Crystal (19 page)

‘God, I want you,’ he murmured. ‘I wanted you as soon as I saw you.

Why the fuck have you kept me waiting then?
Crystal was tempted to ask; instead she surrendered herself to his touch, to the way his fingers moved further down her body, ending up between her legs and gently, teasingly, he caressed her through her silk underwear. And then he was slipping down the silk and his tongue was on her, hot and knowing, and Crystal closed her eyes and gave herself to the pleasure.

Then she was pulling him up to her, kissing him deeply, while she unbuttoned his jeans and eased them down his muscular thighs. Then she was slipping down his black Calvins, revealing his hard cock, caressing it with her hands, with her tongue, then he was stopping her, reaching for a condom. Crystal lay back on the sofa watching him. God, he was so sexy. She closed her eyes in anticipation and it was just as good as she thought it would be. But suddenly she had a flashback to Max raping her. She froze and felt the tears well up in her eyes. She wanted Jake to stop. Every time he tried to kiss her she turned away, not wanting him to see the tears.

All the desire she had felt had gone and she just wanted it to be over, so she could cry on her own. Realising it wasn’t going to be unless she put in a performance, she faked it for all she was worth, willing him to come.

‘God, that was so good,’ Jake panted, reaching out and
touching her face, which was by now wet with tears. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ he asked, concerned.

‘Nothing,’ Crystal tried to say, then found herself sobbing. All the pain, humiliation and hurt she’d felt about Max seemed to be pouring out of her and she was powerless to stop it, even though the timing couldn’t have been worse.

She tried to get up to go to the bathroom, but Jake held her tightly in his arms, stroking her hair and telling her it was okay. Crystal didn’t feel okay; she was mortified.

‘I’ve never had that effect on a woman before,’ Jake said lightly as Crystal dried her eyes on a tissue he’d got her. ‘Was I that bad?’

Crystal gave a wobbly smile. ‘God, I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened.’

‘D’you want to talk about it?’

Crystal shook her head, dreading that she would start crying again. ‘Maybe you’d better go,’ she mumbled.

‘No way. I’m not leaving you like this.’

In bed Jake put his arms round her and held her tight, telling her how beautiful she was. He was so perfect, and now she’d blown it with him. She couldn’t believe he would ever want to see her again.
He must think I’m some kind of frigid nutter
, she thought miserably. She closed her eyes and prepared for a sleepless night of agonising about what had happened. Instead, she fell into an exhausted sleep.

She woke up feeling totally disorientated and turning over to look for Jake she found a note on the pillow.
It’s probably to tell me to fuck off after last night
, she told herself grimly.

So he wasn’t dumping her and she hadn’t blown it. He must still like her.
Last night was a one off
, she told herself.
I’m not going to let Max ruin things.

She showered and changed in record time. She decided to
show Jake she wasn’t afraid of colour and put on pair of white shorts, a blue and white striped top that she wore pulled in tightly at the waist with a wide red suede belt and a pair of red suede heels. She was feeling pleased with how she looked when she checked her mobile to see if Jake had texted her the address. He had but she’d received another less welcome, text. It was from Max, ‘Just checking my favourite ex is okay, be in touch soon. Her good mood evaporated.
Why was he texting her? She thought when he’d got the money that he’d leave her alone.

She sat in the taxi fretting about Max. She just couldn’t see a way out of the situation. And what made it even harder was having no one to confide in. Her brother would be too upset to think rationally and would probably threaten to beat him up; Dallas would be furious that she had an affair with Max in the first place and she couldn’t deal with that right now. She thought of Tahlia. She’d resisted up till now because she didn’t want to put her friend in an awkward position, but she was desperate for her advice. She got out her mobile and called Tahlia, leaving a message saying that she wanted to talk to her urgently.

‘I thought we could have lunch in a café,’ Jake said, draping his arm round Crystal as they wandered out of the post-production office on Wardour Street. ‘Unless you’re one of those no carbs girls who only lives off macrobiotic crap.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll eat carbs for lunch and then starve myself for the rest of the month,’ Crystal replied, loving the feel of his arm round her. She was expecting to feel embarrassed after last night when she saw him; instead he made her feel so at ease that she almost forgot it had ever happened. Almost, but not quite – every now and then she’d remember and cringe at the memory. As they strolled down Old Compton Street two people sneaked pictures of them with their camera phones.

