Chosen Heart (49 page)

“Are you sure?  I don’t want
to take you away from your sister?”

“Don’t worry about her. 
I’ll follow you to your place.”

Bryan and Alex say their
goodbyes, promising to see each other soon.  Rachel takes Alex into
another tight embrace, placing a sweet kiss on his cheek before whispering
something to him.  I glance at both of them in confusion.  I’m so
happy that I don’t even ask what that was about.

~~~~~

Parking next to the front
entrance Alex jumps out and rushes to the passenger side.  Waiting for me
to join him, he gives me a hurried kiss before opening the door.

“Here are the keys, will you open
the door?”  Handing me his house key, Alex reaches into the passenger
seat, lifting Nana into his arms.  Being as small as a child, she’s
cradled in his arms as he proceeds up the walkway.  Watching him, I get a
glimpse into our future; the future where we have our own family.  I can
imagine us arriving home after a long vacation out of town, our daughter
asleep.  Alex would carry her to her bedroom and tuck her in for the
night. 

He whispers over his shoulder,
“Make yourself at home.”  I sigh as I head towards the kitchen while Alex
carries his grandmother down the hallway. 

The familiar sound of Elvis
echoes throughout Nana’s living room, this time the real Elvis is
singing.  Alex is going to be awhile and I need some water.  Walking
into the kitchen, my eyes immediately dart towards an ornate watch sitting on
the counter.  Obviously a females, and extremely expensive, I can’t help
but gravitate towards it, it’s exquisite.  The knotted band is decorated
with tiny diamonds. 
Wait…I’ve seen this before.

“What are you playing with?” 
Not hearing Alex enter behind me, I jump, dropping the watch. 
Desperately, I pick it up to make sure I didn’t scratch it, or worse…break it.

After making sure I hadn’t hurt
the posh piece, I lift it up to show Alex.  “It was on your counter. 
I’ve seen this before.”  Glancing at it sideways, a fuzzy memory of this
specific watch is haunting me, but I can’t seem to place where I’ve seen
it.  It looks so familiar.

Grabbing the watch, Alex looks
down at it, quickly dismissing the notion.  “Probably from a magazine ad,”
he murmurs.  “It must be Delores’s.  She’s usually good about picking
up after herself, but she had a family emergency and left in such a rush. 
She won’t be back until Sunday evening.  That’s why I had to bring Nana with
me tonight.” 
Maybe that’s the reason he canceled on me at the last
minute?

I don’t like to pry, but I feel
like I’m missing something.  “Looks expensive, you must pay her
well.”  Alex ignores me, placing the watch inside a drawer of the island
he’s leaning against. 

“Are you hungry?”  I shake
my head, a frown quickly spreading across my lips.  “Tired?”  I shake
my head again.  A nagging feeling is growing deep in my belly. 
“Hart…what’s up with the doom and gloom?”  Alex approaches, encircling me
with his arms.

“Just been a long weekend. 
I’ve been worried...”  I might as well be upfront and honest with him.

“Worried?” he questions, puzzled.

“You canceled on me at the last
minute.  You showed up drunk.  And then there was my confession and
your non confessions.  Just a lot to take in.  I was a little worried
you weren’t going to show up at Rachel’s.”

“I told you I wouldn’t miss it,”
he protests, almost exasperatingly.

“Well, what made today different
than last night?”  I don’t give him time to answer before giving him the
real reason I’m worried.  I don’t know why I do this.  I always push,
and it’s not always a good thing.  But I have let him in, now it’s his
turn.  “Alex, I feel like you’re keeping something from me.” 

“Why can’t you just drop
it?  Why can’t we just have a nice night?”  Alex releases me,
stepping away as he rubs his hand over the back of his neck.

“I just can’t.  I can’t
shake the feeling that you’re keeping secrets from me.”

Time moves slowly as Alex fixes
his eyes on mine.  I don’t know what he’s thinking about, or what he’s
about to say, but the irritation in his eyes boil over turning his serene
crystal blue eyes into a blazing indigo. 

