Controlled Burn (14 page)

“Maybe I should have tried the muffin
before
I told her I had a girlfriend.”

She gave him a stern look that only lasted a few
seconds. “I’d throw this at you for saying that, but then I wouldn’t be able to eat the rest of it.”

“I’ll look away while you lick the crumbs off the plate if you want.”

“That’s sweet of you to leave me some dignity like that.” She chewed and swallowed another bite. “So you told her you have a girlfriend.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that the standard defense when a woman shows up at the
station looking for attention from one of you?”

He shrugged, not really sure how to answer that. “We use it a lot, I guess.”

“So it’s not really specific to you?”

“Considering you’d spent the night before in my bed, it might have been a little specific, I guess.”

When she smiled before popping the last bite of muffin into her mouth, Rick realized he’d managed to say the right
thing.

“So if you were introducing me to people now, would you still introduce me as your landlords’ granddaughter?”

“No. I mean, it might come up, but I want everybody to know you’re with me.” He watched her smile and dreaded the upcoming separation even more. “Are we going to do the long-distance thing?”

She sighed. “It’s a very long distance. And even though I’m going to be visiting
Joe and Marie, it’s not like I’ll be coming back to Boston multiple weekends per month or anything. Maybe it doesn’t need definition. We’ll just keep in touch and see how it goes.”

“I hope it goes good,” he said, and then yawned again. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too.”

“What time is your flight tomorrow?”

“It takes off at 5:45.”

He winced. “In the morning?”

“Yeah, so I’m leaving here about four. I took the early flight so I can get there and run by my house, but still have time to get into the office. I didn’t leave myself a lot of time to oversee the last-minute stuff, plus I’m sure my father will want to have a catch-up meeting.”

“I can set my alarm and go with you.”

She laced her fingers through his and rested her head against the
couch. “You don’t have to. I still have the rental, anyway, so it’s not like you could drive me.”

“I could drive the rental and then take a cab back.”

“Rick, they won’t let you past security, anyway. There’s no sense in you losing sleep and throwing your schedule off to drive me to the airport for no reason.”

“I don’t think there has to be a reason.” The reason was spending every
last minute he could with her.

She inhaled deeply and then turned her head to look him in the eye. “It’s going to be hard enough leaving Joe and Marie. I don’t know if I could stand an airport goodbye with you. I’m not very good at that sort of thing.”

“So it’s easier if you just get up and get in your car and go?”

“Honestly, yes.”

He nodded. “Then that’s what you should do.
But text me when you land so I know you got to California okay.”

“I think if we don’t get there okay, you’ll hear about it on the news.”

“Don’t say that.” Once she’d put her plate down, he pulled her closer so she was tucked against his side and kissed the top of her head. “Just text me when you get there.”

“You want me to sit like this so I can’t see you yawn, don’t you?”

“I swear it’s not personal.”

“Why don’t you go to bed for a while and then you can come down and have dinner with us.”

“Sounds good. Why don’t you come to bed with me?”

She laughed, and he felt her head shake even though he’d closed his eyes. “I think it would be hard not to take those yawns personally.”

“Just to lay down with me,” he muttered. He was losing the sleep battle
and he wanted to go stretch out on his bed. But he didn’t want to lose a minute with Jess, even if he was asleep for it. “I’ll sleep better.”

She got to her feet and grabbed his hands to help him to his feet. “I still have some packing to do and I have to figure out what I’m leaving here, but I’ll lay down with you for a little while.”

His last thought before he slipped into a heavy
sleep with his body curled around Jessica’s was how much he didn’t want her to go.

Chapter Thirteen

Even though she practically tiptoed through the house, Jessica wasn’t surprised when Marie shuffled into the kitchen in her well-worn slippers and bathrobe just before four o’clock the next morning.

“I almost missed you.”

Her throat tight, Jessica took her hand off the doorknob and set her carry-on bag on top of the suitcase. “I told you not to bother
getting up.”

“You’re not leaving this house without a hug from your grandmother. But I know you didn’t want a big emotional scene so I made sure I only left enough time for a quick goodbye.”

They met in the middle of the kitchen, and tears spilled over Jessica’s cheeks as her grandmother wrapped her arms around her. “I’m going to come back and visit as soon as I can.”

“I can’t wait.
I love you, honey.”

“I love you too...Gram.”

“I like the sound of that.” After a big sniffle, Marie pulled back and wiped the tears off Jessica’s face. “Your grandfather’s not good at this sort of thing, so I let him sleep, but he loves you, too.”

“Give him a kiss from me when he wakes up.”

“I will. Now you go before you miss your plane. We don’t want to have to do this again
tomorrow.”

After another quick hug, Jessica slung her carry-on over her shoulder and grabbed her suitcase. “Bye, Gram.”

She managed to get the door closed and walk down the ramp without her eyes welling up again, but she stopped walking when she reached the driveway.

Rick was leaning against the rental, his shoulders hunched against the cold. The frigid air made his eyes sparkle
and his cheeks were pink, and he looked utterly delicious for four o’clock in the morning. His smile was full of warmth and understanding as he uncrossed his legs and made his way across the driveway to take her suitcase.

