Crave (20 page)

“I’m fine. These things happen. Thanks for asking.”

“I miss seeing you. Um, want to have coffee or something?” And there it is. It’s not like I didn’t know this was coming.

“That’s sweet of you to ask. But I’m not ready for another relationship. I’m sorry.” Ugh. Hugging him, I catch Jason watching. “I’m glad I get to work with you this winter. I’m going to go find Megan.”

Stepping on the deck, Heather is the first friend I see. “Do you know where Megan is?”

“I think she and Nick left a few minutes ago. You know how they are. They had that look.”

I snort. “Oh, yes, the look.” It might be time for me to head home too. I’ve done enough damage for one night. “Hey, it was great meeting you. I hear you’re going to be the kid’s director now. Congratulations.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you Monday for training.” She leaves me standing alone.

I scan the crowd and see Jason talking to Jess. Yeah, it’s time for me to leave. I can’t watch that.

The sound of the party fades away as I head to my car. Welcoming the quiet, I’m distracted by a shooting star. My knee-jerk reaction is to wish for the family with children. But I don’t. Instead, I wish to figure out why I can’t get over Jason. I’m tired of hurting him. He deserves so much better.

Chapter 46

Monday morning I arrive at the Peak 8 locker room five minutes early. I didn’t recognize any cars in the parking lot and am nervous. Today is only the newbies, and I don’t know any of them well. Tightly-woven carpet is firm under my feet as I approach a hall. There are offices on the right wall and rows of blue lockers on the left. Past all that are wooden racks for skis and snowboards with a door at the end. Lemon, with a hint of bleach, taints the air. Passing Matt, the adult supervisor, and Heather chatting in an office on the right, I continue on to a sitting area with two tables. There’s a familiar face at one. I met him at the party, but can’t remember his name.

“Hi, I’m Casey.”

“Bill. Have a seat. This is where we’re starting.” His slight southern accent matches his clean-cut look and warm brown eyes. I recall the oxford shirt and pressed jeans he wore to the party and Megan mentioning he probably folds his clothes before sex. I smile, and think I don’t want to know. My bag of gear clunks as I set it down, and I store my skis on the rack next to his. “Where are you coming from?”

“Snowshoe Mountain in West Virginia. I taught there for a few years. You?”

“Killington, Vermont. I moved out here the middle of last winter. This is my first year teaching.” A guy with a wild mop of auburn hair has just arrived.

“Hey, I’m Casey and this is Bill.” I nod toward Bill.

“Hey.” He says nothing more. His eyes are puffy and he looks hungover. Okay.

Within minutes there are six people sitting at the table. I look up when I hear Matt and Heather approach and notice Jason behind them. My heart skips a beat. Warmth spreads in my chest, and my butterflies disappear. His eyes light up as he nods at me.

After introductions, Heather hands us each a mountain of paperwork. She tells us we’ll be hitting the slopes at nine and to find an empty locker.

Stacked in twos, I determine I need a bottom locker so I can reach it easily. I turn down an aisle when I see Jason has picked a locker. I pick the closest bottom locker near him. Bill picks one in this row, too.

Bill is a chatty sort. “So, did you guys know each other in Vermont?” You could say that.

Jason glances at me and I see mischief in his eyes. I answer quickly. “Yeah. Wait till you see him ski. He’s amazing.” Uh-oh. That was probably not the right thing to say to another guy. I can almost smell the testosterone surge.

“Cool. I’m good, too. I was the best at my mountain.” He organizes his things on the bench neatly. I do appreciate another clean freak, but he may take it a little further than I do. He wipes down his locker with a bleach wipe.

Jason tilts his head toward Bill. He raises his eyebrows, and I have to drop my eyes to keep from laughing. Instead, I focus on unpacking my stuff. Part of me is tempted to ask for a wipe. Sniffing, I realize I’m okay, so I refrain.

There is nothing quite like the sensation of putting on ski boots the first day of the season. Scraping my feet down into the stiff plastic, my toes tingle at the tightness. I buckle the boots on the loosest setting. Fortunately, by lunchtime my feet will have acclimated.

Jason waits and watches Bill shake powder into his boots. I prepare myself. No way can Jason let this slide. “Do you vacuum that out at the end of the day?” I can see the twinkle in Jason’s eye.

“No, I just shake it out.” Bill looks over at him the way a dog does when they have no idea what it is you want.

“Ah, because I thought you might have a little sucker thing in that locker. Shaking it out seems so. Dirty.” His face is serious and I’m dying.