‘That’s fucking annoying!’ Jake exclaimed

Crystal shrugged. ‘It goes with the territory, I guess. At
least I’m not looking minging. I don’t ever want to appear in that “Stick it on your mirror” section in
heat
where they show celebs looking shit without their slap on.’ Crystal shuddered in mock horror.

‘You’re hardly wearing any make-up, are you?’ Jake stopped to look at her.

And Crystal laughed. ‘D’you have any idea how long it took me to put my make-up on, so it wouldn’t look like I was wearing much? I’m wearing loads!’

‘Well, you look very good.’ And to Crystal’s delight and to the delight of another passer-by who whipped out her camera phone to capture the moment, Jake kissed her.

Lunch was flirtatious and when they thought no one was looking, they stole lingering kisses. They ate toasted paninis and drank lattes in a cosy Italian café, where no one seemed to recognise Crystal. Jake had some time before he was due back in the edit so they lay on the grass in Soho Square. Crystal couldn’t believe how well they were getting on together; there was a real connection between them and an undeniable chemistry. But when he asked her what had upset her last night she felt herself clamming up, and instead of engaging with him she lit a cigarette, even though she knew he hated smoking.

‘It’s just been a while since I slept with anyone.’ Even to Crystal it sounded like a feeble explanation and she knew Jake didn’t buy it. But, then, what was she supposed to say?
I had an affair with my friend’s boyfriend, who raped me and is now blackmailing me?
He’d think she was such a bad person and she couldn’t bear him to think badly of her
.

Jake looked at his watch and sighed. ‘I’d better get back to the edit.’

The two of them got up and walked out of the park, but this time he didn’t put his arm round her.

Oh God, was this going to be it? Would he realise that he’d made a mistake in seeing her?
Crystal didn’t want to be so pathetically girlie, waiting for him to ask when they were next going to see each other. The old Crystal would have said that she
really wanted to see him again. But she no longer had the confidence; Max had seen to that. They walked back in silence, both of them lost in thought. Finally, when they reached the building, Jake spoke. ‘I’ve got to go away tonight for a shoot and I won’t be back until next week. How about meeting up on Wednesday?’

‘I’d love to,’ Crystal replied, thrilled that he wanted to see her again.

He kissed her lightly on the cheek. ‘Great, see you later.’ And then he was gone.

‘I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’ Crystal asked as Tahlia opened the door to her.

‘No way; Mum and Leticia have gone to see my aunt and Hadley is working. It’s just us.’

Crystal followed Tahlia into the kitchen. When her friend had called her back, wondering what was so urgent, Crystal had told her it wasn’t something she could say on the phone and Tahlia had asked her to come straight round.

‘D’you want a cup of tea?’ Tahlia asked, putting the kettle on.

‘Actually,’ Crystal said, a little shame-faced, ‘I don’t suppose you’ve got anything stronger?’

‘Glass of wine?’

Crystal needed a double vodka at least before she told Tahlia what was on her mind, but wine would just have to do. Tahlia poured her a large glass, which Crystal quickly knocked back.

‘So what’s on your mind, Crystal?’ Tahlia asked.

Crystal took a deep breath. ‘Before I tell you, Tahlia, I want you to know that I really regret what I’ve done so please don’t hate me.’

‘I can’t imagine it can be anything that bad!’ Tahlia exclaimed, and was going to carry on, but she stopped when she saw how serious Crystal looked.

‘Okay, just tell me what it is.’

Fifteen minutes later she had told Tahlia everything.

‘So I’ll understand if you don’t want to be my friend any more,’ Crystal said, hardly daring to look at Tahlia.

‘Crystal! How could you even think that? That bastard raped you!’ Tahlia got up and hugged Crystal tightly, and said in a voice that trembled with emotion, ‘I’m so sorry, babe. We’ve got to think of a way of getting him out of your life.’

Crystal shrugged and looked hopeless. ‘I just don’t know what to do, Tahlia.’

