Christmas at Harmony Hill (7 page)

The spoon clanging against the bowl sounded loud in the total silence, but she did manage not to slurp the soup. She ate every bite and would have licked the bowl if the two women hadn’t been watching her so closely. She laid down her spoon and started to stand again, but the older woman put a hand on her shoulder.

“Nay, don’t get up, my child. You look very tired.” Her lips made a slight curve up into a smile. “I’m Eldress Corrine. Sister Muriel says you have asked to see one of our other sisters, Sister Sophrena.”

“She’s my aunt. Well, great aunt,” Heather said.

“In the world perhaps. Here we don’t recognize such titles. We are all brothers and sisters one with another,” the eldress said.

The soup she’d just eaten shifted uneasily in her stomach. In spite of the woman telling her not to, she stood up to better plead her cause. “But I have to see her. My mother told me to.”

“Your mother?” Eldress Corinne said.

“Yes. She died a few months ago.” Heather’s hand went to her pocket to touch her mother’s letter.

“The ways of the world are hard. Where is the father of your child?” the woman asked. Sister Muriel raised her head a little, as though interested in Heather’s answer too.

“The army.”

“Which one?” the eldress asked.

“Does it matter?” Heather peered at the woman and wondered if that was a proper answer.

“Nay, we are against all war, but have compassion on the soldiers caught up in the sinful conflict.” The expression on Eldress Corrine’s face didn’t change. She stared at Heather with eyes calm as a still pool. “And so, do you have no home, my child?”

“I have nothing but what I hold in my hands,” Heather said.

“How true of us all.” The eldress did smile at her then. She reached over and touched Heather’s arm. “Worry not, my sister. We will not turn you away.”

“And will I be allowed to see my aunt?”

“Yea, she has been sent for. I think I hear her coming now.”

Heather had heard nothing, but the elder woman’s ears must have been more attuned to the silence. The door was opening and another woman, again in the same type dress, was coming into the room. She brought with her the fresh scent of apples and the outdoors.

Heather stared at her and grabbed the back of the chair as her head began to spin once more. This woman was looking straight at Heather with her mother’s eyes. Eyes she had so wanted to see and that now were peering out of a stranger’s face.

A
young sister was waiting in the front hall of the Trustee House to point Sophrena to the room where her visitor waited. Sister Hilda trailed along behind Sophrena, obviously as curious about who might be asking for Sophrena as Sophrena was. A hundred wonderings had crossed through her mind on the short walk from the Centre Family House to the building where all business with the outside world was conducted.

She had guided numerous young sisters along the Shaker way over the years. One of those who had left the village to try worldly living might be seeking a return to the Society. Such was not uncommon since the world sometimes proved less than welcoming. If so, she would do her best to hide her own discontent, for there was much good in living the Shaker life. Much good.

Life in the world could hold many sorrows. She’d known some of her own and had heard many others from novitiates. The Shaker village offered peace while those of the world were beset by war and hardship. She knew such was true. She had always eagerly gathered the fruits of Shaker peace and been nourished by them. Never before had the worms of worldly thinking spoiled their goodness.

Sophrena pushed all that aside. Wondering and guessing served no purpose. Whoever had come asking for her would soon stand in front of her and then all questions would be answered.

Sister Muriel opened the door for Sophrena and stepped aside to allow her to enter the room before she took Sister Hilda’s arm and walked her back out into the hallway. She shut the door quietly but firmly behind them, leaving Sophrena alone with Eldress Corinne and the visitor. The tattered edges of a much worn, soiled brown skirt peeked out behind the eldress to give evidence the visitor was someone in need. In spite of the curiosity springing to life inside her, Sophrena did not try to peer around the eldress. When she was ready for Sophrena to see the visitor, she would move. It would not be proper for Sophrena to try to hurry her.

Eldress Corinne had come to Harmony Hill from one of the eastern villages and possessed a tranquil air that nothing ruffled. Through storms, strangers from the world appearing on their doorsteps, even Confederate guerilla forces riding through their village demanding food, she stayed calm, sure of her Shaker walk. As sure as Sophrena had been in years past.

“Someone has asked to see you, Sister Sophrena.” She moved aside to allow Sophrena a clear view of the young woman whose eyes popped open too wide at the sight of Sophrena. Eyes the very same hazel mix of gray, blue, and green as Sophrena’s own.

Sophrena knew her at once. She was that much like her mother. The very image of Susan who had been not much younger than this woman when Sophrena last saw her. Unmarried as yet and so not heavy with child as this girl was.

