Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) (13 page)

Chapter 23

ZOE

This whole trip had been nothing but a disaster. A colossal fucking disaster. Everything that could have gone wrong had and now I was sitting in Jenna’s car, my arms wrapped around my bag staring blankly out the window at the night sky. I didn’t know what to say. She must hate me. She’d just been summoned in the middle of the night to her sons’ house only to find them beating each other senseless.

Choking on the sob stuck in my throat, I swallowed deeply.

“You okay?” Jenna asked, her voice soft and caring.

“Yeah,” I lied.

We pulled into the driveway of her modest house and I realised that not much had changed in all the years I’d been away. Her yard was still sparse and neat, and the paint, although having been refreshed, was still the same deep forest green. Killing the ignition, Jenna climbed from the SUV and climbed the stairs.

“You coming?” she called out behind her, dragging me out of my own head.

Quickly I unbuckled my seat belt and slipped from the car. As soon as the door shut, the beep from the automatic lock propelled me absentmindedly towards the front door. Stepping into Jenna’s house, I realised just how much it felt like home…an overwhelming sensation I hadn’t been exposed to in as long as I could remember. With my parents gone and no siblings to speak of, life was sometimes lonely. It was never boring, but sometimes a girl just missed the basics. Like stepping into the time capsule of her family home. Or sitting on the floor in her teenage bedroom staring at the boy band posters of days gone by.

“Well, I need a cup of tea after all that excitement.” Jenna smiled, taking the bag from my arms and leading me towards the back of the house.

When she pushed open the door, my heart caught in my throat. I was expecting it to look exactly like it did last time I’d been there. Posters on the wall. Dirty clothes piled in the corner. An unmade bed. A pile of magazines stacked on the night stand. It was nothing like that. Spencer’s teenage bedroom was gone and had been replaced by a light, clean, and airy guest room. Complete with fluffy lavender towels folded neatly at the end of the bed. A guest room ready to be used at a moment’s notice.

Jenna must have sensed my hesitation. “It’s okay, Zoe. I know it doesn’t look like last time you were here. I promise it smells much better too.”

Jenna winked at me and I felt myself blush from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I hadn’t been aware that Jenna had known how much time I’d actually spent in Spencer’s bedroom all those years ago. Apparently she did.

With a quiet laugh, Jenna moved out of the room. “Why don’t you go and grab a hot shower and warm up while I make a pot of tea? Then we can catch up.”

Not trusting myself to string a sentence together, I agreed quickly before ducking into the bathroom. As soon as the door clicked shut behind me I was thankful for a moment to myself. I didn’t know how much I needed it until I slumped on the edge of the bath and peeled off my clothes. Up until now, Spencer had been hovering over every move I’d made. I didn’t know whether he was scared I’d break or someone would break me, but for the first time since my world had up ended, I was forced to face it. Head on. On my own. It was horrifying.

Standing naked in front of the mirror, I was shocked at just how bad I looked. My legs were a map of scratches, with a few multi-coloured bruises thrown in for good measure. My ribs had finger sized bruises on them and they screamed in agony. Up until now I’d avoided taking medication, tonight though I wasn’t going to deny myself. A pain pill would knock me out for a couple of hours and let me sleep. Let me forget. Right now, it’s what I needed more than anything.

Grabbing a wash cloth, I wiped the makeup from my face that I’d caked on earlier. I didn’t recognise the person staring back at me. I didn’t like her. Thankfully the egg on my head had started to shrink but the bruise around my eye, which yesterday had been black, was already starting to sport a yellow tinge. My lip stung as I scoured my face recklessly, dripping soap on the open wound. Gasping with pain, I rinsed quickly. Unable to look at myself any longer, I stepped into the shower and blasted the water as hot as I could stand.

I don’t know how long I stood there. I didn’t care. I knew I should have been more considerate being in someone else’s house, but I couldn’t. Instead I’d scrubbed and cleansed and exfoliated my body so many times that it was now scraped red raw. The whole time I’d been trying to wash away the filth the tears had come. Stepping from the glass encased shower, I wrapped myself in the thick towel and swatted the steamy air pointlessly.

