Complete Works of Wilkie Collins (2072 page)

Betteredge.
Varnished by Mr. Franklin Blake no later than yesterday evening.

Cuff
(
still examining the cabinet
). Where is Mr. Blake?

Betteredge.
He heard you had come, Sergeant, and like the rest of us, he didn’t know where to find you. When last I saw him he was off to the stables to question the man who drove you.

Cuff
(
pointing to a place at the lower part of the cabinet
). Hullo! here’s a smear on the varnish!

Betteredge.
Lord bless us, so there is! I saw no smear there when I locked up the house close on twelve o’clock last night.

Cuff
(
looking at the smear through a magnifying glass
). Was the varnish dry then?

Betteredge.
No, sir. Mr. Franklin told me it would not be dry before two in the morning.

Cuff
(
to himself
). Aha! (
He looks again through the magnifying glass, and, while he looks, whistles the first notes of his favourite air.
)

Betteredge
(
to himself
).What’s he whistling for?

Cuff
(
hearing him
). Do you never whistle yourself, Mr. Betteredge?

Betteredge.
I have done such a thing, sir, when I had reason to feel particularly well pleased with myself.

Cuff.
My case exactly! I whistle when I think I’ve got the clue in my hand. I think I’ve got it now.

Betteredge
(
eagerly
).Where?

Cuff
(
pointing
). Here! The clue to the missing diamond begins at this smear on the varnish.

Betteredge
(
To
RACHEL). Do you hear that, Miss Rachel?

Rachel
(
coldly
). No. I am reading the newspaper.

Cuff
(
continuing
). To the best of my judgment, the smear has been made by a loose article of dress that has swept over the wet varnish.

Betteredge.
Do you mean a woman’s petticoat, sergeant?

Cuff.
Yes. Or, may be, the tail of a man’s dressing-gown. (RACHEL
starts. The newspaper drops from her hand,
CUFF
observes her.
) Anything wrong, miss?

Rachel
(
coldly
). I don’t understand you.

Cuff
(
aside
). She knows something about it! (
to
RACHEL.) Sorry to trouble you, miss. After what I have discovered on this cabinet, I must examine the things for the wash.

Betteredge
(
admiring
CUFF). Wonderful man! He’s going to find the thief in the dirty-linen bag.

Cuff
(
to
RACHEL,
continuing
). You see, miss, the reason’s plain enough. If it’s a petticoat that has made the smear, the woman that petticoat belongs to must be able to tell me what she was doing here between midnight and two in the morning. If it’s a dressing-gown —

Rachel
(
impatiently
).What do you want?

Cuff.
Your authority, miss, to give my orders to the laundry-maid.

Rachel
(
as before
). Give your orders.

Cuff.
Now, Mr. Betteredge. Introduce me to the laundry-maid.

Betteredge.
With pleasure, Mr. Sergeant. (
He whispers in
CUFF’S
ear.
) She’s a nice plump young girl — you couldn’t begin with a better one. (
They go out at the hall door.
)

Rachel
(
springing to her feet
). He wore his dressing-gown last night! His room will be searched — the stain will be discovered — he will be exposed as a thief before every creature in the house! (
She walks distractedly to and fro.
) After all I have suffered, to see him publicly disgraced — ruined, ruined for life! It’s maddening to think of it! (
She pauses, reflecting.
) The dressing-gown may be in his room at this moment; the one chance of saving him is to destroy it before the search begins! (
She looks round her.
) Franklin is at the stables — I heard Betteredge say so. Miss Clack has not returned yet. There is nobody to see me. Can I — dare I — risk it? Oh, Franklin! Franklin! (
She rushes up the stairs. As she enters
FRANKLIN’S
room,
MISS CLACK
appears below at the hall door, with her bag on her arm, returning from the town.
)

Miss Clack.
In all my experience, I have never met with anything so disheartening to an earnest worker as the worldly tone of mind which pervades this household. Nobody is interested in the progress of the Branch-Mothers’-Small-Clothes-Conversion-Society. They are all absorbed in vain regret for the loss of the diamond. Ah! If we
are
to mourn, let it be over our obdurate fellow-creatures — our lost human diamonds by the wayside! (
She places her bag of tracts on a chair.
) How I miss dear Mr. Godfrey’s ready sympathy! I fancy his manner has been more than usually affectionate towards me of late. I wonder where he is? (
She calls off at the hall door.
) Penelope! (PENELOPE
enters sulkily.
) Has Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite gone out?

