Craving Talon (37 page)

At the end of the show, Talon makes an announcement about the signing at the Mall of America Tuesday at six. The crowd gets really excited about that and it makes me excited to know that we just might have more people there than originally thought. The signing is to celebrate the release of the album and it also kicks off their string of public appearances that will continue throughout the tour. Including TV and radio spots. Which means we will be limiting the after parties. We will need to leave as soon as the show and greenroom activities are over.
 

When we arrive at the after party there is a long line outside of the club, along with a media line that goes crazy when Talon and I step out of the limo. Tonight is the first night that Kyle comes with us because the rest of the band is packed into the same car.
 

As a band, they agreed to humor the paparazzi and pose for pictures along the way. Many cameramen refuse to take pictures without me in them which I find strange, but the band just pulls me in. We laugh and smile and then we finally duck into the party. Which is in full swing.
 

The music is pumping, the crowd is dancing and the alcohol is flowing. After ‘To Be Free’ was done, Kyle and I chatted about the party. I told him I didn’t want to drink and he tried to talk me into it. I was firm in my decision because frankly it scares the crap out of me. I stick to bottled water and I have a great time just chatting with the guys and the people who come up to talk to the band. I get my fair amount of praise, but I keep the chicks off of Kyle because I refuse to leave him alone this time. I think Talon misses both of us because it isn’t long before we’re pulled into the inner circle.
 

Talon gets pretty drunk, which is a first; he doesn’t normally drink like this, but I don’t say anything, what right do I have? Plus, he’s been really good, not drinking, not partying, he deserves a night out. I noticed that even when I wasn’t around him, the girls seemed to stay at bay and I’m impressed, maybe it’s finally getting around that he’s taken.
 

We close out the bar around two in the morning and when we pile back into the limo, the guys are pretty wild, but they’re having a good time. Even Kyle is getting in on the action. A contact drunk. I feel it too, but I’m not feeling that good so it’s hard to get too into it. About thirty minutes after we arrived at the bar, I got really tired and very achy, almost like I’m catching a cold, but I don’t think much of it and do my best to ignore it.
 

When we get back up to the room, Talon is acting strange. He’s drunk— I get it—but, I don’t know? Something’s off. “Talon?”
 

“Yes, angel?”
 

“Are you feeling okay?” I ask.
 

“I feel amazing, why?”
 

“You just seem a little off.”
 

“I’m drunk, so what?” he says with a hint of anger.
 

“I don’t care if you’re drunk, Talon. I just worry about you,” I tell him.
 

“Well, don’t.”
 

“What the fuck…seriously, Talon?” I say.
 

“You picking a fight with me tonight? After you spend time alone in your dressing room with Bryan Hayes.”
 

Whoa. “Talon, don’t…” Kyle says but he’s interrupted by Talon.

“You’re okay with the fact that she was alone in her dressing room with another man?” Talon’s words are slurred together.
 

“Talon Carver, I can’t believe you…Jesus, you fucking think I did, oh my god! I’m not going to argue about this while you’re drunk. Because it’s nothing to be arguing about.”
 

“Like hell, it’s not.”
 

“Talon, no, it’s not.” Kyle tries to step between Talon and I. Which of course drives my anger level higher. “You’re throwing stones for nothing, Talon. They had a conversation about his tweet.”
 

“Then why did I find this in her bag?” He pulls out Bryan’s card. With his email and phone number on it.
 

“Why were you in my bag?” I snap.
 

“I wasn’t, it was hanging out. Why did he give you his number, Addison?”
 

I pull the rubber band from my hair. “Because he wants to do a duet with me. Because he wants to further discuss it with me.”
 

“He has people for that shit, people that need to talk to your people, not you two talking to each other.”

I see Kyle stiffen and he looks at me. I hadn’t told him about the card either, but I saw no harm in it. I know damn well that what happened between Bryan and I was completely innocent. “Honesty and communication. I’ve never lied to you. I’m not lying to either one of you now.”
 

“Bullshit,” Talon says.
 

“Talon!” Kyle snaps at him. “What the fuck, brother, what the god damn hell are you doing?”
 

“Doing what I do best,” Talon says and slumps into the couch, but I am too pissed off, too fucking hurt to give a shit.
 

“A few hours ago, I was beyond excited to get back here, to spend the evening with the two men who mean the world to me. Who I love more than anything and will do anything for. And I get back here to this.” I spread my arms wide. “I’ve done nothing wrong. You’re so goddamn jealous of the fact that someone else wants to sing with me that you’re blind to the truth. Tonight, I am invoking my safeword.” I turn on my heel and walk straight into the bedroom where I turn, grabbing both doors. Just as they close I see Kyle’s shattered look and my heart breaks. I close and lock the doors.
 

I strip out of my clothes, throw on my pajamas, scrub my face and climb into bed.
 