‘I wish you’d told me at the time. I could have helped you. We should have gone to the police.’

‘And told them what? That a man I was having an affair with raped me? It would have been my word against his. They never would have believed me and now it’s too late.’

The two girls went round and round in circles trying to figure out what to do for the best, and by the end of the afternoon Crystal was no closer to knowing how to deal with Max but at least she’d confided in Tahlia. She didn’t feel quite so alone any more.

‘And what do you think about what happened with Jake last night? Do you think I’m always going to feel like that when I have sex?’

Tahlia shook her head. ‘I bet it was just because it’s the first time since Max.’

‘God, I hope so, Tahlia. I really, really like him.’

Seeing that Crystal’s glass was empty Tahlia poured her another. ‘Actually there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about for ages.’

Crystal looked at Tahlia enquiringly.

‘It’s Belle. I’ve found her really difficult to work with lately to the point of it being unbearable. She just doesn’t put the effort in that you and I do and, to be honest, there are more talented singers out there that I’d rather work with.’

‘God, Tahlia are you suggesting we drop her? I just couldn’t do it.’

‘She never needs to know about Max and, yes, I am suggesting it.’

‘But Dallas would never agree.’

‘Who says we have to be with Dallas? I’ve been going through our contract with Hadley and it would be possible to fire him. I think we have to give him about three months’ notice but then we could manage ourselves.’

‘But Dallas has been great for us. Do you really think we could do as well as him?’

‘I just don’t know if Dallas would ever agree to get rid of Belle. And the question is, do you want to be in a group with Belle for much longer? I think she’s holding us back.’

Tahlia had a point but Crystal thought there was a strong chance they’d be shooting themselves in the foot. Would they really do as well without Dallas? And she knew that Dallas would not give them up without a fight, and God knows what Max would do.

‘
NO! I HATE
it, take it off!’ Belle said crossly as Crystal emerged from the changing room in the fifth bridesmaid’s dress she had tried on for Belle.

‘What’s the problem with this one?’ Crystal answered back, bored with being at Belle’s beck and call.

‘It’s just wrong, not what I want. Put the other one on.’

‘You’re not getting married until next April!’ Crystal replied.

‘I know and I want every detail to be perfect,’ Belle snapped back.

Sighing, Crystal returned to the dressing room where the assistant helped unfasten the tiny diamante buttons down the side of the dress. Meanwhile, Tahlia had emerged from the changing room in one of the other dresses, only to receive another negative reaction from Belle.

The trouble was that Belle wanted designer and although Daddy was coughing up a small fortune to pay for the wedding and Belle had managed to secure a deal with a celeb mag for exclusive coverage, there still wasn’t quite enough money for Belle to have the wedding she thought she should have. She wasn’t quite famous enough in her own right to get a bigger deal from the magazine. And so Belle was having to settle for off-the-hanger bridesmaids’ dresses so that there would be enough money to pay for her own designer wedding dress.

Earlier in the week when the girls were in the studio, Belle
had told them how she wanted a midsummer night’s dream theme – she wanted to transform the marquee into an enchanted forest with trees, banks of flowers, a chocolate fountain, ice sculptures of nymphs and plenty of moss . . .

‘It’s very important that I have lots of moss everywhere. Victoria Beckham really likes moss in her arrangements so I want that look as well,’ Belle had told Crystal and Tahlia, who both had to struggle to keep a straight face.

‘And I want the staff to be dressed as fairies.’

‘Even the men?’ Crystal asked, trying not to giggle.

‘Of course. They can wear green tunics and tights or something like that.’

‘Won’t there be too much green because of all your moss?’ Tahlia put in.

‘God, I hadn’t thought of that. Maybe they should wear silver.’

‘I hope you’re getting some fit-looking waiters then, because not everyone can carry off silver tunics. You don’t want any porkers, do you?’ Crystal said giggling with Tahlia. Belle clearly did not see the joke. ‘Yes,’ she said huffily. ‘I’ll get the wedding planner to insist that I only have good-looking, slim waiters.’

‘Isn’t that discrimination?’ Crystal couldn’t resist adding.

‘Fuck off,’ Belle snapped. ‘It’s my wedding, I’ll do what I like.’