Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) (11 page)

“What’d I miss?” Zoe asked, searching our faces.

“Nothing,” I replied quickly.

I could tell she didn’t believe me. Her eyes darted from mine to Derek’s and back again, then with a reluctant shake of her head she let it go. At least for now.

Focusing my attention back on the game was harder than ever, but somehow I managed. We were playing badly. The only thing keeping us in touch was that their goal kicking was equally abysmal tonight. It was a shoot out, but neither team seem to be able to convert. When a melee broke out on centre wing, I wasn’t shocked to see Kane at the bottom of the pile and the one placed on report. He was hot headed and more than once I’d had to grab him by the scruff of the neck and tell him to pull his head out of his ass. Tonight I wasn’t out there to do it. Hopefully someone else would step up and do the honours.

“So Zoe, what do you think of our small town version?” Derek engaged.

“It’s different.”

“Different how?”

Shrugging, Zoe finished off her pie and licked her fingers. My stomach clenched. Forcing my gaze from her lips and back on the game, I watched her from the corner of my eye. “Well, I usually go to a couple of games through the season, but everything seems like it’s different. I mean, when I go to the games, I very rarely get hit with a football just sitting in the stands, and tonight I’ve almost been knocked out at least half a dozen times.”

I chuckled a deep belly laugh. She was right. Balls were being kicked by uncoordinated kids in every direction. Twice I’d deflected a wayward kick from smacking Zoe in the face.

“Yeah, I could see how that would be different.”

“Definitely. A little more dangerous too.” Zoe giggled and I’ll admit it was like music to my ears. “Don’t even get me started on the commentary.”

“Commentary?” I asked, completely unsure where she was headed.

“Yeah, from the bench. I mean, I’ve been to the MCG and I’ve never heard the coach yell to his players that he would have to drink his beer from his boot for missing a set shot directly in front.”

“You know what makes that even funnier? I’ll bet you twenty bucks, Zoe, that there’s an esky on the bench that isn’t filled with Gatorade and oranges.” Derek sniggered.

Zoe looked completely baffled. “Huh?”

“I’ll bet you it’s filled with beer…”

“No!” Zoe questioned, her face filled with disbelief. “Spencer?”

I couldn’t stop laughing. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. The look of complete shock was written all over her innocent face. “Sorry, Zoe. It’s probably not just beer. There’s probably a couple of rum cans in there too.”

“That’s terrible!” she admonished.

“That’s local athletes for you…”

“Athletes? You call those guys out there athletes?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, completely confused.

“The players who run out on the MCG have muscles and stamina and bloody nice looking bodies. These guys out there…” her voice trailed off as her eyes scoured the field. She was right. There were guys out there who, if they tried, would be puffed running from the centre bounce back to the goal square. Some of them would look more at home slumped at the bar than in short shorts on the field. Some, even I had to admit, shouldn’t know what shorts that short were.

“Okay, maybe you have a point,” I conceded with a wink. “Short shorts aren’t for everyone.”

“No, they most certainly are not,” Derek chimed in, slapping me enthusiastically on the back.

“Fuck you, Derek,” I coughed.

“Boys…” Zoe’s tone was light although it contained a warning I recognised instantly.

“Fine, Spencer. Not everyone should, but you can.” I caught the sly wink that Derek offered Zoe.

“Shut up, Derek, and just watch the damn game,” I growled, crushing my empty can and dropping it next to my boot before rewrapping Zoe in my arms. “He thinks he’s funny,” I whispered into her ear.

Zoe giggled quietly; I was the only one who heard it. I’d be lying if that didn’t make my heart soar. A private giggle, just for me. There was nothing more perfect. “It’s okay, Spence…I’m sure you look sexy as hell in your tiny shorts.” A blush burnt up her neck and turned her cheeks a deep, rosy red. She looked so fucking adorable. I couldn’t help myself. I kissed her quickly. What was even more startling was that she didn’t run away screaming.

It took God-like strength that I summoned from somewhere I didn’t even know existed to pull my attention from Zoe and refocus on the game. The team needed me to pay attention, but the warm woman in my arms was the worst type of distraction.

