Crazy For You (32 page)

Frankie where are you
? She needed him now
more than she’d ever needed anyone in her whole life. If only Frank
were there. He’d make it all okay.

Kirk stood by as the hospital staff rushed Roxanne
away. He couldn’t do anything for her. He knew that. He’d seen it
in her eyes. He wasn’t the one she wanted or needed.

In the delivery room Roxanne was alone and
frightened as one horrific pain after another ripped through her
body and soul. She’d have given anything if Frank were there.

“Okay,” the doctor coached her, “here comes the
head, Roxie.”

“Don’t you call me that!”

“Okay, Roxanne…” the doctor corrected himself.
“Push… push!”

Roxanne didn’t know what to do. It’s like she was in
the dark. And Frank was the only one who could shed any light.

“One more time, Roxanne,” the doctor said. “Just
once more. Push hard. Give it all you’ve got.”

Roxanne felt immense relief as the baby came out.
Thank you, God
! Finally, it was over.

“It’s a boy!” she heard someone say.

Within minutes of cleaning up the baby and wrapping
him in a snug blanket, the nurse placed him in Roxanne’s arms. A
chill breezed through her as she held her son for the first time.
Fighting the tears, she looked down at the baby. He opened his eyes
and appeared to look up at her with hauntingly familiar blue eyes.
Gently, she kissed his cheek and then hugged him.

The delivery room doors burst open and Candy came
rushing in. “Am I late?” she asked, surveying the room. When her
eyes fell on Roxanne and the baby, she froze.

“It’s a boy,” Roxanne said.

Candy cooed and her eyes began to water as she
reached out to touch him.

“Would you like to hold your nephew?” Roxanne
asked.

Candy took the baby and cuddled him close. “Aren’t
you just the most precious little thing that anybody’s ever
seen.”

From that moment on, a bond formed between Candy and
little Frankie. They would always be nephew and aunt, and nothing
anyone said or did would ever change that.

~ ~ ~

Rich laid the papers on the desk. His gaze traveled
up to Candy, and he this a sad, far-away look in his eyes as he
asked, “Has Frank read this?”

“Yes.” Candy nodded.

“How did he react?”

“Let’s just say that...” She hesitated and shrugged.
“Now Frank has a different outlook on the time he and Roxanne were
apart.”

“It didn’t upset him that Kirk Bronson was with her
while she was in labor?”

“No.”

“That’s odd.”

“Why?”

“Well, aside from the fact that Frank spent all
those years thinking Kirk Bronson was Frankie’s father…and Roxanne
had been unfaithful to him.” Rich paused. He wasn’t comfortable
discussing that part of Frank’s past with anyone. Not even Candy.
“
Without Her
was nominated for a Grammy, as was Kirk’s title
track from your movie.” Rich told Candy something she hadn’t
realized. “Anyway, we lost the award to Kirk’s band, and that only
fueled the fire for Frank. He’s always considered Kirk Bronson his
arch-enemy.”

When Frank showed up, Candy sent Rich and little
Frankie out to get ice cream. She and Frank needed to talk.

“So what are we working on today?” Frank asked.

“Why didn’t you tell me how you really felt about
Kirk Bronson?” she asked casually.

“That’s not the issue.”

“Considering how you truly feel about him, it’s
pretty remarkable that you didn’t show the least bit of anger that
he was with Roxanne while she was in labor with
your
son.”

“How I feel about Bronson is not important. He was a
good friend to Roxanne, and he was there for her when she would
have otherwise been alone. There’s no just cause to be angry about
that.”

Maybe Frank didn’t feel the need to be angry anymore
because now he knew that even though Kirk was there with Roxanne,
it wasn’t enough. She wanted and needed Frank. He was the only one
who could have made a difference.

“Do you still hate him?”

“With a passion.”

“You never cease to amaze me, Frank.” She chuckled
softly.

“Have I told you about Frankie’s dreams lately?” he
wondered off-handedly.

“No.”

“He’s been having these dreams that Roxanne isn’t in
the hospital. He says she’s at the water.”

“At the water?” Candy said, confused.

“I think he wants her to recover and come home so
badly that he dreams she’s at
the water
because he knows she
loves the beach.” He gave his own interpretation of Frankie’s
dreams.

