Coming Home (Homeward Bound Series Book 1) (2 page)

Chapter 3

ZOE

The pain was everywhere. All at once. My whole body felt like it was being pulled in a hundred different directions all at the same time. I wanted to scream but my voice wasn’t working. My eyes were still too heavy to pry open. My arms and legs felt the worst. One arm felt like it was on fire. It was burning and stinging and aching all in the same moment. That dull, painful throbbing that gets into your bones and no matter what you do, it just won’t leave.

And my toes. Fuck, they were cold. A hundred million pins and needles felt like they were poking into every inch of my frozen feet. But they moved. I felt them move. As heavy as my legs felt, they weren’t being suffocated by anything. I wasn’t restrained, but the chill went higher. As if someone was revealing me. Millimetre by millimetre, someone was revealing all of me.

Then I couldn’t restrain myself. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t hold back.

I screamed.

I howled.

I roared.

And I know I should have been embarrassed screeching like a banshee, but I wasn’t.

“It’s okay, Zoe. You’re safe,” someone told me, they sounded like they were a million miles away. More than that, how could I believe them? How the hell was I supposed to blindly believe that I was safe?

My eyes shot open. It hurt like a bitch. The damn lights were so bright that any vision I had was now impaired by black spots that danced in my vision, I didn’t care. Dragging my legs up as far as I could, I tried to make myself small. A ball. Tiny. Inconsequential. Invisible.

“Zoe,” the voice came again. I felt something soft drop on me and it took a moment for me to realise it was a cotton blanket. It was soft, but not very warm. “Zoe,” he tried again to get my attention.

Everything was taking longer than it should. I was reacting slowly. Too slowly. My thoughts were scrambled. It was like I was operating in slow motion. Gulping in lungful’s of air, trying to regain control of my scattered senses, I howled again. It hurt. Worse than everything else, it was excruciating.

“Fuck!” I cried out to no one in particular.

“Zoe! Zoe, I need you to focus, okay? I know it’s hard, and I know it hurts, but I need you to try,” a deep, comforting voice asked calmly. “I’m Dr. Davies. You’re in the hospital. You’ve had an accident. I need you to calm down and let me look at you.”

For a moment I was silent. I didn’t know what to make of what he was saying. I didn’t remember any accident. I knew something had happened, I just had no idea what. I was in too much agony for everything to be normal. The pain, the bright lights, his compassion, and attentiveness. I had no idea how I’d gotten here…or even where here was.

Slowly I forced my eyes open again and managed to lock my gaze with his. It was that easy. I believed him. Rightly or wrongly, there was something about him that made me feel safe. Made me believe.

“What…what happened?” I asked. Each word caught in my dry throat. It felt like sandpaper. Coughing wildly, I willed saliva to my mouth.

Silently, he moved around the bed, pressed a red button before handing me a plastic cup of water with a straw.

“Small sips,” he instructed, but I was too greedy. Sucking it in as quickly as I could, instantly I felt better. When the cup ran out I was visibly disappointed. Handing the empty cup back, I noticed the bandages around my wrist.

“Please?” I spluttered, holding up my wrist and waving it in front of him.

There was an unmistakable sadness in his eyes. It was like he had something he wanted to say, something he knew would hurt me, but there was hesitation there. It was almost as if he avoided the conversation, then it would go away. He wasn’t ready, at least not yet. Maybe that’s what his silence was. Nothing more than a delaying technique.

“Let’s get you checked over and then we can talk. Sound fair?” He sounded like my father, right now I didn’t want him to be. Right now I needed him to be my doctor and tell me the truth. No sugar coating, no cotton wool. Just tell me. Like ripping off a bandaid. Fast. Furious. Effective.

I had no choice. “Okay,” I relented.

“Can you stretch your legs out for me, Zoe?” he asked gently.

Silently, I complied. As he started folding back the blanket, I let go. It was like my mind cut me off from feeling anything. I couldn’t hear. The bright lights faded as my tired eyes closed. Within seconds I was back, floating in my safe place. Untouchable.

Chapter 4

SPENCER

I thought I heard screaming. I was in the hallway when it started and it was the most horrific, gut-wrenching, soul-destroying wail I’d ever heard. One I hoped I’d never hear as long as I lived. I paused, but it ended as quickly as it began. It couldn’t be Zoe. She was still completely out of it―and for that I was grateful.

“Shit!” I muttered to myself as realisation sunk in. I wanted Zoe to still be unconscious. What sort of sick bastard wanted someone to stay knocked out? Oh, that’s right―me. I’m the asshole who wanted her not to know, because the moment she was back, everything would become real. Too real.

