Count It All Joy (23 page)

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Authors: Ashea S. Goldson

BOOK: Count It All Joy
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Chapter Forty
Joshua
 
Three weeks had gone by already and Alex and I still weren't seeing eye to eye. I'd only spoken to her twice, and every time I tried to talk some sense into her, she'd just shoot me down with that same old stuff. I decided to show her better than tell her. I was tired of these women trying to control me. First there was Delilah, then Mother, and now Alex. Since I couldn't continue to impose on Brother Jameson and his family, I rented a room at an extended stay hotel uptown. I hoped this separation wouldn't be for much longer because it was costing me every dime I had. Furthermore, I missed everything about my wife, everything except how she wouldn't listen to me. I sighed as I made up my own bed, straightened my own tie, and poured my own tea. I had to work things out with her soon because this single life, for me, was getting played.
I was tired of going to bed alone, waking up alone, and eating alone. On Sundays and Wednesdays, I'd attend Kingdom House of Prayer Church with my parents, which they were excited about, but I refused to move in with them. Every day I'd go to work and try to forget my marriage was such a mess while Lilah stayed at my parents' house. She whined about not seeing me every day and wanted to know when she could go home. I felt guilty about that too, but I didn't have any answers for her. I didn't have any answers for myself except that I needed God's intervention soon.
I couldn't get Seger off my mind, couldn't stop thinking about his hands on my woman that day at the hospital, and then showing up at my home, not to mention the gym. I knew it was supposed to be innocent, but still, that man did something to me. I didn't know what it was; maybe just the fact that he was close—too close—to my wife. Probably just that. It was like the brother had no respect.
I wasn't jealous. I mean, I didn't hate the brother. I just wanted him to stay away from my family, Kiano included. I didn't want him to touch anything that was mine. I certainly wasn't happy with him working with her at Missionary. With that Seger snake on the prowl, the missing money at the bank, and my father's health slipping away, I didn't know what to do. I was losing time fast. I prayed for God's immediate intervention.
As soon as I arrived at work that morning, I saw two policemen leaving the bank. I wondered what was going on as I pulled into the parking lot. Minutes later, I was in the building and staring face-to-face with Simon.
“What's going on around here?” I asked, walking past a few of my colleagues.
Simon didn't answer but signaled me to come into his office. Then he closed the door behind him. He was sweating profusely. “One hundred and eighty thousand dollars was reported missing this morning.”
I froze in my footsteps. Every alarm on the inside of me went off, reminding me of the messed-up numbers, reminding me of the warning signs. “Missing?”
“Yes, I'm sorry, but the heat is coming down on me.” Simon couldn't even look into my eyes.
“What happened?”
“I'm sorry, but I can't talk about this anymore.” He turned his head away from me.
“You can't talk to me?”
“Listen, the heat is coming down on the bank. Unfortunately, all the evidence in this case is pointing to
you
, so I have to let you go.”
“
What?
Pointing to me?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
“Soon, the feds will be all over this place.” Simon shook his head.
I stood near him rubbing my temples. “But you know me.”
“I'm sorry, man.”
“You're
sorry?
That's
all
you can say?”
He shook his head. “Look, I don't know. I just don't know.”
“You don't know? What are you saying? We've been working together for ten years.
You know I've dedicated myself to this bank. I would never steal from here.” I turned to pound my fist on the desk. “In fact, I helped
build
this company.”
“I don't know, Josh.” He nervously ran his fingers through his thinning, gray hair. “Maybe that's why you felt entitled to the money.”
I squinted my eyes as I began to process the nightmare that was taking place. “Are you crazy? Why would I risk my whole career and reputation?”
“You told me not that long ago that you've got a lot of debts and—”
“I told you that, hoping you'd give me the raise you'd been promising me.”
“That doesn't change the situation.”
“What do my debts have to do with this situation?” I resisted the urge to grab him by the collar. “I'm not a thief. You know me.”
“I don't know anything anymore.”
“What do you mean you don't know anything anymore?” I listened but I was hesitant to react. It took everything in me not to pin that guy up against the wall. After all, he was fooling around with my whole life, and then some.
“All I know is that almost two hundred thousand dollars is gone and that the only one who had access to that account information is you,” he stuttered.
“And you.” I swallowed hard and walked toward the door. At this point, I was so upset I was holding back tears.
“Yes, and me, but why would I steal from my own bank?”
I opened the door. “That's what I'm asking myself. I told you money was missing, and you told me not to worry about it, that you'd take care of it.”
“That was just a little money you told me about, Josh. A mere couple thousand, and I did straighten that out. Just a glitch in the computer programming, that's all.” Simon swallowed hard. “But
this
, this is big.”
“It's big, but I didn't do it,” I said.
“I'm sorry, Josh. I know you've been strapped for cash with the new baby coming and everything—”
“That's true, and I told you those things in confidence. Now you're gonna use it against me.” I swung into the air with my fist. “Man, I was such a fool.”
Simon loosened his tie and collar. “Joshua, this thing is bigger than both of us.”
“I can see that.” I looked him up and down with a blank stare.
“Everything will come out. Don't worry.”
I put my hands over my head in disbelief. “Ha. You're telling
me
not to worry?”
“I've still got your back, but I'm going to need you to leave now. Please.” He rushed over to the door and opened it.
I still couldn't believe what was happening to me. First, I had lost my wife, and now I had lost my job. And the way things were looking, I could possibly lose my freedom.
I went to my office and began to pack.
God, please help me.
Imagine a minister caught in the middle of a big banking scandal. It just looked bad, really bad. To make matters worse, as it turned out, there were already reporters outside covering a special interest story on crime in the urban community. They had informed us the day before that they would be interviewing the owners of the boutique next door since it had recently been robbed. Unfortunately, when they saw the police snooping around the bank, the reporters started an investigation of their own. As I was walking through the door with boxes of my personal belongings, they turned their news cameras on me. One of the reporters actually recognized me from a news story she had done on my father's church last year. She put the camera right up in my face.
“Mr. Joshua Benning, son of the prominent Bishop Joshua Douglas Benning II, I see that you're leaving this bank with a box of your belongings. Does that mean that you've been implicated in this embezzlement case?” the young reporter grinned.
My heart sank. “No, I have not been charged with anything. I am completely innocent.”
The reporter pushed the microphone in my face. “Really? Why, may I ask, are you the only one leaving then, sir?”
Some people who had been busily walking by stopped to listen, and a crowd began to form around us.
“I have no comment,” I said as I pushed past her camera.
Then as if things weren't bad enough, a very sultry-looking, like she just fell out of the nightclub, Yvonne showed up out of nowhere and hugged me. “Joshua.”
I didn't need that kind of help. What in the world made her do a dumb thing like that?
Those evil cameras caught her every move, her every curve, and they were sure to get a close-up shot of me and Yvonne cheek to cheek.
The reporter was in her glory. “Miss, are you aware of the embezzlement that's being investigated at this bank?”
Yvonne looked surprised by her question. “No, but I can say that Minister Joshua here is an upstanding citizen, always lending a hand to everyone at the church.”
Yvonne made me sound guilty before I'd even been officially accused of anything. She was always interfering in other people's business, just like her busybody aunt, Sister Winifred.
Man, with her newly bleached hair, painted face, and spandex jumpsuit, I just knew I was doomed in the media. I was also doomed with my wife. What in the world would she say when she saw me on the six o'clock news with Yvonne Johnson?
The reporter continued. “Well, it appears that crime is running wild in this community.
First a string of robberies, and now embezzlement. We'll keep you posted on the outcome ...”
I stopped listening as I walked to the parking lot.
My reputation was ruined. There was no way I'd be able to get any followers for my future church with that photo spread that would certainly follow me.
I tried to call Alex immediately. There was no answer. I was in such a jam. All I could do was bury my face in my hands and pray for divine intervention and mercy.
My phone rang, and I grabbed it, hoping it was Alex.
“Hello,” I said.
“Joshua.”
I recognized the voice right away.
Mother cleared her throat before she spoke again. “Why in heaven's name have you decided to disgrace your entire family by appearing on television with that strumpet of a woman?”
That was the beginning of the end of life as I knew it.
Chapter Forty-one
Alex
 