I dressed quickly, pulling on some sweats I’d stolen from Spencer’s wardrobe before I shuffled into the kitchen. Jenna was sitting there calmly sipping her tea. If I’d have been in her shoes, I don’t think I would have been able to remain as calm as she appeared to be.

Without a word, Jenna poured me a cup and nudged the sugar bowl and milk towards me. After adding a generous dash of milk I took a long sip. It was like a warm hug for my insides. I thought I was holding it together, my body betrayed me as the tears started to fall. Reaching out, Jenna encased my hand in hers and began tracing circles on the back of my hand.

It felt like it took forever for me to pull myself together. I was beyond embarrassed. I just didn’t have the energy to deal with it. I was exhausted. It was more than that, though. I was completely destroyed―both mentally and physically. I was drained.

“Why don’t you go climb into bed, Zoe? You need to get some rest,” Jenna offered in her motherly tone.

It frightened me slightly that she’d known exactly what I was thinking, but I was grateful for her compassion. “Sounds perfect,” I admitted as I pushed back the chair and carried my cup into the kitchen.

“Just leave it in the sink. I’ll take care of it in the morning,” Jenna offered. “Do you need anything?”

“Umm…just some water. I need to take a pain pill,” I admitted sheepishly. I didn’t want to be weak. If I had to be, I didn’t want anyone to know, there was just something about Jenna’s gentleness that made me believe she understood. Made me trust that she wouldn’t judge, no matter what.

“Here.” She handed me a bottle of water.

“Ta.”

I went to step around her and head to bed, but as I passed her she caught my wrist. Spinning back to face her, I recognised the heartbreak in her eyes. It was the same sadness I’d seen reflected in mine only minutes ago. Or was it hours? I wasn’t sure anymore. Everything seemed to just be blurring together into one gigantic nightmare. Without a word, Jenna slipped her arms around me and enfolded me in a warm motherly hug. It was the sort of hug that only a mother could give. It was firm and warm and made me feel loved. Protected. Special. Until that moment I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed them.

“Get some sleep. Everything will look better in the morning,” she whispered into my ear, before kissing my cheek softly and letting go.

Caught off guard, I trudged into the guest room, and with a heavy heart I slipped under the covers. After downing the medication, it didn’t take long before my thoughts became hazy and my eyelids heavy.

Hours later I woke when the bed beside me dipped under an unexpected weight. “You waking up, Pippi?” a deep timbre voice asked gently, pulling me from my dreams.

I didn’t have to open my eyes to know it was Spencer. I could smell his musky, masculine scent and feel the warmth radiating from him. “No,” I mumbled, my voice thick with sleep.

“So you’re not coming?”

“No,” I replied as I wiggled down further under the blankets but I was unable to hide the smile that had crept unexpectedly across my face.

“Okay then.”

I was shocked. I’d never known Spencer to give up so easily. The bed rose again as he stood up and I heard bustling about and I assumed he’d head back out the door. Now I was awake, reality came crashing back. I had to go home today. That meant dragging my weary, aching body from the warmth of the bed and getting my shit together. It was time I started thinking about driving home…something I was most definitely not looking forward to.

Stretching out, my aching body cracked and creaked and groaned as it protested my every movement. In a sadistic way it felt great at the same time. A blast of cool air on my back, however did not feel so good. As quickly as it had come it vanished, replaced by a warm body sliding in behind me.

“Spencer…” I warned.

“Shh, Pippi. Go back to sleep, it’s still early,” he whispered into my ear as his warm breath caressed my neck, leaving every tiny hair standing to attention.

I wanted to protest but the words stuck in my throat. When he wiggled an arm under my neck and pulled me in close against his body, the fight evaporated instantly. Instead I let my whole body relax and go limp as I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 24

SPENCER

“Spencer! Spencer! What are you doing?” a voice I knew but couldn’t place hissed at me.

