Christian Domestic Discipline 101 (6 page)

Spankee:
The person receiving a spanking.

Spanker:
The person administering a spanking.

Spanking:
A series of smacks administered to the buttocks for the purpose of correcting misbehavior.

Spine:
The vertebrae or “back bone” containing the spinal cord.

Switch:
A small, flexible limb from a tree or bush trimmed of all leaves, nodules, and sharp edges, and then used to administer a spanking.

Switching:
A spanking given with a switch.

Tawse:
A specially cured leather strap with strips or “tongues” on the end historically used to punish Scottish schoolchildren.

Unequally Yoked:
A person who is a Christian, legally or emotionally bonded with a person who is a non-Christian.

Warm up:
A period at the beginning of a spanking where the force of the strokes are commenced lightly, then gradually increased in severity. This is believed to decrease the pain of a spanking and prevent bruising.

Wrap-around effect:
When using a long or flexible implement, the end is traveling faster than the middle of the implement, causing the end that wraps around the spankee to strike with more force than the middle.

Appendix A

Suggestions for Introducing CDD to Your Husband

1. Make it clear this is a
need
of yours, not just some passing fancy. Acknowledge it might sound weird, but up until the middle of the 20
^th
century it was very common, and even today thousands practice CDD.

2. You might tell him you believe God created women to want to feel a man’s strength and authority. It makes her feel more secure and protected. Plus, it gives him an “edge” or “persona” of power that makes him very attractive to you.

3. Explain to him that wanting CDD does not make you a masochist. You simply want him to have true authority in your marriage. Living in the roles God has created for you is the real attraction of CDD, not the pain/punishment. Spankings/punishments are necessary but may not be enjoyable for either party.

4. Point out that CDD marriages are among the best in the world. Couples in these types of relationships report greater intimacy, special closeness, increased trust, and fantastic sex lives in their marriages.

5. You might mention he would have a more definitive voice in the marriage, but don’t make a big deal out of the advantages to him. Most men abhor the thought of causing their wife pain and to do so for their own gain will not sound attractive to him.

Appendix B

Suggestions for Introducing CDD to Your Wife

1. Husbands, you are in a stickier situation. It is one thing to tell your husband you need correction, but it is quite another to tell your wife she needs discipline. Take it slowly. Maybe consider introducing it to her a bit at a time.

2. If she is already committed to living in a Biblical marriage (i.e. husband the head of the household), you are blessed. Explain to her the Biblical justifications for CDD (for more information, see
Understanding Christian Domestic Discipline
), and gently suggest you use CDD.

3. If she is not committed to living in a Christian marriage, suggest you do a Bible Study together on Biblical roles in marriage.

4. If she is not a Christian, you might consider emphasizing research on CDD marriages that suggest a greater intimacy between the couple, enhanced trust and communication, and great sex lives.

5. Be positive. Tell her what a great wife she is. Tell her you would like to use CDD to make a good marriage even better.

6. Reassure her of your love. Though you might bring her pain during punishment, you would never do her any lasting harm.

7. If she is afraid of spanking or completely set against it, begin with alternative punishments.

8. Suggest you begin CDD in a limited capacity (for example, agree to use only your hand with a ten swat limit) until she is more comfortable with the relationship.

9. Assure her you’re not a sadist, and though you might be turned on by seeing her behind or by her submission to you, you will never gain pleasure from causing her pain.

10. Suggest she join some of the CDD Forums to discuss her fears and reservations with other women who are living in a CDD marriage.

Introducing:

Consensual Christian Domestic Discipline

A workbook for couples just beginning their CDD journey!

Written to provide “talking points” for couples who are new to CDD or who would like to clarify their expectations of their existing CDD relationship, it includes such topics as:

Biblical Marriage, Biblical Justification for CDD, Overcoming Cultural Influences, The Meaning of Consent, Identifying Strengths and Weaknesses, Rules, Discipline, Punishment, Aftercare, and Protecting Yourselves Legally. A sample consent form is also provided.

Available in print or for download at www.lulu.com!