Imagine my surprise when I turned on the news and caught a glimpse of the man I married, the father of Lilah and my unborn child, fired, possibly accused of embezzlement, and on the arm of that Jezebel of a woman. That was it for me. Joshua had left me several voice messages when I was in the shower, but by the time I called him back he didn't answer. His messages all said the same thing; that he was innocent, that Simon had let him go, and that he would probably be on the news because some nosy reporters just happened to be outside the bank while the police were there. Police? Probably on the news? I was in shock. The phone was ringing off the hook. My dad, Taylor, Aunt Dorothy, and Marisol were all calling back-to-back. I couldn't believe that one local news segment would attract this much attention. When would it all end? I didn't feel like talking to any of them. I didn't want to answer questions or hear their brilliant speculations. I just wanted silence, the kind that came with peace. Unfortunately, I didn't know when that kind of silence would come.
The next day, after seeing the latest headline of the local newspaper—and believe me, it was ugly—I didn't know if I was coming or going. I did know that I had to meet my dad in an hour. I had covered for Joshua long enough. It had already been three-and-a-half weeks since he'd left and no reconciliation was in sight. I had to let my dad know that Joshua had taken Lilah to his mother's house and had left me and my unborn child to fend for ourselves. Sure, he had left money for incidentals, but that wasn't enough to soothe my wounded soul. I was broken and crying out to God for answers. I tried to reach Joshua on his cell, but he wouldn't answer. I left him messages, but he wouldn't return my calls. Okay, so we were playing phone tag.
 
