Cinderella Substitute (13 page)

Jenni hummed to herself as she turned on the oven and popped in the homemade lasagna Rose had packed. Next, she turned her attention to the contents of the carrier bags of purchases she had made at the service station.

* * * *

Nate paused in his unpacking. He could hear Jenni singing as she moved about in the kitchen below. Her light clear voice floated melodiously up the stairs as she sang Christmas carols.

He crossed the landing to make up Jenni's bed with the linen they had brought down with them. Jenni had begun to sing Silent Night, her voice ringing clear and true throughout the house. He dreaded Christmas, the season linked forever in his mind with Cerys and the accident. She had always 118

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made a big fuss, throwing parties and buying lavish gifts for all her friends.

Since her death, he had shunned as many of the celebrations as possible, only continuing with the office party and his Santa act because it had been expected of him. He frowned as he smoothed the quilt before going back down to the kitchen.

He stopped in the doorway, not quite taking in the scene before his eyes. Jenni had her back to him and still warbled away as she bent to attend to the oven. On the scrubbed pine table, set for dinner, stood a mini Christmas tree, decorated with flashing lights, tinsel and a star on the top.

Red scented candles were lit along the welsh dresser. He could smell, along with the supper, the essence of Christmas, pine needles and cinnamon. His mind whirled.

* * * *

Jenni turned around, the tray of lasagna in her hand. The carol she had been singing died on her lips. She looked at Nate, trying to gauge his reaction.

He hated it, she could tell. He had that frozen, closed expression on his face. Without a word, he closed the door. A second later she heard his feet crunch away across the gravel, walking away from the house into the darkness.

By the time he returned some fifteen minutes later, she had replaced his supper in the oven to keep warm and gone to sit in the lounge by the fire. Jenni took another sip of the glass of red wine she had poured to fortify herself.

"I'm sorry, Jenni."

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She saw the Adam's apple in his throat move as he swallowed. "I..."

"Over-reacted?" she supplied.

He had the grace to look sheepish. "I guess that's the word."

Her heart raced and tension hung like an invisible thread between them. He looked so tired, she thought, utterly exhausted, as if the battle with his inner demons had pushed even him beyond his strength.

"I'll get your supper. Sit down."

For once he obeyed her. He sank down onto the low floral covered armchair. She prepared his tray and, topping up her own glass at the same time, poured him a glass of wine too.

He accepted the tray without comment and ate in silence.

Only the crackle of logs on the hearth and the distant roar of the waves disturbed the peace.

Jenni forced herself to sip slowly at her drink. Inside, her stomach twisted and turned. It took all the courage she possessed to stay in the room with him, gazing into the flames and tasting the mellow roundness of the wine in her glass. Nate finished eating and placed the tray down on the small coffee table that stood at the side of his chair.

"I guess I owe you an explanation."

Jenni shook her head. "No, Nate. You don't owe me anything. If you want to tell me, then that's different."

His eyes, which had been half-closed and hooded in the firelight, snapped open. He took a long pull at the glass of wine in his hand.

"I've never shared this place with anyone before."

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She became conscious of her body stilling, only her pulse raced and her mind worked overtime.

"It's been my refuge, an escape from things. That's why it hit me so hard hearing you singing and seeing the Christmas tree," he paused and took another sip of wine. "Since Cerys died, I've dreaded Christmas. If I'm honest, it's too painful. I have the staff party because it's what I've always done. I don't celebrate. I don't shop for gifts." His voice tailed off.

She understood the enormous effort it took to tell her this, to attempt to explain something that she sensed even he didn't fully understand.

"I know." Suddenly she did know. Jenni had been the one who got the gifts, fetched vouchers for his family, organized cards. "I just saw that little tree and..." Now she took her turn to share, embarrassed by what she was about to confide. "I haven't anyone to share Christmas with, no one to tug the other end of a cracker or to see or care if I decorate the house or not. I just wanted to share a little bit of Christmas with you."

She saw the mixture of emotions in his eyes. Compassion, guilt, and worst of all, pity. She finished her drink, then stood her empty glass down with a clunk.

"If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go to bed, Nate. I'll see you in the morning." She bolted up the stairs before he had a chance to reply. Before her facade could crumble.

* * * *

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She wasn't sure what had woken her. It had taken her a long time to fall asleep. She had heard Nate go to bed a few hours earlier.

Then she heard Nate's voice; urgent, distressed. She pulled on her dressing gown. She knew all about bad dreams, had suffered many of her own in the past. Jenni guessed dreams of the accident tormented him as he slept.

Jenni opened his bedroom door. She saw him clearly in the moonlight. His chest bare, the duvet slipped half onto the floor as he tossed and turned in the grip of the nightmare.

Instinctively, she crossed to his side to sit on the edge of the bed. The mattress dipped under her weight. Her pulse thundered as loudly as the crashing surf outside the window.

She slipped her arms around him and cradled his head on her lap.

"Nate, wake up. It's a bad dream, wake up."

At first she thought he couldn't hear her, that he had gone so deep she couldn't reach him. Then, to her relief, his eyes flickered open.

"Jenni?" He looked up at her as if he thought she might vanish, as insubstantial as his dream.

"I'm here," she whispered, stroking the wild curls from his brow.

His skin felt damp with sweat under her fingers. His hand closed over hers, stilling the movement. His other arm slid around her.

"Don't leave me."

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She caressed his cheek, watching with relief as his eyes closed again as he drifted back to sleep. Only then did she prop herself up cautiously on the pillow next to him.

* * * *

The early morning sound of the seagulls wheeling and screaming over the sea woke her. Jenni realized she was alone.

