Complicated (8 page)

The words
do you
teetered on his tongue. Jonathan stared into Sean’s eyes. He didn’t see the actor. He saw a man kicked around by life and trying to figure out who the hell he was inside.

“Then take me home.” Jonathan eased his hands into Sean’s back pockets. “We don’t have to do anything, but I want to be with you.”

“Yeah?” Sean kissed him. “We’re almost there.” He kept one arm around Jonathan and led him to the gate. “I want to do this right.” He plunked the sub bag on the desk in the guard shack. “Here you go, man. Enjoy.”

The guard buzzed them through then when they’d passed by, he locked the gate again.

Jonathan’s heart hammered. He wasn’t sure what would happen next. He followed Sean back to the trailer. He hadn’t been able to get the blowjob out of his mind. Giving head came easy to him. Open mouth and insert dick. Getting more personal… The idea kind of scared him. Maybe, he’d better go. If he stuck around, he feared he’d do something stupid.

Sean waved him into the trailer. “My house is your house—trailer. Whatever.”

Once Jonathan stepped inside, Sean closed the door then caged him between his body and the door. “When we were on set, laying together…it felt real.” He closed his mouth over Jonathan’s and pressed their bodies together.

Jonathan tried to breathe, but Sean had taken the wind from him. He closed his eyes and simply let Sean have his way. He groaned as Sean pinched his nipple through the fabric of his shirt. The new sensation of pleasure-filled pain radiated in his veins. He tasted the root beer on Sean’s kiss.

“Sean,” Jonathan managed. Anything else got lost in the kiss. He grabbed the hem of Sean’s shirt and pulled.

“Yeah,” Sean murmured. He yanked the shirt the rest of the way off his body. The move caused his hair to stand on end.

Jonathan sighed. Even with mussed hair, the man was hot. His dark eyes blazed, and the five o’clock shadow on his cheeks added to his allure. His nipples were hard, and in the dim light, sweat glistened on his sculpted body. No wonder people of both sexes found him sexy.

“Ever since yesterday, I’ve been dying to look at you again.” Sean eased Jonathan’s T-shirt over his head then tossed the garment out of sight. He kissed Jonathan again, this time sucking on Jonathan’s tongue.

Jonathan had been kissed before, lots of times when the guys from college wanted to fool around with someone safe. But those kisses had never held the passion and feral need Sean’s did. The others made kissing seem like a chore and something only they got anything out of, but Sean made the act special. Was the stronger feeling on account of the chance Jonathan would finally have sex?

Sean pulled away and smoothed his palm along Jonathan’s chest then down to his cock. “What’s wrong? Obviously not this. Damn, you’re…wow.”

Wow? He was average at best. “Nothing’s wrong.” He hadn’t lied, but he hadn’t said the entire truth.
I’m overwhelmed, scared and about to run screaming into the night.

Yeah, he couldn’t say all of that. Sean would laugh and send him home. Christ. Now, he felt as if he were back in high school, needing permission to have a life.

“I see.” Sean popped the button on his pants then shoved the denim to the floor. He kicked out of his shoes, socks and the wadded up jeans. “I’m stripped just about bare.”

The definite rawness between them wasn’t lost on Jonathan.

“I want you to stay tonight. Not because you think I’m expecting it, but because you want to.” Sean draped his arms around Jonathan’s neck. “Come to bed with me. We don’t have to have sex.”

Embarrassment washed over Jonathan. He was fucking this all up. God.

“You’re young, new at this whole relationship thing…and you’re hot as hell. I’m shocked you’re even interested in me.” Sean let go of him and stepped back. He held out his hand. “Please?”

“Sean, you don’t understand.” Jonathan balled his fists at his sides. He wanted to reach for Sean and never let go.

“Then enlighten me.” Sean grabbed one of Jonathan’s fists, uncurled his fingers then kissed his knuckles. “Trust me?”

Jonathan debated his options. If he ran away, he’d wonder what could’ve happened. If he stayed, he could end up looking like a doofus. Then again, if he stayed, they might have a good time… He wanted a good time.

“I trust you.” Jonathan opened his jeans. He toed out of his running shoes then shimmied his pants down his hips. The denim pooled around his ankles.

“Damn.” Sean trailed his fingertips over the thin line of hairs leading from between Jonathan’s pecs to the waistband of his boxer shorts. “If you’ve never been told you’re a knockout, then the wrong people were looking at you.”

“Most people don’t notice me.”

“Then they’re blind.” Sean escorted Jonathan to the bedroom. “You first.”

