Come Pour the Wine (21 page)

All right, she believed his feelings now … “Well, we’ll keep trying. I left word at the hotel to call as soon as she comes in.”

He winced. “If anything happens to her—”

“Keep a good thought. Drink your coffee while it’s hot.”

He wasn’t listening. He stared up at the ceiling. “I’m a fool but not a complete idiot … she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I threw it away. Destroyed it. I took advantage of her love—”

“Well, at least you can admit it, which is a comforting thing for you—”

“No, it’s not. I feel like there’s a big hole inside me. It’s after twelve now, she’s been missing since four this morning.”

They’d sat in silence, each with their thoughts.

And then the phone had rung. It was the hotel, reporting that Janet Stevens was in her room….

When they were let into Janet’s room, they found her unconscious.

Bill sat on the edge of the bed and held her very cold hand in his. He wanted to die.

Kit phoned for an ambulance….

After they’d got Janet settled, Kit went home to Nat but Bill took a room at the hospital. For three days he hardly ever left. She had pneumonia. If he’d ever prayed, he did so now.

After five days Janet regained consciousness. She was still in an oxygen tent but her breathing was more even and her vital signs improved. The first face she saw was Kit’s.

Whispering, she said, “Thank you … I love you, Kit.”

“And I love you, baby.”

“You shouldn’t be here in your condition.”

“You’re worrying about me?”

“That’s what friends are for, isn’t it?”

“I’ll buy that. The doctor says you’re coming along great. Be good as new in a few days,” Kit said, hoping she sounded more convincing than she felt.

“How long have I been here?”

“Five days.”

“I must have been really sick.”

“Yeah, you were a sick cookie, all right.”

“Kit, would you call my mother and father?”

“Do you want to worry them now that you’re on the mend?”

“Maybe you’re right, but I’d feel better …”

“Okay, if you want.”

“No, on the other hand … I have to grow up, Kit. I’m not very strong, just fell apart … Do you think I’ll ever put the pieces back together?”

“You can bet on that … Now let me do the talking, Janet. Bill’s been here with me. He hasn’t left the hospital. You know I’m the world’s champion cynic and show-me girl, but I’m telling you, he loves you, Janet. More than you can believe. And who would blame you? But if you believed him too much before, don’t go to the opposite direction now. You should have seen him New Year’s morning when he came to my apartment. He was a destroyed man. We had a long talk and for the first time I really felt sorry for him. I know he’s hurt you a lot. But will you see him?”

Janet wondered if she should risk it. In his fashion, maybe he had loved her. And it had been her self-delusion that had led her on too … But how much was her illness influencing him now? Was he here only out of guilt? Mostly?

Kit could guess the questions in Janet’s mind. “I don’t want to persuade you, Janet, one way or another, but he’s outside waiting for an answer. What shall I tell him?”

“To come in.”

When Bill came into the room and sat by her bed she was as shocked by his appearance as he had been by hers. He was gaunt and hollow-eyed. The ordeal he’d gone through no longer needed to be questioned. And when he looked at her now he was ridden by the same thought that he’d lived with for the last five days.
He
had brought her to this … There were dark circles under her eyes and the outline of her body, even under the blanket, seemed near-skeletal. Her once shiny hair was dull and limp.

He took her limp hand between his, but it was impossible to speak at first. Finally, his voice low and intent, he said it. “Janet, I love you. I admit it’s a lousy way to come to one’s senses, but it’s taken
this
to make me realize that without you I just have nothing. Honey … please, please say you’ll marry me …”

She looked at him, said nothing.

When she did not respond he said, “God, Janet, I know I’ve hurt you, hurt you terribly. Nothing I say can make up for that or show you how I feel. Just give me the chance to
show
you.”

She was so
tired,
so weary. “We’ll talk about it when I’m well, when we’re both feeling less emotional … it’s been a bad time …”

He got up and held her frail body very close and kissed her. “I love you, Janet. I never said that to anyone before, except you. You know that, at least. I love you. Just give me some hope that you’ll—”

“Not today.”

He replaced the flap of the oxygen tent and walked out of the room, feeling dead.