This had to be Heather, the daughter Susan had been so worried about, the one who had married a Union soldier against her father’s wishes. Sophrena had prayed for the girl so often in the past year that she had begun to feel as if she did know her. Now here she was standing right in front of her as if those prayers had summoned her.

The color drained from the girl’s face, and she let out a startled
gasp. She threw out her hand as though reaching for something to grasp.

“She’s going to swoon.” Without ceremony, Sophrena pushed past Eldress Corinne to grab the girl before she fell. The eldress scooted the chair under the young woman, and Sophrena lowered her carefully into it. “Are you all right, Heather?”

The girl nodded, but she continued to lean heavily against Sophrena as she pulled in her breath too rapidly. Eldress Corinne leaned down to speak directly into her face. “Breathe slowly, child. In and out. Slowly. If you keep trying to grab all the air at once, you will only make yourself more apt to swoon.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not usually prone to swooning.” The girl’s voice was not much above a whisper.

“Perhaps it is your condition,” the eldress said kindly. “Is it near your time?”

“No, not for weeks,” Heather said.

“Babies have been known to come before their proper time,” Eldress Corinne said. “It could be we should send for our doctor here. Brother Kenton.”

Sophrena tried to concentrate on the girl leaning against her and not think about how just the mention of Brother Kenton’s name made her heart lurch inside her chest. A woman her age should not entertain such thoughts. A faithful, proper Believer would not be tempted by the sound of a brother’s name.

“I am having none of the sorts of pains I remember my mother having with my little brothers.” The girl’s voice grew stronger. “I think it’s only that I am so tired and . . .” Her voice trailed off as she straightened in the chair to look from the eldress to Sophrena.

“And what, child?” the eldress asked with an edge of sternness. “If we are to help you, you must be forthcoming with the truth and not slip sideways into stuttering evasions.”

The young woman placed a protective hand on her mounded middle, shut her eyes, and pulled in a deep breath. When she opened them, she again looked up at Sophrena instead of the
eldress as she spoke. “I have been with the army since the summer of ’62.”

“A camp follower.” Eldress Corinne stated the words without emotion, but her disapproval was evident.

“You could say that. I was a laundress with my husband’s unit. A washerwoman. Hard but honorable work.”

“And necessary work,” Sophrena added.

The eldress leveled her eyes at Sophrena. “Perhaps we should hear our visitor out before we add words to her talk.”

“Yea.” Sophrena bent her head and studied the wide plank flooring. It was beginning to amaze her how many times she could disregard the discipline of years. The eldress would let her know when it was proper to speak.

Heather, whether sensing Sophrena’s unease or simply needing encouragement herself, reached over to grasp Sophrena’s hand as she continued her story. “I was fortunate to get the job as laundress since it did allow my husband to be with me when no battle was going on.”

“That appears quite evident,” Eldress Corinne said. “As you are with child.”

Heather must have noted the censure in the woman’s voice because she lowered her head. Sophrena bit the inside of her lip to keep from speaking. Instead she tightened her grip on the girl’s fingers as silence pressed in on them.

“That I am,” she said finally in soft words. “A blessing, but Gideon thought it best if I came home since the army was moving south to engage the enemy. So I made my way home only to find my mother passed on and my father unwelcoming.”

“Such are the sorrows of the world where the conflicts of war and family bring nothing but unhappiness.” Eldress Corinne straightened up and studied Heather for a long moment before she went on. “And so, have you come to us seeking salvation and peace on this day?”

Heather lifted her head and looked straight at the eldress. “I
came seeking my aunt. Sophrena. My mother held back the grave to guide me here and then . . .” Her voice faded and tears began to slide down her cheeks. She pulled in a steadying breath and looked up at Sophrena as if Eldress Corinne was forgotten. “And then when I did see you, it was as though my mother had come back to life. You are so like her.”

“Many took us for sisters when we were young,” Sophrena said.

“Now you have many sisters,” Eldress Corinne reminded her as she took control of the conversation again. She peered down at Heather with rekindled kindness. “You can be one of our sisters, my child.”

Heather’s shoulders tightened. “I will not give up my baby.” She lifted her chin and stared at the eldress. “I have heard you do not allow families or a woman to mother her own child.”

“My dear girl, we are all of one family. Brothers and sisters with the Christ and our Mother Ann. Many years ago the Lord revealed to our Mother Ann that the small individual family of which you speak causes nothing but heartache and troubles. Here we love all the same as it will be in heaven. As it was meant to be here before sin came into the world. We shut out that sin, and all sin, from our villages and know love as the Eternal Father intended us to love.”