“I’ve never done this before.” Jonathan stared at the bed. Pretending to be lovers and laying with Sean for a scene wasn’t anything like the actual act of having real feelings between them as they laid together. He bit back his fear and crawled onto the bed.

“That wasn’t so hard.” Sean stretched out beside him again, but this time, he rested his arm across Jonathan’s chest. “You’re scared.”

“It’s that obvious?” Jonathan forced his gaze to the ceiling. He hated embarrassment.

“A blowjob in the hallway is one thing. There’s emotion, but you can block out some of them. Laying together and having to look at each other is something different. You can’t hide from the emotions now.” Sean kissed Jonathan’s shoulder. “I don’t want to hide mine.”

“I’m not sure what to think right now,” Jonathan confessed. “I’m scared and overwhelmed.”

Sean tipped Jonathan’s gaze. His eyes sparkled in the moonlight streaming in from the window. “You held out a long time. A lot of guys couldn’t be that strong.” He kissed Jonathan’s shoulder again. “I hope I’m worthy of you.” He tangled their legs together.

Worthy?
“You’re scared, too?”

“Sure,” Sean replied. “My reputation precedes me. I have a hard time finding guys who want to date me, not a character from one of my movies or shows. Then when one seems interested in the real me, I go and screw it up by keeping up my guard. If you can’t tell, I’m not easy to handle.”

“You seem pretty good to me.” Jonathan smiled. The tension between them eased up a bit. “You said you didn’t remember your first. Why?”

“Partially because I lied. I do remember him.” Sean flopped onto his back. “But it’s a little embarrassing.” He slid his arm under Jonathan then tugged him onto his chest. “My first time—promise you won’t laugh?”

“I won’t.”

“It was with a girl. Cassidee Motes. Remember her from
Checkers
? The skinny girl with the huge boobs? We were on the set and supposed to be kissing or something. They shouted cut, and she pulled me into a closet. I did what she told me to do and what I’d seen in soft-core porn. She said she’d make me a man.” He chuckled. “Yeah, that didn’t work the way she intended. She helped me realize I don’t want pussy. I want cock.”

Jonathan listened to the thump of Sean’s heart. He remembered the girl from
Checkers
. Most of the guys in his high school had the hots for her and regularly talked about who’d fuck her when they got to meet her. They’d made fun of him when he hadn’t joined in. He’d been too entranced by Sean to think about a woman.

“Who was your first guy?” Jonathan asked.

“After Cassidee and I faked being boyfriend and girlfriend for a year—she believed we were dating and to this day swears I was the one who got away—I did a short stint in rehab and came out. I didn’t want to be teen sweethearts for half the country.” Sean stroked Jonathan’s hair. “There was this guy, Raymond. He was fine as hell, but he wasn’t gay. I dreamed about him. When I finally got the courage to tell him I liked him, he punched me then set me up with his friend Danny. Talk about awkward, but I lived. Danny was my first. It hurt, I was clueless and for a while, I swore I’d never have sex again.”

So the prevailing thought that sex was wonderful and perfect the first time might not be true? Huh. “What changed your mind?”

“Drugs.” Sean nodded. “Coke and booze.”

“Really?” The gossip magazines had regularly reported on Sean’s condition—who he was sleeping with and what drugs he was strung out on. Jonathan had preferred to ignore the rumors and pretend he knew the sugar-coated truth. Unfortunately, he’d been wrong. Knowing Sean wasn’t superhuman, though, did help. He liked and respected him more.

“When you’re blitzed out of your mind, you’ll do stupid shit,” Sean said. “I won’t get into it all now, but after all the crap I’ve done, I should be dead.”

“I’m glad you’re not.” Jonathan propped himself up on his elbow and stared down at Sean. “You’re stronger than you think.” He traced the seam of Sean’s mouth with his fingertip. “You said the guys who didn’t see me were blind. I disagree. They were just passing me over because they knew I was in for something better.”

“Come here.” Sean writhed beneath Jonathan and grasped Jonathan’s ass. He didn’t push, but instead caressed and relaxed Jonathan.

The rub of cock on cock, despite the cotton boxers between them, added to Jonathan’s pleasure. He ground his hips, enjoying the sweet pressure. His arms and legs tingled.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Sean cupped Jonathan’s jaw in one hand. “Make love to me.” When Jonathan tensed, Sean hushed him. “Shh. You won’t hurt me. I’ll guide you.”

Sean rolled Jonathan onto his back then climbed on top of him. He placed Jonathan’s hand on his ass. “Touch me. Explore.” He pinched his own nipples and whimpered. “I’ve dreamed of you in my ass since the day I saw you.” He tipped his head back. “Jesus, this feels good.”