There was barely moments until the half-time siren when Luke, a young kid with a major chip on his shoulder, kicked a torpedo towards the top of the goal square where, for some unknown reason, Kane was standing. One on one. As the ball came towards Kane, I felt myself rise from my seat, willing him to take the mark. Kane wasn’t known for his marking ability…especially not his contested marking. Fuck knows why he was even in the forward half, when he usually played halfback, right now I didn’t care. I wanted him to catch that damn ball. Stealing a glance at the score board, I realised we were down by four points. If he could mark this, then go back and convert, we’d go in at half-time with a lead and hope for the second half.

My heart stopped as Kane’s feet left the ground. Using the other guy’s back as a springboard, Kane reached his arms high above his head and grabbed at the ball. It bounced out of his fingertips. His second grab was just as clumsy, with the ball bouncing from his grasp again. As he started his descent towards the ground, he made a third attempt to get his hands around the leather ball. This time it stuck. But his knee didn’t.

Chapter 21

ZOE

Shit, that looked bad. I didn’t need to play football to know landing like that had to hurt like a bitch. The crowd was silenced. A moment ago they were going nuts, willing Kane to catch the ball like his life depended on it. Now, as he lay on the cold, wet ground, not moving, they were rendered speechless.

I felt Spencer move before I heard him.

Quickly he slipped out from behind me, “You okay here for a minute?” he rushed as he stepped onto the bench beside me.

Everything was happening so quickly. I could see the torment and conflict written on Spencer’s face. I nodded obligingly. I didn’t want to be responsible for holding him back. He didn’t need to watch over me, even though he thought he did. I was a big girl. I’d be fine. Well, at least I’d pretend to be.

“I’ll be back,” he promised as he jumped from the stands and dashed across the field in long strides, barely breaking stride as he jumped the fence on the way to his fallen brother.

And then I was cold. Not cold from the breeze that ruffled my hair, it was a cold that came from within, chilling me to the bone. An intense freeze that I didn’t want to admit. Wrapping my arms around my chest tightly, I winced as my ribs protested but I didn’t loosen my grip.

“Zoe, I’m right here. Just breathe,” a deep voice reminded me in my ear.

I jumped with fright. My boots slipped on the damp metal and before I knew what was happening, I was falling backwards. An uncoordinated tangle of limbs flailing everywhere. I waited for the pain as I hit the seats yet it never came. Instead warm arms ended up beneath my arms, holding me until my feet steadied beneath me. When I managed to look up I found sympathetic brown eyes gazing down on me. Eyes filled with pain and concern.

“You got it now?”

“Yep. Thanks, Derek.”

Of course he was there. I shouldn’t have thought for a minute that Spencer would have left me unguarded. If he couldn’t do it himself, and Kane was unavailable, then there was only one other person in this world he’d trust. Derek. Not only was he the town cop, sworn to protect and serve, but Spencer had known him since they were in nappies.

Drawing my attention back to the field, I watched as Spencer and another guy half-carried half-dragged Kane from the field. His face was filled with pain and I knew it wasn’t good. “I’m just going to―”

“Yeah. Let’s,” Derek agreed, not even waiting for me to finish. It was like he knew me as well as Spencer did. A feeling that caught me a little off guard.

As carefully as possible, I padded down from the grandstand, ignoring the curious looks before stepping onto the grass and waiting for Derek to join me. As soon as he did, he wrapped my hand in his and led me towards the edge of the field where Kane lay.

As we approached, I could hear the colourful language spilling from Kane’s mouth in a non-stop waterfall of profanity. Spencer’s deep chuckle accompanied Kane’s whinging. Obviously it wasn’t a life threatening injury if they were carrying on about it like this, and immediately I felt relieved. I couldn’t bear to see any more pain at this point.

“What’s so funny?” I asked as I stepped up behind them, resting my hands on Spencer’s wide, sturdy shoulders.

I didn’t realise what I’d done until I saw the way Kane looked at me. It had just felt so natural to step to Spencer’s side and reach for him. Without a word, I’d gone straight for him and he hadn’t stopped me. He hadn’t flinched. Not once. The look in Kane’s eyes, even through the pain…I realised that maybe I’d done something wrong. The moment I went to pull my hands away, Spencer stopped me, grabbing my hands with his own and wrapping them around his neck.