“Fine!  You really want to
know what happened…what kept me away last night?”  I nod, shocked by the
escalation of Alex’s voice.  “Someone I used to see showed up at my
house.  My grandmother was here, and I couldn’t just leave knowing Delores
would have to deal with her.  I had to make sure she left before I could
go to you.”

My stomach is in knots. 
I
knew there was something he was keeping from me.
  “Did you…did you do
something with her?  Is that why you were drinking?” 

“God Elyssa, do you really want
to hear the details?” 
Please lord, say he didn’t do anything.

“I need to know.  I think I
deserve to know.”  I cross my arms waiting for an answer.  Whatever
it is, although I may not want to hear it, the truth will at least explain his
erratic behavior.  I’ve done nothing but trust him since the moment we
met; I’m done with always giving in and not expecting anything in return. 
It’s his turn to show his scars.  I know life has been cruel, but
regardless of his past I deserve to know what’s going on. 
I just hope
I can handle it.

With a sigh, Alex runs his hands
through his hair.  “She said she just wanted to talk, so I figured I would
placate her and figure out what she wanted.  So, I let her come
inside.  She wanted to know why I cut things off with her so abruptly, and
why I haven’t called.  I told her I met someone and I wasn’t interested any
longer,” he pauses, looking at me.  I’m not sure what Alex expects from
me; maybe he hopes that those few words will appease my need.  But no such
luck, I remain still, arms still crossed over my chest. 

“She tried to remind me of what I
was missing not being with her.”  My mouth drops open in shock and it
takes a moment before I’m composed enough to ask for clarification.

“What does that mean?” I catch
myself as I begin to yell; my voice slightly faltering.

“She threw herself at me,” he
recounts, looking down at the floor. 

“What do you mean, she threw
herself at you?”

“Fuck, Elyssa.  Do you want
a play-by-play?  Do you really want all of the gory details?  Do you
want me to tell you she was naked under her jacket?  That when she removed
it, I screamed at her?”  A lump starts to develop in my throat as it
becomes harder and harder to breathe. 
He told me I didn’t want to
know.
 

“Did you fuck her?”  Tears
well in my eyes, as I pray the answer is no. 
Please let it be no.

“Elyssa, no…I told you I would
never cheat on you.”  Alex reaches out trying to bring me into an embrace.

I step back, out of his
grasp.  “Did you touch her?” 

“Why won’t you let me hold
you?”  Alex’s voice is calm, but his brows are pulled together, his mouth
in a frown. 

“Because if your hands were on
another woman…so help me God, Alex!”  My body begins to shake with sobs as
my knees weaken, causing me to drop to the tiled floor.  Rushing over,
Alex tries to bring me into another embrace, but I snap back at him. 
“Don’t touch me!  Just answer the fucking question.”

“No, I didn’t touch her.  I
told you I would never!”  The urgency in his voice is heartbreaking. 
But at this moment I can see nothing but the anger I feel for being placed in
this situation. 

“So, she was at your house
turning you on and then what?  You decide to come and fuck me?  Is
that your idea of not cheating?  Getting your kicks off with someone else
as long as you don’t touch?”

Alex grabs my shoulders, “Stop
it!  I told you I didn’t touch her.  I would never hurt you like
that.”

“Then why were you drinking?” I
yell back at him.

“Damn it, Elyssa.  She
threatened me.  She knows things about my past.  She can ruin
me.  She threatened to reveal all my secrets, unless I gave her what she
wanted.” 
What she wanted?

His hands are still gripping my
shoulders as I glare at him through squinted eyes.  “Which was?” 

“What do you think?  She
wanted me to make her come.  She stood in my fucking kitchen naked,
touching herself while she continued to threaten me.”  His words knock the
wind out of me.  I squirm out of his grip and wrap my arms around my
midsection.  The tears have dried up as I stare at the ground,
unconsciously counting the tiles, trying to think of what to say next. 
What
can I say?

“I told you that you didn’t want
to know.”  Alex is kneeling in front of me, his hands resting on his
knees, waiting for a sign of my next move.

“How…where do
you find these girls, Alex?  Is this something I have to contend with on a
regular basis?”  Just as I utter those words, I’m reminded of the hostess
at the restaurant.  She knew him; was it her who showed up?  Or,
could it have been Autumn?  She’s always talking like they know each other
better than they should.  How many girls are there? 

