Crave the Darkness (12 page)

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Authors: Amanda Bonilla

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Fantasy

BOOK: Crave the Darkness
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My god, when had the air become so stifling?

“Strong.”

His lush, velvety voice seemed to brush against every nerve ending and I shuddered.

“Intelligent and intriguing.”

I’d heard these compliments before from Xander, but never with such sincerity behind them. I didn’t know what to think. How to feel. Xander reached out to capture a few errant strands of my hair floating on the breeze and smoothed them behind my ear.

“I fall asleep every night wanting you. I wake every morning wanting you. I’m tortured by your nearness, yet if you were to leave, I don’t think I could stand it.”

I took a deep breath, exhaled sharply.
Snap out of it! This is Xander
, I reminded myself.
Master manipulator and shit talker extraordinaire
. He’d like nothing more than to parade me half-naked in front of Tyler so he could be seven different kinds of smug about stealing me away from him. I wondered what Xander would think if he knew by getting his hands on me, he’d be getting nothing but Ty’s castoffs. I couldn’t trust anything he said. And still . . . how could I deny the truth reflected in his eyes?

“Xander.” My mouth was almost too dry to speak. “You just want what you can’t have. Your sense of entitlement is going to get you into trouble someday.”

He placed his hands at my waist. The heat from his touch seeped through my clothes, pulsing. Or was that the blood pounding in my veins?

“Oh, it already has.” Xander’s head bent to mine, his mouth hovering, but not yet touching. “But believe me, it’s worth the trouble every time. I
always
get what I want,” he whispered before closing the distance between us completely.

But belieth="1em">
His body pressed against mine and his hands moved from my waist, wrapping around me and settling at the small of my back. I didn’t pull away, though I knew I should. He held me close, and as if I had no self-control, I leaned into him, letting the moment sweep me away from the crippling pain of the past several months. His mouth slanted against mine, one hand caressing slowly up my back, and I responded by arching against him and letting the moment progress. Xander’s tongue slid across my lips, tasting, searching, and greedy for more.

Common sense tugged at the edge of my brain, a microscopic germ of sanity threatening to infect the moment. I pushed it away. Ty had found someone new to love and left me alone and empty. He hadn’t even warned me that he’d brought his lover home with him. Instead, he’d let me humiliate myself by coming face-to-face with her right at his front door. But I didn’t want to make Tyler pay. If anything, I was the one who’d deserved the payback. This wasn’t about hurting him for what had happened between us, but rather, my desire to be wanted. Needed. Loved by someone with all of his heart and soul. An erotic purr escaped his throat as Xander’s fingers threaded through my hair, and I lost myself to the moment. Chills raced over my scalp and across my flesh all at once, cold and then infusing me with a liquid heat that chased a path from my stomach straight to my core.

Xander pulled away, his lips dipping to my throat, up my neck, settling near my ear. He nuzzled against me, burying his face in my hair and breathing in deep. “You smell like spring,” he murmured, his words hoarse with desire. “And you taste like oranges and cinnamon.” His mouth latched on to the skin below my earlobe, his teeth grazed my flesh and I shuddered. He leaned back to look at me, one regal brow arched sardonically. “Are you cold?”

Are you kidding?
My blood was on fire. “No,” I said, my voice a little breathy. “Just the opposite.”

The smile that dawned on his face was pure victory. His stance widened, and he pulled me so close I had no other choice but to place my palms against his chest. I felt his muscles flex beneath my fingers, and I allowed myself a little liberty, traveling upward and caressing back down to the flat expanse at the outer ridges of his stomach. I thought about going lower, but that damned shred of common sense stayed my hands.

Xander licked his lips, and my eyes locked on to his mouth. I felt the urge to take my finger and trace the soft curves. A low growl reverberated in his chest, rumbling against my skin, and my own lips quirked at the corners. It was nice to feel wanted. Desired. Even if it was in the name of petty jealousy. I was probably setting myself up for a crash and burn later, but right now, I
needed
this.

I leaned up on my tiptoes, wrapping my arms around Xander’s neck. His hair brushed my knuckles, and I reached out to tease the silky-soft strands. Xander’s breath caressed my face, quick little bursts of air. I knew how he felt; my own chest rose and fell like I’d run a few miles without stopping. His lips brushed my forehead, my temple, high on my cheekbone. My eyes drifted shut as I reveled in the feel of his mouth on my skin. I allowed my head to relax, tip back, and Xander, always the opportunist, seized the moment to taste the flesh at the hollow of my throat.

