“Was Carly with you?”
“Yes, but she got in a workout while I was
interviewing. Weird that the first place I went I was hired. But
I’m happy. It’s like a dream job for me. I think they said
something about tuition after a 90 day trial period. So I could go
to school as well.”
“For?”
“I don’t know. Maybe nutrition, maybe
psychology,” I laughed, “Maybe a nutritional psychologist.”
He was looking at me funny, I smiled,
“What?”
“What are your hours?”
“At my job?”
“Yes Tara, at your job.”
Okay he was kind of acting like an ass,
“Seven to four, Monday through Friday. If I want to earn more I can
pick up extra hours. But I think I should try to get the hang of it
before I take on private clients.”
His jaw tightened and eyes narrowed, “Yeah,
of course you should take a few months to get …whatever.”
I smiled, “Is everything okay?”
“Yep, everything’s fine.”
I got out and looked at him, “Hey Cyrus, you
should come in and tell me about you. I just learned today that you
own a few businesses and …”
“I’ll walk you in.”
Man he was being curt. When he got next to
me I reached to feel his forehead and he stepped back.
“I’m fine.”
I would not let his mood squash mine. I was
going to be happy. Grateful for what I had and what I have now.
He was staring at me when I finally looked
up.
I smiled and looked away.
“Tara, you have a key correct?”
“Oh, yep, I have a key.” I reached in my
pocket and it wasn’t there, “No, I don’t it must have fallen
out.”
He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes.
“They’re probably in your Jeep Cyrus.”
He pulled them out of his pocket, “You left
them on the floor at the shop. You can’t be fucking careless with
shit like this Tara. What if someone else got them?”
“Well, they probably would have handed them
to me?” I said under my breath as he unlocked the door and pushed
it open.
“No Tara don’t be naive. You need to be
careful, not careless.”
I walked past him and into the kitchen. I
took out the left over soup and some frozen garlic knots and wanted
to throw them in the microwave just to make him mad like he was
trying to make me but I didn’t. He kept going.
“You need to put them in a bag, do you have
a purse? Maybe we could change the door knob and get you a key pad
so if you fucking lose them …What would you have done Tara? If you
lost your keys what would you have done?”
I put a pot on the stove and the knots in
the oven. He was being an ass and I was going to ignore it.
“Are you going to answer me?”
I shook my head no and tried to walk past
him.
He grabbed me around the waist and turned me
towards him.
He stared at me, angry, he was so angry. I
didn’t want to cry but I wasn’t going to answer him.
“You would have been fucked Tara. You have
no phone, no car, you would have been out there alone! You gotta
think, Tara!”
I pushed his hands away and went to the
bathroom and tried to get myself together. I heard the door
slam.
I walked out and turned off the oven and
stove. I looked out the window and he was gone, and right now I was
glad.
I carried boxes upstairs, the things he had
brought back to me from my apartment and my family home in Red
Hook.
It hurt my heart that he was upset with me.
Regardless of what journey I had been on for fifteen years, it
brought me here. It brought Cyrus into my life and he brought me
closure to a pain I had felt for so long. So him being upset with
me hurt me, because he was the reason for all of this new found
joy.
I must have fallen asleep because it was
dark when I woke up. I heard people --two distinct voices, Cyrus
and Bella.
I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth
before walking down.
“You’re awake?”
“You’re here?”
She hugged me tight and I hugged her
back.
“We need to go soon, she wanted to say hi,”
Cyrus wouldn’t even look at me.
“We do not, I’m not even going to school
tomorrow and Momma Carly said they would pick me up when they left
the funeral home.”
“I’m sure Tara has things to do Bella,”
Cyrus winked at her, totally normal with her but way off with
me.
Bella and I colored for a while and he sat
and tapped away on his iPad. Every time I glanced up he looked
down. He was pacing when his phone rang. He walked outside to
answer it.
Bella asked if we could watch a movie, I
asked if she wanted to talk, she didn’t.
“If you ever do, remember I will
listen.”
Bella was a wiz with the remote, she found
the Lorax and smiled at me when it came on. I asked her if she
wanted popcorn and she didn’t. She laid down on the couch and was
asleep within ten minutes.
I loved her soft hair, so thick and dark and
so full of knots. I smiled and combed through it with my fingers.