“Take off your boxers.” Jonathan hooked his fingers in the elastic of Sean’s boxer briefs. “Please?”

“You don’t have to beg me, honey.” Sean scurried off the bed long enough to shuck the underwear then rummage through the side-table drawer. The crinkle of the condom wrapper echoed in the room. “I’ll help you prep me.” He eased Jonathan’s boxers down his legs then groaned. “First, I’m taking care of this. Fucking hot.”

The condom and bottle of lube landed beside Jonathan’s hip. “The quiet ones are always packing.” Sean leaned over the bed and rubbed his face on Jonathan’s dick.

“Fuck,” Jonathan murmured. He’d been on the receiving end of blowjobs, but this was different. He hadn’t been with another man in so long and only relied on his hand to get off.

“So pretty.” Sean flicked his tongue across the head of Jonathan’s cock. “This will feel so good in my ass.” While he teased, Sean stroked Jonathan.

Jonathan arched his back. If Sean kept up for much longer, he’d come too fast.

“You don’t need much prep work. I like it.” Sean abandoned Jonathan’s prick then crawled back onto the bed. He dribbled lube over his fingers then over Jonathan’s fingers. “Nice and slippery.” He drew in a long breath then let it out slowly. He guided Jonathan’s hand between his ass cheeks to his hole. “Touch my ass.”

When Sean sighed, Jonathan drew up his knees and slid his lover forward. The slight change in position gave him better access. He found the tight ring of muscle and watched Sean’s expression.

Sean’s lips parted, and his brow knotted. “Right there.” He relaxed on Jonathan’s finger, allowing Jonathan to breach his opening. He wrapped his hands around Jonathan’s shoulders and leaned forward. “Did I mention I’m flexible?”

The little joke broke more of the tension. They were going to do this. He wasn’t going to be a total virgin any longer. Jonathan pushed past the muscle, into Sean’s hole.

“Hold up.” Sean closed his eyes then buried his face in Jonathan’s chest. “I love that.”

“What?” Jonathan whispered.

“The newness.” Sean lifted his head and smiled. “Finding out what we like and what makes us come apart.” He rocked backwards on Jonathan’s finger. “Like this.”

Jonathan wiggled his digit and watched Sean move. The undulation of Sean’s body, combined with the little whimpers and moans turned him on.

“Put it inside me.” Sean eased away from Jonathan’s finger. “I can handle it.” He scooted down Jonathan’s legs and grabbed the condom. His gaze never wavered from Jonathan’s as he tore open the packet then rolled the latex over Jonathan’s prick.

Jonathan still felt unsure, but he allowed instinct to take over. He grasped Sean’s hips and aligned him on his lap.

“I like when a man takes charge.” Sean bit his bottom lip. He kept his hands on Jonathan’s shoulders. “Go for it.”

Jonathan reached between their legs and lined his dick up with Sean’s hole. His hand shook. God. What if he screwed this up? And why was he thinking so hard? Why was he thinking at all?

“You’re doing fine.” Sean sank backwards, taking Jonathan into his body. “Damn, that feels good. Nice and tight.” He doubled over and kissed Jonathan. Fires burned in Sean’s eyes. “Just hold onto my hips. I’ll teach you.”

Jonathan did as told. He eased Sean up and down on his cock. Holy hell. He swore he felt Sean moving in his soul, and he was the one inside Sean. His nerve endings tingled, and his belly tightened. Each time he pulled Sean down until they were tight together, he shivered. Everything felt so good. He couldn’t breathe. and his thoughts scattered.

“Yeah, babe. Get into this.” Sean pinched Jonathan’s nipples. He rolled his hips, grinding on Jonathan’s dick. “I just came before dinner, but I’m ready to come again. Harder.” He braced himself by holding Jonathan’s shoulders and completely took over the act of fucking. He tilted his head back. He parted his lips and dug his blunt nails into Jonathan’s skin. “Oh, God.”

Not much longer, and Jonathan would come, too. He pulled Sean down harder on his dick, pushing as deep as possible. The more they fucked, the better he got and the more he loved what they were doing. He smelled the spicy scent of Sean’s cologne. When he eased Sean down for a kiss, he tasted the salt of perspiration on his skin. Sean clenched, holding Jonathan’s cock tight in his ass. Jonathan’s balls tingled. Damn. Everything sizzled.

“I’m on the edge,” Sean gasped. “Come with me.” He let go of Jonathan and grasped his own cock. He stroked in time with his bounces on Jonathan’s lap. “Fuck.”