Penelope.
Yes, miss.

Miss Clack.
You don’t know when he will return?

Penelope.
No, miss. (
Aside.
) I believe she’s sweet on Mr. Godfrey — at her time of life!

Miss Clack.
Is Miss Rachel in her room?

Penelope.
I suppose so. (
Aside.
) How many more questions, I wonder!

Miss Clack
(
eyeing
PENELOPE’S
cap ribbons
). Have you read your tract, Penelope? Are you aware of the enormity of your cap ribbons?

Penelope.
No, miss. (
She produces the tract.
) If this “Word with Me on my Cap Ribbons” is written by a man, he is an impudent fellow, and he knows nothing about it! If it’s written by a woman, I know what is going on in
her
mind — she would be only too glad to wear the ribbons herself! (
She offers the tract back.
) Please to take it back, miss.

Miss Clack
(
receiving the tract in her sweetest manner
).You will ask me for it again before I have done with you.

Penelope.
I shan’t!

Miss Clack.
Oh, yes, you will. It’s no use being impudent to
me.
The more impudent you are, my poor girl, the more interested I feel in you. (PENELOPE
attempts to speak.
) No, you young castaway, you don’t offend me! You present plenty of obstructive material to work upon.

Penelope.
I won’t be called names! I’m not an Obstructive Material! I shall complain to my mistress! (
She goes out indignantly.
)

Miss Clack
(
alone, in high triumph
). A thoroughly bad girl — how very encouraging! — a thoroughly bad girl. (
She goes to
RACHEL’S
door, and knocks.
) Rachel! Rachel, dear! (
No answer.
) Perhaps she is asleep? I’ll go in and see. (MISS CLACK
opens the door and enters
RACHEL’S
room.
RACHEL
appears in the gallery, at
FRANKLIN’S
door, and sees that the hall is empty, and descends the stairs, with
FRANKLIN’S
dressing-gown over her arm.
)

Rachel.
The stain
is
on his dressing-gown! I have saved from exposure a degraded wretch who is unworthy of my interest — unworthy of my pity. Oh, how ashamed of myself I feel! I never knew how meanly I could behave until now. (
She looks at the dressing-gown.
) How am I to destroy it! I might burn it when the house is quiet for the night. In the meantime, where can I find a safe place for it? Nobody will venture to search my room — I can hide it there. (
She advances to her room, and is met by
MISS CLACK
coming out.
)

Miss Clack.
I have been looking for you, dearest. I am just back from my mission in the town. (
She notices the dressing-gown, which
RACHEL
tries vainly to conceal.
) Dear me! What have you got hanging over your arm? (CUFF
enters by the hall door, and stops, seeing
RACHEL
in the company of a lady who is a stranger to him.
MISS CLACK
goes on.
) It looks like a dressing-gown!

Cuff
(
to himself, hearing
MISS CLACK’S
last words
). A dressing-gown?

Rachel
(
impatiently
). Never mind what it looks like! (
She tries to pass to her room.
) Let me by!

Cuff
(
to himself, struck by
RACHEL’S
manner
). Hullo!

Miss Clack.
I meant no offence, Rachel. It was only natural I should notice the dressing-gown hanging over your arm. Why are you angry with me?

Rachel
(
pushing by her
). Don’t talk nonsense! (
She enters her room, and closes the door sharply.
)

Miss Clack.
First insulted by Penelope, and now insulted by Rachel! Two trials to pass through — two offences to forgive. Oh, what a happy day! (
She turns, sees
CUFF,
and starts.
) Who is this? (
To
CUFF.) Are you a clergyman, sir?

Cuff
(
to himself
). There’s a compliment! (
To
MISS CLACK.) I am only a police-officer, ma’am.

Miss Clack
(
modestly
). Not “ma’am,” if you please. I am not married — yet.

Cuff.
I beg your pardon, miss.

Miss Clack.
Are you here about the diamond, sir?

Cuff.
Yes, miss. I’m to find out who has stolen the diamond.

Miss Clack
(
resignedly, speaking to herself
). I am quite prepared to be suspected! (
To
CUFF.) Is there any harm, Mr. Policeman, in my going to take off my bonnet in my own room?