Cyrus (3 page)

I still respected them even though Tony said
they were scum for doing that to me. What he didn’t understand then
was that their home was the first home that I lived at since I was
five that I actually slept at night without fear that someone would
hurt me.

He knew that now. That’s why I think he
loves me, because I’m
special
. I’m his and lucky to be. When
we met I was living in a basement of a rundown building in Harlem.
He and a bunch of guys were trying to find a place to sleep as
well. He told me later that they weren’t really his friends and
that the cops were looking for them for selling drugs. He was the
cutest, strongest, and nicest one. He was protective over me. He
held me that first night. He asked me questions about me and
listened. I told him what I could that night. The next day when I
woke up they were all gone and I thought he was either a dream or
an angel. When I walked out of the building with my bag, I had left
my suitcase for Johnny, he was outside leaning on a car holding a
McDonalds bag.

He fed me that morning and that night, and I
told him everything else: about my parents, all about the homes I
had been in, and everything that had happened to me. We slept in
the car that night. When we woke up, he drove me to the Y and told
me he would be back when he could. He was going to try to find work
and a place for us.
For us
.

He and a few friends showed up a week later
at the place in Harlem. He had a bag full of food and I ate until I
threw up. His friends laughed at me and he told them to
get the
fuck out
. Tony had found a motel that rented by the week and
had enough to pay for a month’s rent, he took care of me. It only
took a few days before I could eat without throwing up and felt
well again.

I went to the Y while he worked and I
actually got my first paying job. I worked twelve hours cleaning
the shower rooms. I was given access to use the facilities so I
watched the gymnastics classes and a few dance classes. When the
gym was open I practiced, just like I did in the after school
programs.

Tony was happy when I showed him my first
paycheck. . I made enough money to pay for us to have cable and
food, even a few extra dollars for a new outfit. Tony was so happy
when I gave him a new shirt. That was the first time he kissed
me.

I don’t know how to explain how it made me
feel, because I’m still not sure. But I know when his hands went up
my tee shirt and he caressed my breast it felt very good. I trusted
him. He laid on the bed and patted the spot next to me and asked me
to lay down. He flipped on the TV and pulled me into his arms he
took my hand and set it on him.

“Feel what you do to me Tara?” I was
nervous, “You make me feel real good.” He held my hand in his and
slid it inside his pants. “I know you don’t know how to do this
yet, so let me teach you.”

He wrapped my hand around him, it was a
strange feeling… hard as a rock and soft like velvet and the tip
was moist. He pulled his pants down with his other hand and asked
me to kiss it and I did. He pulled my shirt over my head and pulled
me on top of him and he took my breast in his mouth and licked and
sucked. It felt good, really nice.

“What’s the matter Tara you don’t like it?”
he asked as he pushed me to my side.

“I like it,” I remember feeling my face
burning with embarrassment.

“Relax Tara let me make you feel good,” his
mouth was all over my breasts sucking and tugging at my nipples
until they started to get sore.

He sat up and turned on the light and looked
at me. He looked a little angry but more confused. “Tara, what’s
wrong with you?”

I didn’t know how to answer him and I felt
tears fill my eyes.

“No don’t fucking cry, just tell me are they
always like this, flat like this?”

He was talking about my nipples, and yes
they were but… I didn’t know why that was wrong.

He used my bus money to buy a porno so he
could
show me
. I had never seen anything like it. He was
erect and his eyes looked heavy, “See Tara, look at her boobs,
that’s what I’m used to.”

He took my hand and placed it on him, “You
would look just as hot as her if you could do that Tara. Do you
think you could try?”

I did. I used my mouth just like she was and
he was loud, just like the guy was. That was the first time he came
in my mouth and his praise made me so happy, “You did so good Tara.
So good.”

We watched that movie every night for the
next week. He had me say the same things to him and he instructed
me. “We’re so much better at this than they are Tara,” he cried out
as he filled my mouth.

The next night he wanted to try something.
He brought KY jelly home and had me rub it all over him. He had me
undress and lay on the bed. He spread my legs wide and kissed me,
“To much hair, it needs to go. You’re okay with that right, you
want to be just as beautiful as that girl in the movie right?”