Gently trying not to pull. It was a definite sign that it had been
a rough day.
Cyrus walked in and saw her head on my lap
and me combing through it.
“She okay?”
“She’s tired, I know obviously. I used to
twist my hair when I was upset. I think that’s what she did. I’m
just trying to get some of them out.”
“Jase was on the phone. I’m gonna take her
home with me tonight, let them get some sleep.”
I nodded.
“I should let her sleep for a while?” He
looked at the time on his phone and back at me.
I wanted to say something to make things
less uncomfortable but I had no idea what to say so I didn’t.
After about thirty minutes he got up and
walked outside. I slid out from under her and made my way to the
bathroom. When I came out he was standing in the kitchen. I
seriously considered sneaking out but he turned around.
“I got this phone, nothing fancy. But it’s
got Carly’s phone number programmed in it...”
“And yours?” Oh I hadn’t meant to ask but I
did.
“You want mine in here?” He scowled as he
pushed through the numbers.
“Cyrus look. I’m not going to pretend that
the whole key thing didn’t confuse the hell out of me. I’m not
going to pretend that you going off on me didn’t make me upset,
because it did. I had a phone once, I had an apartment, a job. It
wasn’t a place like this, and the job was supposed to be a cocktail
waitress. I only danced three times, one of which you paid for. I’m
not the master mind behind the video, I never wanted to do
it….”
“I’m sorry Tara, I’m not judging you…”
I took in a deep breath, “I left the keys.
It was an accident.”
“I am dealing with some shit right now Tara.
I took it out on you and you didn’t ask for any of it.”
“Well, talk to me.”
He shook his head, “Just a lot to deal
with.”
“Are you sure you feel alright? I mean, you
haven’t been yourself. Well not the you I’ve come to—know. Cyrus if
this is because I brought up
her
I need you to know it
wasn’t to hurt you.”
“Didn’t think it was, Tara.”
He was getting cold again and I was doing it
to him.
“Okay, well sorry.”
“Look I’m going to give you some money for
the week. You can get it back to me or not, not a big deal.”
“No, Cyrus what do I need money for? I can
walk it’s close, I have food, I have clothes. I will be fine. You
need to worry about you and everything you’ve got going.”
“I am going into work at 7:30 in the
morning. I’ll give you a ride.”
“I have been able to walk for a few years
now,” I tried to joke with him.
“I’m going to wake Bella, you wanna say
goodbye?”
“Of course I do.”
After sleepy hugs and goodbyes with Bella I
looked at Cyrus and immediately felt emotionally overloaded. I made
myself smile and shut the door behind him.
I laid on the couch and watched the rest of
the Lorax while I cried for whatever it was I had done to upset
him.
~
I woke and showered and dressed. I did my
hair and put on make-up for the first time in almost a week. I
looked in the mirror and realized that you can clearly see the one
nipple ring still in.
I looked at the clock and it was six
fifteen. I was going to try to get out before he showed up. I
didn’t want either one of us to start the day off feeling tortured,
well at least that’s how I felt.
I threw my shirt up as I walked down the
stairs and pulled my bra down examining my breast, trying to figure
out how to remove it. I walked quickly to the bathroom and ran
smack into the hottest man I had ever laid eyes on in a dark grey
suit.
He grabbed my arms when I stumbled back
catching me from falling on my bottom.
“What the hell are you doing?”
I looked down and covered my breast.
“Well I could probably ask you the same
thing Cyrus,” I was sure my voice squeaked and quickly covered my
chest.
He closed his eyes and looked away.
Apparently I wasn’t going to get to start my day off feeling
happy.
He looked down at my very tight white tank
top, “That’s too tight.”
I rolled my eyes, “It’s the uniform Cyrus,”
I walked around him and into the bathroom, “I’m aware it’s tight.
By the way, good morning.”
I heard him pacing, “Hurry up and I’ll take
you to get some breakfast.”
“Not hungry and I really want to walk, but
thank you.”
“Look, I’m taking you for breakfast and to
work. I’m even going to pick you up from work and bring you home.
Until you get a vehicle, you’re going to deal with it.”
“One day, just one day Cyrus, I was happy.
You
made me happy, you helped me to rid my heart of fifteen
years of hurt and I don’t know what I did, but I must have crushed
you and I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention. So please, just let me
walk, let me breathe, forgive me, comfort me, let me comfort you,
but don’t do this because it hurts me so bad.”
