Craving Talon (40 page)

“Talon, you freaked out for all the wrong reasons. You knew that Bryan Hayes was coming to the show. You knew about the tweet, you knew that the conversation could be possible, so why would it surprise you that he gave me his number and email address?”
 

I watch as he scrubs his hands through his hair. He doesn’t say anything and Kyle sits quietly. I can tell by the way their arms are aimed toward each other under the table that there’s a good possibility Talon is pulling strength from Kyle, holding his hand. “I think that I freaked out because I…I thought maybe we don’t make you happy.”
 

Oh my god. “Talon, have I ever given you that impression?”
 

He shakes his head. “That’s why I woke up feeling so stupid this morning.”
 

“So you understand that I’m not interested in anyone else?” He nods. “Then if you understand that, why did you freak out on me last night?”

“It was all too convenient and I let my mind run wild with possibilities. I feel…I feel like I, we’re,” he gestures between the two of them, “not good enough for you.”

A tear escapes my eye. Just as Amber arrives with our food. She sets it down quickly, asks if we need anything else, and when we decline she leaves again. Her arrival is enough to distract me.
 

“Does it ever occur to you that I feel that way sometimes?” He goes to say something and I stop him. “Hear me out, please?” He nods. “Before I came into your life, you slept with how many women? Don’t actually answer that because, yeah, I don’t want to know. But you’ve gone from one, two or sometimes three different women a night, at least while on the road. Then I come onboard, you fall in love with me and you don’t think I worry that I might not be enough for you?”
 

“I never thought about it like that,” he says sadly.
 

“Just because I might feel that way, I don’t freak out about it. I don’t worry about it because you’ve given me no reason to worry about it. I’m with you all the time, and when I’m not, I know that Kyle’s with you, and if neither one of us are with you, I think Dex has enough respect for me to keep you in line. Add to that the fact that I honestly believe you don’t want to hurt me and you know stepping out on me will do just that. Not to mention that it will hurt Kyle. I have a lot of faith in that. If I’m wrong, tell me now.” I take a drink of my water and watch him carefully.
 

“I’d never do it, I couldn’t do it. I love you too much. It tears me apart thinking about it.”
 

“Then, before you accuse me of something that isn’t true, talk to me. We’ll work through it. Raise your concerns and we’ll talk about it. Don’t just make an assumption, get drunk and then hold it over my head. I invoked my safeword because I was being attacked verbally by you, because you were unreasonable and not listening to me. We’d still be arguing if I hadn’t gone to my room.”
 

“I was drunk, angel.”
 

“And you got drunk because you assumed, rather than asked.”
 

He scrubs his face. “I did. I was wrong and I’m sorry. I don’t know what else I can say to you to let you know how sorry I am. I feel awful, and I want to fix this, so tell me how to fix it.”
 

I smile, “you can’t fix it Talon, what’s done is done, all you can do is think before you act going forward. The next time you think I’ve done something, or you feel like you’re losing your head, talk to me, tell me, tell Kyle, bring it up, we’ll talk about it. Even if it means you have to write it down or text it, breaking the ice. But when you break it, you need to be prepared to explain it. Be ready to discuss it and I promise to be open-minded and not fly off my own handle, like with the bodyguard incident. Okay? We all have some learning to do with this relationship, we have growing pains and these are some of them. Nothing’s changed about how I feel about you or how I feel about Kyle. You can’t push me away that easily.” I smile sweetly.
 

I see the burden in his eyes lifting and Kyle looks lighter too. “Eat,” I tell both of them and we dive into eating, the mood shifts more back to normal with each bite.
 

About halfway through our food, the silence is almost too much. “So what did you guys do today?” I’ve never seen two men blush as red as these two do. “You didn’t?” I squeak.
 

Talon laughs. “We did.”

“Oh?” Color me shocked. “Who?” Talon gestures to Kyle then back to himself. “No!” I say shocked. “And I wasn’t there.” I mock pout at both of them.
 

Both guys look upset. “Is that okay?” Kyle says, “We’ve never set those kinds of boundaries and I told him I loved him and it…”
 

“Wait, what?” I look at Kyle. “You told him?”
 

“Is that a bad thing?” Talon says.
 

“That depends, did you say it back?”
 

Panic washes over Talon. I can see him visually lock up. “He doesn’t have to say it,” Kyle says. “I know how I feel, I’ve told him, and as long as he knows how I feel, I’m confident when he knows he’s ready to admit it, he will.” I wish I had Kyle’s confidence. “But my telling him led to what happened,” Kyle says with a satisfied smile.
 

“Well, okay then. Talon?” He looks at me. “It’s okay, Kyle and I know. We don’t need you to say it.” He smiles softly, the look is almost childlike. “Was it good?” I ask with a smirk.
 

Talon smiles a very satisfied smile. “It was amazing,” He says so light and carefree, that Kyle perks up a little bit.
 

“Really?”
 

Talon looks at him with all the love he can’t say out loud, and I watch Kyle melt.
 