I didn’t argue, it actually felt good having
him finally touch me between my legs. He was extra careful when he
shaved me and when he was finished he rubbed his finger around the
spot that was so tender it made me moan.

“You like that?”

“I do, I really do,” he took my hand and
brought me back to the bed and told me to lay down. He sat at my
head and asked me to
suck his dick.
He laid above me and as
he pushed deep into my mouth his tongue lapped at that spot and I
felt fire between my legs. As he continued to push into my mouth he
kept licking me until he came.

Tony liked that movie a lot and the next
week with my extra money he bought another.

One night after he filled my mouth I asked
him if we could do it, the intercourse part and he said not yet. He
said I was too special. And he made me feel that way. When he
kissed my body and licked me I felt even more beautiful than the
women on the movie. He told me I was. He used his cell phone that
night to video me sucking him. He came on my face and showed me
telling me “That’s how good you make me feel Tara.”

He was working at a Strip club and got me a
job there too. I didn’t want to dance but I could serve drinks. He
promised he would watch over me. One day the owner called me in and
Tony was there already. Apparently Tony had showed him the video on
his phone and he wanted me to know how talented I was. I was
embarrassed at first but he assured me it was a very professional
opinion. Then Tony asked me to do it in front of him. I said no and
Tony got mad, “Are you ashamed of what we do, Tara?”

“No, it’s just…”

“Do you love me Tara?”

I shook my head yes, “Then show me. Don’t
hide it from anyone anymore Tara, Show Larry how much you love
me.”

They had me do a couple shots to loosen me
up. Apparently that’s what the women in the movies did and it
worked. “It’s just you and me Tara, suck my dick girl.”

When we finished Larry showed me the video
he took without me knowing and then he used his computer to change
a few things, making it look more like the movie Tony and I
watched. I looked just like her, Tony told me--- even better. That
was the first night he told me he loved me and would always.

It was also the night he told me he wanted
us to make a real movie. To show the world he loved me. He was so
happy, so proud of me. I wasn’t sure but I was sure I wanted to see
him happy like that, see the love in his eyes just like I saw then,
forever.

I moved into the apartment with some of the
girls I worked with because he wanted to save money for production
costs. He wanted to make it beautiful just like our love. He moved
in with some friends and I moved into the small two bedroom
apartment with seven other girls. The rent was cheap, only a
hundred dollars a week for each of us. Tony told me it was a really
good deal because Larry owned the building. It was a perk of being
one of his special girls.

I have lived here for three months now and
although it was safe, it was not my favorite place to be.

“Why you so quiet?” Tony was agitated, I
knew this because he was tapping the steering wheel with his thumb
for the past ten minutes.

“I was just thinking.”

“About that guy?”

“No actually I was…”

“Don’t fucking lie to me Tara! Is that what
you want, some fucking muscle head fucking you?”

“No Tony, I was thinking…”

“Well don’t fucking think Tara,” he grabbed
my hand and squeezed it hard, “You’re fucking thinking about him.”
I tried to pull my hand away and he held tighter, “Do you want
him!”

“NO! Tony… you’re hurting me,” Again I tried
to pull away and he held tighter.

Tony slammed on his brakes and pulled over
and threw the car into park, “Is he the fucking guy from the other
night?!”

“Yes but…”

“Did you fuck him?!”

“Of course not…” he reached across the car
and opened my door and pushed me out. “Fucking walk!”

What the hell just happened? I had no idea
what had gotten into Tony. But I couldn’t stand here or I’d end up
getting mugged or raped or killed. I started walking, and then
running. Scared I was so scared. When I turned the corner he was
standing outside the car leaning on it his chest was pumping and he
didn’t look at me.

“Do you still want us?”

“Tony of course…”

“Prove it to me Tara, prove to me that you
are mine!”

His eyes were wild and I had never seen him
like this before, “Anything Tony, you know that.”

He opened the door and I got in. He turned
the car around and drove back to the shore. We pulled up in front
of the place I had gotten my piercing. He jumped out of the car and
opened my door.