I took several breaths before looking up at
him. He looked crushed. I didn’t mean to hurt him.
He let me walk out the door, “Tara your
phone.”
“It’s not mine Cyrus, okay? It’s not
mine.”
“If I can’t take you to work, let me …take
the damn phone alright? I changed your door knob. I’ll text you the
starter code if you wanna change it go ahead.”
“Please just stop taking care of me okay
Cyrus, take care of you because right now you clearly need it more
than I do.”
I ran to work, with the phone in my hand and
made it three miles in half an hour with ten minutes to spare.
Perfect.
When I walked in there were four people. I
knew none of them. There were two girls both in excellent physical
condition, very defined muscles and both wearing the same outfit I
was. Neither seemed very friendly but not everyone was a morning
person like I was. The two guys had on tight tanks and warm up
pants. One could possibly be related to the incredible hulk, he
smiled and nodded as he continued calibrating machines. The other
had sandy blonde hair pulled back into a short ponytail and bright
blue eyes. Great body, just not as bulky as the other guy. He
smiled and walked towards me.
“Tara?”
“Yes I’m Tara Gardner.”
“Great, I’m your knew best friend, Christoff
George. Oh and the manager from five until two. I’m gonna show you
the ropes and please tell me that cute little smile is gonna stay
on your lips darlin’ cause these three are great and all, but have
the combined personality of a damn hush puppy. Now don’t you dare
repeat that,” he grabbed my hand and whisked me into the employee
locker room. “Your locker is number sixty nine, which by the way is
one of my favzies positions, don’t be weirded out sweet thing,
cause you’re definitely not my type.”
I had to laugh, thank God I laughed. It was
gonna be a fun day.
“You just gonna laugh girl or you gonna tell
me why you look so damn sad?”
“Christoff George, thank you for making me
laugh and I’m just gonna ask you to work me like a dog.”
“Hmmm, I think you’re gonna need some time
to trust me darling, but you will.”
“I know I will.”
He showed me everything, we worked hard for
several hours. I knew that I was going to be fast friends with
Christoff George, and that I would love my new job.
When it came time for my lunch break I
realized I hadn’t brought lunch. Which immediately made me think of
Cyrus. I decided to sit outside at a picnic table and take in the
afternoon sun.
The back door swung open, “Hey darlin’, hate
to do this the first day but the powers that be have sent down some
new policies we need to go over, the good news is: they’re covering
lunch.”
I walked in and sat in the café waiting for
the others. The back door opened and three people walked in
carrying trays of food and drinks.
I watched as the others walked in and sat.
Christoff George strutted in and stood at the head of the
table.
“Alright we have some new policies that are
to be implemented tomorrow. First is …” He stopped and laughed, “A
seven hour work day? No shit! We will still be paid the same and
have the same breaks. Says they have done some studies and feel we
need to let our bodies rest and that working them as hard as they
are sure we do isn’t beneficial to us which has a direct effect on
our performance and how we handle our clients. Next up our clients.
Says here they have no problem with us personally training clients
but they need to be approved through them, an email will be sent
containing proper forms to be filled out and approved before
training begins. Employees who have gotten through their probation
period and proper training will be eligible at that time.
Apparently it’s a liability issue. Uniforms, due to the change in
weather we will be required to wear either long biker shorts or
warm up pants. Tank tops will be used in the summer only, for fall,
winter, and spring we are to wear the uniform t shirts that will be
arriving here by days end. We will be receiving winter clothing.
Health insurance and tuition assistance will be available at the
end of week one to all employees. No fraternization policy,” he
laughed and winked at me. “Alright we also get a meal for every
five hour shift we work provided by the café, along with drinks
containing electrolytes. New employees will work at reception for a
minimum of two weeks to get to know the clients and should act
professionally always. New employee loan program will be starting
at the end of the week through a credit union with low interest
rates available to employees who pass the credit check. Payroll
deduction can be used weekly for payments on things like cars and
homes.” Christoff George looked up. “I really don’t know what to
say about this. I checked the calendar and it’s not April first so
I guess this is for real. Darlin’ uncover those trays I am thinking
it’s gonna be steak and lobster tail.”