When Kit saw him, she knew that if, as they said, the eyes were the mirror of the soul, then Bill’s soul was in hell.

“She won’t marry me, Kit.”

“Did she say so?”

“No, but she certainly didn’t say she would. I’m afraid, Kit, very afraid she won’t. Well, it seems I got what I wanted … my damned freedom.”

“Nothing stays the same. Janet’s been hurt and unsure of you for so long she’s very afraid. Can you blame her? All right, if you really want her, fight for her.”

E
ACH DAY FOUND JANET
just a little stronger. Bill was with her constantly.

Her room was filled with flowers. He had special food sent in, and they had dinner together every night. He bought her presents and silly little gadgets, hoping to make her laugh—and they did. When she was able to get out of bed she walked down the hall on his arm. She was, finally, beginning to look a little more like herself.

When it came time for her to leave the hospital, Bill persuaded her to come back to his apartment rather than return to her hotel. His housekeeper would be with her in the daytime and he would spend as much time with her as possible.

She was too weary to resist, to think of another alternative, but as she lay next to him in bed that first night she
did
feel as if she’d come home. Yes, she’d been put off by the guilt he felt over her illness, but she was also beginning to see that the suffering they’d been through—he no less than she—had, in its fashion, bonded them more closely.

Over the month of her convalescence she had not been able to make love. Her feelings were too mixed. It wasn’t easy on him and she knew it. He didn’t say a word, though, and showed his love in a thousand other ways. Not once did he ask her to marry him. This time, though, there was no need to question his motives. She knew he was waiting for her. This time she was not deluded. She had gone through her testing … she was a woman now. And a woman knew that when a man slept next to her consumed with desire but restrained his feeling for her … well, that man was in love….

This day she especially felt the strength inside her.

After Bill left for the office she called Kit and asked if she and Nat could come to dinner.

She planned the evening carefully, preparing escargot, beef Wellington, stuffed artichokes, scalloped potatoes, green beans with slivered almonds, and chocolate soufflé. She laughed at the menu. It was far from well-balanced, but oh, the sheer delight in feeling alive.

Bill called several times during the day to tell her not to overdo it, but her efforts had left her feeling more energetic and optimistic than she’d felt in months. By the end of the day, when she heard Bill’s key in the latch and ran to greet him she didn’t feel the least fatigued.

“God, you smell delicious,” he said as he kissed her.

She took him by the hand and led him to his favorite chair. “Let’s have a drink, just the two of us before they come. Let me fix it this time. Okay?”

“Fine.” She was looking more like herself every day, he thought as he watched her preparing their drinks, and tonight she looked radiant. He sensed a curious mix of calmness and excitement in her, but he wasn’t about to question its source. If she was happy … well, that would have to be good enough for now. He had been afraid to bring up the question of marriage again, afraid he’d long ago blown his chances. Now, come what might, he’d not ride roughshod over her feelings again by pressing her too closely on anything.

As she handed him his drink and seated herself on the ottoman by his chair he glanced through to the dining room where the table was set with crystal candleholders and a centerpiece of pink roses and baby’s breath. “You worked so hard—”

“A labor of love, you should forgive the expression. You know, I think I’m happiest when I’m cooking … Maybe I should have been a chef instead of a model.”

“Is the kitchen the
only
room where you can be happy?”

“Don’t be devious,” but he was pleased to note that she smiled when she said it.

And then Kit and Nat Weiss were being announced from the lobby.

When Kit walked into their foyer she was preceded by her now enormous belly. “You’ve got to enlarge the door for the twins and me … My God, Janet, you look scrumptious.”

As Nat shook hands with Bill he was relieved to see that he too had recovered from the ordeal of Janet’s illness … though perhaps not completely. Bill was still waiting, just as Nat had waited for Kit to give in …

As soon as they were in the living room Kit opened the conversation with the apparently inevitable subject of all mothers-to-be. “These kids are going to be wrestlers. They kick up a storm every time Nat comes near me and that, dear friends, isn’t easy with my … shall we say, girth? I think they’re jealous of the man in my life.”

“You never looked so great, Kit,” Bill said.

