Chaos (4 page)

Torch

I get off the phone with Whip and head inside to find that Tracie isn’t there anymore. Of course not. As much as I wanted to I couldn’t ignore my phone. With everything that’s going on right now it could be important. I flip open and closed the silver lighter in my hand. Watching the flame appear then putting it out each time. Controlling the uncontrollable. It’s amazing the fear I still feel every time I see a flame. The way it forms a pit in my stomach but the excitement I get when it’s my hand that starts or stops it. I can still hear them when I close my eyes. The way they screamed. The blackness that could swallow you whole if you let it. A cold breeze catches me, jolting me out of my own head.

I shut the door making sure it’s locked. There has been buzz of a new MC that’s been forming. Stupid motherfuckers who watched too much goddamn TV and now they think they’re badasses. They’ve been hitting different spots around town, no doubt trying to build up their bank and give them something to work with. Problem is everyone we talk to has no idea who they are. They call themselves the Black Ghosts and that’s just what they are, fucking ghosts. The other places they hit were identical to what happened at the club. We know that it’s them and now they’ll pay.

We will eventually find them, but guys like this can be dangerous. They want to make a name for themselves and to do that they think they need some sort of big act. Something to show the other clubs not to mess with them. That’s the biggest reason none of us will leave the girls alone. They all think it’s just because of the break in, that’s just because we can’t tell them this other shit.

Twisted took Nikki away but is also having a late night meeting with a few other VPs at that hotel. It will be in the middle of the night and hopefully Nikki doesn’t catch him sneaking out or in because she’ll probably beat his ass.

I knew once Twisted told me the plan for tonight that I would try to get Tracie to see how things could be. That if she would just stop pushing me away we could be amazing.

Kissing her tonight gave me a taste and now I’m ravenous.

I need her and I can’t take no for an answer anymore. I’m going to get her to tell me why she is so intent on keeping ten feet between us. This game has been going on for years now, and it’s getting old. I’ve been giving her the space she needed, it hasn’t worked. I’ve let her see how none of these other guys she busies herself with can do anything for her, it hasn’t worked either.

I watch one of the prospects flirting with Tracie and my blood starts to boil. If he lays one finger on her I swear to God I’ll rip his damn hands off. She is laughing and leaning into him, and then she glances over at me. A smile crosses her face. She’s trying to make me jealous. “Jones!” I yell and the prospect quickly runs toward me and away from Tracie. He stands in front of me waiting for orders. “You ever talk to her again and patching in won’t be a possibility because I’ll have your ass buried six feet under within minutes.”

His eyes grow wide as he gives me a nod and walks away.

“What the hell?” Tracie comes stomping over to me.

“Just making sure the prospects know their place.” I shrug.

“It’s not your place to scare off guys I talk to! We aren’t together.”

I grab her arm pulling her close to me. “Yet. We aren’t together yet. That shit will change.”

I need to just stop beating around the damn bush and make her see how good this could be. There is so much fear and shit in her eyes when I look at her and it is the reason I haven’t pushed before.

All I need is for her to just let me in once and she’ll see that there is no reason to be scared. I know part of the shit in her head has to do with that asshole, Viper. Luckily, he won’t be coming around anytime soon. The club kept tabs on him after he was kicked out. He wrecked his bike a couple years ago and died in the hospital. I know Shooter said he told Tracie but I don’t think it matters in her head, he’s still real in there.

I walk into the bedroom to see her lying under the covers, her eyes closed. I stare at her chest seeing the quick rise and fall, she’s faking.

“If you think you’re fooling anyone, you’re kidding yourself. I’ll let you think you’ve won for tonight though.” I move to the other side of the bed taking off my cut and put it on the back of the chair. I lift my shirt over my head and drop my jeans to the floor before slipping in next to her. “We both know that I’m the one who really won.”

I wrap my arm around her feeling her tense. I’m about to pull away when she relaxes against me.

That’s my girl.

Tracie

I hold onto Torch’s waist as we ride. Whenever we are on his bike it’s like we are one person. We move in sync as we take the turns. I rest my cheek against his back, a smile gracing my face. This is all I’ve ever needed. That’s when I hear her voice, my mom. “I tried to warn you.”

The back tire skids out from under us and all of a sudden Torch is fighting for control. We start to lean sideways before we completely flip over. My arms lose him as I fly through the air, my body flipping repeatedly each time smashing against the hard gravel.

I land on my back, a scream ripping from my chest. My head flops to the side and I see Torch. His head is bent at an unnatural angle. There is blood all over his face. I scream for him but he doesn’t even flinch. I can feel myself drifting away, my hold on this earth and my vision fading in and out. The raindrops stinging my eyes as they taunt me knowing I can’t move enough to take cover from them. Knowing that even after I leave this world they’ll still be here.

I should have listened to her.

I should have stayed far away from this life.

“Aunt Race!” I jump when Lily comes in the room. I’m breathing quickly and shaking.

“Hey, Lil, how about you meet me in the kitchen and we’ll get some waffles?” Torch says from next to me. She nods and walks out of the room.

It felt so real. I felt like I had died. My hands skim my body as if I’m checking for injuries.

“Hey.” Torch’s hand touches my shoulder and I jump. “Sorry, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I-I’m fine.” I stand up fixing my clothes and running out of that room as fast as I can before he can ask another question.

Standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror I try to get a hold of myself.

You’re fine. It was just a damn dream.

“Tracie!” A bang on the door makes me jump.

I open the door to see him standing there in only a pair of sweatpants. I pause for a moment because no matter how annoying he is the man is definitely a sight to look at. “Jesus, don’t you have anything better to do?”

“No, not really. What is going on?”

“Nothing.” I cross my arms over my chest.

“Bullshit.”

