Conviction (10 page)

Chapter 9 - Kelly

Kelly's body was stiff and she felt like she was covered in cotton wool as she roused herself from sleep. Pulling her mind through the fog that wanted to send her back in to a blissful sleep, she slowly came back to reality and froze. She was in his arms. She had stayed in his arms and let him hold her. Why was he still holding her? Shouldn't she get up now?

“Stay where you are, Kelly.” his voice was quiet but stern and she decided she didn't really want to find out what he would do this time if she denied his request. Kelly loosened her grip on his shirt when she realised that she no longer had any feeling left in her fingers. She slowly stretched her hand until the tell-tale tingling told her that she had blood flow again.

“You don't get to talk, do you understand me? Right now, you are going to listen. And if I have to repeat myself, for
any
reason, you will be put over my knee. Are you listening now, Kelly?”

“Yee...yes, Sir.” she replied quietly.

“You will stop running from me. You will stop trying to hide from these new emotions and feelings that you are dealing with. This is a highly stressful situation we are putting you in and you need to give yourself some credit for what you are doing. For yourself, for your daughter. You are fighting demons that nobody,
nobody
, should ever have to fight. Yes, I have expectations of you, but they are nothing that I don't think you are more than capable of.  It's only been one night, Kelly. In that time you have bravely bared your body to me. Yes, it was a command but you still made that final decision
yourself
to do it, for me and for yourself. You're looking at this whole situation wrong, don't look at it as repeating history, because I am
not
Devlin King and I will not hurt you for my own pleasure. Think of this as a reclaiming. A way to take back control of some of the things that he did to you that you had no control over. Now you do, Kelly. Don't you see? It is you that holds the control. You make the decisions on your behaviour, you make the decision on how you will react to what I am asking of you. Not me, not Master Xander and definitely not Devlin
fucking
King.”

Kelly sat stunned into silence as she took in what James had just said to her. Whilst his tone was low she could tell that she had hurt him, again. She knew she couldn't apologise, it made no difference to a man like James. She needed to
show
him that she had heard what he had said. That she understood everything he had just said.

Slowly she pulled out of his arms and took a step back from him. He looked at her with his clean facade, with no emotion on his face. She knew he'd slipped back into Dom mode.

Kelly closed her eyes before turning around and removing her shirt. Her jeans followed next followed by her socks, shoes and bra. Once she was naked she kicked her clothes to one side and knelt down on the cool floor. The chill making her nipples stand erect. It took everything in her not to hide her breasts from him, she desperately wanted to cover herself. Taking in a deep breath Kelly linked her arms behind her back and pushed her chest further out, her back was perfectly straight and she bowed her head slightly.

“Kelly, this...” she could hear the strain in his voice. Maybe she had managed to affect him the same way he had started to affect her. A week ago she would have been happy to go ten rounds in the ring with him, today, she wanted to crawl back into the safety of his arms. She hadn't felt that safe since she was little. “Kelly, today you have made me angry, insanely confused, aroused and proud. You have done well. You
can
do this. Just believe in yourself.”

“Yes, Sir, I'm trying. Thank you for understanding so well. Thank you for understanding
me
so well when I don't even understand myself.”

“You know yourself better than anyone else, the only problem I can see is that you haven't let anyone in for so long that you manage to block everyone out even when you don't mean to. Sometimes you have to watch from ringside to get a better idea on how to fight.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“One more thing, Kelly. Look at me, this is important." James paused to wait until Kelly's eyes met his. "I did
not
storm out yesterday because I don’t like your body. I stormed out because I wanted to hit something, beat the living shit out of Devlin fucking King. It was not your body that made me angry. Your body is beautiful, graceful and elegant. Your scars are part of that too, even if they hurt you to see. Your body shows me that you have overcome so much in your life already. Your body shows me that you are a fighter and you will fight to the death to protect yourself and those you love.” He paused for a moment to let his words sink in before changing the conversation completely as both their stomachs growled. “Come on, I'm starving and I cooked breakfast so now it’s your turn. Let's see how bad these cooking skills of yours are.”

“You don't seriously want me to cook for you? Naked? I can almost handle the naked part, but the cooking? I can't boil water without setting of the smoke detectors.”

“I'm sure it's not
that
bad, Precious.”

“Don't say I didn't warn you,” she bantered back, a small smile playing at the side of her mouth. “Sir.”

*     *     *

“I don't suppose I told you so would help right now, would it?” Kelly yelled over the blaring of the smoke alarms.

“Seriously, how did you even stuff
that
up? It's a grilled cheese and ham sandwich!”

“It's me and anything that revolves around cooking. I did warn you. You should have said yes to the plain ham, cheese and mayo sandwich.”

“I know, it would have been safer.”

“Hey!”

“I will always tell you what your strong points are, Kelly, and what you do to please me. I
am
pleased that you have shown me your lack of skill in the kitchen so that we can prevent another disaster before it happens. You are officially banned from cooking when I am not here. Ever. Even the microwave. No toaster either. No frypan. Nothing. You can eat your veggies raw if you don't want to wait for me.”

Kelly couldn't stifle her giggle and James followed soon after. As James pottered around the kitchen cleaning up her blackened attempt at lunch Kelly stood to the side watching. She realised that she had forgotten that she was naked, completely forgotten. Even when James had touched her waist and manoeuvred her out of the kitchen so nothing actually caught on fire she hadn't flinched. Maybe she was actually rebuilding herself after all.
It's only been one day, Kelly, baby steps
she reminded herself.