Prying my eyes open, it took me a moment for all the puzzle pieces to fall together. The sun streaming through the window burned my retinas and I found myself blinking rapidly.

“Spencer!” the voice whispered again. Mum.

“It’s okay, Mum,” I assured her.

“No, it’s most definitely not. Come on. Get out of that bed. Don’t you dare wake her!”

I had no clue what was going on but Mum looked pissed. I’d seen that look enough times over the years to know when to fight and when to back off. Right now was definitely not the time to argue.

Slowly I untangled myself from Zoe and slipped from beneath the covers. Watching her, I prayed she didn’t wake. Thankfully, she just mumbled, rolled over, and continued snoring. I stood there longer than I should have, yet for some reason my feet were cemented to the floor. I stared at her with fascination as she grabbed the pillow that had been mine and wrapped herself around it, holding it close. Feeling like a creepy stalker, I forced myself to leave her be.

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, Mum handed me a mug filled with strong coffee and looked up at me with a scowl.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“Don’t
what
me, Spencer Robert.”

I knew I was in the shit. Deep shit. When the middle name was used as a weapon, you knew nothing good would follow.

“Look, Mum, I’m tired. I didn’t get much sleep, so why don’t you save us both some time and just tell me what I’ve done wrong now so I can apologise and we can get on with it.” I heard the words come out of my mouth but I didn’t recognise them. Usually I had more self-control than that, yet right now it seemed to have abandoned me.

“Don’t play with her, Spencer.” Mum’s face was set firmly and I didn’t remember the last time I’d seen her this way.

“Play with her?” I wasn’t sure what Mum was getting at and it was pissing me. One minute she was reminding me I was an adult and that I should act like it, then next she was treating me like a child. I couldn’t be both. Could I?

“Spencer…” Mum’s voice fell low and I knew she didn’t want Zoe to hear what was coming next. “You know I love Zoe, so this isn’t about her. Right now―right now that girl is severely messed up. After what she’s been through, that’s to be expected. Hell, it’s normal. You can’t make promises you aren’t going to follow through with. Don’t give her false hope.”

“What are you trying to say?” It came out a low, defensive growl.

“Why are you in bed with Zoe? Why cuddle up to her? Do you want her to get attached?”

The way Mum threw the questions at me caught me off guard and hit me square in the chest. I hadn’t given it any thought. I’d really thought that looking after her, being there for her, was what Zoe needed. Now Mum was telling me it wasn’t. Damn women were confusing.

“We’re just friends. Nothing to worry about,” I explained dismissively, but as soon as I’d said the words I knew that even I didn’t believe them.

“Don’t be dumb, Spencer!”

“Gee thanks, Mum. Anything else?”

I finished my coffee and rinsed the cup before dropping it into the dishwasher. I couldn’t look her in the eye right now. I was mad. I wasn’t entirely convinced that I was mad at Mum and not myself. I’d lain awake most of the night wondering how I was supposed to watch Zoe get in her car and drive away today. I knew she had to. Her life was back there, but it didn’t have to mean I wanted her to. And it definitely didn’t mean I had to like it.

“I don’t want to see you hurt, Spence…Zoe, she’s got a life out there. Yours is here. How can this ever be anything more?”

I gulped. Suddenly a lump the size of a golf ball formed in my throat and wouldn’t let me get the words out. Instead I stared blankly out the kitchen window, Mum’s question playing on repeat in my mind.

“You’ll be okay. So will Zoe. Just try not to hurt each other in the process,” Mum offered as she squeezed my shoulder tenderly. “I’m going to head into town and get some groceries. You all right to stay here until Zoe wakes up? I don’t want her to wake up alone in a strange house.”

There was the compassion I knew and loved. I nodded and turned my attention back to the garden beyond the window. I heard the click of the door, the footsteps on the veranda, and a car wheeze to life, and then the house was enveloped in silence. It was strange. This was the house I’d grown up in. The house that still had my height chart carved into the architraves in the pantry. The house where we’d buried treasure beneath the apple tree. Suddenly it felt so empty. So big. So lonely. Or maybe it was just me.

