Crown's Chance at Love (56 page)

“I’m not very good at saying how I feel.” Right when he says this, I remember everything he had said and wince.

From being in love with Holly, to everything in my life being too much  baggage for him to handle, to how sex had been mediocre between us. “
I got off right”?
The words repeat in my mind, stinging something so deep inside of me, I wonder if it will ever stop hurting. Words, that when remembered, echoed in my mind. Over and over. Making my throat tighten so much I have to clear it, because remembering how he had described us hurt so much I felt is deep inside of me.

“I think you are more than good at saying how you feel Mike,” I say coldly. Whatever has been thawing out at me throughout the night started to freeze back up, even if I hate myself for it.

“What are you doing with Garibaldi?” he asks. His voice is scary calm, but his eyes are pissed beyond belief.

“We both share the same type of baggage,” I say quickly, instantly regretting the words.

“I didn’t mean it. When I said that…”

“What Mike? You had just talked to Mommy Dearest? Or was it complete coincidence that within twenty four hours you both called my kids baggage?” I snap at him quietly, trying not to notice the stares coming from peering eyes of those dancing around us and others at their tables, but I couldn’t stop the words before they came out of my mouth.

“What are you talking about?” he says, his eyes widening a little bit, frowning so much he gets those cute lines above his forehead. I hate that I still think he’s so damn attractive.

“She talked to you right before our fight. She talked to me when we were preparing coffee the night we went over, the same way she spoke to me a couple of minutes ago,” I say, my voice angry and laced with hurt. I am so tired of this, of his games, of his mother’s stupidity.

“She talked to you that way the night we went over?” he asks seriously and I look away over his shoulder and just nod.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, sounding almost angry. Whether it was at me or her, I’m not sure. I am too tired to care.

“What was I going to say? You seemed so excited that it all went so well, then between that and what happened at night at your place. I just let it go. It was her opinion, I didn’t think…”

“What?” his voice hoarse, his eyes wide as he swallows.

“I didn’t think you actually felt that way,” I whisper. I look at him as my body stops moving to the music..

My hand goes to his cheek pulling him closer to my face. His face goes into my touch, his eyes closing. Almost as if he actually enjoys my touch. Anyone looking at us would think he can’t breathe without it, but I know better. He’s taught me better than to think that.

“That night you made love to me, it was so slow and sweet… like you were trying to tell me how you felt…”  I somehow whisper out.

He leans in, his forehead on mine, and we sway quietly as a Great Big World and Christina Aguilera plead their lover to say something before one of them gives up. Our bodies sway silently. I can almost feel his heart racing against my chest. We are so close. His heat and scent engraving in my mind. My heart feels heavy and sad. The song is close to ending and I kiss him on the cheek.

“I just didn’t know you were saying goodbye. I get it now. No harm no foul. You never made me any promises. Take care Mike.” And somehow I get my legs that suddenly feel as heavy as my heart and I walk away. I walk away from my second chance, as my heart is silently sobbing for all the what-ifs that will never happen again.

Mike

Her words leave me stunned. My heart is heavy at everything I’ve done. I’ve ruined us. We’d a good thing.  No, she was the best fucking thing ever possible, and I have ruined it. I want to fall to the floor or hit something, but instead I stand with my shoulders slumped forward. I look up and notice she’s gone. She has walked away without another word. Others start to fill the tightly filled dance floor as I try to look for her, but I can’t see her in the sea of gowns and tuxes. My body is completely frozen. Have I lost her? Have I lost her without letting her know how I had really felt? Before I told her I hadn’t meant all the shit I had said?

Holly comes over to me, her face serious.

“Did you talk to her?” she asks, and I just shake my head. “Go after her you big idiot! Look she couldn’t have left, Tony is still here,” she says as she points at Garibaldi. “I’ll go distract him, you go find her, take her away from here, and talk to her!” she says as she glides over to Tony flashing him a big smile. I turn around looking towards the exits, Holly’s right. Shit. I have to find Sabrina.

I look for her all over the place, in the gardens, outside the powder rooms, and I can’t find her. I go back in to check to see if she has gone to her table, and watch Garibaldi stalking over to me.

“Where is she?” he yells getting in my face.

“I’m looking for her,” I say getting angry. Why the hell does he think he has any right to her?

“She was with you last time I saw her.” He starts to jab his finger in my chest and all I want to do is push him back and kick his ass for getting in my face. Before I can do anything I see a glimpse of her walking toward us. Her face is serious and pale, but when she sees that Garibaldi and I are in one another’s faces, I watch anger sweep over her face.

She gets between us, her back to me, and I notice she is holding a cupcake in one hand.  I should have known my girl would have gone to seek comfort in a sugary concoction. But when she comes close enough it isn’t me she touches, no, her hand stretches out wide on Garibaldi’s chest. Her hands are on him, and I can feel my blood start to boil.

She was mine, only mine. She shouldn’t be touching anyone else, especially this jackass.

“Stop. What are you doing?” she asks looking at us both scowling. I feel like all I can see is red as her hand is still on his damn chest, way too comfortably.

“Shit sweetheart I couldn’t find you. When I had left, you had been with this idiot, I thought he might have upset you. You okay?” Garibaldi asks her as his eyes roam over her body, and I want to rip his fucking eyes out of their damn sockets.

I knew what he was looking at. I had been watching her all night. From the first moment she had stepped into the room. The black satin strapless gown hung to her like a second skin, highlighting every damn beautiful curve, curves that I had kissed and touched. Curves I had memorized with my own hands. The dress had a slit all the way up to her upper thigh showing her creamy legs in red sky high fuck-me heels. She had looked like a brunette version of Jessica Rabbit come to life.

