Chosen Heart (25 page)

Alex stops his attack, forcing my
eyes to meet his.  Changing directions, but still attacking my neck, he
questions me about volunteering.  “Why did you sign up for the kissing
booth?  Did you mean what you said?”

Eyes closed, I can barely think
when his hands and mouth are all over me.  “About?” 

“Being single?”  Alex stops
his tantalizingly touch which spread from my neck, down to my breast, stopping
at the inside of my thighs.

Crap!  I’m so confused.
  I catch myself from saying
yes, because I really do hope it’s not the case.  I tilt my head back to
avoid his glare.  “Not that I owe you an explanation, but you haven’t
talked to me all week and before that we never really established what this
is.”  Trying to show the space between us is kind of difficult when his
lips are sucking and caressing every bare inch of my skin.

“The thought of you with someone
else kills me, even in a paid kissing booth.  When you announced at the
meeting today that you were single…it took all my will power not to tell
everyone that you’re mine.  You don’t even know how dangerously close I
got.”

“Is this how you treat women that
belong
to you?  If that’s the case…”  His lips once again find
my mouth; sucking on my bottom lip, nibbling slightly.  I know what he’s
trying to do…and damn it, its working. 
Did I even have a chance?

“I know I fucked up.  I’m
sure I tortured myself enough for the both of us.  I’ve imagined so many
scenarios in my head; all the different men trying to take my place while I was
off trying to get my head back on straight.  I already knew I didn’t want
to share you, but I’m just worried that my condition about keeping our
relationship hidden, is asking too much of you; that it…that I might not be
enough.” 

“Shouldn’t you let me make that
decision?”  This is what I’ve wanted from the moment I first saw
him.  So, why does this feel so scary?  “What exactly are you saying,
Alex?”

With a smile that reaches into my
soul, he stills his movement, and tilts his head back to look into my hopeful
eyes.  Hands no longer traveling my body, instead clasped together on my
lower back, he answers me with unnamed emotion.  “Well, I’m hoping you’ll
be my girl.”

“Your girl?” I repeat his word
over and over in my head.  Peering into his excited eyes, it finally sinks
in. 
He wants to be with me.
   

Alex places his right hand over
my heart. “My Hart,” he whispers as he rests his forehead against mine.  I
nod.  Apparently that was the signal he was waiting for.  Without
restrain he takes my willing mouth into his, hands’ traveling up my body as he
slowly teases my breasts. 

“Ahhh…Alex.”  I can’t help
the moans of sexual tension building inside me.  After the roller coaster
of emotions, we both need this release.  He doesn’t stop me when I reach up
to unbutton his shirt, sighing with relief instead.  Alex is mine and I am
his.  Revealing his defined abs, I run my hand down his smooth chest until
I’ve reach his navel.  My hands work their magic, unbuckling his belt in
record time as I open his fly; his erection fills my hand.    

“Elyssa, I want you,” he groans,
heat pouring over my lips.  That guttural sound makes my knees weak and I
continue to stroke him.

“Yes...”  With that, Alex
lifts me taking me to the couch.  Just like our first time, I straddle him
as he sits comfortably beneath me.  My brain barely processes that we’re
on the couch again, and not in my room.  But, not wanting to end this
sudden surge of gratification, I don’t say anything.

“Lift your arms,” he
demands.  Helping me out of my shirt, Alex reaches around unhooking my
bra.  “You’re perfect.”  He nuzzles my breasts slowly taking my right
nipple into his mouth torturing…licking…sucking.  I fist my hands into his
hair and start to grind against him.  “I want to be inside you,” he demands.

“Please, Alex…”  He reaches
down and unbuttons my pants, ripping them off with little help.  Reaching
in past my panties, he gently massages my clit, kissing me with more
urgency.  “Alex...” I moan as I grip his shoulders and continue to grind
against him.  The need I have for him is unrelenting. 

Abruptly, we’re pulled out of our
ecstasy.  A loud knock on the front door, rattles us both to a halt. 
We remain quiet and when we don’t hear another knock, I shrug my shoulders and
giggle slightly.  Looking back into Alex’s infatuated blue eyes, a
familiar voice starts to scream from the other side of the front door.