“I guess this is pretty hard on him. Roxanne is all
he’s ever known.” Candy tried not to fret about something she had
no control over. “She’s always been there for him. And now she’s
not.”

“I hate myself for that.”

“Would you stop with this self-hatred and blaming
yourself?”

“It’s my fault, you know.”

“How many times do I have to tell you it’s not your
fault?” Candy had grown tired of this game they seemed to be
playing, day in and day out.

“Okay!” Frank blurted out. “I’m going to tell you
the truth. And what I’m about to say will change your opinion of me
forever.” Knowing this, he continued. “I hated Roxanne. I wanted to
drive her crazy. I wanted her locked up in the nuthouse where I
figured she belonged. I didn’t marry her because I wanted to be
reunited with my long lost love.” He saw the shock on Candy’s face,
but he didn’t stop. “I married her because I wanted her to pay for
what she’d done to me. For keeping my son away from me.” Frank was
blaming himself for what had happened to Roxanne, and he figured
everybody else should, too. There was anger in his words, but it
wasn’t meant for Roxanne. He was furious with himself, and so far
beyond being mad at her anymore. “I wanted her to be locked away
from me and my son.” He paused to revel in a brief moment of
self-loathing. “I hate myself for what I’ve done to her—and
Frankie. I’m so ashamed of myself.” He waited for Candy to say
something. He wanted her to yell, to scream at him. Tell him he was
a disgrace to the human race.

Candy didn’t yell. She thought about it. But Frank
had already condemned himself more than she, or anyone else ever
could. And Roxanne’s problems ran so much deeper than Frank
deciding he was going to push her over the edge just because he
thought he could. But with Roxanne’s fragile state of mind no one
could have guaranteed what her reaction would have been, no matter
what he’d said or done.

“I pray that someday I’ll get the chance to tell her
how sorry I am. She needs to know that she means everything to
me.”

***

Chapter 28

S
urprisingly, to Jason
anyway, Kirk had tracked him down all the way from London. “Hello,
Kirk,” he said coolly into the phone. “How are you?” he asked
politely, stalling. He knew why Kirk was calling.

“I heard about Roxanne,” Kirk said, getting straight
to the point.

“You heard all the way in England?” Jason asked,
still stalling.

“Tragic news has a way of crossing oceans. What
happened to her?”

“She’s in a coma.”

“I know that.” His exasperation reached across the
wire and stung Jason. “How did this happen?”

“Well, we really don’t know how it happened,” Jason
lied easily. He wasn’t about to admit to anyone, not even Kirk
Bronson, that Roxanne had purposefully taken an overdose.

“I’ve heard the rumors,” Kirk paused. “Is that what
happened?”

“What rumors?”

“Did she try to kill herself?” Kirk was under the
mistaken impression that Jason would tell him the truth.

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m coming to the States. Where is she?”

“No one can see her, Kirk.” Jason didn’t want Kirk
Bronson to come nosing around. Besides, if he showed up that’d piss
Frank off. Jason didn’t need Frank pissed off. He liked him much
better in his current guilt-ridden state. It kept him from making a
nuisance of himself. “It wouldn’t do you a bit of good to
come.”

“She’s going to need someone to be there for her
when she wakes up.”

“To be honest with you, Kirk…the doctors aren’t
holding out much hope that Roxanne will ever wake up.”

“How can you say that? Of course she’s going to wake
up. And I’m going to be there when she does.”

“You don’t know, do you?” It was more of a
realization than a question for Jason. “You haven’t heard.”

“Heard what?”

“Roxanne married Frank Garrett last fall.” Jason
dropped the bomb, hoping it was enough to keep Kirk away. Of
course, he knew that was wishful thinking.

T
he weeks turned into
months and Roxanne’s status never changed. Every time Frank phoned
the hospital, the information was always the same: Roxanne remained
in a deep coma.

In the meantime, Frank, Candy, and Rich continued to
work on Roxanne’s book. The project provided the means by which
each of them put off learning to deal with the fact that Roxanne
wasn’t an active part of their lives anymore, especially Candy and
Frank.