During one of our late night talks that turned to sex, we discussed safe words, mainly for the fact that Talon likes to get rough with me and I fucking love it, but we decided I needed a safeword. I told them I didn’t need one, but that I should be entitled to have the ability to do exactly what I did. Invoke it and neither one of them can do a damn thing about it. If I invoke it, I get the bedroom on the bus, and the guys have to find somewhere else to sleep. They’re not allowed to knock, attempt to get in, or attempt to contact me via cell until I was ready to come out. With the exception of food, in which case, if I left the room for the bathroom or food, all I’d have to do is say is ‘safeword’ and they couldn’t approach me, talk to me, anything until I was ready. We all agreed that it would be allowed to be used by all of us. With the same no contact rules.
 

Though the no contact is only allowed to last for twenty-four hours. After that, those locked out would be able to try and make contact, try and talk it through.
 

This is the first time it’s ever been used and I’m the one using it because of Talon and it is killing Kyle in the process. At least I talked to Kyle about Bryan’s conversation, so with any luck he can talk some sense into him. Or get his drunk ass to bed to sleep it off.
 

I wrap my arms around a pillow and I shiver because I’m cold. I’m tired, and I’m alone.

The part about this whole fucking mess that pisses me off is he made an assumption, instead of talking to me about it. He just assumed and pissed himself off because he was afraid of the possibility. Couple that with the fact that sleep, while usually my friend, has become my enemy.
 

I’ve tossed, I’ve turned, I’ve lain still with my eyes open staring at the ceiling. Now it’s seven in the morning and I’m up, sorting through my clothes. Piling up what needs to be dry cleaned and what needs to be washed. When I have the dry clean bag for the hotel stuffed full, I take it to the front door. Standing outside are Mills, Rusty and Tori.
 

“Good morning, Addison, everything alright?” Tori asks.
 

“No, but nothing for you to worry about.” I hand over the bag and tell them that I’ll have my laundry ready shortly. “I want to go to the mall today,” I tell them all and no one looks surprised.
 

“What time?” Mills asks.
 

“What time does it open?” I retort.
 

“Uh, we’ll have to find out, but I’m assuming nine or ten. So what time would you like to go.”
 

I look at my watch and it is nearly eight. “Let’s shoot for leaving around ten thirty.”
 

“Will the guys be joining you?” Rusty asks.
 

“No,” I say without further explanation.
 

“They wanted…”
 

“If they want to go, they can make their own arrangements. I am telling you mine.”
 

“Yes, Addison,” Tori says. “We’ll be ready.”
 

“Thank you.” I slip back into the suite, closing the door quietly. When I turn around Kyle is standing at the end of the hallway. “My safeword is still invoked,” I tell him and his face drops. “I am not mad at you, it has nothing to do with you, but I need to be alone for a while.” He nods sadly. “You’re still my cowboy.” I give him a sad smile and he lights up a little bit. I walk up to him and place my hand on his cheek and he leans into it. “When I get back, after he’s sobered up, and with any luck realizes what an idiot he’s being, we will talk. But he is not allowed to buy me anything or do anything other than talk when it comes to what’s happened.”
 

“I understand.” He kisses my palm.
 

“I appreciate you sticking up for me last night.” I pull my hand down. “I’ll see you later.” I turn to walk away.
 

“I love you,” he tells me and I stop.
 

I turn my head toward him. “I love you too, cowboy.” That gets a small smile, but my heart is breaking knowing that I am inflicting unnecessary pain on him, but I can’t allow time with one, when I’m pissed off at the other. “Go back to sleep.”
 

“I can’t. I can’t sleep without you.”
 

“That makes two of us, cowboy. But try, now that you know that I’m not mad at you, it might make it easier.”
 

He nods and I walk across the sitting room to my bedroom. I notice that I can’t see him from where I’m standing, which actually breaks my heart more.

“Addison.” I jolt awake. “Addison? Where’d you go?” I can’t see Talon but I can hear him. Then I hear the door to the suite open. “Where is she?” he asks whoever is in the hall. “Fucking great!”
 

I sit up, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and look at the clock, it’s after twelve and Talon is frantic, which tells me that he’s either realized his fuck up, or he’s wondering why he woke up in the second bedroom next to me. I scrub my face.
 

“She’s not here,” he says.

“I figured. Where is she?” I ask.

“She went to the mall with Tori, Rusty and Casey.” I hang my head. We were all supposed to go together and my heart aches knowing that she went alone.
 

“We were supposed to do that together,” I grumble. Even more pissed off at him than I was last night.
 

“What the fuck happened last night?” he asks, and my blood boils.
 

“You, you’re what fucking happened last night, Talon. She invoked her safeword because of you. Because of you, she’s out shopping by herself. And we can’t call her, we can’t text her, we can’t even fucking talk to her until she’s ready to talk to us.”
 

I look at him. “I got too drunk last night.”
 

“I’ll say. Everything was going great until we got back here. You fucking went through her bag, then threw it in her face.”
 

“I didn’t...honest to god, it was hanging out.”
 

“So fucking what, Talon. You can’t do shit like that to her. It’s not fair. You flew off of the god damn handle because some guy gave her his number. A guy, mind you, who wants to sing with her, a guy who wants a professional relationship with her to record a song. You all but accused her of cheating on us, which you know damn well that wasn’t the case.”