The ringtone I reserved solely for Raif, Darth Vader’s theme music, interrupted the quiet of the night. Xander muttered a curse against my skin. “Ignore it,” he said before placing another kiss at my throat.

“It’s Raif,” I said.

He placed a quick kiss on my lips. “Then definitely ignore it.”

I fished my phone out of my pocket, wondering if Raif’s call had been shitty timing or divine intervention. I touched the screen and put the receiver to my ear. “I didn’t run away,” I said, already on the defensive.

“Oh, you ran away.” I could only imagine Raif’s disgusted expression. “Just not alone. You need to debrief your team. And me.”

Xander grabbed my free hand, placing lazy little kisses on my palm. His gaze didn’t waver, locked on mine, dancing with mischievous light. I wondered if he could sense the tiny tremors jolting me from my head to my toes. He flipped my hand over, kissed each of my knuckles, pausing as his tongue flicked out at my index finger before he took it into his mouth and sucked . . .

Oh—my—god.

“Raif.” I cleared my throat, afraid I might moan right into his ear. “Can we do this in the morning?”

“I expect you in twenty minutes,” he said with reproach. “And tell my brother he’d better have been a gentleman tonight.”

“Busted,” I said, tucking the phone back in my pocket. I knew Xander heard everything Raif had said. A moment of forgetting, of building passion and fire, was now little more than cool awkwardness.
Damn it
. I took a step back, as much to clear my head as anything.

“Stay,” Xander said, pulling me back to him. “Stay here with me.”

The way his hand warmed mine, the raw desire in his eyes, almost convinced me to do just that. “I have a responsibility to Raif,” I said. “I have to go back.”

Xander sighed, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he pulled me closer and kissed me. Just once. Slow. My toes nearly curled in
my boots.

“Let’s get you back.” He let go of my hand and became one with the shadows. “Don’t want you looking unprofessional. It reflects badly on me.”

I smiled. Leave it to Xander to first and foremost be the king. Shedding my corporeal form, I chased after him through the city toward Capitol Hill. But somewhere, buried deep under Xander’s offered revenge, a dull, ceaseless pain remained.

Chapter 12

 

“L
et’s start with what we know.”

I paced back and forth in front of the long table in the king’s council room, virtually ignoring whatever it was Raif was saying as I forced the memory of Xander’s kisses to the back of my mind. Had I made a huge mistake? How could I have let things go so far?
Shit
. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d played right into Xander’s hands, letting him bait me over and over. When was I going to learn?

“. . . which is why I didn’t stop. My earpiece must have malfunctioned.”

I looked up at Myles, drawn back to the conversation by his statement, and pinned him with an accusing glare. He’d heard me call him off that man. He’d just
chosen
to experience temporary hearing loss.

“We’ll deal with
that
later.” Raif’s tone could have cooled lava to stone in a second flat. “Are you sure the humans were under the influence of magic?”

I’d bitten my thumbnail down to the quick. Tyler’s ring glinted in the light, taunting me with its presence. “They were being compelled. I know the look. None of them were aware of what they were doing. The blond is our mark. And he knows Anya—personally.”

“No one else saw him?” Raif eyeballed each member of my team, his gaze lingering a little longer on Asher.

“I didn’t get out of the car.” Louella sounded a bit put out. “After Julian and Myles took care of the gunmen, we headed straight back. Darian’s orders.”

Raif looked to me and I nodded, confirming what she’d said.

“And where were you, Asher?”

The kid sat up a little straighter in his seat, but his face never lost its guarded expression. “I returned on foot.”

Raif stared him down, the silence becoming thick and heavy in the air. Julian cleared his throat, drummed his fingers on the polished tabletop. Asher gave Raif look for look. And damn it, I almost admired the kid for it.

“I sent him back.” Someone had to break the standoff; might as well be me. “Anya was the priority, not me. Once the humans were no longer a threat, I told the team to make sure Anya was safe.”

Raif focused his hawkish gaze on me and I rolled my eyes.
Really, Raif?
He was wasting his time. I wasn’t about to rat anyone out. Not even Asher. Besides, I planned on finding out what he was up to myself.

“So, getting back to
business
,” I said, taking yet another lap around the room. “What do we know?” Silence answered and I continued, “Obviously our guy has a bead on Anya. He’s watching the house, or at least has someone keeping tabs on her comings and goings.”