We finish eating and Talon honors Amber with an autograph and a couple of pictures with me and Talon, plus Talon, her and me. Then we decide to do some more shopping. The experience is certainly one to remember. The guys are great at picking out outfits for me. Beyond hilarious actually. Especially some of the more risqué stuff, but in the same, I love that they enjoy my body that much. All in all, I ended up spending over eight grand in Macy’s and Talon was pretty peeved when I told him I was paying for it.
 

“Big man, listen to me, I am capable of paying for all this.”
 

“That’s not the point, angel. I want to.”
 

“I understand, but is this ‘want to’ because of what happened last night?” He doesn’t argue, so I continue, “Then you’re absolutely not going to pay for this. Talon, I don’t need your money or for you to buy me things to show me you love me. If you want to buy me things, do it because you want to, not because you feel guilty.”
 

“But we picked out most of this.”
 

I smile. “If I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t buy it and most certainly wouldn’t let you buy it either.”
 

“I just don’t…” he stutters.
 

“I understand you feel the need, I honestly do, but I know how you feel, I don’t need you to buy me stuff to show me you love me. I need you to hold me, kiss me, make love to me, talk to me, be with me. Besides, I’m already going to have to ship a bunch of stuff back home.” He laughs. “I’m serious, or we’re going to need another bus just for my clothes.”
 

“Oh baby girl, don’t tell him that, he’s liable to buy another bus.”
 

“Or a trailer.”
 

“Oh for crying out loud, I don’t need a bus or a trailer for my clothes, I just need to decide what to keep and what to send home.”

“Alright, baby girl, we’ll get you some boxes,” Kyle says with a roll of his eyes. “I will never understand clothes and women.”
 

I snort. “For such a loving person, I’d think you’d understand,” I tease him.
 

He laughs. “No. That’s one thing I’ll never understand.”
 

“Ah, but don’t you want your panda girl to look good?”
 

They sandwich me. “We always want you to look good, angel, but you can do that naked too.”

As we finish shopping and walking around the mall some more, I am reminded of why it is that Kyle and Talon mean so much to me. Though Talon’s drive to buy things for me, to show me he loves me, comes from his mother and the things she did when he was a child, it doesn’t make it any less easy to accept his natural inclination to do so. But the fact that he feels so compelled to do just that, warms my heart.
 

Over the past few weeks, everything in my life has been shifted, twisted, turned, tossed and then finally righted itself once again. I’ve never been happier, even when I couldn’t sleep last night, I knew it would all work out in the end, it had to. Everything that’s happened so far has honestly happened for a reason, and whatever those reasons are, I’m dying to know.
 

Kyle is my lover. Strong, caring and passionate. Always desperate to find new ways to make me happy, both in and out of the bedroom. He’s strong and independent, but like me, he has a craving for Talon that only Talon can satisfy. I think that barrier was breeched today when they were able to truly be with each other, alone.
 

Kyle’s admission to Talon is a huge step in the right direction for our relationship. An admission that was long overdue. I’m thankful that Kyle took advantage of my imposed safeword break to break down that wall between the two of them. Though I am sad I wasn’t there, I’m not jealous; in fact it’s a testament to their relationship that they could do it without my guidance. It’s also proof positive that they don’t need me all the time. That they care enough for each other to turn their relationship from friends to lovers.
 

It’s also proof to myself that I can handle the idea of being jealous. Knowing that they did something, without me, should have me pea green with jealousy, but it doesn’t and I’m confident that it never will.
 

Talon shattered a brick wall today. The wall that he carries inside of him all the time. Though he is tough, domineering and sometimes overbearing, he’s discovering better who he is. Though no matter what, I pray to god he never loses that edge. When he takes me roughly, and especially when he is commanding Kyle and me, it’s the hottest damn thing in the world. I crave it, I’m starving for it.
 

We have a very long way to go in this relationship, but once again, our ability to talk about things, right our overturned ships, and move on like nothing happened is all the confirmation I need that nothing will stand in our way.
 

I fall asleep in the car on the way back to the hotel. Completely exhausted, emotionally and physically, Talon practically carries me to bed. They strip me out of my clothes and climb into bed with me. But there isn’t any sexual tension and I notice when they snuggle into me that they’re content just to be near me, breathing me in. I fall asleep in their arms.

ARE YOU READY FOR BOOK 3?

Redeeming Kyle

Available March 31
st
, 2015

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Here is a look at Chapter One

Please note - the following may not be edited completely and is subject to change prior to publication.
 

© 2014 - 2015 by Zoey Derrick

When I wake, I know it’s early, but I also know I slept a long time. Not wanting to wake my men, I crawl out of bed and head for the bathroom. I decide that I need a long soak and this tub is far too big to go unused. So I fire up the water and let it fill. I go in search of a hair tie. I don’t know why, but I look into the baggie and I see something strange inside. It’s a tie, or something that looks like one mixed in with all the others. When I pull it out, panic races through my veins. Where did this come from? How did it get here? I sit down on the side of the tub very slowly.
 

“Breathe Addison.” I tell myself. If this is in here, it’s not in me, if it’s not in me that means…”Oh god.”
 

“Baby-girl?”