Cole (The Leaves) (14 page)

“But, it’ll make your mom really, really happy.” She laughed. “It makes my head hurt. But, since we are having such a small wedding I think she’s right; people will want to send things because that’s the way it’s done. Maybe I’ll just tell her to pick what she thinks would suit your home and be done with it. What do you think? And after you answer I don’t want to talk about this anymore. My head is going to explode.” She said this stabbing the pie.

I couldn’t help laughing heartily. After I’d composed myself and she’d shot me a look of playful annoyance I answered. “First of all, it’s not my home it’s our home and second, good call. I’ll let her know next time I talk to her. Listen, I want to ask you something else.”

“Don’t make my head explode.” She sounded pissed, but her lips turned slowly into a smile and then she gave me a full grin, her teeth completely covered in chocolate pie.

.“No, I wouldn’t want to do that.” I chuckled. “The cabin… it’s pretty sparse. I think it could do with a little… sprucing up.”

“Does it have a bed?”

“Yeah.”

“Does it have heat?”

“Yes.”

“Then, it has everything.” She rose from the barstool and stood in front of me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I did the same, burying my face in her hair and taking a deep breath.

“Not everything. I was wondering if you would like to keep you green loveseat there. The one from your studio.”

She turned herself around quickly in my arms. “That’s the first thing I really bought for myself. Oh my god, Cole. That would be fantastic. That’s a great idea. Oh, I can just picture myself on it, a mug of hot cocoa, snow gathering on the little window panes, sleigh bells jingling in the distance…”

“Sleigh bells?”

“Yeah, you know, on those big sleds. How else to people get around in the snow.”

Trying not to laugh at her, I pulled myself together and explained, “Anika. I think your idea of mountain living is kind of Dickens’ novel ideal. They make these special chains you put on the tires of your car and if there’s just too much snow, they have these magic machines called snow mobiles with skis on the bottom. You hop on and zoom through the snow.”

“You’re mocking me, aren’t you?” She asked dryly.

“Sorry. No sleigh bells, that I’ve seen. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t there.”

“Damn. I had this whole image in my head.”

“I’ll try to make that dream come true for you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“And you can paint there. It’s already set up. I’ll make sure your little couch will be there too.”

“Do you think…?” She stopped and I knew she was drifting back toward the dark cloud that followed us home from my parent’s house.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Your dad implied…”

“What did he imply, Anika?” I asked gently.

“I think he told me he would happily arrange for my mom to visit the same vacation spot as Joe. If she’s alive that is.”

I could see that just her saying this aloud took a great deal of mental energy. “What do you want? You know, the fact remains that Joe didn’t act alone. Your mother allowed him to do those horrible things and she wasn’t an innocent bystander.”

“That doesn’t mean I want your dad to order a hit on her.”

“Well, I don’t think he has ties to the mafia or anything. But Serena, her family, they feel like they have a debt that needs to be paid.”

“It’s murder, Cole.” She said quietly. “I left her house knowing I wouldn’t see her ever again. She hated my very existence. But Joe, he promised he would see me again one day and he kept his word. I have to believe she’s already suffering somewhere whether that’s here or the fiery pits of Hell. My happiness is the best revenge. So, if he mentions it to you, because I don’t want to talk about it again, please make it clear… I don’t want that. Joe’s end had very little to do with me, so I don’t feel badly about that, I can’t let myself go there. But my mom, that’s different. I don’t want that burden. I want to live my life with you and be happy, Cole. Everything that’s happened to us… we’ll gain more distance from it with time. The memory will get fuzzier and eventually, it’ll be crowded out by all the good we’ve created.”

I took her into my arms once more. “How you can be so forgiving amazes me. You’re a better person than I am, because honestly, if I ever meet her she better fuckin’ run.” I was happy she laughed a little at that, it lightened the mood, but her words, her heart, she was beautiful inside and out.

She pulled me from the kitchen and led me into the living room. She sat and pulled me down to the couch and snuggled against me.

“You see that, Cole?”

“What am I looking at?” I’d actually closed my eyes, just listening to her breathe.

