Confessions Of A Vampire (14 page)

“What type of powers?”

Chuckling softly, I waved a hand and materialized a soda, handing it to him with a smile. “I can materialize pretty much anything, much like Severus can, but there are other things as well.”

Holding out my hand I watched his eyes widen in fear as the ball of fire hovered just above my palm.  “It’s a neat little party trick, no?”

Aaron could only nod and I went on. “Conjuring fire is a way I can protect myself. I can also steal powers from other demons, but that’s very dangerous so I only do it when necessary.”

Aaron jotted down a few things in his
book before speaking again. “H
ow long was i
t before your husband returned?”

“Severus was gone over nine months that time.”

“There have been other times?”
he interrupted before I could finish.

I couldn't find my voice so I simply shook my head as the memory of the other time he'd left washed over me.

Chapter Seventeen

He’d stayed almost four months before he left again. He touched base when he could, but I’d long since given up hope that he’d be home anytime soon.
I was close to delivering the twins and wanted nothing more than
for
my husband to be there.
There were so many things I needed to talk to him about and I needed him by my side when I gave birth.

I'd done everything I could to get in touch with him but my text messages and calls through the bond had gone unanswered. I was beginning to doubt that he was coming back. Trying to push those thoughts from my mind, I went about my daily life, getting the nursery ready and going to my doctor visits.

Malachi did his best to stop in and check on me but he had his own family now and as much as I wanted to see more of him, I stayed quiet.
It wasn’t his job to take care of his mother anymore and I certainly didn’t want to intrude on his life. He was happy and being in his childhood home seemed to make him depressed so I just tried to handle things on my own.

As my due date loomed with no word from my husband that old feeling started to creep back up on me. I just knew that he wasn't going to make it home and I silently prayed that it wasn't by his choice.

Even knowing it could be against his will that he wasn't home, I was angry. Angry enough that I'd seriously begun to doubt whether I could stay in this marriage if he were going to continue to be gone like this. He was missing all of the important events in our lives and he didn't seem to be too upset about it.
That was the thing that bothered me the most. He seemed so indifferent about it all. It was as if we didn’t really cross his mind at all when he was gone.

I had
just
about reached my breaking point and with the birth of our daughters looming, I was ready to just end it all. To say I was emotional then was like saying Satan was evil, it was just fact.
With each night that passed
I
began to hate
who I was becoming. I'd never depended on anyone the way I did Severus and that was the bane of my existence then.

I had always been the girl that could take care of herself, but now, I was scared of facing life alone. I loved him so much that it was impossible for me to consider a life without him by my side. And yet, t
hat was exactly what I was living
.

I needed more than he was giving me at this point. I needed a husband who was going to be around and who would be a father to our children. He'd missed everything with Malachi and I still hadn't forgiven him for that fully.
The thought of him missing our daughters
’
birth and their lives was too much.

As the
day
s
passed without a word from him I made plans to go back to Rome to have our chi
ldren. I wanted to be close to
him
at least
and Rome was his home
so I packed what we would need and before dawn I was there
.

I busied myself with opening the house back up and preparing for the birth of the twins. I tried my hardest to not think of Severus but I was failing miserably.
I hadn't been there for more than a few days when I went into labor. I wasn't so much upset as I was pissed that he hadn't bothered to show up.
I knew damn well he could feel my pain and my need for him.
I was convinced that he’d chosen to ignore it and purposely missed the birth.
It was the final straw and I consulted my attorney about filing for divorce.

Of course, that was much easier said than done given we were supernatural beings and I'd promised him my soul. Still I argued that we'd married under human and supernatural laws and I wanted both dissolved. I don't know why I was adamant that our marriage be over. It wasn't as if I'd stopped loving him, but I was hurt
and wasn’t thinking rationally
.

Hurt that he'd let me face this birth alone. Hurt that he'd left me yet again with no word. A heart can only take so much and this one had had enough. Or so I tried to convince everyone, including myself. But then night would fall and I'd be lying in the bed we'd shared and I'd cry. I cried for every time he'd left me. I cried because I knew I could never go through with a divorce from him
no matter how badly he hurt me
.

Severus was my soul mate. He was the one being in all the realms that loved me and allowed me to be myself completely when I was with him. He'd seen sides of me no one else had bothered to see. I could be vulnerable with him and know that he'd protect me and keep my secrets. He'd forgiven me just as many things as I'd forgiven him.

We were more than husband and wife. We were best friends and confidants. I was the push to his pull. He was the fire to my flame. We completed each other and no matter what came our way, we'd survived it.

But you couldn't tell me that in the light of day. With two new babies that required my full time attention, I was slowly falling apart. In those moments of insanity, I hated him.

Malachi tried his best to get me to reconsider, even though he was angry with his father. He knew, just as I did, that I would never forgive myself for giving up on us. He argued with me until he could no longer stand to be around me.