“I take it Marie got up to see you off,” he said, swiping at a leftover tear on her jaw with his thumb.

“Neither of you listen worth a damn.” She was going for light
and funny, but there was too much emotion clogging her throat to pull it off. “You should go back to bed.”

“I might, after your plane takes off. I’m going to spend every minute I can with you before you go, so give me your keys.”

He started the car before popping the trunk and made her get into the passenger seat to keep warm while he stowed her bags. Then he slid the driver’s seat back
a few more inches and got in.

“Got everything?”

She nodded because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to speak. This was exactly what she’d been hoping to avoid when she told everybody to stay in bed. If she hadn’t hugged Marie or felt that kick in her chest when she saw Rick leaning against the car, maybe she would have been able to lie to herself about how much she didn’t want to leave.

Once he’d backed the car out onto the street and put it in gear, Rick put his left hand on the steering wheel and reached his free hand across to take hers. After lacing their fingers together, he set their joined hands on the center console and navigated through the still sleepy streets.

Jessica leaned her head against the headrest, trying to blink back tears as his thumb stroked her
index finger. How the hell had this happened? She’d come here to fulfill her curiosity about her father’s parents and help them plan for their future, and her entire life had changed.

She had grandparents now—
real
grandparents—and she had this guy she’d only known a couple of weeks, but already couldn’t imagine not seeing tomorrow. Or the next day. Or any day in the near future.

“Hey.”
His voice was soft and he didn’t say anything else until she turned her head to look at him. “You’re going to text me to let me know you landed okay, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. And I know you like to text because it’s fast and easy, but I want to hear your voice sometimes, too.”

Some of the tightness in her chest eased. “So you really think we can make a long-distance thing work?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” He squeezed her hand. “I hope so. But I do know I’m not ready to just say ‘hey, that was fun, thanks’ and not talk to you again.”

“I’m not, either.”

He took his eyes off the road for a second to smile at her. “We’ll figure it out as we go along, then.”

They talked a little bit, mostly about Marie and Joe, until they reached the airport, where the conversation
turned to where the hell they were supposed to be going.

“I thought you’d have this, being from here,” she teased.

“I’m not from the airport.” He moved over a lane so abruptly she almost squealed. “Trust me. Nobody has any clue where they’re going here.”

He finally navigated successfully to the rental car building, then waited with her luggage while she turned the car in. During
the shuttle ride to the terminal, he was quiet. But he held her hand and she liked that. She’d forgotten how comforting the gesture could be, and she tried to draw strength from it so she wouldn’t cry when it was time for him to leave.

After checking her suitcase at the curb, they went inside and she decided they had time to grab a coffee together before she had to get in the security line.
Even if it was only a few minutes, she’d take them.

“Did you leave your car at the airport on the other end?” he asked when they’d found a spot to drink their coffees and watch people.

“I wasn’t sure how long I’d be, so I took a cab. I’ll just take one to the house and drop off my luggage before I go to the office.”

“How do you think your father’s going to be?”

She shrugged.
“I think he’s had time to come to terms with what happened.”

“He shouldn’t really have to come to terms with you visiting your grandparents, you know.”

“I do know that.” She shrugged again. “But he didn’t want me to know them and I knew that when I got on the plane here. And I stayed when he wanted me to go back. I guess the details aren’t important. What matters is that I did something
I knew would upset him and complicate his life.”

Rick frowned. “You defied him.”

“It’s not that, exactly. That makes him sound like a tyrant, when in reality, the manipulation is much more subtle. And it’s as much my fear of making him unhappy as it is control on his part.”

He reached over and squeezed her knee. “That’s not really how family’s supposed to work, Jess.”

“Aren’t
you the one who told me families look a lot of different ways, and there’s no right or wrong or supposed to about any of them?”

He nodded, his mouth curving in a smile. “You got me there.”

Usually when she was in an airport, waiting for a flight, time seemed to slow to a crawl, but the minutes flew by and all too soon they had to throw away their empty cups and head toward the security
checkpoint.

“Don’t forget to text me when you land.”

“I won’t forget to text you.” She’d probably do nothing but think about him for the entire flight, so it wasn’t likely she wouldn’t be thinking about him when the plane touched down.

He put his hand on the back of her neck and kissed her gently. She sucked in a breath, trying to shove down the emotion, but tears blurred her vision.

“No tears,” he murmured against her lips. Then he pulled back and gave her a crooked grin. “No sad eyes.”

“I told you it would be harder for me to leave if you were here.”

“Good.” His hand fisted in her hair, tilting her head back so she looked into his eyes. “I want it to be hard for you to leave me because it’s sure as hell hard to let you go.”

“We were supposed to just enjoy
each other’s company until I got on the plane.”

“We did. We enjoyed each other’s company a lot, I guess.”

She sighed, letting herself imagine for a few crazy seconds what would happen if she just didn’t get on the plane. They’d go back to the house and after spending a few minutes with Marie and Joe, they’d go upstairs to Rick’s apartment. It was so tempting she almost opened her mouth
to tell him she wasn’t leaving.