“And there’s a possibility he might be Fae,” Raif added.

“Maybe.” But I doubted it. There was something mysterious about the angelic blond, but his energy wasn’t Fae. Familiar—but somehow not. And I didn’t have a clue how he’d managed to control the humans. “Whatever he is, he’s dangerous. Too fucking calm for my peace of mind.” Calm was bad. Calm meant our guy had a plan and wasn’t above exercising patience to see that plan brought to fruition. “One thing I know for sure, low-key won’t cut it. Neither will game playing. This guy doesn’t give a shit about secrecy. Obviously. He’s going to get Anya, wherever and whenever he can.”

“We can’t keep her prisoner,” Raif said, his tone suggesting he wished he could do just that. “But I’ll see what I can do about limiting her outings. At least until we can identify her attacker.”

“She
knows
him.” Christ, was I the only one pissed off by this? “And she’s not telling anyone who the son of a bitch is.”

“Perhaps.” Raif’s deference was getting on my nerves.

“Perhaps, my ass.”

Julian stirred in his seat, his brow furrowed in concentration. “Anya is a prominent figure and wt fs, my assell known to be a member of the king’s inner circle. Anyone could claim they
knew
her.”

“But what would motivate someone to kill her besides a personal grudge?” Liam spoke from the far end of the table. His boots were propped up on the glossy surface, arms folded in front of him. He may as well be watching a movie or playing video games instead of having a tactical meeting and debriefing.

“I agree.” I wanted to kill Anya on a good day and didn’t even hold any grudges.

“What about political motivations?” Louella ventured. “Any policy changes . . . proposals . . . endorsements someone might not be too thrilled with?”

Raif pondered that for a moment. “Not that I’m aware of. She doesn’t exactly function in a political capacity.”

“Besides protecting Xander every once in a while, what other capacity does she operate under?” I wondered.

The members of my team exchanged curious glances while Raif pointedly ignored my musings. Interesting.

“So we’re back to a personal grudge,” I said, trying to keep my tone from sounding too suspicious.

Raif looked away. He knew I was right. His frustrated expression mirrored my own. We hadn’t made any ground. Back at square one, we had no idea who wanted Anya dead or why. And she wasn’t making our job any easier. “Everyone but Myles may go.” Raif sighed. “Darian will keep you updated if anything comes up.”

The group exchanged some wary glances as they filed from the room, and Liam chuckled before knocking Myles on the shoulder. “Sucks to be you, man,” he said, strutting out the door.

Myles leaned sideways in his chair, flinging a casual arm across the back. The defiant smirk on his face made me want to wipe it off—with my fist. “You want to explain why the hell you went ape-shit on that guy today?” I put my palms down on the table, leaned forward until I was inches from his smart-ass face. “I told you to neutralize him. Not beat the piss out of him.”

Myles shrugged, and I pressed my fingertips against the tabletop to keep from grabbing him by the collar. “I told you, my earpiece malfunctioned.”

I moved closer, our noses almost touching. “That’s a total crock of bullshit and you know it.”

Myles’s lips compressed into a hard line. “I
don’t
know that.”

The sound of a throat clearing brought me upright, and Raif and I turned in unison toward the open doorway. “Excuse me.” One of Xander’s staff stood at the door, a female I’d seen around the house now and again. “There’s someone here to see Darian.”

Raif and I exchanged a curious look and my heart skipped in my chest. Had Tyler come back for a repeat performance?

“I asked her to wait in the foyer,” the Shaede said, as if she’d picked up on our private exchange.

Raif raised a brow in question. “Hell if I know,” I answered. I glowered in Myles’s direction. I wasn’t done with him yet.

“I’ve got this.” Raif and I almost didn’t need words to communicate anymore. He’d known what I was thinking. “Go receive your guestivelowered i.”

I trudged up the stairs, not particularly excited to have a visitor. Until now, my luck hadn’t been stellar. I doubted the woman waiting in the foyer was here to bring me good news. As I hit the top stair and rounded the corner, I clamped my jaw down tight. I just couldn’t catch a break. My night had become progressively worse.

She had her back to me, but the shining length of her honeyed-chestnut hair gave her away. I threw my shoulders back as I walked, made sure my stride was long and sure, my footsteps echoing as I approached. I might have been thrown when she’d opened Tyler’s door. But she’d come to me, and I considered this my home turf. I wasn’t going to run from her this time.