As I walked down the corridor, the scent of bleach permeated my every pore. I hated hospitals. Always had. Being a guy, I’d wasted enough hours of my life waiting in emergency for stitches or staples or bones to be reset. Being a boy meant childhood was rough. Having a twin brother, someone who was always around to make sure mischief was had by all, pretty much guaranteed cuts and bruises.

Pushing aside the depressing thoughts, I stepped into the cafeteria. No wonder people in hospital wanted to get out so quickly. The food was shit. Although it was only mid-morning, the sandwiches in the display looked like they’d been there for a week or more. The lettuce on the BLT had drooped and was now more translucent than actually green. I wasn’t going to risk it. The last thing Zoe needed right now was me being struck down with food poisoning and having to look after me. That wasn’t an option.

A matronly old woman wearing a floral apron and glasses so thick it was impressive that she could still see through them stepped up to the counter. “Hi there, deary. What can I get you?”

I felt bad. Someone this old shouldn’t be serving someone like me. Her fingers were knotted and gnarled from age and her skin sagged everywhere. My mother had raised me better than this. I hated the idea that I was young and fit―okay, well, not exactly fit. I mean I wasn’t about to run a marathon, but I could take care of myself. The lady standing before me―well, she should have her feet up knitting, not waiting on me.

Pushing aside my dark thoughts, I ordered quickly. “I’ll just take a bucket of chips and a bottle of Coke, please.”

“Of course.” She smiled sweetly as she tottered off.

She even smelt old…that heavy baby powder smell. I smiled inwardly at the odd thought. Over the scent of the disinfectant and grease I could still smell her. It reminded me of my own grandmother.

Moments later she had my meal on a plastic blue tray and pushed it towards me. After stuffing some money in her hand, I found a spare table and collapsed into the seat. Fuck, it had been a long day already―and it wasn’t even almost over.

Pulling my phone from my pocket, I noticed the backlog of missed messages―most from my brother, Kane.

Kane: Where are you?

Kane: Sleep in princess???

Kane: Seriously?

Kane: What the fuck?

I could tell he was pissed. He had every right to be. I hadn’t shown up for work and hadn’t even bothered to let him know why. I’d kill him if he tried to pull that shit with me. The truth was I’d been up on time, showered, shaved, and scarfed down a quick breakfast. I was on my way to work earlier than normal, yet the moment I’d seen her, all thoughts of work were instantly forgotten. They didn’t matter. Nothing did. Honestly, I hadn’t even given Kane two seconds’ thought.

Quickly I found his number and called. It didn’t take long to connect.

“What the fuck!” he boomed down the phone.

I couldn’t help it…I laughed. He was so pissed and worked up. He was worse than a woman with PMS who’d just been told of a world chocolate shortage.

“Morning, baby brother.” I chuckled. He might be shitty now but as soon as he knew where I was I knew his anger would evaporate immediately.

“Fuck off!” he swore. “Where the hell are you, anyway? You should have been here hours ago.”

“Calm your farm. I’m at the hospital,” I admitted. There was no point lying…and it was Kane. I’d trust him with my life. And I had. Too many times to count.

“What? You okay?” His rage was gone, replaced by concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Well, what the fuck you doing at the hospital?” he asked, baffled.

“Zoe.”

“Zoe?”

“Yeah, Zoe.”

“She’s in town?” he asked, confused.

Kane never quite understood the whole Zoe and Spencer relationship dynamic. The simple truth was, most of the time neither did I. Through the years we’d been so many things to each other, sometimes it was hard to figure out where that put us on any given day. One thing I was one hundred and ten percent sure of, in my eyes at least―Zoe would always stand on a pedestal.

“Yeah, seems so,” I admitted.

I hated the idea that I hadn’t known she was even coming. I don’t even remember the last time she’d stepped foot in this damn town. She’d escaped as soon as she’d finished high school and never looked back. Well, that wasn’t quite true. Obviously she’d looked back. She was here now.

“So what’s she doing in the hospital?” Kane asked, still struggling to understand.

“I found her this morning. Not sure what’s happening yet. I’m staying with her until I know what’s what,” I explained, leaving no room for arguments.

I knew Kane as well as I knew myself. He might not understand the Zoe and Spencer relationship, but he would never stand between it.

“Okay.”

“Everything okay on site?” I asked, redirecting the conversation.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Let’s face it, you don’t do much when you’re here anyway,” Kane teased. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to make me smile. Lighten the mood. Steal my attention for a moment from the woman lying two floors above me in an ugly white hospital gown.

“Thanks,” I added and I meant it.

“Let me know what’s happening. And tell Zoe I said she owes me.”

“Owes you?”

