Confessions Of A Vampire (18 page)

I was about to ask him what the hell was going on when out of the shadows stepped a demon I knew. My eyes widened
in fear
a
nd I took a step back, in shock. I’d never forget this demon as long as I was undead.

Sensing my fear
,
Severus took a step forward, growling dark and menacingly, and I couldn't do much more than watch in silence. I could see the smirk on the other demon's face when Severus asked what he wanted. A shiver ran through me when he spoke.

“
The vampire and I have unfinished business.” He looked past my husband and smiled down at me. I gulped and hid back behind Severus again, hoping this was just a nightmare. I knew ex
actly who this demon was and I wanted no part of him
.
My fear was becoming unreasonable as the memories of that fight that had led to my ‘death’ flashed through my mind.

Severus growl was deep and threatening when he saw the memory through my eyes as he read my mind and emotions. Sometimes the bond can be a bad thing and this was one of those since it put my husband in a very dangerous mood.  Pushing me behind him he leveled his gaze on the other demon and made his intent to protect what was his clear.

I was trembling by that time and I wanted nothing more than to run as fast as I could from this situation. In my mind I knew that Severus would protect me. He always had but this demon had come to claim my soul and I was terrified that he would stop at nothing to get it.

I sent the thought to Sev and he squared his shoulders. Any other night I’d have been turned on by the way he was standing up for me but this night was different. This night my very existence depended on the strength of my husband and as much faith as I had in him, I couldn’t help but be scared.

The other demon made the first move and the fight was on. I could do little more than watch while they wrestled around in the sand. 
As the sounds of bones breaking filled the air around me, I forced myself to stop being such a little bitch and tried to find a way to help my husband.

When the other demon pinned him and raised his hand to level the punch to his face, I picked up the surfboard I’d learned to ride earlier that day and swung with all of my might. It connected with the back of the demon’s head with a loud crack and my fangs immediately descended when the smell of blood assaulted my senses.

I raced to Sev’s side, dropping to my knees after pushing the other demon’s body off of him. I cradled his head in my lap and tore into my own wrist, pressing it to my husband’s lips, begging him to drink. A vampire’s blood has healing properties to their bonded and so I kept my wrist to his mouth
while he weakly drank from me.

When he’d regained his strength, he sat and turned to face me. Anger and confusion shone in his gaze and I knew I’d have to tell him about the demon and all that had happened while he’d been gone and I’d been in Hell. I told him about searching for him and that it had been hard to remain unnoticed in that world. I could tell that he was blaming himself for all that had happened to me while he’d been gone and if I were honest with myself and him, I blamed him as well.

He asked about Lucifer’s part in everything that had occurred and I explained for the first time about how I’d been cast out of Hell. I had never really gone into the full story until that night and
it almost felt freeing for him to know how I had come to be the being I was now.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t explained it somewhat but now he was getting the full version.
Wrapping his arms around me, my husband tried to offer me some comfort. I held tightly to him and tried to show him that I was okay now, but Severus was still on edge. I hated the thoughts that he was thinking. I knew what was coming and I didn’t want to hear it.

“
I have to go put an end to this once and for all, Sunshine.
If this demon found you, others could as well.
Lucifer is letting the demons run wild
and giving them too much leeway when it comes to your safety
and sooner or later one will end up catching you alone.
I have to put a stop to it, babe. They all need to know that I have no plans on releasing you from the promise of your soul. It’s the best way to ensure your safety.
I can't risk losing you.
I love you too much to ever let that happen.
”

I bit my bottom lip to keep from letting the frown form. I knew that what he was saying was true and possibly for the best but I hated the idea of being here without him. I didn't want to be alone, not while other demons thought I was fair game and that killing me
and claiming my soul
would destroy Severus. I longed to beg him to stay. I held back tears that were brimming over as I nodded. I couldn't find my voice and I clung to him.

Each time he left I worried
that
he wouldn't return but this time was worse than any
of the
other
s
. This time he was going looking for trouble and I could be the reason his existence ended. My heart broke at the thought of a world without him in it. If it ever came to that I was sure I'd end my own undead life. I needed him like humans needed air.
I would never forgive myself if something happened to my husband because of me.

We spent that night together, making love and trying to memorize the small touches, the kisses and the way our bodies felt when joined. Both of us knew that this could be our last moments together and we weren't about to waste them.
I fought death’s claim as long as I could, finally succumbing to it just as the sun crested over the horizon.

I
arose
the next morning to find him already gone. The house felt empty and I felt lost once again. I listened for any call he might give through the bond but none came. The days turned to weeks, the weeks to months and still no word.
My worry grew as each day passed by in silence and I caught myself staring out the window, looking for any sign of him more than once.

I did my best to try to carry on with my life, burying myself in the business of running our homes around the world. But my mind always went back to him. I called upon other supernatural beings I knew, asking if anyone had heard anything about him. No one had and I was starting to
contemplate going back to Hell to search for him or to just listen to the talk in the realm
.