She listened, hoping Nate might be downstairs, but the house remained silent. She sat up and hugged her knees, trying to decide what to do.

The sitting room and the kitchen were empty, although the fire had been re-laid and a half-drunk cup of coffee stood on the counter in the kitchen. Rufus had gone too. She surmised that Nate must have taken him for a walk. Relief rolled over her and she smiled a little as she acknowledged the fear she had been nursing in her heart. Nate had gone to walk his dog.

He hadn't left her.

Jenni looked out of the kitchen window, wondering how far they were from the sea, when to her delight, she discovered the wild front garden ran straight down to the shingle at the head of the small crescent-shaped bay. In the distance, she saw them coming back. Man and dog braced against the stiff breeze which blew in off the sea and whipped the waves into foaming white horses.

A chill ran down her spine as she watched them draw nearer, for Nate's face looked as bleak as the weather. A cold stranger headed back towards her.

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CHAPTER TEN

Nate wasn't sure how far he'd walked. It had been one of the hardest things he had ever done in his life, getting out of his bed this morning, leaving Jenni still fast asleep on his pillow. Her soft brunette hair fanned out against the white cotton of the pillowcase.

He reached the top of the cliff and began to walk back towards the cottage. The mobile phone in his pocket vibrated.

The number of missed messages took him by surprise as he looked at the phone. He didn't recognize any of the numbers as he scrolled through them. When he hit redial and got the news, he pushed his own concerns to the back of his mind.

Whatever happened between him and Jenni, she needed him now.

* * * *

Jenni busied herself filling the teapot. She didn't want Nate to think she had been looking out for him, waiting for him to come back. Rufus came in first. His tail wagged as he dropped a piece of driftwood at her feet, a pleased expression on his hairy face.

"I've just made some tea, would you like a cup?" Her courage faltered along with her voice when she looked at Nate's face.

"We have to go back." His words took her by surprise.

"Back?" she echoed.

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"Sit down, Jenni." He pulled out one of the kitchen chairs for her. The gravity in his tone scared her.

"What's the matter? What's happened?"

Nate took the teapot from her and sat down on the chair opposite hers. "I had a phone call while I was out. The only place you can get reception here is on the cliff. They've been trying to get us since early this morning."

The blood drained from Jenni's body as the implications of his words began to sink in. "Something's happened to Tracey?" Her voice came out as a whisper. Nate took her hands in his, his long, clever fingers curled supportively around her hands.

"She's in hospital. The police found her this morning, wandering around the streets."

Tears sprang unchecked into Jenni's eyes. "What happened?" She searched Nate's face for answers.

"They wouldn't tell me much because I'm not family. They said Tracey asked for you."

Dazed, she tried to take it all in. "Is she hurt?"

Nate shook his head. "No, mild hypothermia and shock they said. We'll know more when we get back." His eyes were dark with sympathy.

"How did they know where to find us?" she asked.

"Tracey told them where you worked. They traced us from there."

"Oh." Jenni realized he still held her hands. The warmth of his touch eased the chill in her fingers. Nate's face was somber.

"I'm very sorry, Jenni." He squeezed her hands.

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All the while she cleaned and packed, his words kept going round and round in her mind. What did he feel sorry for? The situation with Tracey? That the holiday had ended before it had begun? Or worse, he felt sorry about confiding in her?

On the drive home, she wanted to ask him what he'd meant, but with every mile that passed, the more Nate appeared to be retreating from her.

By the time they pulled into the hospital car park, Jenni's nerves had disintegrated into tatters. Nate waited with her at the reception desk while they checked which ward Tracey was on. After a brief telephone call, a young policewoman came down to meet them.

"Mr. Mayer, Miss Blake, I'm glad you were able to come home so soon. There's no reason to be unduly alarmed, however." She gave Jenni a reassuring smile. "I'm just here to finish taking your mother's statement and to fill you in on the background before you go in to see her. She's been through a dreadful ordeal."

She led the way to a small side room. When they had been seated and a ward domestic had bought in a tray of tea, the policewoman explained what had happened.

"Your mother was found in a distressed state, Miss Blake, by the beat officer."

Nate leaned forward. "I don't know if you're aware of the circumstances, but Jenni hasn't seen her mother since she was a baby."

"I was given up for adoption. I only traced my mother recently." Jenni explained. The policewoman's brow cleared.

"Are you aware of her home circumstances?" she asked.

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Nate told her everything they knew, including the findings of Mr. Field and the note Jenni had received.

"Was my mother attacked?" Jenni blurted the question.

She feared her leaving to go on holiday with Nate had somehow precipitated the event.

The police officer shook her head. "Not exactly. When the beat officer found her, she was wearing just a thin nightdress.

Mr. Clark, Pete, the man she lived with, had lost his temper, which I understand, wasn't unusual. He smashed the house up. Tracey got scared and ran outside, intending to go back in when he had calmed down." She paused in her narration, her pretty face sober.

"What happened?" Jenni couldn't take her eyes from the young woman's face. She felt glad of Nate's reassuring presence, even though his expression still seemed frozen in a mixture of pity and concern.

"When she thought it was safe, she went back inside. She found Mr. Clark dead. He'd left her a note. In his psychotic state he thought she had gone for good, and the balance of his mind was so disturbed, he killed himself."

Nate swore softly under his breath. Jenni gasped with horror.

"Your mother was in a state of shock when she was found.

She hasn't anyone she could call. She gave us your name as her next of kin."

Jenni wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I'd like to see her."

Nate glanced at her. "Are you sure, Jen?" His voice sounded gruff with concern.

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Jenni nodded. "She needs me, and I want to see her, talk to her."

The policewoman stood up.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Nate offered.

She looked at his face, seeing his tired eyes and the days'