“My poor, baby brother here hurt his little knee,” Spencer taunted, watching as fury settled over Kane’s face.

“At least I played―” Kane threw back without missing a beat.

“I had better things to do.” Spencer winked at me before kissing my frozen fingertips lightly.

“I’d say.”

I was not liking being the subject of their sexually-filled innuendoes. The way Kane looked at me was making my skin crawl. If Spencer hadn’t been holding me in place, I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t have been running screaming for the car. There was something more sinister behind Kane’s words. Something I didn’t understand. Something I couldn’t place.

“So, what’s the verdict?” I asked, pointing at his knee, desperate to redirect the conversation to safer topics.

“Nothing dramatic.” Kane shrugged nonchalantly.

“You sure?”

“Yeah. Just twisted it when I landed. Nothing a good rub down won’t fix.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“You volunteering?” Kane winked, his gaze burning my skin.

I felt sick. I wanted to throw up. I tried to pull away from Spencer, but he held tight. My skin was covered in goose bumps. I tried pulling again and this time Spencer loosened his grip and I was freed. Stepping back, I almost tripped over my own feet, somehow though I managed to stay upright, although I’m not sure how. Without another word, or really knowing what I was doing I started walking as fast as my legs could carry me.

“Zoe? Zoe?” I heard Spencer calling to me but I couldn’t stop. My legs were on auto pilot. Deep down I knew I was acting childish, running away. I just couldn’t slow down.

When I broke into a jog my whole body protested loudly, but I didn’t care. Instead I pushed harder. Breathing in the frigid air was a killer. My lungs screamed in agony and as the doctor’s words floated back through my head, I knew there was a chance I’d see Nurse Foreman. Soon. She’d told me to rest. Take it easy. Preferably bed rest. Here I was after a night of binge drinking followed by a morning of praying to the porcelain gods…now I was attempting to run cross country.

I didn’t know where I was headed until I got there. With tears almost blinding me, it was a miracle I’d even managed to find Spencer’s truck in the sea of clones. They all looked the same. Huge. Dark. Dirty. Intimidating. The moment I leaned against the door of Spencer’s truck I felt safe. I knew it was stupid, but I couldn’t explain it. If anything I was in more danger in a dark, deserted parking lot than I had been standing on the edge of the football field with kids running around.

Wiping at my tears, I felt small. And sad. And beaten. I hated myself. How could everything have got so messed up? Two days ago, I’d left my apartment in Melbourne ready to spend a weekend with friends. Friends I’d known most of my life. And now look at me. I didn’t even want to talk to anyone, let alone let them see me. I was a disaster. When I caught a glimpse of the person staring back at me from the side mirror, the tears came harder. With my caked on makeup smudged and wiped completely off in some places, the bruises and evidence was so clear. It was a wonder Spencer could even look at me, let alone touch me.

When a beep broke the quiet and a flash of bright yellow lights lit up the car park, it scared the life out of me. It took a moment to realise what was going on, but when I tugged on the door handle it gave way easily. Spencer had figured me out. I shouldn’t have been surprised. He’d unlocked the car, allowing me to scramble into the passenger seat and slam the door shut behind me. With another beep I was locked in. Even from a distance he was trying to keep me safe.

It took more than ten minutes for me to get myself together again enough to sit up. Glancing in the mirror on the back of the visor, I saw a stranger. I barely recognised the shell of a woman staring back at me. Her eyes were lifeless and haunted. Running my finger through my hair and wiping my face, when I eventually managed to look away, my eyes locked with his. The boy who was always there for me. Every time I needed him, without question, Spencer was there. I loved him for it.

He cocked his head to the side in a silent question and I found myself answering with a soft nod. I watched as he rose slowly from the log he’d been sitting on and walked towards the car slowly. Even though I felt like shit for making him feel so uncomfortable, I appreciated his thoughtfulness. Every move he made was deliberate. Calculated. Measured. It was like he was gauging my reaction before making his next move. Patiently making sure I was onboard with anything before he proceeded.

Sliding into the driver’s seat, he stuck the key in the ignition before he turned to me. “Ready to head home?”

My mouth fell open. Out of all of the things he could have asked me, that was not what I was expecting. I was expecting curious questioning and soft interrogation. Spencer offered neither. Just polite manners.