“Our painting. That dark storm, which was my past. As the years go by, it gets farther and farther away. She can’t touch me. Joe was a set back and like I told your dad tonight, any more thought I put into this does nothing more than remind me about my past. I don’t want to think about it.”

“We won’t talk about it again, okay?”

“Okay.”

***

I wanted to tell Anika exactly what the meeting I was going to today was about, but I didn’t, couldn’t. I reluctantly asked my mother for her help and in turn, she included my father. I wanted to be sure I was doing the right thing.

When I walked into the restaurant, I wondered if he’d look anything like the photo I’d received from Mom. I could tell it was old, taken in the eighties by the look of the suit and hairstyle. John Parker was waiting for me, having no idea he was about to be blindsided by his past. I’d never done anything like this in my life. My father would be great at this sort of thing, I knew I had it in me, but wasn’t sure I wanted to make it a habit – deceit. I was going behind Anika’s back and it killed me to lie to her.

“Mr. Parker?”

He rose from the table to shake my hand. “Yes. Mr. Carlyle.”

“You know who I am?” I sat down across from him as he took his seat.

“I know exactly who you are. You’re engaged to Anika Redding.” I was hoping he didn’t know who I was or my connection to Anika. I should’ve done this differently. “What I want to know is why you went to the trouble of arranging this meeting. There’s no reason I can think of that you’d want to meet me. Your family has its own lawyers, so I’m sure you don’t require my services. I’m not Anika’s father and you contacting me tells me either you don’t know that, and want to ask my blessing, although if that were the case I can’t imagine her wanting me there since we’ve been estranged so long… or you’re following the reputation of your father and you just want to invite me to the wedding to be an asshole. So which is it?”

Wow, this guy was pissed. And he’d already answered one of my questions. His attitude, his anger, I knew it was only to mask his heartache. It was written all over him. “Mr. Parker? I’ll explain everything, but I need you to know, I’m here for Anika. She doesn’t know I’m here and I’m taking a huge risk, but I’ll tell you what I do know. Firstly, I need you to tell me why you left when she was six?”

“Can I start you with something to drink?” A perky waitress asked.

“Coffee.” We both answered at the same time. She realized we dismissed her and scurried away.

“Why?” He asked.

“Why what, Mr. Parker?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Okay, perhaps we should start over here…”

“No!” He quietly spat the words at me through gritted teeth. “I have nothing I want to say to you. Walking away from that little girl broke my heart. When her mother told me she wasn’t mine, I fell apart. I had to move back in with my parents, Mr. Carlyle. It took me three years to get myself out of the shit and move on with my life. She was the sun and the moon for me. Since I saw her name in the paper, it stirred it all up again. My wife has no idea what happened to me. She knows I was married before and my ex-wife had an affair, that’s it. I don’t want to reopen that wound. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

Trying to see beyond his anger, I took in his appearance. He was tall, at least six foot four, maybe taller, but very thin and fair like Anika and the one thing I knew that made me certain, even without the proof I had to back it up, were his eyes, the exact same steel blue eyes as hers.

We sat for a moment in silence while the waitress poured the coffee. “We’ll let you know when we’re ready…” I glanced at her name tag, “Cynthia. Thank you.” After he gave me the stare of death, I decided this was the moment and I laid it all out for him.

“Mr. Parker, I love Anika. Depending on what you tell me today, I think she will be happy to have you in her life again. I realize now, you don’t think she’s your biological daughter, but I hired someone to determine if you are.”

“What do you mean?”

“I believe the evidence gathered was hair samples, toothbrush, that sort of thing.”

“You know how many laws you’ve broken…” He shouted, heads turning throughout the diner, but I remained calm as I delivered the news he needed to hear.

“She’s your daughter, Mr. Parker. Marla Redding lied to you. Why? I have no idea. I’m happy to provide you with everything you need to have the testing done yourself. I have nothing to gain from this, you know I don’t need money, this is about Anika. However…” I slid another folder to him and nodded toward it as I spoke, “that is everything that’s happened to her since you left her life. I can’t read it again, it’s too much, makes me violent, but it’s important you understand when I tell you, if you can’t be a person she deserves and can trust, then we’ll forget this meeting ever took place and you will remain part of her history and nothing more. She’s strong, stronger than any man I’ve ever met, but I don’t want her to hurt anymore.”

