Claimed by the Order (S-Gods, #1) (18 page)

“Akad, I wasn’t done yet.” Marduk’s face flushed.

“I want to do something different,” Akad said, looking down at Marduk with a smile. “I want to see your face when I’m inside you.”

The color in Marduk’s face deepened, but he made no objection. Akad released his arms, pulled Marduk’s legs up around his back, and watched Marduk’s chest heave as he prepared him. Then, pressing his cock against Marduk’s opening, he eased gently in; and, with one swift thrust, buried his cock deep inside him. Marduk released a cry, his mouth wide open and back arched. Akad froze, struggling for breath. So this was what he was missing; the pink in Marduk’s complexion, his soft lips trembling and gasping for air.
Oh gods.

Akad thrust again and again, Marduk’s complexion deepening in color each time, until a fire rushed through Akad’s body, burning in his face and driving him to greater heights. Marduk cried and gasped for air again, and Akad swooned just watching him. He kissed Marduk’s open mouth, pinning his hands to the bed, and fucked him harder until he squirmed and pled beneath him. His protest fueled Akad’s passion, but Akad prolonged his release, longing to soak up every word and every whimper that issued forth from his lover’s mouth.

“Akad, please,” Marduk pleaded, but Akad kept going, driving deeper until Marduk’s body shuddered, coming undone, and Akad’s climax rocked through him, engulfing every cell of his body. Akad slumped forward onto Marduk, burying his face in his neck. After catching his breath, he kissed Marduk’s wet cheeks and wondered at his tears.

“What is it?” Akad asked, wiping the moisture from his eyes.

Marduk buried his face in Akad’s chest but said nothing.
Did he hurt Marduk again?
His stomach tightened.

“Marduk, please tell me,” he whispered. “Have I done something wrong?”

“No, Akad. It’s not you. It’s just—I think I’m in love with you. But I can’t do this anymore.”

Akad’s heart stopped beating, and the warmth drained from his face. “What do you mean, you can’t do this?”

“Akad, I can’t be with you anymore. It’s too much, Akad, I can’t....” Marduk sat up, tears streaming down his face.

“Marduk, please don’t say that.” Akad sat up beside him, holding Marduk’s face in his hands. Marduk’s look of desperation reminded him of Talos, and Akad’s heart dropped into his stomach.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this. You have to talk to me, Marduk.”

“There’s nothing I can say or do. I just need you to leave me.”

“No. Marduk, I won’t. Please give me a chance. I swear. I’ll do anything. Gods, Marduk.” Akad kissed Marduk’s lips, but it felt like a knife was jabbing through his chest. He gasped, pressing his forehead to Marduk’s; the pain in his heart was too much. “Please, Marduk. Let me make things right. Did I hurt you? Tell me. I swear I can be gentle. Just tell me what you need, and I will be that for you. I’ll give anything for you.”

Marduk’s eyes met his, and Akad could see the wheels turning. He watched Marduk with bated breath, waiting for his reply. Marduk lowered his eyes.

“Well,” he said softly, “sometimes I feel so out of control when we are together. Even though your powers are suppressed at the temple, I can still feel them seeping through you, and sometimes it’s too much.” Marduk stared at his hands and blinked. “Sometimes I’m lost when we’re together, and I need a chance to be in control.”

Akad lowered his eyes. He remembered the times when Marduk had tried to take the upper hand —and how he had shut him down.

“Marduk, I didn’t realize.” Akad’s throat constricted. Anshar’s threat returned to mind. If Akad ever gave his body to another god, his father would disown him. He would no longer be Anshar’s heir. A pit formed in his stomach. Was this what Marduk wanted of him? Could he really submit to Marduk and become everything his father feared he would be.

“It’s not just that, Akad,” Marduk continued. “Tonight I watched you. I was struggling to get through to you, but you stared down at me as if you heard nothing I said. It was like you weren’t even there.”

Marduk’s words dug into Akad’s chest. “But I was with you the whole time, Marduk.” Suddenly cold, he hugged his arms to his chest. “I heard you plead. I heard you and absorbed every word. The sound of your voice makes me want you even more; your cries make me crazy.”

Realizing how selfish his confession sounded, Akad buried his face in his hands. Why hadn’t he realized he was making Marduk feel such terror? Frustration racked his mind.

“I’m sorry,” Akad said. “I guess I didn’t consider your feelings.” He wrapped his arms around Marduk’s shoulders.