Bang!  Bang! 
Bang! 
“Elyssa! 
I know you’re home.  I see your car.” 
Fuck me!

“Who the fuck is that?” Alex
whispers, his arms tensing around me.

“It’s Cole.  If we’re quiet,
maybe he’ll leave.”  The last time I saw him we were okay, and he knows he
can’t just come barging in on my life.  I set those boundaries a long time
ago.

“Let me answer the fucking
door.  I’ll set him straight.”  Alex attempts to get up off the couch
but I forcefully place my hands on his bare chest, pushing him into the
cushion.

“Alex, please?  Let me take
care of this.”  I kiss him on the lips, hoping that will placate him for
now, and rise from his lap. 
Bang!  Bang!  Bang! 

I grab my shirt and pull on my
pants.  Instead of opening the door, I yell through it.  “What do you
want, Cole?”

“Let me in!”  His voice
sounds slurred; he’s been drinking, heavily.

“Cole, are you drunk?”

“I’ve had a couple of
drinks.  What’s the big fucking deal?  Just let me in.  I want
to see you.” 
Thump!
  Through the peep hole, I see Cole
resting his cheek against the door. 

“Cole, sit down.  I’m going
to call a cab.”

Like usual, he doesn’t
listen.  Instead, he starts to get belligerent, yelling even louder. 
“Ely, I can still remember how you taste.” 
Are you fucking kidding
me?  Fuck my life. 
He’s going to ruin everything, just when it
was getting back on track.  “Have I ever told you…you’re the best I’ve
ever had?  Even though you were a virgin….making love to you was the most
amazing…you were so tight…”

“Cole, stop it!”  I glance
at Alex, fury coursing through the veins in his neck as he searches for his
shirt.  He’s trying to get dressed and fast, which scares the shit out of
me.  I can’t let him open this door.

Alex walks towards me, gripping
the doorknob tightly.  With all my strength, I force him away and reach up
to pull his lips towards mine.  “Alex, please?  He’s drunk and I know
he doesn’t mean what he’s saying,” I whisper.

“You can’t expect me to just sit
here and listen to this bullshit.”  Alex points towards the door.  “I
fucking told you about his obsession with you.”  I don’t like seeing this
side of Alex.  This Alex scares me a little.

“Ely, are you there?”  I can
hear and feel Cole pounding on the door, as my hand rests on the doorknob,
replacing Alex’s.

“Cole, you need to go home. 
You’re drunk.”  I can’t believe he’s doing this.  After all we’ve
been through; he’s being a shitty friend.  But, even a shitty friend
deserves some compassion.  I should open the door, or at least get a cab
for him.  No, instead, I’m trying to manage both of the men in my
life.  And I’m failing miserably.

“Ely, let me come in,
please?!  I want to fuck you so badly.”  I glance backwards towards Alex,
finding him pacing in the corner of the living room.  Trying to block out
the painted picture, his hands are balled on each side of his head.  “I
love you, Elyssa Jane Hart!”  Cole’s words of adoration send Alex into a
sinking rage.  Shaking, he kneels on the floor of my living room.  I
rush to his side.

“Alex, please…just ignore
him!”  I kneel down, not knowing what to do.  I go to touch him, but
his solid blue intense glare stops me cold.  The look of fear, disgust,
and hurt all rolled into one shattered face.

“You better get rid of that
asshole before I do it my own fucking self.  Trust me Elyssa, you don’t
want me to go out there.  Fix this…fix this now!”  When I said I
didn’t like angry Alex very much, well, that was an understatement.  I
hate angry Alex.  

Not wasting a second, I rush to
the door and swing it open just in time to see Cole projectile vomiting into
the bushes next to my door. 
Ugh, that is disgusting
! 
Catching his breath, he realizes the door is open and smirks, trying to come at
me.  “Go home!  We aren’t together…and we never will be.  You’re
my friend, and right now, you’re being a rather shitty one.  I don’t want
to see your face.  Go home, Cole!”

“Elyssa….you are so beautiful,
even when you’re mad.  I’m sure you’re still as tight as I remember.”