Garibaldi had been all over her. Taking pictures with her on the pink carpet for the press, whispering in her damn ear. Making her laugh.  Dancing with her. Feeding her desserts. I keep seeing red at the thought of her going home with this jackass.

He might deserve her more than I do, but I’m an asshole, a real bastard, and I don’t want her with anyone else. I see her nod at Garibaldi and she turns to me already scowling, ready to yell at me. That’s when I notice her hand is still on his damn chest, and I can’t help but growl. Her eyes grow wide, Garibaldi notices what I am looking at and puts his damn hand on hers. He caresses her wrist in slow circles and damn it if that doesn’t just throw me off the edge.

“Where did you go?” I growl again at her before she is able to say a word. My blood still boiling at the thought of her hand on him. The idea that he could have the chance of touching my girl after this if they leave together pisses me off more than anything in my forty years of breathing.

“To check on Laney and grab a cupcake,” she says a little surprised at my tone at her.

Why hadn’t I thought of going to look for Laney? I grab her hand off of Garibaldi’s chest. Luckily his hold on her hand had been light and I can see the shit head smirk. John, Robert and Holly are standing behind him grinning like incredibly amused idiots. I’m done choking on my fucking words.

I pull her towards me and I see Robert place a hand on Tony’s shoulder and shake his head as in letting him know to let Sabrina go. Thankfully Garibaldi isn’t an idiot and let her go without a word.

We walk, well I mostly drag her out towards where my driver is waiting. He nods as he opens the door. I gently shove her in the car, and if she had complained at all I didn’t hear her. I can’t hear anything but my heart beating in my ears and thoughts of her rejections in my mind. Finally in the car I bark at my driver, “BEACH HOUSE” and raise the partition up.

“Jesus Christ what is your freaking problem. I can’t leave yet!” she yells at me.

“You are off the clock,” I snap as I glare at her.

“Yes, but I didn’t come with you!” she says as lines on her forehead begin forming as she starts to get angrier, and damn if that doesn’t make me hotter for her. I love when she’s feisty.

“I’m sure Garibaldi will find his way home without you!” I spit out. The image of her touching his chest still making my blood boil.

“You are beyond frustrating you know?” she yells and I grunt. I need to lay shit out for her but she keeps talking, not letting me get a word in edgewise.

“You talk about how refreshing it is to be with someone who doesn’t play games, but FUCK! You! You play more games than I have ever heard of!” she yells her voice angry and frustrated. Her cheeks are pink and her face is serious. Her breathing is a little off. Watching all this fire in her is like adding wood to a fire, riling me up even more. Only making me harder and hungrier for her.

“Yeah well fucking deal with it. But you ever touch Garibaldi’s chest like that so help me God I will rip that fucking smirk off his goddamn face!” I snarl.

My blood is hot and I’m pissed. My heart’s still beating hard and fuck if I can think straight. Having her close to me and alone. I can smell her, and damn she smells good like vanilla and sugar mixed with heaven in the confined space of the limo.

“Why do you care!” she yells. “YOU don’t give a shit about me! YOU pushed me away! YOU ended us,” she says and I can see her hands are shaking. “Plus I stood between you two so he wouldn’t kill you!”

“Please he couldn’t do shit to me,” I scoff and she laughs sarcastically.

“He is A LOT younger thank you and has about twenty pounds more muscle than you….at least!” she growls out. Her eyes fiery and hot.

“Younger? Are you fucking kidding me?” I’m not sure why this pisses me off but it does.

“Yes! He’s younger and have you seen him? He works out all the time!” she says, and damn if jealousy doesn’t rear it’s ugly head at the thought of her checking him out. How does she know he works out so much?

“I could kick his fucking ass!” I snarl and she smirks at me, scoffing.

“Oh okay… sure you could,” she says rolling her eyes crossing her arms in front of her, and all I want to do is bring her over my knee and spank her.

“What does it matter anyhow? Hmm?  If I touch him. Shit Mike, what if I planned on going home and fucking him? What the hell does it matter to YOU!” she yells hitting my chest with her finger. “You ended it. You did. Not me! I’m not yours. YOU ended things!” she says and the air in the car feels thick and heavy. I can smell her even more. The soothing scent of the vanilla and sugar, mixed with her damn honey body wash, her warm breath in front of my face sweet from the cupcake. She looks away clearly pissed and I take in a deep breath.

“Yeah. I did,” I say calmly and she turns her head to look at me, her face obviously shocked.

“I shouldn’t have, but I did. I was a fucking idiot,” I growl and pull her onto my lap. She tries to fight me but I wrap my arms around her waist tightly, my face on her bare back. I pull her as close to my front as I possibly can, and hear a tiny gasp when she realizes how hard I am as she squirms her sweet round ass right above my throbbing dick.

“I was a complete fucking idiot to push you away…” I start to say. I can feel her breathing hard. Her chest moving up and down a little quicker. Goosebumps rise on the bare skin of her back. I lean back a little only pulling her closer to me. My mouth not being able to resist lightly kissing her on the middle of her spine. Her hushed moan is like lightning to my dick, making it come alive against her round ass.

“Do you feel it? Do you feel how hard you get me?” my voice is husky in the silence of the backseat of the limo. I kiss her spine again, loving the way this dress leaves most of her back bare for me to touch and feel the softness of her warm skin. “Do you feel how much I fucking want you?”