Eventually, I snapped out of it and decided not to keep sulking. That didn't mean that I didn't think about my husband, that I didn't miss his touch, his kiss, everything about him, even the things I thought I wouldn't miss. Sometimes I'd take a suit out of his closet and hold it close to me if it still had his scent on it. Then I would pray for him, asking God to strengthen him during this trial.
Between the media and my own mind, I had my fill of Joshua Benning. Still I waited for him to come by, but he did not. I waited for him to call, but he did not. I waited and watched the news, wondering if he would be officially accused, then arrested, indicted, and imprisoned. Then I realized I was letting my imagination run away with me. All I knew was that money had been stolen and that he had been fired.
Why wouldn't he come to see me? I was so angry with him I didn't know what I'd say if he did call now. I wanted to strangle him for allowing Yvonne to hop in front of the camera. Had he invited her to the bank? Had he called her down there for help? Or was she just passing by? I was so confused. It wasn't that I was jealous of Yvonne anymore. Call it confidence or insanity, but I didn't doubt that Joshua had nothing to do with her. I wasn't going to make a fool out of myself because I had definitely gone down that road before. Yet, at the same time, with Joshua being a public figure, I knew it didn't look good for him. In the church arena, reputation was everything.
I wondered why he hadn't turned to me for help. Didn't he know I was hurting for him?
It was so frustrating, playing these cat-and-mouse games. Why had he pushed me out of his life, and then virtually disappeared, at least from me? Then I began to rebel against my own heart. If Joshua wouldn't come to me, then I'd go on without him. I decided that I would make it on my own. I always had before.
And indeed I had. I had been single for over thirty years. I had roomed with my sister, paid my own rent and bills, and managed my own relationships. What made him think he owned me and could control every part of me?
Seger stopped by unannounced again. Hadn't I told him to stay away while I work things out? I see that he was not one to take no for an answer.
“Hi, Seger.” I involuntarily let out a big breath.
“How are you, Sister Alex?”
“I'm sure you've seen the news so ...”
“Yes, and I'm sorry.” He shook his head. “It's very unfortunate.”
“He didn't do it, of course, but it looks like he did, so that's bad enough, I guess.”
“Yeah, it looks bad. How have you two been holding up under the pressure?”
I almost wondered if he already knew we had been separated. “Well, we've been separated for almost a month now.”
“I see.” Seger sat down on the couch. “I know you asked me to give you some space, but I only came by to ask about Kiano.”
“I don't know. We were believing for a miracle, but now that we're separated and this scandal—”
“What has one thing got to do with the other? Kiano's village is being destroyed. Those children need parents—now.”
That was the Seger I knew, the peaceful, world-changing missionary and activist, bringing the Word, aid, and revolution to the masses.
“I know, but it's really complicated, and I don't want to talk about it.”
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry.”
“I just don't think it's appropriate to disclose all of this personal information to you.”
“You're right. I might use it to my best interest,” he laughed.
I smiled. “Yeah, something like that, I guess.”
Suddenly Seger looked very serious. There was no smile in his eyes, only sadness. “I'm still willing to fund the adoption if you decide you want help.”
“That's very generous,” I said.
“It's the least I can do.” Seger stood over me and pushed my chin up with his index finger. “I care about Kiano's well-being and yours.”
“I know you do.”
He looked into my eyes. “You're in my heart, Alex.” “Well, I'm getting a little tired, and I need to rest.” I took a step back. I needed time to think. I couldn't just let my emotions dictate my actions. Even though I loved Kiano, even though I was afraid for his safety, I had to be calm. I had to pray.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overstay my welcome.” He turned his back to me and walked toward the door.
I shook my head. “No, it's nothing like that.”
“Take care of yourself now.” Seger quickly let himself out.
Now that he was gone, I began to give serious consideration to accepting his offer. I started to think that if by some extreme chance Joshua and I found our way back to each other, he would thank me for it later. I'd accept Seger's offer to help with Kiano's adoption costs. After all, what did Joshua's opinion matter when we were clearly separated, with little hope of reconciling? And besides, Joshua's whole ministry was on the line. Would he really have time to focus on being mad with me about Seger? Not when he and Yvonne were on the front cover of the local newspaper with the headline reading, “B
ISHOP'S
S
ON
F
IRED
D
URING
B
ANK
I
NVESTIGATION
.”
On the social networks, people were asking, “Did Prominent Bishop Benning's Son Flee with More than the Offering Plate?” The gossip that spun from that one report was terrible, and my phone kept ringing. But the worst part was that I couldn't even talk to Joshua. I had left several messages for him, and he still hadn't returned my calls. That's when I really got mad and gave up on trying to please him. I was tired of trying to make things work while all the time he did his own thing. I was tired of feeling like an outsider in my own relationship. I was tired of being alone, doing everything alone. If I needed to call Seger for help, I would.

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