“But I can be gentle.” He kissed Marduk’s wet lips. He was ready to do anything to make things right. “Please let me make it up to you. Tell me what you need from me, and I’ll do it.” He heard the words escape his own lips but couldn’t believe he had said them. Was he ready to defy his father? His throat was suddenly dry, and the warmth fled from his face.

“Akad,” Marduk said, moving close to him, “you don’t displease me. Sometimes I need you to touch me and for you to let me touch you.”

Akad raised his eyes to meet Marduk’s, but it felt like pins were prickling under his skin.

“I can show you, Akad. Let me guide you.”

A sense of relief spread through Akad’s chest, but the pressure had yet to lift. The threat of losing Marduk was now replaced with the threat of shaming his father.

“If you like, I’ll take it slow,” said Marduk. “Just kiss me.”

Akad kissed Marduk’s lips, but Marduk broke away. “No ... lower.” Akad stared at Marduk before leaning in to kiss his neck. “Keep going lower,” Marduk insisted. Akad’s heartbeat quickened. He knew where this was going; his cheeks became hot. He suddenly felt shame for how he’d neglected his lover. After kissing Marduk’s nipples, a sliver of fear shot through him. Marduk’s stomach came next, followed by the beautiful spot above his pelvis. Then Akad’s gaze drifted to Marduk’s perfectly sculpted cock. He froze, breathing in Marduk’s intoxicating scent. He wanted to taste him, but his heart was beating out of his chest. What would his father think if he knew what he was doing? Was Akad proving him right? Was he really as weak as his father said he was? His cheek grazed the head of Marduk’s cock, causing Marduk’s body to jerk.

“Kiss me,” Marduk’s tortured voice pleaded. Akad wanted Marduk badly. He wanted to taste him and take him into his mouth. He realized, in that moment, that he had wanted to ever since Marduk first sucked him. Grasping Marduk’s cock at the base, he pressed his lips to the head. Marduk groaned and shuddered, Akad’s heart surged with excitement. He closed his eyes and took Marduk into his mouth. The tremor of Marduk’s body as his lips slid down his shaft filled Akad with a surge of power. He was holding this god suspended by his very core, and Marduk’s body was his to command. He grasped Marduk’s hips, taking control of his cock. Marduk writhed and squirmed in his grasp, but Akad kept going. He wanted to feel Marduk’s cock pulse and tremble on his tongue as he came unraveled, locked in the vice of his mouth. He wanted to drive Marduk crazy, feel and taste every moment of his ecstasy, but a loud bang broke his concentration.

His head shot up. No one else was in the room, but the sound came again. Someone was knocking on the door. Marduk sat up, his face flushed.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, grappling for his clothes.

“What’s going on? Were you expecting someone?”

Marduk avoided Akad’s eyes as he dressed. “I’ll take care of it,” he said. “Please stay right here.” Marduk crossed the room, slipping out the door and shutting it behind him.

Staring blankly at the entrance, Akad realized how strange the situation was. Marduk seemed so nervous. Who could possibly be knocking at this time? He stepped off the bed, crossed the room, and pressed his ear to the door. The voice on the other side sounded angry, but the words were too muffled to understand. Akad wished he was dressed. He wanted to step into the corridor and bust in the head of the god who was chiding Marduk, but Marduk had asked him to stay put. Plus, how would he explain being in Marduk’s room? Akad gritted his teeth. Then the voices moved farther away from the door, fading until he heard nothing. His stomach dropped. Had Marduk actually left him alone in his room?

Akad retreated to the bed and lay waiting, thinking and worrying for some time. He tried to comprehend what could possibly have happened. What god had the power to pull Marduk away from his room in the middle of the night? The more he thought about it, the more he seethed. His father’s warnings came back to him. Was Marduk in some kind of trouble? Was that why he’d broken down? Every possible explanation made his stomach twist tighter. Akad resolved to stay in the room until Marduk returned. His thoughts continued to torture him until sleep took him under.

M
arduk opened his eyes and blinked. Sunlight was spilling into the room through an open shutter. Staring at the window, he realized he wasn’t in his room. He sat up and turned to find Shamash lying naked beside him. His heart leapt. Then everything from the night before came crashing in on him. He and Akad had been together, and Akad had been well on his way to giving Marduk everything when Shamash knocked on his door. Marduk wished he had never opened it. He had imagined he could explain away his absence—that telling Shamash about Seth’s assault would be enough—but the moment Marduk slipped out the door, Shamash had taken hold of him. Marduk had pleaded with the god, but Shamash would hear none of it. Without a word, he had dragged Marduk to his room, threw him on his bed, and fucked him. When Marduk tried to leave, Shamash dragged him back and fucked him again.