Before I start laughing, I grab my gear and walk between them. “See you two outside.” Jason follows. Clomping so fast my feet hurt, I try to escape before my shaking body gives me away.

The moment we exit the back door, I burst out in giggles. “You’re awful!”

“Seriously, Casey? That is some funny shit right there.” He’s bent over in a laugh now.

“Be nice. He seems like a good guy.” I’m sure he is. I just wonder if he is up for the teasing. He’ll probably hate people from Vermont before the season is over.

Once we’re all gathered outside, Heather leads us to the chair. She tells Lori and me to ride with her. The chair seats four, but I get the impression Heather has female bonding in mind.

“Ladies, we’re all going to become good friends.” Heather says. “There are seventy-five instructors in the locker room, and only ten of us are women. I won’t tolerate mean girls, so don’t go there. We always have each other’s back. Skiing and snowboarding is still a man’s world in many ways, and the best way to survive and be treated equally is if we stand united. We shovel stairs with them, go out in the worst weather, and do everything the guys do. Got it?”

Lori and I reply in unison. “Got it.” She leans back and looks at Lori. “Nice shade of lipstick.” I already love Heather.

Lori is a petite girl with the beautiful, flawless skin I envy. She came from New Hampshire. I can tell she’s nervous. Her gear looks to be on the recreational side, and I wonder how good a skier she is. Matt hired her for a reason, and I’m behind her no matter what. I wonder if Jess is on Peak 8. She might be a little harder to get behind.

“Heather, who are the other women on Peak 8? I know one is Megan.”

She reels off the list and it includes Jess. Time to find my tolerance.

At the top, we group together. Heather talks about the dos and don’ts of lifts with students. She tells us the first week will be plenty of on-snow training.

“This morning we’re going to work on each other’s skiing. It’s a great way for me to teach you how to spot problems and what to do to fix them. Let’s go.” Heather leads us over to a groomed smooth trail. There’s a steep pitch that levels out at the bottom. “I’ll ski down a bit and stop. One at a time, come down and stop below me.”

I watch her make a series of perfect turns and stop where it levels out. Lori calls out, “I’m not going first.” Because I hate to wait and know it will just make me more nervous, I offer, “I will.” and take off. Blaine’s voice is in my head, and I remember to keep my weight over my arches. I hear the sound of scraping, and my turns are precise.

“Nice, Casey. Those were controlled and well-balanced. Blaine did good work with you.” I send Blaine a thank-you from my heart.

Jason comes down right after me. He’s a beautiful skier. “Jason, nice turns, but a little too fast for teaching. Next time, I want to see more control.” He nods.

Heather turns her attention to Rob. “I want you both to watch what he’s doing and tell me what you see.” Rob gains speed with each turn. His hands are down by his hips, and I guess he’s on his heels.

Jason says, “His hands should be out in front.”

“Right.” Heather keeps her eyes on Rob while speaking. “Do you know why?”

I answer. “Because when the hands drop, you lean back on your heels. You don’t have control of the front of your skis and can’t start the next turn effectively.”

“Exactly.” Heather tells Rob what was said while she watches Lori make her way down. Heather asks Rob to analyze.

“She’s scared.”

Her turns are far from pretty, but I don’t see scared. Lori has a look of determination.

“Maybe. But I think she’s okay. This trail is too hard for her. She uses a lot of real estate to get across the trail to slow down. Because she doesn’t have edge control, her turns speed her up on steeps. You never want to put a student in this situation. They should always be comfortable with the terrain so they can try new things.”

Lori has reached us. Heather speaks in a kind voice. “Lori, I know that was hard for you. But you’ve got what it takes to be a great skier. Stick with us, and you’ll be crushing that in March.” Lori beams and I give her a fist bump.

Alex and Mark come down, leaving only Bill. I know Jason is as curious as I am to see what he can do. Bill takes off and makes two turns total down the whole pitch. He flies and stops below us with a big smile. Heather shakes her head. “Bill, I don’t know what they teach in Virginia, but here we teach turns and not testosterone moments.” Ouch. Speed isn’t his only problem. From the two turns I saw, he’s about to spend the day being schooled.

Chapter 47

Today is the first day with a full staff. The locker room bustles with excited energy. I persuaded Lori to take the locker next to me, and she’s braiding her shiny black hair. She’s full of determination and super nice. We’ll have fun together.

Nick and Megan are the next row over, and I can hear their voices. “Lori, come meet Nick and Megan.” My toes feel the chill of concrete below carpet as we stride over.

“Hey, guys, this is Lori. She wasn’t at the party, and I wanted her to meet you.” They both give her a “hey.” I notice Kaleb at the far end of the row staring.

