Come as You Are (63 page)

Romney, Mitt,
210

Rumi,
148

Sacks, Oliver,
295
,
299

Safe haven,
133
,
135

Same parts/different organization,
5
,
40
,
154
,
325

arousal nonconcordance and,
197
–99

dual control model and,
64
–66

female-male,
16
,
18
,
19

importance of concept,
34
–37

intersex,
32

orgasm and,
271
–72

Sanctity/degradation moral foundation,
171
,
288

Sanders, Stephanie,
73

Science,
8
,
40
,
66

on cognitive dissonance,
182

desire maximization with,
245
–55

of falling in love,
132
–34

on media literacy,
183
–84

on self-compassion,
177
–80

Science of Trust, The
(Gottman),
75
,
240
,
241

Scientific Guide to Successful Relationships
(Nagoski),
142
–43

Scrotal raphe,
19
,
20

Scrotum,
17
,
19
,
20

Sealed-off sex,
137

Secure attachment style,
139
–41

Secure base,
133
–34

Seeger, Pete,
292

Segal, Zindel,
130

Self-assertion,
253

Self-compassion,
156
,
177
–80,
317

exercise to increase,
180

key elements of,
178

Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind
(Neff),
178

Self Compassion Scale (SCS),
178

Self-criticism.
See
Body self-criticism

Self-esteem,
179

Self-indulgence,
179

Self-judgment,
178
.
See also
Nonjudging

Self-kindness,
123
,
165
,
178
,
290
–91,
317

Self-paced termination,
116

Self-protection,
253

Seminal colliculus,
28

Seminal ducts,
28

Seminal fluid,
30

Sensation in context,
77
–83,
94

Sensorimotor therapy,
129
,
310

Separation distress,
136
,
139
,
283

Sermons to Young Women
(Fordyce),
159

SES.
See
Sexual excitation system

Sex

as “dirty,”
170
–72

forgoing to increase desire,
153
–54,
252

stress and,
117
–20

that advances the plot,
136
–37,
150
,
242
,
247

the true story of,
2
–5

Sex and the City
(television program),
46

Sex drive myth,
6
,
229
–36,
257

consequences of believing,
231
–33

feelings apparently validating,
233
–36

true drives compared with,
229
–31

Sex flush,
44

Sexual accelerator,
4
,
46
–47,
48
–51,
247
,
283
.
See also
Dual control model; Sexual excitation system

in arousal process,
51
–53

cultural context and,
244

expecting
and,
86

gender differences in,
60
–61,
294

mechanism of action,
48

stress and,
118
,
147

Sexual assault/rape,
125
,
126
–27,
147
–48.
See also
Trauma

Akin’s remarks on,
210
,
357
n
20

arousal nonconcordance and,
204
–5

estimated incidence of,
124

intact hymen following,
29

male sexual entitlement and,
232

orgasm during,
270

Project Unbreakable on,
209

Sexual Attitude Reassessment,
176

Sexual brake,
4
,
46
–47,
48
–51,
247
,
283
.
See also
Dual control model; Sexual inhibition system

arousal nonconcordance and,
212
–13

in arousal process,
51
–53

body self-criticism and,
165

context and,
79

cultural context and,
243
,
244

disgust and,
172
,
175

focus group findings on,
73
–74

gender differences in,
60
–61,
294

mechanism of action,
48

medicating away,
213
–15

orgasm difficulty and,
280
,
291

as predictor of sexual problems,
53

stress and,
118
,
147

Sexual excitation system (SES),
63
,
154
.
See also
Dual control model; Sexual accelerator

changing,
66
–69

explained,
48
–49

gender differences in,
60
–61

as a trait,
51
–52,
67

Sexual Healing Journey, The: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse
(Maltz),
128

Sexual inhibition system (SIS),
63
,
154
,
280
.
See also
Dual control model; Sexual brake

changing,
66
–69

explained,
49

gender differences in,
60
–61

genetic factors in,
349
n
9

as a trait,
51
–52,
67

two components of,
49
,
349
n
9

Sexual maps,
297
,
300
–308

Sexual orientation,
349
–50
n
13

Sexual scripts,
300
,
303

Sexual Temperament Questionnaire,
54
–58

Sexually appealing stimuli,
21
,
195
–96,
198
–99,
207
,
208
,
222

Sexually relevant stimuli,
47
,
67
,
78
–79

arousal nonconcordance and,
195
–96,
198
–99,
205
,
207
,
208
,
211
,
222