He'd leave only to return a few short hours later to try once more to convince me that I was wrong. But I refused to listen. I was too angry at Severus and I wanted to hurt him, as much as he'd hurt me. I wanted to punish him for all the times he'd just left me without warning. I wanted him to feel the betrayal I felt each time I looked at the empty seat across from me.

Our daughters didn't know their father and I didn't want them to. He didn't deserve his family.
He didn’t deserve to be in our lives anymore.

Months passed without a word from him. Each
month brought
me closer to the human
’
s law that I had to be separated from him for at least a year before I could proceed with a divorce. And each month that passed also brought me closer to being able to legally declare him dead.

I weighed the benefits of each and soon the legal death started to sound better and better to me. That way I'd lose nothing. I stood to inherit his entire estate and that
,
to me
,
was the best fuck you I could think of.

I admit that I wasn't completely rational at that point, but it all made perfect sense in my head. I could have him declared dead, claim his estate and live happily ever after. And I wish I could tell you that it actually worked out that way, but as in any plan I've ever come up with, the shit hit the fan, so to speak.

Just days after he'd been declared dead by the human courts my dear departed husband popped up. By then I'd given up on ever seeing him again and actually wondered if I had gone insane or was trapped in a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. Of course it was a nightmare of my own making.

But there he was, flesh and bone and just as sexy as ever. Part of me wanted to rush into his arms as if nothing had happened and we'd never been apart. But that wasn't the part that won that war. The anger I had let build up for so long came flooding out and I let him have it. I screamed and yelled and threw vases at his head.

Much to my surprise Severus just stood there and took it. He didn't offer an excuse or an apology. He told me, in a voice I'd never heard from him before
,
that he was wrong and he didn't blame me for hating him. He asked for my forgiveness for letting me down and I wanted to give it to him, but I just couldn't. Something inside of me demanded that I make him suffer as I had. I wasn't thinking straight and I was letting my emotions lead me down a path that was sure to end up in a very bad place.

I turned away from him, as much to hide my tears as to show him
that
he meant nothing to me. In a voice that had more confidence than I felt at the time, I told him to get out of my home.

And then I walked away. I walked away from the man that had held my heart for almost nine centuries. Closing the door behind me, I sank to the floor, my tears held in check as I listened to his steps falling away. When the front door closed, I knew that we were over
and my cold, unbeating heart shattered
.

Maria, the maid we had since we moved to Rome, came in and sat next to me. She wrapped me in her arms and I still couldn't cry. For all the times I'd cried when he was gone, now I couldn't shed a single tear.

I felt hollow inside, as if his leaving had taken my very will to live. My heart screamed at me to run after him and beg him to come back but my head wouldn't listen. And so I sat there on that cold Italian marble floor, in a daze, alone with a woman that was paid to take care of me.

Night fell and there I sat. I could not move. Moving meant it was real. Moving meant that Severus was gone and so was my heart. So I sat there for three nights.

As the sun colored the sky pink on the morning of the fourth day without him, he appeared. I heard the heavy oak door swing open and footsteps on the hall. I caught his scent before he
even
stood before me. Severus always smelled of a smoky, heady scent and it enveloped me.

Without a word he swept me up in his arms and crushed his lips to mine. It was a kiss that seared into my very soul and my arms wrapped around his neck as if that kiss were the only thing standing between me and madness. When he spoke, his voice was breathless and strong.

“
You are my wife and no one, not even you, will stop me from being here with you. This is where I belong and that's that.”

And with that
,
he laid me back on that cold floor and reminded me of how good we are together. His lips left heated kisses down my neck as he teased spots only he knew would drive me wild. His calloused hands wandered my curves, as if memorizing them. I arched up into his touch, a need burning hot inside of me that only this man could fill.

My long, dark red hair splayed out on the floor beneath me as he bit and licked his way up my stomach. His hands lifted my hips off of the floor and I wriggled out of the jeans I'd slipped on earlier in the day. With each kiss my anger slipped further away until all that was left was an aching desire to belong to him again.

Soon he was between my thighs, hovering just above me, his lips a breath away from mine. The gold chain he wore hung down, teasing my breasts as he took his time joining our bodies. When his lips met mine, they were soft and gentle. Each movement we made spoke of love and devotion. Our fingers laced above my head as his whispered words sent my heart soaring. This was the man I had loved my entire existence and I was the only woman he'd ever given his heart to.

We were one again and nothing could part us. Stolen kisses and soft caresses seemed to last an eternity. By the time we lay spent on that floor just outside of his study, we were both breathless. Our legs entangled, my head on his chest, his arms wrapped around me, keeping me pressed tightly against him and I was home again.

His heart beat in my ear, loud and strong and I could smell the lingering scent of my lavender soap on his skin. Tracing small circles on his chest with a nail, I listened to him breathe. The sound was soothing and his breath was warm as he exhaled.