“The love I have for my child is not a sin.” Heather pulled her hand away from Sophrena to cradle her abdomen. “Does not the Bible teach us that a man should leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife?”

Eldress Corinne’s smile was genuine. “Yea, there is such a passage, but that’s in the sinful world. Here at Harmony Hill we have brought heaven down to us and thus must live by heavenly rules instead of worldly ones.”

“I cannot believe it right to separate a mother from her child even in heaven. Not if God is love as the Bible says.”

“You cling to the baser thoughts of love, my child, and not of the love that flows down to us from Mother Ann.” The eldress
reached her hands toward heaven. “The Spirit gifts us with much love. Isn’t that right, Sister Sophrena?”

“Yea, we have love in abundance.” Sophrena answered as the eldress expected her to answer, but then she added, “Even so, it sometimes takes time for those from the world to understand our ways.”

“I will never give up my child.” Heather’s face was set and determined. And very weary. “As Mary held and loved the baby Jesus on that first Christmas so long ago, I will hold and love my baby. Even if I have to do so in a stable as she did.”

Again Sophrena held her tongue. She wanted to put her arms around the girl and promise her everything would be fine. She wanted to tell her she would take care of her, but it would do little good to promise what she could not give. She had no home other than her bed in the retiring room. A room she shared with five other sisters. She did not even have a stable to offer her.

“You knew of our ways and yet you still came to us,” Eldress Corinne said.

“I did.” Heather stared down at her hands protecting the baby inside her. “But I had also heard you were very kind and so I hoped. My father beat down the hope I had of home, but my mother’s written words gave me hope that I might find help here with my aunt.”

Sophrena let a silent prayer wing from her mind straight toward heaven that a way might be found to keep the girl’s hopes alive. Winter was coming. They couldn’t turn the poor child away. Not in her condition. Hadn’t Mother Ann always instructed her followers to show much charity to the poor? And especially so at Christmastime?

She glanced over at the eldress and wondered if she dared say as much aloud. Eldress Corinne was much more compassionate than Eldress Lilith, but at the same time, she would not expect Sophrena to doubt her ability to capably handle a problem such as Heather and her condition. She would frown on the way Sophrena’s heart was reaching out to Heather in a way that lacked the Believer’s
discipline and instead went back to the years before she came to the Shaker village. All the way back to Susan as a bright-eyed child running after Sophrena, begging for one more piggyback ride. Oh, if only Sophrena could pick up this child in front of her and somehow carry her to safety. But she had nothing to offer her except heartfelt prayers sent heavenward.

The eldress too stood in an attitude of prayer for a long moment. When at last she lifted her head, she said, “Yea, it is our duty to be kind. A way will be found to help you, my young sister. That too is our duty. We don’t turn away those in need whatever their spiritual lackings. Instead we keep those shortcomings in our prayers.”

Sophrena sent up another silent prayer of thanksgiving for Eldress Corinne. Then she dared speak the idea that had come to her while the eldress prayed. “There is the cabin where the Jeffersons stayed while Brother Omer attempted to get his wife of the world to agree to the Shaker life.”

“Yea, he will be rewarded for his faithfulness while she will suffer for her foolishness of running back to the sinful world.”

“If the Ministry allows, my young relative from the world could stay in the cabin.”

Eldress Corinne eyed Heather. “She doesn’t look able to care for herself. There would be fire to maintain in that cabin and water to be carried.”

“I could do that,” Heather spoke up. “My years as washerwoman have made me strong.”

“So you say.” Doubt was evident in Eldress Corrine’s voice.

“Nay, she is too close to her time to stay alone.” Sophrena spoke up quickly. “If the Ministry agrees, I could stay with her until the baby is born or until her husband or her father comes for her.”

“Father will not come,” Heather said without a shred of doubt. Then her voice got louder, seeming to be trying to push the same conviction into her next words. “But Gideon will. When the war is over. And it will be over soon.”

“Those in the world will always be warring over something,
but such is not our concern at this moment.” The eldress looked from Heather to Sophrena. “Are you sure, Sister Sophrena, that such a living arrangement for even a few weeks will not reek of too much worldliness?”

“I have lived as a Believer for many years. A few weeks will not change what I believe is truth.” The words were the right words, but inside Sophrena, doubts were poking her. Not new ones that had just sprung to life at the thought of being away from her sisters, but the same doubts that had been poking her for months. It would be best if Eldress Corinne did not note those poking doubts.