“Yep.”

“What the fuck for?” I snapped harsher than I’d intended. I didn’t like the idea that Zoe and Kane might have a relationship I didn’t know about. Zoe was mine…and I didn’t share.

“Relax, big brother. Zoe owes me for letting her have you for the day instead of making you get your lazy ass to work.” He chuckled.

Shit head.

“But seriously, Spence, let me know what’s going on. If you need anything…”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence. I already knew. If there was anything I ever needed, Kane would be there. He was my brother…and my best friend. Right now, I didn’t need anything. Nope, there was nothing Kane could give me that I wanted. The bouncy brunette upstairs, however…well, she damn well could. She could open her stubborn eyes and tell me I looked like shit.

Quickly I hung up the phone before stuffing the last handful of my cold chips in my mouth and heading out. I wanted to be there when she woke up. I needed to be there. Ignoring the lift, I climbed the stairs, taking two at a time until I was standing back in the doorway looking down on my sleeping angel. Even broken and bruised she was beautiful.

Chapter 5

ZOE

Something changed. Something around me. Suddenly the air was warmer and charged with electricity. I had no idea what was going on, but the crackle of energy pulled me from the depths of my slumber to hovering on the edge of wide awake. All I had to do was open my eyes and it would all be real again.

Slowly but surely the pain came back. My whole body protested as I wiggled and stretched out, taking up the length of the bed. Forcing my eyes open as much as I could, I felt lopsided. Like one eye was still shut. With trembling fingers I reached up and touched my own face.

“Careful,” a smooth, velvety voice cautioned me.

It was a voice I’d recognise anywhere. Summoning everything I had, I forced open my eyes and felt my breath catch as my eyes settled on the man leaning against the door frame.

“Hi,” I breathed barely audibly.

“Hey yourself.” He smiled, it wasn’t real. It didn’t reach his slate grey eyes. Right now I was so glad to see him that I didn’t care.

Relief flooded me. Spencer was here. I shouldn’t have even considered that he wouldn’t be. He’d probably kick my ass if he knew I’d doubted him. The bigger question was, why was I here? Why was I lying in a hospital bed freezing my tits off? What the hell happened?

Slowly and deliberately I squirmed, trying to sit up. But the more I moved, the more it hurt―and fuck did it.

“Let me help?” Spencer offered, moving towards me like I was a frightened, skittish animal. Every movement seemed deliberate, calculated. This wasn’t the Spencer I knew. Something more was going on with him. For right now, I’d let him be, but you can bet your ass I’d call him on it sooner rather than later.

“Thanks,” I accepted gratefully.

Stepping beside me, he wrapped his long, muscular arm around my back and in one swift movement, shifted me up the bed. I winced in pain. I wanted to cry, it hurt so much, but I didn’t want Spencer to regret helping. The warmth from his body was infiltrating my cold and weary bones, and the temptation to ask him to wrap his arms around me and hold me was almost too strong to resist.

After fluffing pillows and fussing about, Spencer stepped back and looked me squarely in the eye. “You okay?” his voice faltered.

“Yep,” I lied as well as I could, I knew Spencer didn’t buy it. I could see the disbelief in his eyes, but he somehow managed to bite tongue.

“Let me call a nurse.”

“No!” I barked more harshly than I’d intended.

Spencer’s neck snapped back and his jaw clenched. I watched as his fists balled at his sides. I could see the words bubbling in his brain, but thankfully none of them came out. The truth was I was more terrified than worried about the pain. The drugs they had me doped up on were keeping me pretty numb. I had no idea whether they were strong enough to kill the pain when he asked the questions I knew he was dying to. Thankfully, somehow he managed to show super human restraint.

“No probs,” he said through gritted teeth. “Want me to call Katie?”

“Shit, I completely forgot about the party!”

“I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“Yeah, but…” I trailed away.

“Don’t stress, I’ll let her know.” There was a confidence in his voice that reassured me.

For the first time I took in the man standing before me. It frustrated me that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen him. Right now he stole my breath. His jeans were tight in all the right places, sending my pulse soaring. The stubble on his jaw made my fingers itch. As soon as the thoughts crossed my mind, I felt my whole body freeze. Spencer had always been in my life, always there for the big moments…but for the first time I’d let myself imagine a future with him. A future that cast him in a starring role―and not simply the best friend role, either.

“It has to be the pain killers,” I mumbled, dismissing the confusing emotions.

“Sorry?”

“Nothing,” I explained, waving my hand away.

“Okay,” he conceded quickly. “You look like you’re in pain. Let me get someone.”