Candy listened diligently as Frank recalled the
circumstances leading to the birth of his music. The events
surrounding his writing
Wild She-Cat
would surely test
Candy’s resilience.

She had a hard time writing about what he’d told
her, but she told herself that Roxanne would’ve been professional
about the whole thing. So Candy pulled on her big girl panties and
began work on the hardest scene in the book so far. When she handed
the pages to Frank, she knew her version of the events would have
to pass his standards.

~From the autobiography

California was a completely different world for
Garrett-Hollander. They’d been out west for a few months, but time
had not healed the wounds for Frank Garrett. The hectic schedule of
the bar tour did little to take his mind off his loss.

He and Rich carried their luggage into one of the
many motel rooms on the circuit and neither of them paid any
attention to the trash magazine on the dresser.

“I’m going to go pick up some burgers,” Rich said,
once they’d brought their luggage inside. “You want the usual?”

Frank nodded. “Sounds good.”

After Rich left, Frank decided he’d watch a little
television. Maybe check out the news and see what was happening in
the world. About to turn on the TV, he glanced past the magazine,
having no desire to pick it up, much less read it. But something
caught his eye, yanking his attention back to the tabloid a second
time.

In the top right-hand corner he saw a small picture
of Roxanne and some guy. The photo was small but it still caught
his eye. Shocked to see her picture on the cover of any magazine,
he picked it up to take a closer look. He read the short
inscription:
Kirk
Bronson and Amanda Cantrell. See page
28
. He frantically searched for page twenty-eight, curious
about the fake name.

Of course, the stage name had been used solely to
elude Frank. We know now, that didn’t work out too well.

Frank scanned the brief paragraph about Roxanne.

British rocker Kirk Bronson, and newcomer Amanda
Cantrell are set to co-star in
The Secret
, due to hit
theaters in the fall. The movie is based on a novel written by Ms.
Cantrell and is expected to be one of this year’s surprise
hits.

Frank snapped the paper shut and looked back at the
picture. She’d obviously been looking at the camera, but he was
looking at her. Frank could easily guess what the guy must have
been thinking at that moment. Hell, he’d been there before. Frank
was an expert.

You’re looking at her

But she’s looking away

Have I got news for you

Frank squeezed the tabloid and stared at the
photograph. Jealousy and anger surged inside.

It’s going to cost you

Nothing is free here today

She does her best work

Under the cover of night

“Yeah,” Frank said softly, as if he were actually
talking to Kirk, “you think you got it made, don’t you?” He
tightened his grip, gently tearing the magazine’s edges. “You don’t
know what you’re getting into,” he warned his adversary. “But I
know what’s going to happen to you. I know because I’ve been there
before.”

You better leave her alone

You better call it a day

Listen to what I’m telling you

Cause money is her way

“Don’t let her beauty blind you,” Frank said. “I
did, and you see where it got me.” His anger with Roxanne escaped
in his voice. “She’s got one thing on her mind…and that’s money.”
He wanted to kill them both. “You better watch your back, boy.”

I thought I could make her see

I thought she would give it all up

I thought she would do it for me

I’ve been a fool

Frank drew his premature conclusions at the time,
even though he was a little bit ahead of himself. But then again,
maybe he did sense that there was more to this than meets the
eye.

~ ~ ~

Frank’s gaze drifted up to Candy’s and held her
attention in silence. Finally, after what seemed like a whole month
of silence, he said, “I like it.”

Candy sighed. “There’s more,” she said anxiously.
“About Roxanne.” When she was sure he had a hold of his emotions,
she handed him another batch of printed text.

~ From the autobiography

After Frankie’s birth, the realization finally hit
home that Roxanne was going to be in a movie that would potentially
be seen by millions of people. She got scared, fearing that Frank
might see her, or hear her name mentioned somewhere and come after
her.

Lyle, worried about losing his star, assured Roxanne
that if she used a stage name she would be safe from discovery. He
let her know it wasn’t that uncommon and everybody did it all the
time. He made it sound so logical when he suggested that nobody
really knew who any of these people truly were. Hence, Amanda
Cantrell was born. The name actually had more meaning than just
being a stage name to hide behind. Amanda Cantrell was the name of
Roxanne’s maternal grandmother.