alone.

I walk in and Lily runs to me like she always does. I’ve never been someone who wanted kids but this little girl makes me question that sometimes.

“Thanks for doing this, Trace.” Twisted walks into the room with a duffel bag in his hand.

“No problem.”

Nikki comes walking out and doesn’t look like a woman excited to be getting a night away.

“You okay, Nik?”

“Mommy’s mad because daddy has a pig head.” Lily skips off to her room and I can’t help but laugh.

“Can’t ever say the kid is oblivious.” I walk over to Nikki. “They’re all pig-headed. Don’t pretend like you haven’t known that shit for years.”

She cocks an eyebrow at me. “Yeah, don’t pretend like you haven’t been avoiding that shit for years.” Her eyes go past me to the door where I’m sure Torch is standing.

“I hate you.”

She gives me a hug goodbye. “You don’t, but thanks for watching the monster. Lily, we are leaving, baby!” Lily runs out giving her mom and dad hugs and kisses.

“Uncle Torch!” She runs over to him giving him a huge hug. “Can we watch Frozen?”

“Jesus, good luck with that shit, man,” Twisted says before he walks out of the house.

“We can do whatever you want, baby girl.” He puts her down and I can’t help but smile at the way he is with her.

“Okay! I’ll go get it!” She runs off and it’s just the two of us.

Neither of us says a word. The room has a charge to it. A force that feels like if we lit a match the whole place would explode. It’s been like this with us for years, which would be why I’ve always avoided him.

“Got it!”

Lily puts the movie down as Torch gets a takeout menu and orders pizza and wings.

Once the movie starts with a song, Torch groans next to me. “They sing the whole movie, Lil?”

“Um, yeah!” she says like he just asked the stupidest question ever.

The pained look on his face makes me laugh.

After a half hour or so the food comes. He ordered two pizzas and two orders of wings: one barbecue and one hot. He hands the barbecue order to me “Here, these are for you and Lily.”

“How do you know I wanted these and not the hot ones that you have?” I don’t generally enjoy spicy things but I just like to give him a hard time.

“Trust me when I say that you can’t handle what I have,” he mumbles as he walks past me and into the living room.

“Oh really? You wanna make a bet?”

His face lights up. “A bet? You sure about that, princess?”

No. “Yes.”

“And what would the terms of this bet be?” He raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug my shoulders. I hadn’t thought about this. “How about the sleeping arrangements tonight?” Torch and I had been fighting all day about where he was sleeping. Twisted and Nikki only have two rooms: Lily’s and theirs. I told him he’d be on the couch and he kept telling me that he’d be in the bed.

“How many do I need to eat?”

He smiles at me. “One”

“Deal.”
You’re an idiot.

He opens his container spinning it on the table till it faces me. The orange tinted chicken taunting me.
You can do this. You might not like spicy stuff but you can eat it. It’s just one wing.

I uncap my water making sure it’s in reach. Taking a deep breath, I bring the wing close to my mouth, here goes nothing. I take a bite.
This isn’t that—HOLY FUCK
.

I want to scream but my mouth still has food in it. I grab the water filling my mouth with the liquid.
OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod
.

I can’t breathe.

I quickly chew and swallow the piece of demon flesh in my mouth.

“What the hell is this shit?!”

I down the entire bottle of water but it doesn’t help.

At this point I’m jumping up and down hoping for some insane reason that this will help.

“My mouth feels like the fires of hell!”

I go running for the kitchen turning the faucet on cold and leaving my mouth open under it so the water is just running into it. I can hear Torch and Lily laughing.

“What did you do to me?” My eyes are watering, my nose is running.

I grab another water bottle drinking half of it.

“My insides hurt. It feels like I’m having a goddamn heart attack!”

The both of them are red-faced on the couch having the time of their lives.

“It’s not funny!”

I drink the rest of the water while I grab a few ice cubes sticking them in my mouth.

I walk back over to him. “Eat one,” I say through a full mouth of ice.

He smiles picking up a wing, which I’m still convinced came from some sort of a hellhound. He takes a bite, eating almost half of it at once. As he chews, I’m waiting for it to hit. For him to collapse, burst into flames, something.

Nothing.

“Are you possessed?”

He laughs again.

“Aunt Race, do you want some of my barbecue chicken?” Lily holds out the takeout container to me. Little traitor.

Torch smiles up at me. “You finishing that?”

I look down at the chicken wing with the small bite taken out of it. Heart attack or sleeping next to Torch? It’s not as easy of a decision as you would think.

I pick up the offending wing, take a deep breath, and throw it right at his face.

I wash my hands, making sure all traces of that horrible shit is off of me.

Somehow he managed to eat the entire container of those wings and I have to admit I was a little impressed. The movie continues with Lily getting up during each song, dancing and twirling to the music. When the movie is over, it’s finally time to tuck her in. I read her a story and say good night.

When I walk back into the living room, Torch is cleaning up the takeout mess, so I help before the two of us go sit back down on the couch. He lands on some scary movie and I look over at him.

“Let me guess. I’m supposed be scared and come cuddle with you?” I roll my eyes.

“If I didn’t know your attitude was a defense I would be offended.” He holds his hand over his heart.

I shake my head. “A defense for what?”

“A defense against me. Against what I make you feel. Against what is between us.” With each sentence his voice gets deeper.

I stand up needing to leave the room. Torch catches up with me in the hallway. His hand grabs my arm and spins me toward him. His other hand comes to rest at the back of my neck as he steps forward pushing me against the wall.

“Tell me why? Why do you fight me so much?”

My heartbeat speeds up, because he is so close to me and as much as I hate it I like it. My anxiety rises from the position we are in and the memories it holds.

“Because I don’t want you. You’re like my brother.” I spit it at him, hoping it cuts him enough that he lets me go.

He smiles before his mouth crashes against mine. His tongue forcing its way into my mouth. He puts all the passion he’s been holding into me and it takes my breath away. My hands grip his T-shirt, and I thank God that the wall is behind me to hold me up. He is coaxing me, his tongue stroking my mouth, eliciting a moan I didn’t know would escape.

“That feel like your fucking brother?”

His phone rings breaking the silence of the hallway and making both of us jump.

“Shit.” He releases me and digs it out of his pocket. “We are not done.” He points at me before walking toward the front door and answering the phone.

Yes, we are.

We have to be.

That felt too good for me to let it happen again.