“Break the rules and you pay the consequences,” Shamash had growled in his ear before taking him the third and last time that night. Never before had Shamash been so brutal, and his handling brought Marduk to tears. Shamash told Marduk he would no longer stay in his own room. Each day, he was to go to his classes and report to Shamash’s bedchamber afterward.

The thought of Akad waiting for him in his room made his stomach twist. He hoped Akad had left earlier rather than later. Either way, he had no explanation for why he had disappeared in the middle of the night, leaving Akad stranded in his bed.

Marduk glanced across the room at the closed wooden door, and then his eyes shifted back to Shamash. Shamash lay sleeping, the mane of his chestnut hair splayed over the sheets, and his breathing slow and rhythmic. Marduk took a deep breath and slowly rose from the bed, but before he could get away, a hand reached out and caught his wrist.

“Where are you going?” the god’s voice rumbled.

Marduk closed his eyes, slumping back on the bed. “I’m going to my classes,” he replied, trying to hide the defeat in his voice.

“Turn around and look at me.” Marduk turned, taking in the god’s stern expression. “I’ve tried to make this easy for you, Marduk, but you’re proving to be more trouble than you’re worth. You asked to be exempt from Seth’s attentions, and I gave you your wish. Additionally, the gods of the Order would be more than happy to pass you around each and every night, but I make them wait in line so you can please them one at a time. After all I’ve done, you repay me by going against me and breaking Order rules.”

Marduk lowered his eyes, his face burning. He had already told Shamash about Seth’s assault, but Shamash had ignored every word, not seeming to care. Maybe Seth’s taunts had truth; maybe Shamash had given Seth leave to do it.

“I want you to tell me about Anu.” Marduk flinched and looked up at Shamash. His throat was suddenly dry as Seth’s threats to take Akad came back to him. Shamash lowered his brow and stared at Marduk as if he could see right through him.

“Have you fucked him?” Shamash asked calmly.

The color drained from Marduk’s face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Shamash lunged forward, grabbed Marduk’s balls, and squeezed. Marduk gasped, a cry of protest escaping his lips.

“Did you put your dick inside him?” Shamash growled, clamping tighter.

“No!” Marduk cried, fighting back tears, and realized too late that he should have lied.

Shamash smiled and loosened his grip. “You know, Marduk, as much as I love owning you, I look forward to you being free as a full member of the Order. There will be a party tonight in the lower hall. I want you to invite Anu. Bring him to us, and he will be your pledge. Once he’s inducted, you can fuck him all you want.”

After rising from the bed, Shamash strode across the room and donned a tunic. Marduk stared at him, his mouth still open, and suddenly felt weak and light-headed.

“You can go to your classes now,” Shamash said, his back turned.

Marduk left immediately, sparing no time, but when he arrived at his quarters, he found his bedchamber vacant. His tears spilled freely as he collapsed on his bed. Shamash had just given him an order he could not obey. Marduk pulled his hair. He was running out of options with no idea what he could do.

Marduk had tried so many times to take Akad. Memories of the evening before came back to him. He could have done it. Imagining they had all night, Marduk had opted to take things slow. When Akad asked him what he wanted, Marduk could have fucked him right then, but he was sensitive to Akad’s feelings. The thought of manipulating him made him feel hollow and fake. The Order had made him a whore, but that didn’t mean he had to be one in real life. After ditching Akad in his bed, Marduk doubted he’d have another opportunity.

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B
y the time Marduk dragged himself from his room, he had missed Shamash’s class. After arriving at his sexuality course, he stripped off his clothes, stepped into the pool, and sank into the water beside Shala and Nanya. His only desire was to make it through the day. The sooner his classes were over, the sooner he would meet up with Akad. Marduk’s gaze followed a large lily pad as it floated across the pool. Then the image of Akad appeared before him. His breath caught in his chest. All eyes turned toward the magnificent god standing naked in the foliage entrance. With his long brown hair and his hard body, Akad was more beautiful than any god he’d ever seen. Akad walked toward the pond, his confidence never faltering, and stopped at the water’s edge. The moment his eyes fell on Marduk, he stepped into the water and waded toward him. Marduk was sure his heart was going to stop. Akad stared him down as he approached, and without a word, sank down in the water beside him. Marduk closed his eyes, breathing deeply. Any hope of their love remaining secret faded in that moment.