It wasn't that Severus hadn't disappeared before but this time I knew the danger he faced and the worry was eating away at me. I faced each
night alone and began to question
if he was even still alive. Pushing those thoughts from my head, I'd walk the beach to try to clear my thoughts. The gentle breeze from the ocean sent chills over me and I stood at the water's edge as it lapped at my bare feet, staring at the moon. I'd wish upon every star in the night sky hoping it would bring him home.

Every night it was the same, I'd wait there on th
at beach for him and he wouldn’t
show. There was so much I needed to tell him. I'd found out I was pregnant with the twins not long after he left and I hadn't been able to even share that news with him. My husband didn't know that he was going to be a father again and I wasn't even sure he'd make it home to be a dad to our children. My emotions often got the best of me and I'd sit in the sand, moonlight streaming down over me and cry.

Then one night, I'd just gotten down to the beach after a heavy storm had delayed my plans a few hours when he suddenly appeared. For just a moment I thought I was dreaming and then he pulled me in
to his arms
.
I wrapped myself around him, tears of happiness flowing freely. I kissed him and touched him just to reassure myself that he really was here.

Stepping back to study him, I tried my best to hide the frown at his appearance.
He looked worse for the wear and I could tell it had been a rough trip back to his realm for him. He didn't seem all too eager to share just what had happened so I thought now would be as good a time as any to tell him of our unexpected news.

I was scared at first but soon I was blurting out that we were expecting and his smile lit up the night. His hand came to rest on my growing stomach and all felt right with the world. We stayed wrapped in each other, talking about our new additions to our little family and how happy we both were. But through it all I could tell something wasn't right.

Severus seemed distant and I couldn't quite figure out why. I didn't want to deal with anything negative on his first night home so I pushed my anxiety aside and just enjoyed having my husband home again. I woke to find myself alone in the bed again, and I had that sinking feeling that he hadn't just gone downstairs for a snack.

As I slipped out of the bed I saw the note taped to the mirror of my vanity. A note that I knew would tell me he had to leave and that he was sorry. I didn't bother to open it, choosing instead to crumple it in my fist and throw it haphazardly into the nearest garbage can.

They're just words, I told myself. Just words he uses to try and fix him leaving again. Running a hand through my hair, I rested the other on my baby bump and smiled
sadly
when I felt our children kick. He was missing it again, I thought. Shaking my head, I sighed.

“
He's always missing it,
”
I said aloud to no one.

I moved about my daily routine once again, as if nothing had changed. Only this time
, it felt as if everything had and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to forgive him this time.

Chapter Twenty-T
hree

I looked up at Aaron when I heard the door open. I was almost too scared to look past the young man, afraid that it wouldn't be Severus standing there. I wanted it to be him so badly but I was just too damn scared to look.

My eyes remained locked on Aaron as he seemed to sense my need for someone else to tell me that I wasn't just wishing on useless stars again. His voice came in a halted whisper when he finally cured me of my sudden paralysis.

“It's him.”

Those were the only words I needed to hear. I was out of my seat so quickly that I left it laying on
its
side. I flew into the arms of my husband. Our last encounter had not been good. We'd argued most of it, but that was then and this was now. Now he was here. He was home and I didn't care if it was only for two minutes, as long as he was here.

His arms encircled me as his warm lips brushed my temple. I breathed him in, that scent of Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue cologne and smoke. He smelled of Heaven and Hell all in one and I was addicted to it.

Aaron excused himself and left quietly. That evening was spent much differently than I'd expected and I shared this with Aaron when he returned two mornings later.

It all started out normal but quickly went downhill. Severus and I had enjoyed our reunion, spending time with our children and taking joy in being back together. Somewhere along the way it all went to Hell. We were laying in bed, spent from hours of lovemaking when the fight started. I can’t even recall what we were fighting about but it quickly grew heated.

We'd argued for hours about nothing and everything. Severus had arrived home in a foul mood and he was taking it out on me. I was
sick and
t
ired of being the one that caught
hell for things I hadn't done and I let him know
it
, loudly.

Our voices echoed throughout the house and the servants were cowering in the kitchen, not wanting any part of what was
taking place in the upstairs suite
. The moment he raised his voice with me, I lost all control and told him how I felt about always being left alone. I didn't care that he had business or that he always had some excuse. I was sick of it and it was going to end, one way or another.

This set off a chain reaction and everything just went haywire. He bitched that I was too demanding of his time and that I needed to let it go already. I threw back at him that he was never home and I lived my life alone so why the hell was I even married in the first place.

And then I totally lost it. He spit his words at me, telling me that it was fine by him if I was single. Next thing you know, our wedding picture was flying at his head, followed closely by my stilettos.

His words stung and the tension in his face told me that he'd reached his breaking point with me. But I wasn't backing down. He'd either kill me or fuck me and at that point I didn't care which it was, as long as he did something in this realm with me.