In a moment of complete
embarrassment, rage takes over and I slap Cole with all of my strength,
shocking both of us.  Reaching up to grasp his cheek, he looks at me in
utter disbelief.  “Get the fuck out of here!  I never want to see you
again,” I scream, slamming the door on his devastated face. 

Quickly locking the door, I
exhale heavily resting my head against the dark wood frame.  Not having
any time to collect myself, Alex is still on the ground.  Kneeling, he
slowly removes his hands from the sides of his head as I approach him.  I
sink to the floor and take his hands into mine; a different kind of ache begins
to form in my chest, as I slowly examine his face.  His eyes, normally
exuberant, are anguished, his mouth set in a frown as he stares blankly at my
hands.

Slowly, he lifts his face and our
eyes meet.  I’m overcome with embarrassment, knowing my baggage caused
this and wanting so much to erase this night.  This is not his problem,
and yet because of me, he’s cowering on the floor of my apartment, trying to
contain his thunderous temper.

“Alex, I’m sorry!”  This
isn’t about me, I know that, but I can’t help the tears starting to well in my
eyes.

“Elyssa, I can’t do
this...”  The slow ache in my heart is now throbbing, threatening to
explode out of my chest.  I can’t blame him for not wanting to deal with
my unresolved issues.  My mind whirls and panic sets in. 
He’s
breaking up with me.
  “I can’t see you go through this bullshit. 
I did it for too long with my Mom and I was too young and weak to do anything
about it.  It never ended well.” 

Tears break through, streaming
down my face.  All of the revelations tonight are crashing down on me and
I don’t know if my already weak emotions can face another.  “Alex,
don’t.  You don’t have to explain anything.”

“No, I do.  You have to know
what you’re getting yourself into.”  Resolved to listen, I nod so he can
continue.  “My whole life my dad was a horrible drunk and for years he
would beat the shit out of my mother.  I tried to protect her.  There
were several times I tried to fight him off, but I was too small.  Once
her body was riddled with cancer, it just wasn’t fun for him anymore. 
That’s when he finally stopped.  I swore to myself that I would never be
that weak again.”  He reaches up and softly pushes the tears away with his
thumb.  “I can’t and won’t sit back and do nothing.

Soft sobs now escaping, I don’t
know what to say.  Are we both too broken to be together?  “I’m so
sorry, Alex.  For this.  For everything.  I don’t want to be the
cause of any more of your pain, and understand if you don’t want to see me
anymore.”  I close my eyes and brace myself, anticipating the worst.

“What…no!  Elyssa, look at
me!  I never said I didn’t want to be with you.  Not when I just got
you back.”  When I meet his gaze, he gently strokes my cheek with the back
of his hand.  Here he is, trying to reassure me, when I can still see his
own torment.  Gently pushing the hair from my face, he continues.  “I
only said that I couldn’t sit back and do nothing.  If he comes back,
I
will deal with him.”

“He’s not usually like
this.  No, this is definitely my fault.”  I know one day I’ll have to
reveal more of the reason we broke up, not only to Alex, but possibly even to
Cole, but not right now.  Not this soon in our relationship and definitely
not right now when he’s still radiating with anger. 

Alex stands and walks towards the
window, crossing his arms as he peers out towards the lawn.  “Don’t make
excuses for him, Elyssa.  You’re not that weak.” 

I rush towards him, wrapping my
arms around him from behind, wanting nothing more than to feel him.  Our
connection was tested, but not broken.  “I’m not.  I’m sorry you had
to be here for this.”

Turning to face me, he returns my
embrace.  Wrapping his arms tightly around me, I nuzzle into his chest, as
the sound of his heartbeat calms me.  Closing my eyes, I bask in the
moment; I feel safe…cared for.  “You shouldn’t be sorry.  If he’d
gotten out of control, at least I would’ve been able to protect you.  If I
wasn’t here, you would’ve let him in.  Then what would’ve happened?” 
He tightens his embrace when I start to shudder, imagining.  I don’t think
Cole would ever hurt me, but then again I’ve not seen him this drunk for quite
some time. 
Not since I broke up with him.
 

“Thank you for being here.
 I know this isn’t how you imagined tonight going.”  I smile up at
him, trying so desperately to reassure him that Cole and I are over.