“Well, I never felt like this. It’s so fabulous not to have to count calories. Nat loves me fat and pregnant. At least so he says.”

“I’d love you in any shape, I say it, I mean it.”

“Good, because next time it could be triplets.”

“Don’t knock it, my mother couldn’t do that. All she had was me, which was some big deal.”

“With a son like you she didn’t need another.”

“You’re prejudiced.”

“Better believe it. You’ll pardon my bluntness, Janet, but when do we eat? I’m starved and I’ve got to feed these kids.”

Dinner was served by a maid Janet had hired for the occasion, and each course brought another round of compliments. The conversation was the usual easy banter among these four friends, but there was no longer any undercurrent of tension between Janet and Bill. Kit and Nat exchanged knowing glances as the dessert was cleared away. Bill was clearly hooked. He couldn’t take his eyes off Janet.

They sat around the table after dinner, their talk sporadic now, but only Janet was silent.

When a lull came in the conversation she looked at Bill, a shadow of uncertainty in her smile as she cleared her throat and said, “I’d like to propose a toast … To the man I love. Now … and always …”

Bill looked startled, and although he spoke in an offhand manner there was an intentness in his eyes as he said, “Is that a proposition or a proposal?”

“Most definitely a proposal. Is it okay … ?

Without hesitation Bill got up and went to Janet. Holding her face cupped in his hand he looked directly into her eyes. No surprise, no evasion this time.
“Thank
you, darling.”

Kit and Nat looked on with pleased smiles. “My God,” Kit said with a laugh. “I feel as if I’ve just witnessed a miracle. And about time, too.
Mazel tov.
When’s the lucky day? Or is it too early to ask?”

“As soon as possible,” Bill said, glancing down at Janet from where he sat on the arm of her chair.

When the party broke up and they stood in the foyer saying good-by, Kit put her arm around Bill and quietly said, “This is the greatest news I’ve heard in a long time. My only, my best wish for you is to be as happy as I am.”

He could only nod his thanks.

She gave him a hug, thinking of all she had shared with these two. “Okay, Nat,” she said as she slipped into her coat. “Time to put the kiddies to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Janet. And I love you both.”

That night there was a newness to their lovemaking, as if all that had gone before had merely been a preamble to what they would now share. All the pain and love of the last year only brought them together with a greater tenderness in each kiss, each caress of the hand. Bill found himself finally
knowing
that Janet was the most important person in his life.

He held her against him in the darkened bedroom. “Darling, let’s get married tomorrow. We can fly to Mexico—”

She smiled. “But don’t you want a real wedding?”

“I don’t really care, but if it’s important to you I guess I can wait … if it’s not
too
long.”

“I’ll have to call my parents first and break the news. They still don’t know about us.”

“You mean you never told them anything?”

“No—”

“Why?”

“I guess I was afraid to,” she answered reluctantly. “I couldn’t very well tell them we were lovers, and I was never sure enough about us to know what to tell them.”

“Well, you can be sure now. If you think I’m going to let you get away again, you’re mistaken. You’re hooked, for life.”

“So are you,” she answered, snuggling closer.

He didn’t flinch this time, he wanted her more than ever.

The next day they drove out to Long Island to see his mother. As on Janet’s few previous visits, Violet was the essence of charm, until Bill said, without preamble, “Mother, Janet and I are getting married.”

Violet sat there, all aplomb out the window—or rather out the mouth, which in Violet’s case was now wide open.
This
wasn’t the way she had imagined Bill would tell her—when the time came she’d assumed he’d come alone and break the news gently.

She was shocked that he hadn’t given her the respect due a mother … Ignoring Janet, she insisted on speaking to her son in private. He grimaced, clenched his hands in his pockets, but he knew he had to get this over with. Excusing himself, he followed Violet across the hall to the library.

The moment Violet shut the door she went off like a rocket. “This is the most deceitful thing you have ever done to me, Bill. I think you’ll agree that your sister and I received her openly and graciously when you called and announced you were bringing a young lady here last summer. You
assured
me it was
not
serious and you’ve said nothing to indicate otherwise since then. How long has this hoax been going on?