Megan says, “How was training?” There’s silence and I look at Lori. She looks at Kaleb and doesn’t answer.

Okay, this is strange. “Do you know him?”

She breaks eye contact, glances at me, and says, “No.” She wanders back to our row.

I look at Nick and Megan and mouth, “What was that?”

Seconds later we hear Kaleb yell, “Son of a bitch!”

There’s laughter and someone says, “Dude, there’s a door on the men’s room.”

Megan whispers, “Whoa. I think we just witnessed love at first sight.”

***

A low rumble of ski boots begins as people grab equipment from the racks and exit the back door. A long set of metal steps lead up to the base of Peak 8. Ski boots squeak over snow as we walk toward the lesson meeting area. It’s cold, but without wind. The sun shining adds to the atmosphere of the group, which is all about fun. The kid’s instructors have their own system and keep walking to the castle, which is a separate building.

Adult ski school has a lineup. We literally line up shoulder to shoulder. The supervisor pulls instructors out of the line and assigns them to a level of experience. Level signs designate areas for classes to meet. On Peak 8 the upper levels are up at the mid station where the tougher terrain is located. Today, we’re all at the base because most of the mountain doesn’t have enough snow. Laughter and shouts mark the low roar of talk; it’s a rowdy bunch.

Matt, our supervisor, walks over and faces us. Voices fade. “Welcome back, everyone. I want to introduce the new adult instructors.” He has the newbies slide forward a bit. “Please make them feel welcome. But not the way Kaleb does. I know the new girls are pretty, but try to focus.” Laughter erupts. Poor Kaleb.

He explains a few things that have changed this year and pulls a couple of the most experienced instructors out to teach. He then breaks the rest of us up into groups for training.

***

A shout punches through the rumble of the locker room, and a balled-up sock flies over my head. The end of our first official day and there’s a plan to go celebrate. I’ve decided to play cupid and am in Kaleb’s row. “Hey, Kaleb. Lori and I are going to the Gold Pan with everyone. Are you?”

“I wish, but I have to work at the shop.” He laces up his hiking boots, and I think he might pout.

The bench is hard under my thighs as I sit. “Hmmm. Well, maybe we need to teach Lori about the benefits of custom boot inserts? She’s never had any, and it’s going to be a long, painful winter for her feet if she doesn’t.” I watch a goofy smile cover his face. “Don’t you think?”

“Definitely.”

“Good. I’ll bring her by after the bar.” I stand. “Nice bruise on your forehead.” He touches it and blushes. So cute.

Lori’s ready when I return to my row, and I see Bill do his organization thing. “Bill, you going to the Gold Pan?”

“I’ll be there. Just need to get a few more things done.”

“See you there.” Lori says as she flashes a brilliant smile. I see why Kaleb was so dazed.

Heather locks her office as we walk by. “Heather, are you going to the bar?”

“I am.”

The cool air and quiet welcomes the three of us as we get out the door.

I pull up my hood, muffling sound even further. “So tell me how you ended up here from Australia. I hear the accent, but it sounds like you’ve been here a while.”

Heather pulls on a wool hat. “I came here almost ten years ago. I was searching for Mr. Right.”

Lori asks, “Did you find him?”

Heather shakes her head. “Nope, I’m still single. Turns out Mr. Right is the one I left at home. I was so hell-bent on having a family, that I never realized there’s no guarantee. Ten years later I have no family, and the love of my life is married to someone else. The kicker? He ended up having kids after all.” Wow.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Lori has concern in her voice.

“No worries. I love my life. It’s just not what I thought it would be. Now I just hope to find someone I can love forever. He’s out there.” Heather is upbeat, and it makes me hope I would know how to make the best of things.

We leave Heather at her Jeep. A few spots down, Lori moves toward a teal Toyota. “Is that your truck with the New Hampshire plates?” I’m surprised.

She pulls open the door and steps up on the running board to get in. “Yup. Bet you didn’t know I was a hick.”

I snort. “You had me fooled. I expected something more girly.”

“Oh, I drive it with heels.” She grins. “Meet you there.” She slams her door with more strength than her tiny body should.

At my car I slide the key in to turn the lock. There are no guarantees in life. Isn’t that the truth? I open the door and glide onto the cold leather. Imagine knowing you left the love of your life for nothing. The engine roars and I sit for a minute, waiting for it to warm up. Is that what I’ve been doing? I love Jason so much it hurts. What on earth is my problem? Why aren’t I with him? I snort at myself. Because I’m an idiot, that’s why. I know what I have to do.