“They’re opened for another hour Tara. I
want to be yours. I want my name on your body when those cameras
are rolling so men like that fucker don’t think they can have
you.”

“Okay,” I swallowed hard.

We sat in a room and Tony I looked at the
floor while Tony told the man what he wanted the Celtic symbol for
purity a circle with what looked like a plus sign in the middle of
it. I laid down covered by a sheet as the man drew on my stomach
below my belly button. Tony was smiling at me, he was happy. I was
afraid, so afraid.

When the outline began it felt like I was
being scratched by a cat, but slowly. It hurt so bad I felt my eyes
burning and looked at Tony. He held my hand as he watched. It
wasn’t that big so it didn’t take that long and towards the end I
was growing accustom to the feeling. The artist talked about all
the time it may take to do the shading and thought I may need a
break. Tony pulled out a wad of cash. More than I had ever seen
before.

“She’ll be fine won’t you Tara?”

I wanted to stop… I really did-- but I laid
there and tried to concentrate on the vibration. When it was done I
wanted to sit up.

“Wait, one more thing,” Tony ran his finger
across my pelvic bone. “Right Here it needs to say Tony’s September
28.”

“Why?” I was confused.

“That’s the date Tara, I can’t wait any
longer than that. I wanted to tell you earlier but well, you know.
You okay with that Tara? To be mine for real?”

“She’s pretty tender man, we should wait a
couple…”

“No. Do it now!” Tony threw two hundred more
dollars at him.

“Tony it really is sore, please just a
couple days?”

His eyes turned to ice and he grabbed the
money and shoved it in his pocket, “Let’s go.”

The artist gave me instructions and Tony
paced. After paying we left.

I had to walk fast to keep up. He was
already putting the car in drive when I opened the door and got in.
He peeled out and said nothing.

Finally I was brave enough to say something,
“It feels like a sunburn.”

Tony didn’t respond.

“Tony please don’t be mad at me.”

“Why didn’t you want my name on you
Tara?!”

“I just…I …it hurts Tony. I’ll do it in a
couple days okay?”

“What if I don’t have the fucking money in a
couple days Tara!”

“Looks like you have enough, we will
be…”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I work!”

“Tony I know that you work, we both…” He
slammed on the brakes and went to open my door again, “Please
don’t…please.”

“You scared Tara? Who keeps you safe? Who
takes care of you? Before you start thinking about that fucking
guy, think about that. He’s not going to want you for more than one
night, he’s not going to throw away a year of his life to make you
into something.”

I wanted to calm him down, I had never seen
him like this, “We’re good Tony, you and I are good. I don’t want
anyone else I just need to know that you’re okay.”

“And there you go! You think I’m selling
drugs, well they weren’t mine Tara,” he spat when he screamed.

I didn’t know what to say: I kind of froze,
and I knew immediately why Tony was acting the way he was.

Smashing
Panties

I woke up with a knot in my chest and a
mouth full of cotton. My head hurt so bad I didn’t want to move.
For a minute I thought I was late for work but then I remembered it
was Saturday. I relaxed deeper into my bed until I heard someone
moan,
awe shit
. I opened my eyes and saw two naked bodies
sprawled on my bed,
not fucking bad at all
.

I pushed an arm off my chest and rolled to
my side and crawled over
what’s her name
. I was directly
over her and my morning wood dragged across her tits and she smiled
and opened her eyes, “Need someone to take care of that?”

As much as a morning blow job would have
felt great I declined, “Nah, I gotta take a piss.”

I walked down the hall as Miss September was
sneaking out of Nickey’s room, “Morning.” I walked by her fully
aware that I was naked and she got a glimpse of the goods standing
at attention. I stopped and watched her gawk, making sure she had
enough time to take it
all
in, and let’s be honest, there’s
a lot to take in. When her jaw snapped shut, I smirked and thought
about covering myself. Instead I took hold of it and stroked my
hand down my cock once and then walked into the bathroom. Bet she
wishes she sat tight for a while before jumping ship now.