“None of your business.” My irritation is growing and all I want him to do is get the hell out of my way.

He smiles at me. “Bullshit again.”

“Oh yeah? Why the hell is it your business?”

He takes a step closer to me so that we are basically nose to nose. “Because everything to do with you is my business.” He places a kiss on my lips before taking a step back. “Now come eat my food, woman.”

I stand there not knowing what to do for a minute. I need to push him away. I let him in last night and then look at what I dreamt about. I’ve never had one like that. It’s a sign. Our relationship could only result in tragedy. I have to make him give up on me, not like that’s been easy.

I walk into the kitchen to see him and Lily sitting at the table with plates of waffles and see an empty plate and chair for me. “You made all this so fast?”

“Well, no. Eggo did, I used the microwave though.” He motions for me to sit down.

“I poured the syrup!” Lily shouts.

I totally could have figured that given there is about an inch of it on my plate. “Thank you,” I say to him. Giving him up is going to suck.

After a couple of hours Twisted and Nikki come home and we are relieved of our duties. “You have any plans tonight, Trace?” Nikki asks as I grab my stuff.

“Not yet, I think I might end up hanging out with Randy again.”

I hear a deep groan from behind me and I don’t have to turn to know who it is. I don’t have plans with Randy. I need him to hate me. I need him to think after he tried that I still don’t care. I need him to buy the lie.

“Okay, well if you end up bored, Lucy is going to come hang out for a girl’s night.”

“All right, thanks!” I say as I walk out the door and head to my car.

“Tracie!” I hear him calling me, but I don’t stop. I don’t want to face him. I open my door just to have it slammed closed. “What the fuck, Trace?”

“Excuse me?” I turn to face him.
Don’t let him see you crack.

“You really gonna go see that asshat? After last night, after I made everything clear to you, after—”

“Yeah, I am. I told you I’m not interested.” I hold his gaze for a few seconds before turning and letting the mask fall. I fumble with my keys trying to remain strong.

“Yeah, well, you’re a fucking liar.” I hear his footsteps and breathe a sigh of relief that he gave up. As I get into the car, my eyes fill with tears that I refuse to shed.

This is for the best, for both of us.

I head to the club needing to distract myself with something other than thoughts of Torch. Each time I look in my rearview mirror and don’t see his bike it hurts. I’m an idiot. My aim was to push him away and now that I did I’m upset about it.

Pulling into the lot, a chill runs down my spine as I remember the last time I arrived here alone. As I walk to the door, I scan the area around me nervously making sure that no one else is around. Everyone in the club is tense and I know that there is stuff going on that I have no idea about. That’s the way it always is though. The women are just expected to keep quiet and be at the man’s beck and call. Screw that. Even if I wanted to end up with a biker it would be with one who could handle me and understand that in no way would I be the quiet little wife who stays at home and bakes goddamn cookies.

The club is dark and it seems so eerie in here when it’s empty. The draped curtains seeming as if they could be hiding unknown evils.

I’m seriously losing it.

A knock on the door makes me jump and I hold in a scream.
Should I go answer it? I don’t have any inventory deliveries scheduled today.
I look over at the steel door wishing there were a peephole in it. A knock comes again and I will my feet to move forward. I crack the door open just enough so I could see out.

A man is standing there in a white button up shirt and khakis, with a baseball cap on. “I have a delivery for Miss Moore.” He holds up a white box in his hand.

Taking a deep breath to try and calm myself I open the door and pretend as if I’m not ready to jump out of my own skin. “That’s me.”

“These are for you if you’ll just sign here.” He holds out a clipboard to me and I scribble my signature on it. He hands me the box. “Have a nice day, ma’am.”

I shut the door walking over to the bar and placing the box down. There is no card attached, maybe it’s inside.

Lifting the lid an envelope falls to the floor as a scream rips out of my throat. The box is full of wilted flowers with maggots crawling all over them. I move to step away but trip and fall to the floor. The envelope catches my eye and I reach for it, opening the seal, knowing that there isn’t anything better in here.

These reminded me of you.

Something that used to be beautiful but now is dead and infested.

Your bodyguards can’t protect you forever.

Especially when you act like such a slut.

You’ll get what’s coming to you.

The card falls from my hand and I scoot as far away from the box and the hateful card as I can. I end up crouched under one of the small tables, trying to stay grounded. I’m fighting not to get lost in my own head. I should call for help. My phone is on the bar, next to the box. I’m frozen as the words from the card replay in my head.

Who could be doing this? What do they want?

Tucking my knees to my chest and retreating into the safety of my own world is all I can do. I know I should get up, get help. I feel like I did all those years ago.

Helpless.

His retreating footsteps give me no comfort. The damage is already done. He took a piece of me that I’ll never get back.

I should get up.

I should go find one of the boys.

Then I hear his threats.

“They won’t believe you. I’m their brother. You’re just the bitch that cleans up after us. Even if they did believe you, you really think they’ll get rid of me because of it? Say one word and I’ll fucking kill you.” His voice vibrated in my ear as his hand tightened its grip on my hair.

I can feel my skin ripping.

Even though he has walked away from me I know that I’ll never rid myself of him.

“What the fuck!” I jumped at the loud voice. “Tracie!”

I don’t move. I should call out to him.

“Find her!” His voice echoes off the walls.

He came back.

As he takes a step, his foot hits the card laying on the floor. He picks it up and as his eyes scan the words he lets out a roar.

I see other people moving around but I can’t take my eyes off him.

The man I want to rescue me.

The man who could also destroy everything I am.

His eyes meet mine, and in a second he rushes over to me. His hands grab my arms as he pulls me against his chest.

“I’m so fucking sorry I wasn’t here.”

I don’t answer him.

I’m used to being alone.