“More than you know,” I admitted as I pulled on my seat belt.

Without another word, Spencer slipped the truck in gear and drove us through the deserted streets. By the time he parked in the driveway I was desperate to talk. To apologise. To explain. Once again, Spencer didn’t give me a chance. Instead he jumped from the car, darted around to my side, and opened my door before offering me a hand down. I didn’t need it, but I took it anyway. The warmth from his fingers gave me more comfort than they should. Without dropping my hand he led me up the path and through the front door.

“Coffee?” he called out as he moved straight into the kitchen.

“Thanks,” I answered automatically.

Kicking off my boots, I followed the sound of crinkling packets and running water to the kitchen and sat on a stool at the bench. The silence was stifling. “Spencer, I need to explain…” I began, my voice pathetic and shaky.

“Zoe, you never have to explain. Not to me,” he responded as he turned to face me, but he didn’t approach. That wasn’t lost on me. Instead, he leaned back against the sink and folded his long arms across his chest. At the sight of his arms my heart squeezed. I wanted to be wrapped up in them. I hoped one day, I’d find a way back, I just didn’t know how.

“Spencer, please,” I begged, pushing on. Even if he didn’t need to hear it, I needed to get it out. “I know I made an idiot out of myself tonight running away. It’s just…it all just got too much. And Kane―I know he’s your brother and I know he probably didn’t mean anything by it, but the things he said―the things he was suggesting―”

“Zoe,” Spencer’s voice was like whiskey. Lifting my head, my eyes met his and my heart broke. It was more than just a break. It shattered. Into a million tiny shards and I wasn’t sure if it would ever be able to be put back together. “Firstly, you didn’t make an idiot out of yourself. Sure, tonight people saw you run to the car and they saw me chase you, but people in this town have known me a long time. You mightn’t spend much time around here these days but I can pretty much guarantee all they are thinking is that I said or did something stupid to make you run.”

“I’m sorry. I never―”

“Forget it. Tomorrow they won’t even remember it.” He dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “And secondly, yes―you’re right. Kane is my brother. My twin brother. He’s an ass. If he hadn’t been whimpering and bitching in pain, I would have knocked him into next week for the things he said, Zoe. It wasn’t you. It was Kane. Trying to show off and be a big man. More than that, that was Kane just trying to piss me off.”

I couldn’t help but smile weakly, “Well, judging by that look on your face, I’d say it worked.”

My sarcastic comment had the desired effect. I watched as the anger and the resentment and the frustration faded from his body. When his shoulders drooped I knew I hadn’t destroyed him with my own bullshit. Now I just had to remember to keep my problems to myself. Spencer didn’t need to beat himself up about this. Not now. Not ever.

“Yeah, I guess it did. Seriously though, I know I keep asking and I know you’re sick of hearing it, but I have to…are you all right? Really? And remember, it’s just me. No need to pretend. Are you really okay?”

I didn’t want to answer him. I couldn’t lie to Spencer and I didn’t want to, but looking in his eyes I could see the concern there. It was my pain and I didn’t want to make it worse for him. “Honestly?”

“Always.”

“No, Spence. I’m a fucking mess.”

I thought that as soon as I admitted it out loud I’d feel worse, but I didn’t. It felt good. Everything felt lighter. Like carrying the lies and trying to be something I’m not, trying to put on a brave face was exhausting beyond belief.

“Thank fuck for that.” He laughed gruffly as he filled the coffee cups and shuffled around before collapsing heavily into the seat beside me.

“Huh?”

“At least now you’re telling the truth and we can stop pussy footing around and just be us again.” He sighed as he took a sip of his coffee.

I felt like shit. I hadn’t realised how big of a toll my crap had been taking on him. How much me being in his life was draining him. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t! Don’t you dare apologise, Zoe. I’m only going to say this once, so listen up. What happened to you was not your fault. The bastard responsible, the one who should be sorry is the weak prick who did this to you. You didn’t ask for any of this. Just like I didn’t ask to be the one to find you. Don’t for one minute think that I’m not glad I did, Pippi. This is not your fault. I don’t want to hear you blaming yourself for it. Never again.”