“Can I help you?” I couldn’t hide the sneer in my voice as I echoed her earlier words. I doubted my voice was as beautiful, but I knew it carried a hard edge and that’s what I wanted.

She turned to face me, a Miss America smile plastered on her face. I gave her a head-to-toe appraisal, from the top of her frizz-free hair, down the length of her sleek silk dress, and stopping at her designer heels. I looked down at my own black boots, thick-soled and scuffed from wear and tear. Delicate, I wasn’t. But strength could be beautiful, too.

Ty’s new girlfriend didn’t seem to mind my roaming gaze. In fact, she seemed to revel in it. I let my fingers linger on the hilt of my dagger. Intimidation was something I was good at. And I needed the upper hand in whatever this was.

“I didn’t realize who you were the other day.” Her voice held a soft, buttery quality that fit her perfectly.

I stuffed my left hand in my pocket and Ty’s silver ring caught on the hem. It felt heavy on my finger, cold against my skin. I kept my mouth soft, my expression blank. Emotional pain wasn’t a weakness I could afford right now. “And now you know who I am?” I wondered how my voice sounded to her.

“I do. And I thought it was only fair you know exactly who
I
am.”

“Well, then, exactly who are you?”

“I am Adira.”

Of course
.
Awesome
. I balled my fist in my pocket, resisting the urge to rub the stabbing pain from my sternum. Adira smiled when she saw the recognition in my eyes. It must have been a nice ego boost for her that I knew the story of how Tyler had come to exist and that Adira had found him in the desert and taken him in. A moment of self-realization was all it took. Jinn are born from magic. They have no mothers, no fathers. No family. But they’re drawn to the magic in one another, and Adira had found Tyler roaming the deserts of Sudan. He’d spent a few hundred years or so with her before they’d parted ways. But apparently they’d kept in touch over the millennia. Who else would rescue Ty from hurt and heartache but Adira?

God, I needed a drink.

“I have no intention of asking you to break your bond with him.” She flipped her long hair over her shoulder as she spoke. “He has, after all, pledged his protection to you.”

I wanted to laugh. She knew damn good and well there was nothing she could do about Ty’s bond with me. It was one of the rules. Jinn are forbidden from interfering with the bonds of others. I’m sure she hoped to come off as gracious, but really, I knew the truth. If it had been within her scope of poer re forbiddwer, our bond would be as good as broken. “That’s big of you,” I said. I kept my right hand wrapped around the hilt of my dagger for effect. “Is that all you came here for? To tell me Ty’s bond with me is good and intact?”

Adira smiled. Lovely, really. “He’s happy,” she said. “I know him better than anyone, and I’m what he needs right now.
That
is what I came here to tell you.”

“Well.” I hadn’t meant for the word to come out as a single thought. But I couldn’t wrap my head around anything more coherent to say. It was like getting a kick to the ribs while you were down. She’d already slapped me in the face with her presence in Tyler’s life. Was she expecting me to turn the other cheek? “You don’t have to worry your pretty little head about me. I can take a hint.”

“I’m not worried about you, Darian,” Adira said as if I were totally inconsequential. “I just thought you needed to know where everything stood.”

“Gee, thanks.”

Adira gave me one last, blinding smile. The air shimmered around her, and she faded from sight.

Something about her energy signature struck me as familiar. As if I’d felt it somewhere before. Probably from Ty. They were both Jinn, after all. Thoughts slogged through my brain like slush in a wintery creek, too congested to search through memory for confirmation, though. I relaxed my fist and pulled my hand from my pocket as I backed against the wall. Slumping to the floor, I took a few deep breaths in a desperate attempt to squelch the anxiety rising up from the pit of my stomach. The need to flee was strong, overpowering any determination I might have had to stay put. I twisted the ring on my thumb and paused. It was the only thing I had that connected me to Tyler. With a tug, the ring slid up to my knuckle, but I didn’t have the willpower to remove it completely. What a coward I was.

I needed some air. And the walls of Xander’s house felt
like they were closing in on me. As if I hadn’t already seen with my own eyes the evidence that Tyler and I were through, now I had to hear it as well. A stellar end to a shit-tastic day. Pushing myself up to stand, I reached out to the shadows, entreating them to join with my flesh. No need to bring undue attention to myself. What I needed was a bit of peace and quiet. If anyone knew I was leaving, I could expect a babysitter. That was the last thing I wanted. And so, as my shadow self, I made a stealthy escape and left the protection of Xander’s house behind.

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