I didn’t want him to move. I needed him there with me. Somehow just having him in the room made everything better. I didn’t want to have to face this alone…at least not right now. I could read the apprehension in his eyes. I allowed myself to nod meekly. I couldn’t watch him suffer. That would hurt more than any physical pain ever could.

“I’ll be back,” he added gruffly as he shuffled out the door with his hands buried in his pockets.

I watched him go and couldn’t help that my eyes were drawn to his tight butt. Dark denim stretched tight across his spectacular arse. My heart raced and the beeping on the machine increased and went haywire.

For a couple of minutes I was alone with my scattered thoughts and I was thankful for that. I hadn’t realised how much I just needed a moment to catch my breath. A moment to take stock. I’d come home to the only home I’d ever known. To the place which, for so long had been my safe haven, as soon as I had the thought goose pimples covered my body. All that had been taken away from me.

A faint knock on the door shook me from my dark thoughts. “Excuse me.”

I raised my head and my eyes locked with a small grey-haired nurse. She had calm, caring, and compassion etched into every wrinkle. She had dazzling green eyes that sparkled with years of wisdom. There was something more there. Something I didn’t understand. Something I couldn’t place. But I wasn’t scared.

“Hi,” I growled. I hadn’t realised how dry my throat was until that moment when I went to speak and it barely came out audible.

“You gave us all quite a scare, Zoe,” she scolded half-heartedly.

“More than just a bloody scare, I’d say,” Spencer growled, stepping back into view. He lent on the door frame, his muscular forearms folded across his wide chest casually.

“Spencer!” she chastised.

I couldn’t hold back the smile. It pulled on my cheek. Bloody hell, it hurt like a bitch.

“I didn’t realise how much seeing you smile would make my day,” Spencer replied, his eyes never wavering from mine.

“Spencer McLaren, get your butt out of this room before I give you a hiding!” the nurse admonished.

With a dramatic sigh and over exaggerated huff, Spencer pulled himself upright and dug his hands back in his pockets. “I’ll be just outside if you need me.” He sounded so strong. There was no room for argument or debate. I thought he was going to spin on his heel and do as he was told, but if he did that…well then, he wouldn’t be Spencer. My Spencer. So instead, he strode across the room pointedly, dropped a light kiss on my forehead, winked at me, and then marched from the room.

“Just call me if you need me!” he tossed over his shoulder.

“Out!”

For a couple of minutes I watched as the green-eyed nurse checked monitors, my IV lines, and changed the hanging bags of medication. Then she turned on me and I can’t explain the sheer terror that flooded my body. I knew, deep down, that she wouldn’t hurt me. It didn’t make it any easier to swallow. I was paralysed with fear that she was going to ask how. Ask why. Ask what. Those were questions I didn’t have the answers to.

I didn’t realise I was shaking until she called me on it. When a frigid hand landed lightly on my wrist, I jumped, sending scorching pain through my body. “Breathe, Zoe. It’s okay. You’re going to be fine.”

“Okay,” I heard the word tumble from my lips and tried to force myself to believe it.

“Zoe! Zoe, look at me. I need you to look at me.” Her voice was so soft, it was like a thick, warm blanket wrapped around me. I felt my shoulders sag with relief. “You are safe. You are loved. And you are going to be all right. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. Neither is that boy just outside the door. Right now…right now I need you to let me take a look at you.”

I didn’t mean to, but I felt myself cringe.

Twenty minutes later I had tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t say a word. I’d been poked and prodded and bathed in ointment. Not a word had been spoken. It was torture, pure and simple.

“Zoe, sweetheart, you will be okay. I promise.” I don’t know if it was the sincerity in her words or her motherly tone that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I couldn’t hold on. Not a moment longer. The tears cascaded from my eyes and over my cheeks and I couldn’t stem the flow. Even if I’d wanted to, I couldn’t. My chest ached. The harder I sobbed, the more if hurt. Broken ribs really were a bitch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she offered kindly.

“No,” I sobbed pathetically, wiping my dripping nose on my arm. I know it was disgusting and unladylike, but right now it was the least of my problems.

“Sweetheart, you need calm down. It’s okay. You’re okay. Just let it out. I know that’s not your style, to just let yourself be vulnerable. I’ve known you since you were just a little girl, getting into mischief skinning your knees and dislocating your elbow. As long as I’ve known you, Zoe Sinclair, you’ve never let yourself just be. Right now you need to. Let it out, darling girl. It’s too much for you to hold in. It’s too much for anyone to hold in.”

Her words filtered through and I found myself crying harder and harder. The moment I looked up into those warm, welcoming, sympathetic eyes, my heart broke. Perhaps the only part of me that wasn’t yet broken, cracked wide open.