“Elyssa, I told
you I had things in my past you didn’t want to know.  I also told you I
wasn’t ready to talk about them, and I’m still not.  I know it’s a lot to
ask of you, but please know she won’t be back.”

I’m
defeated.  Is he really still asking me to trust him, to not push the
matter without any sort of justification?  “I don’t get it, Alex.  If
she was naked, playing with herself in your home, and she wanted you, how did
you…she what…grew a conscious and decided to get out?”  I shake my head,
trying to push back the rage building again.  “I want to believe you
didn’t touch her, but if you didn’t give her what she wanted, why would she
just go?” 

“I told her
about you…I told her I ended it with her because of you,” he says sincerely
reaching out to caress my cheek.

“That was
it?  You told her about me and she just left?  That seems too
easy.” 

“She was ashamed…I promise you,
she won’t be back,” Alex’s eyes are back to his serene crystal blue, making it
hard not to believe he’s telling the truth.  I want to believe him, but he
kept details from me; lying and omitting are the same when the heart is
concerned. 

“Did you love her?” I whisper,
barely audible over the beating of my heart.

“No!” Alex shakes his head, his
hand resting on the nape of my neck bringing me forward as he rests his forehead
against mine.  “I would never cheat on you.  You have to know that.”

“I believe you.”  I wrap my
arms around him.  “So what are you going to do?  She threatened you,
and now she’s just gone?  Do you really think she’ll just leave you
alone?”  Women can be vengeful and vindictive, especially when she
obviously still feels for him.

“I have to accept she’s telling
me the truth.  She looked humiliated when she left.  I think I know
her well enough, that when she says she’s sorry, she is.”  Alex pulls back,
looking to me with shameful eyes.  “Besides, there’s something I need to
tell you.  I know I don’t have perfect timing, but you can trust she won’t
be bothering me anymore because I’m being sent to New York for business.”

“New York?  What?” 
This
night just keeps getting better and better. 
I push away from him.
“How
long have you known and when did you plan on telling me?”  I can’t believe
he didn’t say anything earlier.  Does he think so little of me that I’m
only being told now because his slutty ex has come back in the picture?

“I’m sorry.  I just found
out yesterday and didn’t get a chance to tell you.  Arianna’s sending me
to assess the production of the sales office there.  I shouldn’t be there
more than a few weeks.”  I haven’t had enough time with him and now he’s
going to New York?! 
I knew we were too good to be true.
 

My despair turns to rage. 
Fire is coursing through my veins, and my brain is at its fullest capacity
trying to deal with all of this emotional drama.  I don’t know how much
more I can take.  At this point, all I can hope for is to come out of this
relationship with my heart still intact.  “What about us?”

“We are still us, Hart.  At
least I would hope we’re still together.  I know a month won’t change how
I feel about you.  We can fly back and forth on the weekends and Skype
every night.  We will make it work.”

“Alex….I don’t know.  Why
does it seem like we’re trying to avoid the inevitable?  You have a crazy
ex threatening to ruin you, I have a crazy ex lurking in the bushes, and now
you’re going away for a month.  Maybe…I don’t know.”  I shake my
head, not knowing how I’m feeling.  The thought of being away from Alex
for even a month is difficult, yet here I am talking about avoiding the inevitable…what
in the hell am I doing?  I push myself farther from him, hoping the
distance will stop the water works from starting again.

“You don’t know what?” Alex balls
his hands into fists.  I can feel the tension between us.  “You don’t
know what Elyssa?  Just say it!”

“I don’t know what to think about
this whole situation, Alex!  I feel fooled.  You told me you don’t do
this.  So stupid me, I thought I was something special.  All the
while you’ve had other girlfriends.  I thought I was a once in a lifetime
thing for you.  And now, I have to deal with knowing you had a naked woman
in your fucking kitchen, trying to get you horny enough to fuck her.  Now
she’s blackmailing you and what?  You’re going to pick some girl you’ve
known for a few weeks over your entire reputation and career?  Is that
what you expect me to believe?”