Grabbing a banana from the bowl, I took a bite and stepped out the front door, slumping into a wicker chair. With the morning sun warming my face, everything else just faded away. It was just me and my deep, heavy thoughts. I was so caught up in them I didn’t realise Zoe was awake until she slid down on my lap, her head coming to rest on my shoulder, my arms wrapping around her shoulders protectively.

“Morning.” I smiled as I sniffed her hair.

“Hi,” she offered. I could smell the mint on her breath and knew I was getting too close. Maybe Mum was right. Yet I couldn’t pull away. I wouldn’t. Not today, anyway.

For a long moment we just sat there and watched the world pass us by. Like silent observers we remained on the sidelines while the rest of the world went on. And I knew why. We were avoiding the inevitable. As soon as we rejoined the land of the living, Zoe would be heading home. I wasn’t ready for that. Not by a long shot.

Zoe had a different idea. Pulling away, she wobbled to her feet. “I should be getting out of here.”

There it was. The weight of a thousand bricks fell on my chest and knocked the wind out of me. “There’s no rush,” I spluttered.

“It’s a long drive. I need to head off soon.”

I looked at Zoe and recognised instantly the jumble of emotions she was facing. They were the same as my own. For her, heading home was the right thing to do. The sadness etched in her features left me with the distinct impression she didn’t want to.

“Yeah, okay. Come on. Let’s get you home then.”

It didn’t hit me what I’d said until Zoe and I were buckled into the front seat of my truck. Home. Was that my home or hers? Or was it supposed to be ours? “Shit!” I swore under my breath.

“What’s wrong?” As soon as she settled in her seat, Zoe kicked off her shoes and put her stripy sock covered feet on my dashboard. It was something uniquely Zoe. The memory of a million years ago flashed in my mind. She did exactly the same thing the day I’d got my licence.

“Ugh…nothing,” I dodged, shaking off the memory. I was ashamed I’d been caught acting like a complete woman. Men were not supposed to have thoughts and feelings. The problem was right now I had so many they were escaping without warning or invitation. If I wasn’t careful next thing you know I’d be crying and sobbing like a baby.

“Okay,” Zoe conceded, but one look at her I knew she didn’t believe me. Not for a second.

After a quiet drive I unlocked the door and let Zoe walk in ahead of me. I didn’t know if Kane was still asleep or if he’d already headed off. I didn’t particularly care as long as he stayed the fuck out of my way. Especially today. Today I had enough shit going on without dealing with him.

Zoe made a bee-line for my bedroom and my stomach clenched. I was embarrassed at the thoughts bouncing around my mind. I loved the idea of having that girl in my room. I just wished she was doing something else. With heavy steps I marched after her, feeling like someone being led to their execution.

Stepping through the door, I wasn’t shocked by what I saw, but what knocked me on my ass was how I felt about it. Zoe was scooping up dirty clothes and stuffing them into her bag. Huffing and puffing, she looked less than impressed about it. Grabbing a boot, she pushed it roughly, forcing into as small a ball as she could before cramming it into a side pocket.

I couldn’t stifle my chuckle. “Need a hand?” I offered, sauntering in arrogantly. I was walking as tall as I could. My jaw was set so stiffly it wouldn’t take long before it was aching under the tension. My posture was rigid. My chest puffed out. It was all a front. I was trying to convince her, or maybe I was trying to convince myself, I was okay with this.

“I’m fine,” Zoe scowled as she pushed past me towards the bathroom.

When she emerged moments later, her arms were filled with bottles and tubes. Tossing them on the bed, Zoe sighed heavily. “I swear I didn’t pack this much crap.”

“Well, it sure as shit isn’t mine.” I chuckled.

Zoe tossed a tube of something at me, hitting me squarely in the chest. “Pippi…” I warned as she flopped back on my bed holding her sore ribs as she started giggling.