He hesitated, still trying to size me up, but finally he opened the file and read while I sipped my coffee. I heard him take a few deep breaths and hold them. I didn’t watch him, but I didn’t have to, to know the emotion he was experiencing.

“She drank.” He said quietly, every ounce of brevity he had previously was gone as he spoke.

“Pardon?”

“I said, she drank. Not all the time, but when I had a work function or party, she would always have that one drink too many. The firm had our annual Christmas party at Trinity Towers…” He gave me a knowing look. He had obviously been following Anika’s life, knew about us as a couple and me as a businessman. “Same place every year… Marla looked beautiful that night. I watched her flirt shamelessly with a man that worked there, with a few men. I pretended not to notice, but she and one of the senior partners went missing about the same time. I don’t know how much time passed, but when I saw her again, I knew he’d had her. She came right up to me and kissed me, made a big production out of it and asked if we could go home. For the next few months I kept myself very busy. Then she announced she was pregnant and her whole personality changed. She was happy, happier than I’d seen her in a long time. Those first years with Anika were great. Marla was a wonderful mother, believe me. Then, six years later, the annual Christmas party came and Marla went overboard. She was a sloppy, slutty drunk. The same partner she’d been with before wasn’t interested. He’d since gotten married, and Marla all but threw herself at him, pissing off his wife in the process. I apologized to everyone, suggested she get some air and tried to take her outside, but she abruptly told me to ‘fuck off’, creating a scene. I thought it was better she cool off before I tried to approach her again, but she turned around and stated, ‘
That’s
Anika’s dad, John. Not you.’ Needless to say, I had to leave my job. After that, I did try to help Marla with her drinking problem, encouraged her to get help. I tried to get her into a program but the thing was… she was fine after that. I never saw her take a drink again. She went to work every day like nothing happened. But she made it harder for me. She didn’t want me around, said she wanted to start dating, and wanted a divorce. Didn’t want Anika to know the truth and said it was better if I just made a clean break, it’d be better for Anika. Where is Marla, you must have some idea?”

“We think… she may have passed.” I delivered this news delicately, but he seemed to have no emotion to the idea that Marla had died.

“Do you love… my daughter?” He asked.

“She’s my sun and moon.” I answered using his words, never breaking eye contact.

“Are you ready to order?”

“Go. Away.” John snapped viciously at the poor woman. She wouldn’t be coming back.

“She doesn’t know I did this, Mr. Parker. I will protect her from any more pain until my dying breath, but her memory of going to Disneyland with you is the one and only happy memory of her childhood she has ever shared. She thought you just left and considering what you left her to, she might find it hard to forgive you at first but I’m sure after she hears what you have to say, that’ll change. She’s your child. If you can assure me you won’t hurt her…”

“I would never hurt her, my God, if I’d had any idea what Marla was capable of…” His words pained. “I would always have treated her as my blood.”

“She has people in her life now that love her, would do anything for her, but having you walk her down the aisle, I want to give that to her Mr. Parker.”

“Please, Mr. Carlyle, call me John.”

“Call me Cole. Here’s my card. I’m sure you need some time to think about…”

“No. Enough time has already been stolen from us. I’ll talk to my wife and I should call my son. He’s nineteen, his name is David. He’ll love the fact he has a sister. My wife however is gonna go ballistic that I kept this from her.” He chuckled and shook his head back and forth. “I can’t believe it. All this time.” He reached into his back pocket and took out a black leather wallet. He took out several cards and opened a small envelope and handed a photo to me. “She’s five there. It was her kindergarten photo. Poor thing lost that tooth two days before and cried that she was going to look ugly. I told her the tooth fairy paid double if you lost a tooth before picture day. Every year on her birthday I go to a restaurant by myself and order a slice of chocolate cake to go. It was her favorite. Then I go home, lock myself in my office and tell my wife I’m not to be disturbed under any circumstances. I sing “Happy Birthday” to that little girl in the photo, have a few bites of cake, then I drink until I pass out. So if you’re wondering if I’m gonna break her heart Cole, the answer is no.”