“Kelly?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“How about we head into town and grab something? I have to stop in at Momentum and pick up some paperwork and talk to Xander anyway, so we can just do both. Kai is there as well. Apparently he has given Master Xander a fair bit of grief about where his favourite little waitress is.”

“Awwww, I'm his favourite?”

“Come on, let’s pick you out something to wear that's suitable.”

“I could just put on the clothes that I was wearing earlier. I'm sorry, they are still on your lounge room floor.”

“You will have something else on, those clothes are from a part of today that both of us are moving on from and fresh clothes are just the beginning. Plus I need to air this place out while were are gone.”

“Sorry, Sir, about the smell, I could make you some air freshener when we get back if you like?”

“You can make air freshener?” James looked at her quizzically.

“Sure, when you're squirrelling away every cent you have, you learn to make do with what you have. There are plenty of tips and tricks on the internet on how to make your own cleaning, shower and bath products.”

James made her wait in the hallway while he picked out her clothes, when he came out he was carrying a small black carry bag and simply nodded his head towards the bedroom, giving her permission to go and get dressed.

Being naked around James was becoming easier for Kelly, mostly because she would forget that she was naked. She looked after herself physically, with all the running that she did combined with boxing she knew she wasn't overweight. It was her scars, the reminders of her past that left her feeling self-conscious. Now that James knew about her past and what Devlin had done to her body she knew she shouldn't feel so ashamed. But her years spent with Devlin had done more psychological damage then even James could comprehend.

When Kelly reached for the handle on the car, James stopped her, opened it for her and even clicked her into her seat belt.

“Seriously? I can click in my own seat belt you know.”

James looked down at her sitting angrily in the car with her arms crossed defensively across her chest and had to fight back a smile, instead he simply raised one eyebrow at her.

“Sorry…Sir.”

The drive into town was quiet, each of them off with their own thoughts. As they pulled up in the car park behind Momentum James turned off the engine and sat back in his seat.

“I need you to do something for me tonight. Something I’m sure you’re not going to like.”

“Okay…”

James slowly reached across her into the glove box and retrieved a square velvet box. He held it in his hands and turned so that he was facing her, Kelly almost laughed at how awkward the movement was for his tall frame if James wasn’t being so serious. Opening the box slowly he let her see the shiny silver object. Her eyes widened and he heard her sharp intake of breath.

“I want everyone in there to know that officially, you are mine. That means nobody,
nobody
can touch you without my direct permission, which, just so you know, they will
not
get.”

“You want to collar me?” Kelly whispered.

“Yes. For the duration of our contract. Think of it as a physical reminder of your submission to me. Sometimes subs feel their master’s ownership better when wearing a physical reminder of what they are giving.”

Kelly slowly reached out and touched the silver collar. Even to her it was beautiful. The silver was round and hard, about half a centimetre thick with two loops at each end. In the middle of the box sat a filigree lock and a key. Turning the lock over Kelly noticed the engraving.
Little One
.

“Master Xander and I chose this for you, he is just as much your Master as I am, if not more. But this is the name we decided on for you. I will still call you Precious and
sweetheart
when I choose though.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“You
like
it?” James asked flummoxed at her reaction.

“Even I can appreciate beauty when I see it, Sir. I understand the significance of the collar and why you feel the need for me to wear it. Will you put the lock on?” Kelly reached for the silver jewellery and held it around her neck.

“I would be honoured, Little One.” As he reached around her and fastened the lock he didn’t miss the small shiver that passed over her skin when he brushed his fingers over the back of Kelly's neck. Once the lock was in place he turned it so that the lock was in front on display and removed his fingers from her neck, despite his desire to linger.

“Thank you, Sir.”

“You’re welcome, Little One.” James put his hand on the side of Kelly’s face and held it there. She flinched slightly before closing her eyes and holding her breath, only taking in another breath when he moved his hand. It was a huge step for both of them and the moment deserved to be cherished. James quickly got out of the car and walked around to open her door. Surprised that she was still buckled into her seat. Without looking at him he knew what she was doing and he smiled at her composure and willingness. Reaching over her he unclicked her seat belt and held out his hand to her so that she could take it.

“Come on, let’s go get some food, I’m starving and I’m not a happy camper when I’m hungry.”

“Thanks for the heads up…Sir.”

The walked down the block a short distance from the club until James found a small Italian restaurant that he liked. It had been a while since he’d last been there but tonight he wanted to celebrate. He’d collared his first submissive since Carly, and while he knew that he and Kelly held different meanings behind it, for him it was still a reason to celebrate.

He couldn’t help but let a small smile quirk the edges of his mouth every time Kelly’s hand reached for her collar. He knew it would be weird for her at first, but he was hoping that the reminder of it would help her on this journey.

He opened the door to the dimly lit restaurant and placed a hand on the small of her back to guide her in, he didn’t miss the stiffening of her back at his touch, but at least she didn’t jump six foot from him or pull out another knife.

“Signor James!” A short, burly man with a curly moustache and red cheeks greeted James with a manly hug and pats on the back. James returned the man’s enthusiastic embrace with a warm smile.

“How are you, Emmanuelle? Still keeping that beautiful wife of yours chained to the kitchen?”

“Of course, Signor, away from the eyes of handsome young men like you! Not that she would fall for your wickedness of course! Come, come, let me get you a nice quiet table, I see you have someone very special with you.” Once again James guided Kelly with a hand on her back, this time when his hand had made contact she still stiffened but not to the same extent.