The childish innocence highlighted in her eyes made me grin widely. Jumping on the bed beside her I grabbed her sock-covered foot and tickled her mercilessly. The laughter got louder and higher pitched. She was almost squealing as she wiggled about beneath me, while I held her foot in my tight grasp.

“Spencer…please…no…more,” she panted, trying to pull her foot away.

“Pippi―”

“Well, isn’t this cosy?” a deep voice resounded behind me.

A flash of last night’s events replayed before my eyes but I knew it wouldn’t end in a repeat performance. I wouldn’t allow it. “Kane―help…me…please…” Zoe pleaded, batting her lashes at him.

Between those wide, wanting eyes and those plump pouty lips, I knew Kane stood no chance. Resistance was futile. And if by some miracle he did, he was a stronger man than I.

“What do you need, Zoe?” Kane offered, stepping into the room.

“Kill your brother?”

After flashing me a conspiratory wink, Kane lunged, landing on the bed beside me with a thump, “With pleasure.” But he didn’t help Zoe. Instead he took my side. For the first time ever. Grabbing her other foot, Kane tickled her instep, earning him a string of curse words and a sharp kick in the chest.

“She’s a wild one!” He laughed as he tucked her knee under his arm.

“You have no idea!” I conceded.

“Bastards!” Zoe squawked and wiggled wildly.

I stole a glance at her and I don’t think I’d seen anything more beautiful. Without a trace of makeup, she was just Zoe. My Zoe. She was sweating with exertion, her cheeks rosy and her eyes dancing about, filled with life.

“I think she’s had enough.”

“Come on, Spence, remember this is Zoe. She’s a little vixen,” Kane pleaded.

“Yeah, I know, but her ribs must be screaming like a bitch right about now.”

“You’re no fun,” Kane pouted as he released her.

As I let go of her other leg, Zoe tucked them underneath her before wriggling to her knees, staring at me with a scowl. Taking a few breaths, she wiped her arm across her forehead. She was trying to be grumpy but she couldn’t hide the delight in her eyes.

“Right, you two,” Zoe lectured, her finger pointing back and forth between us. Kane, not intimidated in the slightest, reclined against the pile of pillows, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “Listen, and listen closely. We are no longer kids. We’re grown damn adults. Adults don’t tickle each other, and they don’t make fun of people―”

“But Zoe―”

“No, Kane. No ‘but Zoe.’ Things have changed. We’ve changed. For fuck’s sake, less than twelve hours ago you two were trying to beat the shit out of each other. Now you’re best friends again. We can’t play anymore. Not like this.”

“You’re no fun,” Kane pouted.

Zoe just smiled and batted her lashes before poking her tongue out. I couldn’t help but to roll my eyes at the whole situation.

“Seriously though,” Kane started. “I’m really sorry about last night, Zoe. The things I said…well, fuck; they were completely out of line. I shouldn’t have…”

I risked a glance at Zoe. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to see, but I’ll admit I was pleasantly surprised. She was smiling. A wide, dazzling smile that lit up her face and made her eyes sparkle. Everything felt great. Light. Easy. The way it should be.

“It’s okay, Kane. I forgive you…” Zoe shrugged.

“You don’t have to…I mean, I don’t deserve―”

“Kane, just shut it, say thank you, and accept it, okay? We’re good. Now get over here and give me a hug.”

Zoe stiffened in Kane’s arms. She may have asked for a cuddle but she didn’t look happy or comfortable in my brother’s arms. And being the jealous ass I was, I couldn’t help but feel relieved.

“Thank you, Zoe,” Kane whispered. I could see the embarrassment creep up his neck and consume him. The bright red humiliation covered his neck and face. With the back of my hand over my mouth, I stifled my amusement.

Kane unwrapped Zoe from his arms and scrambled from the bed. As he passed me, he clasped my shoulder and mumbled into my ear, “She’s a good girl, that one. Don’t you dare fucking hurt her.”