But even if she took her father out of the equation, she had a life in San Diego. And responsibilities. She was supposed to be hosting the company Christmas party in two days for people who’d worked hard for her and her father for years and who’d helped make it possible for her to spend the past two weeks in Boston without any prior notice.

And, whether
he should be part of the equation or not, she had to consider her father. He was probably on shaky ground and the holidays were coming. If Marie could worry about him being alone after all he’d put her through, Jessica wasn’t going to beat herself up about doing the same.

“You have to go,” Rick said quietly, and she realized she’d been staring up at him, saying nothing.

As much as she
wanted to share her reluctance with him, it wouldn’t change anything and would only make it harder. “I’ll text you.”

He kissed her one more time and then ran his finger down her cheek. “Bye, Jess.”

“Bye,” she whispered as he turned and walked away.

She watched him until he disappeared from her sight, knowing by the set of his head and shoulders he wouldn’t look back. If he did,
he’d probably come back and want to kiss her again and she’d never leave.

Smiling, Jessica moved into the line and waited her turn for the security screeners. Once she was through, she’d buy a muffin and some fruit, and then open her laptop to work until it was time to board. Hopefully between the work waiting for her and the last-minute party details, she could distract herself long enough
to get on the plane without any more tears.

Hours later, her mind addled by the time zones and her heart heavy, Jessica unlocked the door to her condo and stepped into what had been her home for several years. With nobody to please but herself, it was decorated in a simple, classic style with warm colors and an eye for comfort over style. An end unit, it had a lot of light, a tandem garage
and access to a pool.

It felt empty now, but she knew that feeling would fade. This was her home and when she was in her favorite pajamas, curled up on the couch with a drink and a book, she’d remember everything she loved about this house and her life.

But right now, with the brief text exchanges to let Marie and Rick know she’d landed still fresh in her mind, all she could think about
was what she’d left behind in Boston.

* * *

Rick made it through most of Friday without taking anybody’s heads off their shoulders—although Gavin came close when he balked at doing some housekeeping—but he started getting restless as the sun went down.

He hadn’t slept well the night before because he’d been tossing and turning, thinking about Jess. He’d known he would miss her.
He hadn’t guessed just how much, though.

Rather than stare at the television screen or listen to whatever conversations the other guys were having, he went down one floor to the office space he shared with Danny Walsh and tried to catch up on some paperwork. But his mind kept wandering and finally he just rocked back in his chair and closed his eyes.

Jess hadn’t wanted to leave him.
He’d seen it in her eyes and felt it in the way she’d kissed him goodbye. Maybe she’d been caught up in the moment, though. Coming to Boston had been quite the emotional trip for her and maybe their relationship had gotten tangled up in that.

Back in San Diego, surrounded by her everyday life, maybe she felt differently. The intensity of her feelings—whatever they might be—would fade and
eventually so would the memories. She’d realize long-distance relationships seldom worked out. He didn’t like to think that, but this wasn’t his first rodeo and he knew it was a possibility.

Or maybe she was all the way on the other side of the country thinking about him. Maybe she was even wondering if he’d started moving on the minute she got on the plane. After a moment of hesitation,
he pulled out his cell phone.

Hey, you busy?

He waited for the dialogue bubble to pop up, letting him know she was typing a reply, but instead her name flashed on the caller ID as the phone vibrated in his hand. “Hello.”

“Hi. I figured since you sent a text, you must not be too busy to talk. You’re working, right?”

Just the sound of her voice soothed his ragged nerves and he
smiled for the first time that day. “I’m in the office pretending to do paperwork.”

“I’m in my office, too, but I’m pretending to read emails.”

“What are you really doing?”

He heard her small, breathless laugh. “Honestly? I’m staring out my huge window at San Diego, wishing I was still in Boston.”

“I wish you were still in Boston, too,” he confessed, feeling the tightness in
his chest ease. There was no cooling off in her voice—no sign she was ready to put some distance between them and move on.

“Why did my dad have to choose California? Why not Connecticut? Or New York, if he really wanted a city?”

He chuckled. “I don’t know but, even with the gas mileage in that truck of mine, I’d be driving to see you.”

There was silence for a few seconds and then
she sighed. “That would have been nice. Have you seen Joe and Marie since I left?”

“I saw them yesterday, and I talked to Joe on the phone today. They miss you, of course, but Marie’s telling everybody about the fancy phone her granddaughter bought her and showing off the pictures she already has stored on it.”

“I sent her a few I had on my phone, just so she’d have them. She wants me
to send her a picture of my father, too.”

“Will you?”

“I’ll ask him. I think he should, really, but I’m leaving it up to him. I can’t get in the middle of their relationship and start playing mediator. I have him and I have them. I hope they don’t always have to be separate, but I’m not sacrificing one for the other.”

“Good for you.” He was glad she seemed confident about balancing
those relationships. Especially since it was good for her to have Joe and Marie in her life. “How’s the party planning going?”

She told him all about it and while normally it wasn’t the kind of thing he cared about, he was content to listen to her talk. Because it was something she enjoyed, her voice was animated and he smiled as he listened to her.

Then, because it was just his luck,
the alarm sounded. She must have heard it because she paused in midsentence. “You have to go.”